Chapter 19: Numb

Death is strange. When people die their loved ones cry but normally it's not for the deceased. People cry because they'll never get to see that person again, talk to them, touch them. We cry to make ourselves feel better not the other way around.

Each avenger was sitting in the hospital waiting room with a different emotion pooling inside them, but none of them were crying.

Bruce was angry. He was always angry, but this time he was furious. He was mad that it took them so long to find Steve and Natasha. 'I'm a god damn scientist and I couldn't do anything helpful enough to save them in time' he thought to himself. He remembered when he hulked out on her in the helicarrier, and even though he nearly killed her, she treated him no different. They both had a monster inside of them, his was a little more out there, but they both were struggling with inner demons and because if that she was one of the few people he could talk to for help. He would miss that the most about her.

Next to him was Tony. Tony felt anxious. They've all been sitting in the waiting room for 2 and a half hours with still no news. The waiting was killing him. Tony stark was a lot of things but patient was not one of them. 'With all this technology it still wasn't good enough to find them before everything went to hell' he thought. He remembered when he first meant Natasha when she was undercover at Stark Enterprise. Without her he probably would have died, without her a lot of people would have died. He would miss calling her red, or hitting on her just to make her angry. She always kept him in check despite what an asshole he could be and he would miss that the most.

Next to tony was Clint. Clint felt guilty. He felt guilty that he wasn't there to take the fall. He was her partner, she was like a sister to him and he just let her get hurt. He always swore to her that she would be safe, that the Red Room was long gone, but he was wrong. She trusted him and he failed her. He would do anything to go back and trade places with her but it was too late. 'I don't know how I'll be able to go back to work if she dies, she's helped me through everything, and I couldn't be there the one time she needed me the most' he thought. He remembered cornering her in that ally way in France. He had orders to kill her but he saved her instead. All this time he thought that she was in his debt but really it was the complete opposite. She made him a better man everyday, she taught him that he can come back from something terrible and he would miss her smile after she kicked his ass in the gym or the way she proved everyone wrong, the way she continued to prove him wrong.

Next to Clint was Thor. Thor was sad. He was sad that he was a god but even his powers couldn't save her in time He didn't know Natasha very long but for a human she sure did have some skill. He remembered the day she out tricked the trickster, his brother. The way she fought with such a passion that would make the finest warriors in Asgard proud. Thor was sad because someone as good as her shouldn't die, they should be praised and worshipped, but she just stood behind the scenes. He would miss the light like thunder that he would see in her eyes before a battle, her will to fight not for the greater good, but because it was good and he would make sure no one would ever forget her.

Right next to Thor, slouched down in a chair, with his head in his hands was Steve. He got all bandaged up when he got to the hospital, not like he needed to anyway because if the serum, but he still ached. The same moment kept flashing through his head.

"I'm going to haunt your sorry ass"
Said Natasha.

He didn't quite expect her to say that but he didn't expect anything less. There was so much blood and he didn't know what to do. Her eyes slowly closed as a tear rolled down her cheek and he panicked. She couldn't die, not yet, it wasn't her time.

Without thinking he lifted her up in his arms and ran as fast as he could out the door. He had no idea where he was going but he didn't care. He wasn't doing to let Natasha die in a place so terrible and evil as this place. She deserved so much more.

He got to a stair case and just kept running up and up the steps, loosing count on how many floors he went up. His leg and shoulder were throbbing but he ignored it because his will to get her out of here was stronger.

The next thing he knew, he was outside on a roof and a helicopter was there waiting. He didn't know whether it was good luck or a miracle but he didn't care. Steve ran to the helicopter faster than he's ever run before and as soon as he boarded it took off. Clint and Bruce were already on it. Thor and tony were fighting inside the building.

"She needs medical attention" Steve said out of breath while he gently place Natasha on the gurney.

Bruce took control covering her open wounds and hooking her up to a heart and lung machine.

"I don't have enough equipment, we need to get to a hospital ASAP" said Bruce in his doctor voice, as the pilot sped up.

"What the hell happened out there?" Asked Clint.

"You don't want to know" said Steve.

Right after he said that Natasha began to flatline. Bruce shocked her and she came back, but it was a close one.

The rest of the ride was silent minus the faint beeping of the heart machine. The ride seemed to take forever before they finally got to the nearest hospital.

Doctors and nurses came in and wheeled Natasha out and into surgery. Steve faintly remembered being patched up but it was all a blur.

Now here he was waiting to be told whether Natasha was alive or dead. He wished he felt sad or angry but all he felt was numbness. He couldn't stop thinking of her and her eyes and face and voice. They were both people out of time and with her around he didn't feel so alone but if she died he-he didn't even want to think about that. Steve couldn't pick a specific thing he would miss about her the most because the truth was he would miss everything. He knew that sounded cheesy but it was the truth. All he knew was that he would always remember her for everything that she was, because she was everything to him.

Steve was pulled out of his thoughts when a doctor walked out looking exhausted, the once white scrubs were now red and he had a strange look on his face and Steve couldn't figure out whether it was good news or bad news.

The doctor said something and then time seemed to stop.

One more chapter left!