Changeling – Part 3
Minus 18 vorns
About a vorn after the occupation had begun, the frontlines shifted to Tarn territory. Injured military became the exception rather than the rule, and the base was kept on the barest minimum of personnel.
So the dark blue Seeker with the yellow highlights and an impressive hole in his wing – fist-sized, to be exact – came as somewhat of a surprise late one evening. He landed on Crank's operating table because people knew he never minded staying late if there were injuries to be repaired.
The Seeker – Jetstream, someone supplied – was out cold, probably from the pain. Crank set up a spark monitor, then ran a scan to make sure everything was as it should.
Jetstream felt somewhat familiar. It was an odd feeling, as if Crank's spark had suddenly decided to grow feet and pace in its casing. Gah. Crank shook his head and concentrated on the readings – all was well. He induced artificial stasis, inspected the wound, collected the necessary replacement parts and got to work.
He left Jetstream under when he went home for the night, with instructions for the morning shift to wake the Seeker. Jetstream needed at least another orn of rest anyway and two or three orns of light duty before he could fly again.
By the time Crank returned for his next shift, Jetstream had been moved to a ward and Crank had to wait to see him until he made his usual rounds. He saved the Seeker for last, figuring he'd need time to puzzle out what had caused the odd attraction he felt. It wasn't anything sexual, that much was clear.
Jetstream was reading when Crank entered the ward. He frowned at Crank, and suddenly, the weird feeling was back, Crank's spark jumping around in his chest as if trying to signal someone in a crowd.
Tilting his head, Jetstream considered Crank. "How old are you?" he asked.
"One hundred and eighty five. Why?"
"Hmm. Come here, please? I want to make sure of something."
Crank did. It was utterly ridiculous, but the request was so compelling, he couldn't refuse. When he finally stood near the berth, Jetstream reached out and drew Crank into a hug.
He should have been panicky. He should consider this an assault, defend himself, and yet Crank melted into the touch and felt safer than he ever had in his life. There was a warm presence around him, overflowing with love and a happiness so intense Crank nearly broke out into sobs. Nothing had ever felt more right, and there was the mystery of how he had lived without this before.
Eventually, reality returned somewhat, making him aware he was hiding his face in Jetstream's shoulder and that Jetstream was stroking his back in slow, soothing motions.
"Hey," Jetstream said when Crank finally found the courage to withdraw a little.
The joy abated somewhat, leaving love and a deep sense of insecurity. Suddenly, it occurred to Crank that Jetstream was feeling those things.
"What just happened?"
Jetstream sighed. "I got something back I thought I'd never have again. I never dared to hope I'd find you."
Huh. "Care to clarify?"
A small peck on his helm. "You're mine. I carried you."
Oh. Oh sweet Primus.
Crank found himself pulled into the Jetstream again, was glad he could hide his face, because he had no idea what to even feel; gratitude, loss, joy, guilt, all warring in his spark for dominance. And yet, he felt more home than ever before.
In the end, he had to let go because several people were clamoring for his presence over the comm., and for the first time ever he had the urge to tell them to shove it up their exhausts.
"I gotta go."
"Be back," Jetstream implored.
"Of course."
For the rest of his shift, Crank tried to make sense of what had happened. He'd imagined finding his creators countless times, but never had his fantasies contained this much anxiety and confusion, nor had they been able to prepare him to the experience of an actual creation bond, this certainty that was both intrusion and comfort.
Now, Crank was aware of what Jetstream was feeling at any given moment, the joy and the insecurities. It was somehow a relief that Jetstream was just as clueless as Crank about how to handle things. But as promised, Crank went to see his creator after his shift had ended, and for most of that time, Jetstream seemed content to be able to hold him.
"You have very strong shielding," Jetstream commented after a while. "I can barely get a sense of what you feel."
"You don't? I'm not doing it on purpose."
Jetstream nuzzled his helm. "It's alright. I suppose… I suppose it's from the separation. You might have thought I- I didn't want you or some such."
"Maybe." Crank remembered a conversation on a street, where he had come to that conclusion. "I can't remember things that early, but I don't think I was in any pain." But he had turned out to be guarded around strangers.
"Good. I'd worried. I was-" Jetstream sighed.
Suddenly, it occurred to Crank that his creator had lived with a Crank-sized hole in his spark all this time and had hurt. Every breem of every orn he had hurt.
"I'm sorry," Crank said. "I put you through-"
"Don't. It's not your fault. My trine and I were being careless all on our own. I've heard talk you're looking that people won't be careless anymore. It's. I'm very glad you do. What made you become a medic?"
Crank accepted the evasive maneuver and explained, trying to ignore Jetstream's sorrow and his slight jealousy at those other parents, because no matter how much he'd wanted to raise his own sparkling, he'd never have been able to afford an education for Crank. In the end, pride took over.
"You stayed around for us?"
