Chapter 18: Peace

Natasha was shot, but somehow Steve felt more pain. He felt the pain of guilt, regret and in that moment he wish he'd been shot too, because he didn't want to live a day without her.

He kneeled on the ground and tried to put pressure on the bullet wound right in the center of abdomen. 'Did the bullet hit any organs, how much blood can a person loose?' Were just a few of the many questions spewing in his brain.

As soon as he put his hands on her wound she groaned in pain. Her breath was jagged.

"St-Steve?" She choked out.

"I'm here nat, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He said bringing his face closer to hers.

"I-I didn't mean it" she said before erupting in a coughing fit.

That's when he noticed the blood on the side of her mouth. Internal bleeding.

"I know, it's okay, you're going to be okay" he said wiping the blood off the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

Natasha didn't want to leave Steve, not like this but she was in so much pain. It was getting harder and harder to breath and her vision was being replace with black dots. She just wanted a little more time.

"Steve I-I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, you're so strong, stronger than I ever will be. Just keep your eyes on me" he said noticing that her eyes were becoming unfocused, glazed over with pain.

"Pr-promise me that you'll move on." She said finding it harder to concentrate on everything around her.

"I can't make any promises, but I will try" he said with a teary voice.

Her shaky, blood stained hand slowly touched his cheek and that's when she knew. She may have been sitting in a puddle of her own blood, in the very place that created her, but in this moment Natasha knew that people would miss her, that people did care about her and she was wanted. Her name might not make it on the news or posters but it would be remembered in the hearts of those who cared about her, those who she owed everything to and those she would miss the most.

When she first came to SHIELD she felt like an outcast. But now looking into Steve blue orbs she knew that she was a part of something good, something worth it. She may not have won the perfect life, but she certainly didn't lose.

Natasha wanted to say goodbye to Steve, she wanted to say how much she cared about him and how he would be her worst regret but she couldn't. She couldn't because she knew that he already knew that. She could tell by the way he looked at her, the way he treated her and most importantly the way he trusted her, even when it took her a while to trust him back.

As the pain in her chest went numb and her surroundings went dim she looked into his eyes and said "I'm going to haunt your sorry ass."

A single tear rolled down her cheek as she shut her eyes for the last time, but it was a tear of happiness because she may not of wiped out all the red in her ledger but she replace it with the red of something else, the red of the love she never thought she would deserve.

She didn't believe in heaven but she did believe in peace and maybe she would finally find something close to that. She took her last breath and thought not of what she was leaving behind but what she was gaining. She wasn't giving up, she was letting go.

The last thing she recalled was being lifted into Steve's arms before finally giving into to the everlasting sleep that awaited her.

When one door closes, another opens, but maybe just maybe this door wasn't quite ready to shut all the way yet.

Is she dead or is she alive? comment your thoughts;)