I was going to make this two chapters but after I wrote both of them I didn't like it that way so I combined them and made them one. Also it works better with my plan for the next chapter. So, the first part of the chapter is Brittany's POV and the second is Santana's. I hope it's not too confusing. Enjoy.
Chapter 8
Brittany's POV
Today is like yesterday, which was like the day before, which was like the day before that. Get up, go to work, try not to think about Santana.
Easier said than done.
Try to get over the crush that I have on her. Try to forget about the idea of us being together as more than just friends.
I try, and try, and try to put her out of my mind but I don't ever succeed for very long. Maybe thirty or forty minutes, sometimes a hour or more. But, I never make it very long before something reminds me of her. I think of our camping trip or getting something to eat at the restaurant and think of her. I see someone with dark hair and dark skin and think of her.
And then I have to start thinking about something else or start doing something to distract myself from the thoughts of her. And it's okay for awhile.
Sometimes are harder than others but sometimes I feel like I'm mourning a loss. Not like if someone had died but mourning the loss of what could have been. Mourning something that I never really had. Mourning the fact that I will never really have.
But, I get up everyday and go to work. That helps. It helps to be around Jerry and Mary and even annoying Eric, too. They remind me that life is good and that life goes on. Life might not be fair but that doesn't mean I can just stop living. Jerry tells bad jokes that make me laugh and feel a little bit better about the world around me. Mary gives me works to distract me from my problems and thoughts. And Eric bugs me to no end about things that I don't want or need to know about, giving me something else to think about that isn't Santana.
Getting up everyday and going to work really helps.
I go into the restaurant for lunch one afternoon. I look around as soon as I push open the door. No Santana. At least I don't see her. She could be in the kitchen. I go over to the counter and sit down. Janet comes over with a smile on her face.
"It's good to see you today, Britt." Janet says and sets down a menu on the counter in front of me.
"Is Santana here?" I ask right away. I really want to see her. It's been a number of days since I've seen her, almost a week. I want to see her even though I am trying to put some distance between us. Even though I am trying to get over the thought of her and I together. It's hard. I want to be her friend but I am trying to push past this crush that I have on her.
"She's not."
"Oh." I nod and stare down at the menu on the counter. Disappointed.
"But, she's been asking about you." Janet says to my surprise.
"Really?" I look up at her, a smile twitching at the corners of my lips.
"Actually, girl won't stop talking about you." She smirks around her words.
I lean closer to her, pushing my stomach into the edge of the counter. "What did she say? What did you tell her?"
Janet shrugs. "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Please, I'll do anything. Just tell me what you told her." I beg.
Janet shrugs again. "I just told her that I haven't seen you in here. Then she started asking me questions."
Questions. What kind of questions? "Like what?"
"Like where you lived. Where your work was located. If you come in here to eat a lot. What the most likely day would be that you would come in. That sort of stuff. But, I'm a little confused. Did something happen between you two? Cuz one week you are mad crushing on her and the next day I am playing a round of twenty questions all about you."
"Yeah." I sigh and slump in my seat.
"Well?" Janet prompts.
"Well, I kind told her I needed some time to myself and that we shouldn't hang out for awhile." Janet wrinkles up her face and I can see the confusion there. I have to look away from her. "She has a boyfriend."
"Oh." Janet breathes. "I'm sorry, Britt."
"It's okay. I want to be her friend but I just can't right now. I just hope that she still wants to be my friend. Ya know, after awhile, a few weeks maybe. But, maybe not, the summer will be almost half over for her and then she goes back to college. Maybe she doesn't want to bother anymore. I don't know. I'm just so confused."
"Britt?"
I look back to Janet. "What?"
"I think the fact that she was/is asking about you means that she is still interested in being your friend. I wouldn't be too worried about it, if I were you. Think positively."
"How is she? By the way. How does she seem?" I can't help but ask. I need to know that she is good. I need to know that she is happy and having fun and enjoying her summer.
"She seems good to me. I don't know the girl very well but all seems well with her." I nod at the information Janet has just giving me. That's all I can ask for really, that Santana is well and good.
Janet pulls out her notepad. "So, what'll it be?"
"A cup of chili and a grilled cheese sandwich, please."