"For the Seekers," Crank said. "It seemed like the right thing to do, and by the stories I've heard since then, I want you to win."
Jetstream smiled brilliantly and looked too young to be anyone's parent. "I'd like you to meet you other creators…"
So, the next orn Jetstream's trinemates (Crank's two code donors, which had always been in the realm of possibility, but was still mind-boggling) arrived.
They didn't bother much with introductions – Sunburst tackled him, Cloudscape followed and Jetstream joined after being outvoted, and they were content to have Crank in the middle of a Seeker-huddle, for lack of a better word.
It had been the best decision, in hindsight, because slowly, Crank felt their spark energies seep through him, and eventually he had an idea what they were feeling and who they were, on a basic level. Sunburst, ever bouncy and positive, Cloudscape, quiet and a bit of a dreamer. Jetstream to keep the outfit together and actually make the things happen the other two set their sights on.
Crank saw how he'd always figured into these hopes, and felt all the unconditional love for him, and felt guilty.
"You'll find reason to love us eventually," Cloudscape said. "It must be terribly strange for you. I can feel those other parents. It's only a rudimentary bond, but you do love them, even if you don't like them very much."
Primus. Crank was disappointing everyone, wasn't he.
"Don't. If you take in any way after us, you'll find a way for reconciliation."
xxx
Crank's new-old parents liked to drop by the hospital whenever they could. One orn, Sunburst stuck his head into the thankfully quiet ER.
"Stardust?"
Crank frowned. "We have no one of that name here."
Sunburst's optics widened. "Sorry. I meant you."
Huh. "My name is Crank."
"I. Sorry. I…"
Seeing Sunburst fumble for an explanation, Crank invited him into his office.
Sunburst nodded gratefully and followed Crank, where he wasted no time and hugged him. Crank let him, the explanation would come forth in its own time.
"It's what we called you," Sunburst offered eventually. "It wasn't right, and it wasn't particularly clever, because we always knew we'd have to surrender you, but we didn't want you to be an 'it' or and accident. So we called you Stardust."
Stuff of sparklings tales, food of the spirits and ghosts, as beautiful as it was intangible. Quaintly surreal, and yet so full of longing Crank could still taste it.
"I understand. It's a good name."
Sunburst snuggled a little closer.
xxx
They offered a flight display when he first came to see them at the base. They were good flyers, showing off their most daring maneuvers for him.
Crank was quite at a loss for appropriate words when Sunburst asked for praise, but they laughed his stuttering off.
"Poor kid is overwhelmed," Jetstream grinned. "How do you do it anyway?"
"Do what?"
"I'd go crazy if I had to stay on the ground all the time."
Crank blinked. "I don't know. I've never had that much of an urge to fly."
He felt their instant worry and promised to get info on Seeker programming from Vos right away.
xxx
"So?" Jetstream sat on one of the repair tables in the ER and dangled his feet.
"Some of the Seeker instincts were disabled. So I won't suffer from claustrophobia. And the trine thing – it's not activated yet. Maybe it should only go online in adult Seekers. A young Seeker would have his parents, and shouldn't have any interest in sexual relations anyway, which I understand trine bonds are."
Jetstream sighed. "Some aren't. Some mechs just don't click that way and go looking for mates outside the trine. But you're right." He sighed. "Kids shouldn't really want to trine."
So many things lost, innocence and the experience of growing up instead of being thrown into a situation well over anyone's head. Crank moved in to hug his creator a little.
Minus 17 vorns
Loving his creators was a gradual process, until one orn the bonds felt so natural Crank couldn't imagine ever having been without them. But, sometimes, Crank got the notion that they felt terribly lacking as parents.
Cloudscape was in such a desperate mood when he waited for Crank to complete some routine maintenance on a worker.
"You shouldn't feel so badly," Crank told him when they were alone. "You're doing great."
"We're not doing anything."
"You're there. You're role models and you teach me Seeker things. Basic facts I should have learned when I was much younger. All you're missing is a chance to teach me how to fly."
Cloudscape grinned, bad mood forgotten. "Now that would be something."
It was then that a very daring idea took hold.
Minus 16 vorns
"I don't like that look on your face," Jetstream said.
The other two nodded along.
Crank grinned. He'd invited them over to his place for the revelation and sat them down at his living room table so they wouldn't fall over. "It's nothing bad. I've just decided to petition Arrowhead for a remodeling."
"A what?"
"I'd like a flight capable frame."
Cloundscape tilted his head. "You don't have to do this just because you think it might please us."
"I know it would please you, but that's not why I want this. I want to be able to join you up there and be free."
They nodded; this was a sentiment they understood.
In the end, they didn't fall over, if you didn't count Sunburst's tipsy stumble over a chair after they'd done some celebrating.
xxx
"Are you sure?" Arrowhead asked and leaned back in his office chair.
"Sir?" It wasn't the question Crank had expected.