"Comin' right up." Janet grins and pats my hand.
I hang my head as I say my next words. "Can you not tell Santana about this? You can tell her that I stopped in but don't tell her I asked about her. Okay?"
"Okay." She says and turns towards the kitchen.
The fourth of July is this week. That means that if I work hard and get all my required hours in I only have to work three days. We are a small landscape business and usually I work forty hour weeks. And a lot of the time I work ten to twelve hour days which mean I only have to work four days a week. But, for holidays I get eight hours of holiday pay, so for the week I only have to work thirty-two hours. It's a sweet deal.
I have plans to get to together with some friends for a cook-out on the Fourth. My friend Todd and his wife will be there and Todd's brother and his wife, too. That should be a fun relaxing day. I could definitely use one of those right about now.
Just two more days of work and then the Fourth of July and a four day weekend. Life can't get much better than that. Well…
A big yawn catches me by surprise. I should probably go to bed soon. I grab my phone off the end table to silence it for the night. I look down at the screen to see that I have text message. When did I get that? How did I miss that? Did I fall asleep?
I click to enlarge the messages and see that it is from Santana. I haven't gotten any messages or phone calls from her. The last time I saw her was when I was at the restaurant and told her that we shouldn't hang out for awhile. It's surprises me a little to see the message now. I did tell her to call or text if she needed anything so it's not a total shock but still…
From Santana: My friend Quinn is gonna be in town until Tuesday morning. I still want you to meet her, if you still want to. Let me know.
I read over the text three times before pressing the reply button. I mull over Santana's words for a few minutes before I type anything.
To Santana: I would love to meet your friend Quinn
I erase that and start again. It's too bold.
To Santana: I would definitely like to meet Quinn. I am free all day Friday and Saturday.
I look the text over before I hit send. I remember promising Santana that I would meet her friend. I told her that if it was important to her than I would meet Quinn. And I don't break promises, if I can help it.
Even though I am not ready to see Santana again in a casual, non-work setting it looks like I don't have a choice. It's a bullet that I'll have to bite but I am willing to do it… for her. I'd probably do just about anything for her. If she ask, I would do it, whatever it is.
And that's the problem. She is so amazing that I will do anything for her even if I don't get anything in return. But, I don't care.
I have all these feelings for the woman and I can't seem to get over them. Seeing her again probably won't help with that but that's just something I'm going to have to deal with. She has a boyfriend and I can't have her.
My phone chimes with a new text message. I look down at the device that rests nervously in my right hand.
From Santana: we can meet on Saturday for lunch at the diner if that works for you
It does work for me.
To Santana: That works. See ya then.
I type out the message and wait a few seconds to see if Santana texts back again. She does text back.
From Santana: :)
A smiley face. An actual smiley face. What does that mean? That she is excited about meeting? That she is excited for me to meet her friend? That she is happy that I agreed to meet? Or is it just a casual smiley face just because.
I guess I won't know unless I ask. And I'm not gonna ask. I smile bitterly down at the screen before exiting the message and silencing my phone. I shut the tv and the lights off and head to bed with the thoughts of the beautiful Latina in my mind.
Eric's busy with a stone walkway and doesn't need my help, that means I will be working at the nursery with Jerry and Sara today. I have no idea what we are gonna do but probably something interesting knowing Jerry.
I pull into the driveway of the parking lot at the nursery and see Jerry walking from his shop towards the soil pile. I hop out of the truck and grab my bottle of sunscreen from underneath the seat. I put sunscreen on my nose, and ears, and the back of my neck. I put sunscreen on everyday in the summer so it doesn't get burnt to badly. When you spend all day out in the sun it doesn't take more than a few minutes to do damage.
Once I have that done I go over to where Jerry is. He's repotting a thirty-two size tray on plants into larger pots so they can grow bigger. "Good morning." I say as I approach.
"Is it?" He asks.
It's a good question. I don't know if it's a good morning. I hope it is but I'm not sure. If we are going on a personal level it's an okay morning. After my little text convo with Santana last night I feel a little better. I still have the same problems but I feel a little better about them like everything will work itself out in the end, somehow. If we are going on a work level then it depends on what sort of job Jerry puts me to depend on if it's a good morning or not. And if we are going on a weather level it's an okay morning. It's still fairly cool out but it's suppose to be in the lower eighties this afternoon and humid.
"I don't know." I tell him.
He grunts this little half-laughs, half-grunt that he has. Jerry finishes the plant he is working on and finally looks up from his work. "So, what's on your mind?" It's his question. And after working with the man for a few years and getting asked that question many times I'm still not exactly sure what he means by it.
"I don't know." I say again.
"Well, what about Mary?" He asks.
I talk to Mary every morning before work to see where she wants me to go first. Most of the time the answer is the nursery but sometimes I go right to a job. "She just said to come here and find you."
"Okay. Well, I started watering as soon as I got out here and Sara took over when she got here. You can help me with this and then I will start you on another project." He explains. The man is a go getter, once he's up and has his breakfast it's time to work.
"Okay." I nod and start repotting plants right next to Jerry.
It doesn't take long to finish with the initial repotting but then Jerry gives me more plants to repot. Three different groups that are in pots that will be too small for them in a few days or weeks. A group of seventeen daylilies. Then a group of about a dozen asters and a group of grasses. It takes awhile to get through them all. I have to pull the plants out of their designated spots, load them into a wagon, wheel them over to the soil pile, unload them, repot them into bigger pots, then load them into the wagon, water them into their new pots, and put them back where they came from. It's a process.
By the time I get done Sara is just wrapping up the watering. I find Jerry again and ask him what I should do next.
"Once Sara is finished watering, we are gonna go out to Mary's land and weed the pumpkin field and the vegetable garden and then water everything."
"Okay."
"For now you can put the pots away in the pot room."
"Okay."
"I'm gonna go check on Sara and then get my drink."
"Okay." I say one last time.
Jerry leaves in one direction and I go in the other. My destination is the pot room. It's not as it sounds. It's really a room that's full from floor to ceiling with round plastic plant pots. It's not a room where we grow weed.
Secretly I hate putting pots away. There are so many different sizes and none of the sizes seem to fit with any of the others. I don't know how there can be so many different sized pots. There should be a pot organization where they set the rules and regulations on pot sizes. It's very frustration trying to stack pot when none of them fit together. I have to stack them inside each other and if one doesn't fit it screw up the whole stack. Plus, Jerry is a stickler when it comes to stacking pots. I've been scolded a number of times for putting pots in the wrong stack.
Thankfully, it's only about ten minutes before Sara comes by to tell me that we are leaving for Mary's.
Speaking of Mary I have no idea where she is today. Probably a meeting with a client.
I set the pot down that I was trying to find a place for and leave the pot room. I go to my truck and get my water bottle and meet Sara and Jerry at his truck. He has a two-door Chevy Silverado, similar to my truck but his is older. Jerry gets in the driver's seat and Sara is already in, sitting in the middle. I slide in and shut the door.
"Ready?" Jerry asks. Sara nods.
"Yep." I voice.
With the three of us sitting shoulder to shoulder to shoulder Jerry backs out of his parking space and away we go. It's a tight fit but we are all used to it. Nice and cozy.
We drive the ten minutes to Mary's land. Jerry drives down the gravel driveway thru the woods. We get to a bend in the driveway and Jerry turns his left turn signal on. I try not to laugh but I can't help it when a little chuckle comes out.
"That's so the deer know which way he's going." Sara says and I laugh even harder.
"Hey. Just letting 'em know." Jerry says trying to cover.
"Okay." I say through my laugh.
Aside from Jerry using his turn signal in the woods we make down to the vegetable garden without further incident.
"You two start on the pumpkins. I'm gonna go check on my deer stand. Open the windows so it doesn't get to hot in there." Jerry instructs. A couple of years ago we helped him build this deer stand. It's very well put together. Mary jokes that it's The Taj Mahal of deer stands. It's very nice for a deer stand with walls, a roof, a door, stairs, and even windows.
He starts walking away and Sara and I both grab our weeding tools and head over to the pumpkin field. It's a rather larger area. I don't know the actual size but it will take over an hour to weed the whole area. It's a big area that sits across the trail from the vegetable garden. The best part is that the pumpkin plants are still small yet and we can weed without stepping on the vines and are able to go through the area faster- less vines in the way. Later in the summer it takes a lot longer to weed the area with the vines covering most of the ground.