"You'll be facing extreme prejudice. Also, I understand your adoptive parents are quite wealthy. They might not like this decision."
Crank tilted his head. "They didn't like my decision to stay behind, either. What is right and what pleases others is sometimes two different things."
Arrowhead nodded. "Very well. We will grant you permission and the necessary parts and medic, but it is a costly operation, and we expect compensation."
Of course. Crank nodded for him to go on.
"You will serve us as a medical officer. We'll assign you to different bases and expect you to train the medics there until they deserve the title. We might also decide to ask you to serve as a field medic."
"Fair enough. Is there a time limit?"
Not for the teaching position, it seemed. Crank agreed anyway. It sounded like a worthwhile position, and he could always negotiate wages once there were credits to go around again.
xxx
Crank had never quite felt as self-conscious as this orn. His new shell was neither taller nor heavier, but he suddenly took up so much more space, and he was bright sparkling white, like a medic had to be, and too top heavy.
Getting his adult frame hadn't been quite as awkward, and then he'd felt he'd die of embarrassment.
The feeling intensified when he stuck his head outside medbay and found his creators lingering in the corridor. They were feeling somewhat nervous, too, which was a relief.
"Hey." Jetstream had spotted him. "Come on out. Don't be shy."
So Crank did, and fought the urge to duck his head. They circled him.
"We have one good looking kid," Sunburst concluded eventually.
Crank cringed and Jetstream laughed.
"Sorry," Sunburst said, "it's just…"
"You weren't ugly before," Cloudscape came to his rescue. "But we tend to find groundpounders clumsy."
"I'm sure Starscream would disagree," Sunburst said.
Jetstream decked him. The clang echoed through the hallways.
"The paintjob is quite striking," Cloudscape said, unperturbed by the small scuffle. "Why did you decide on it?"
Crank looked to the floor. "I'm a medic. I have to be mostly white." Which left forearms and thrusters, and he'd decided on dark blue with gold piping. "And, well. Stardust."
It made Cloudscape squeal and pounce.
xxx
The sensation of flight was overwhelming. It used every amount of concentration you had to spare, but the sky was vast before you, ready to carry you as long as the fuel would last, and after the first bout of exhilaration, serenity took hold, all that existed was the now, and it was true freedom. Not only could you go where ever you pleased, if you worked with the weather, no, every stupid concern was left behind on the ground.
It was better than any meditation exercise Crank had been taught during his tour through the educational institutions.
xxx
"Have a seat," was the first thing the Air Commander said after beckoning Crank inside his office.
People had patted his arm when he'd said Starscream wanted to see him. He hadn't told anyone he'd had that particular mech on his operating table once, before the latest promotion.
"Thank you, sir," Crank said and carefully sat down opposite of Starscream.
"There are a few formalities to sort out now that you've completed basic training. First, I have no less than three names listed for you. Which is correct?"
"They are all correct, but I prefer to be called Crank. Sir."
"Right." Starscream dabbed at the datapad he was holding. "You're most definitely Sunburst's offspring. I also remember we had the pleasure to talk once. The change suits you."
"Thank you, sir."
Starscream raised one corner of his mouth. "That brings us to our second problem. Our CMO is claiming you should be his subordinate. But you're also a Seeker."
"Umm. Sir? I've not taken the oath. It would clash somewhat with the medics oath."
"Hm." Starscream smirked. "So that's settled. Have fun with Hook."
"Thank you, I suppose. Sir."
Starscream's grin softened into a genuine smile. Wow. Starscream never smiled at anyone, according to rumors. Crank could see why. It made you realize the Seeker was the best looking mech in the entire army, hands down.
"So, scat," Starscream continued. "You'll have to introduce yourself to Hook, he's not one for making appointments."
"Thank you." Crank smiled back and walked out, feeling somewhat dreamy.
xxx
When Crank told Jetstream about the meeting with Starscream, his creator wound an arm around his shoulders and squeezed.
"Everyone gets a crush on him sooner or later. There's just the deterring fact that he's crushing on Megatron something fierce. He won't notice you flirting. Just so you're warned."
"He smiled at me."
Jetstream kissed Crank's helm. "That might mean he remembered you and thinks you're a potential friend or ally. But don't let it get your hopes up."
Crank sighed.
Minus 14 vorns
Crank's creators were waiting on the landing platform outside the Praxus base and moved in to hug him as soon as he had touched down.
Their joy and relief came through rather muted, and with a pang Crank realized that the bond would grow weaker from here on, and that he was, inevitably, growing up. He was in a good mind to ask for a transfer to Praxus, where he'd have more of a chance to see them and-
"Aw." Cloudscape nuzzled him. "Be grateful for what we had, instead. In another life, we might never have met."
"Yeah," Sunburst said. "So… it's high time you trined. You find yourself a mate over in Kokular base yet?"
Crank ducked his head and they laughed.