With weeding and water it doesn't look like my day will be too physically tiring. An easy day.
Santana's POV
My day starts with a text from Quinn saying that she was leaving her house in Ohio. She's driving here and I'm just sitting around the house waiting for Quinn to arrive. She said she had to make one stop before she left Lima and after that she would be on the road. It's roughly an eight hour journey so that kills most of the day. When she gets here it will be late afternoon.
I got another text from Quinn at lunchtime saying that her ETA was four hours which would be about four-thirty. But, she also added that there would be a little problem when she arrived.
I text her back worried about this 'problem' but I never got a text in return. I know she is driving and that's why. Quinn doesn't text and drive and doesn't even talk on the phone and drive. So, I guess I have to wait until she gets here to find out what this 'problem' is.
I startle awake when I hear a noise. It rings again and I recognize it as the doorbell. I was watching some cooking program on the Food Network and must have fallen asleep. I wipe the sleep from my eyes with my fists. The doorbell rings again.
"Hold on. I'm coming." I yell hoarsely.
I get up and stretch my arm up above my head and stretch my back out. I take a step and then another and then walk to the front door. I look at the watch on my wrist to check the time. 4:23. I can only assume that it's Quinn that's at the front door. It makes the most sense.
I pull the front door open to see Quinn standing there and as soon as my eyes see her they see something behind Quinn. Someone rather.
Puck.
I stand in the doorway and address the man standing behind Quinn and slightly off to the side. "What the fuck Puck?" I fold my arms over my chest. What does he think he's doing here?
"I'm sorry, Santana." Quinn says standing directly in front of me.
"I've come to convince you to stay with me. To give me a second chance. To show you that we are suppose to be together." Puck says talking a step forward towards the door.
I roll my eyes and shut the door in both of their faces. I go back into the living room and resume my spot on the couch and continue watching my show. I really don't want to deal with either of them right now. Quinn because she is my friend and is suppose to have my back and she bring Puck with her. She didn't even bother to tell me that he was with her. Sometime during her eight hour drive she could have stopped and called me to, at the very least, warn me that she was bringing Puck with her.
And Puck, well, I just don't want to see him right now. I don't want to have anything to do with him. I broke up with him for a reason and part of that reason is because I don't want to be around him or have to put up with his crap. I don't want him to try and convince me to take him back or whatever it is that he thinks he's gonna do. It's not gonna work.
The doorbell rings a couple of times before the banging starts. The pounding of fists on the front door interrupt my show but I just turn up the volume to try and drown out the sound.
Eventually, the banging on the front door stops and it's quiet. Maybe too quiet. I mute the tv and listen to hear something, anything. About half a minute passes before I hear something. The sliding of the back patio door as it slides open. I know I should have locked that.
I don't bother getting up now that I know they're in the house. I still don't want to speak with either of them.
"There you are." Quinn's voice carries through the room. "Santana, I'm sorry. Listen, I can explain. I stopped for coffee before I left town and Puck was in the coffee shop. He asked me what I was up to and I let it slip that I was coming to visit you. He insisted on coming with."
I stop and turn to look at her. She's not looking at me though. Instead, Quinn is staring at her shoes. I raise an eyebrow and wait for more. There has to be more to this little story.
"I asked him what about work. Puck said that Burt would give him the week off. Then I asked him what he was going to wear. He just said that he would buy something when he got here. He didn't really give me a choice Santana. He got in the passenger seat of my car and I couldn't do anything about it aside from calling the police. And I didn't think this was really a police matter. I'm sorry."
Quinn finally looks up when she is finished. I stare hard at her and she looks back at me with the most sorry expression on her face. A tiny part of me feels bad for her but the larger part of me is mad at her.
Just then something moves behind her. Puck. He is carrying Quinn's two bags with him as he enters the room. "Where should I put these?" He asks with a charming little grin.
I roll my eyes. Incredible. I nearly jump from the couch. I storm passed them and stomp up the stairs to my room. When I get there I slam the door as hard as I can in case they didn't know I was mad.
I flop down face first on the bed and let out a very frustrated sigh. Just when I think things couldn't get any worse Quinn shows up with Puck. How am I suppose to have a good Fourth of July with that fool of a guy here? My family will be back tomorrow too. Even better. At least Roberto can see how Puck is doing for himself without me having to talk about him.
There is a light knock on my bedroom door and I think that it Quinn coming to apologize again. But, I'm sorely wrong.
"Santana, come out and just talk to me." Puck says through the door. "I just came here to talk things over so that we can get back together. You won't take any of my phone calls. I don't understand. I don't really know why you broke up with me. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it and we can go back to normal."
He sounds so small and insecure. Like a little kid who is apologizing for things that he didn't know he did, but knows he did something wrong to warrant any apology.
I kinda feel bad for the guy cuz he didn't do anything wrong specifically. It's just that he is wrong for me. I've outgrown him after all these years. When we got together we were just young, immature kids. Now, well, now I don't know. We aren't young immature kids anymore and I don't think we fit together very well anymore. There are a lot of things that I could say about Puck and I that aren't working anymore, really.
I listen to everything he has to say but the thing is- I don't want him back. Not even a little bit.
I sit and listen as he whines at my door some more. About the good old times and all the fun that we had together. Puck pulls just about everything he can think of out of his back pocket to throw at me in the hopes that it will convince me to get back together with him.
It makes me a little sad because even though I don't feel sad about breaking up with Puck I know that he is sad. I know that his heart is probably broken from what I've done. He's a good man but he's just not a good enough man. He's not a good man for me. I'm going to have to tell him why I broke up with him and that I don't want him back and it will break his heart all over against.
I need to stop his rambling so I get up, with tears in my own eyes, and open the door. "Come in." I say quietly. I go back over and sit on the edge of the bed and he follows me and sit right next to me.
"Santana, I'm sorry for whatever I did I'm-"
I cut him off. "Stop." I hold a hand up in the air. I can't let him continue. Here it goes. "I don't want you back. You didn't do anything wrong, per se, but I don't want you back. I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. It's just not right for me anymore. It's just not working for me. I know this might sound harsh but it's the truth and I want to be as truthful with you as possible right now."
A wetness runs down my cheek and I wipe at it with the back of my hand. I don't know why I am crying right now but can't seem to help it.
Puck wraps an arm around my shoulder when he sees that I am crying. "Why are you crying, did I do something wrong?" He asks in that small, childlike voice.
I shake my head. "No."
"Then what?" He asks.
I take a deep breath. "There's someone else."
Puck stiffens at me side. "Who?"
I don't tell him. I can't tell him.
We sit there in silence. Me fiddling nervously with my hands in my lap and Puck with his arm around me. The tears keep falling from my eyes for a while but as time passes without a word between us they slowly start to fade until they stop completely.
After I've stopped crying Puck stands up and leaves the room without a word. I take a deep breath, as he closes the door behind him, and exhale in relief.
After a few minutes of just sitting on my bed collecting myself I push myself off the bed. I need to find Quinn but first my eyes are all itchy and I need to wash my face.
I make a stop at the bathroom and wash my face in the sink and then go down the stairs in search of Quinn. The house is quiet, too quiet, eerily quiet. I get to the bottom of the stairs and look around. There's no one in sight. No Quinn. No Puck. No one is in the living room or the kitchen.
So, I walk down the hallway to the guest bedroom assuming that's where Quinn is. The door is closed so someone's in there. Either, Puck or Quinn. Maybe both. I knock on the door.
A muffled 'come in' floats through the door. It's Quinn.
I push the door open and step into the room slowly. Quinn has her two bags up on the bed and is unpacking them. I look around the room, she appears to be alone.
"Where's Puck?" I ask before I can stop myself.
Quinn looks up from her work for the first time and shrugs. "I don't know. I thought you would know. He was with you wasn't he?"
Right. She must have figured out that Puck came up to my room or she saw him do so. Well, he's not the one I came to see right now. I'm here to see Quinn.
"Q, I'm sorry." I start off right away. "I understand how Puck is sometimes. He just inserts himself in a situation and there's really nothing you can do about it. I get that, with him just getting in your car and deciding to come with you, spur of the moment. I'm not making excuses for him, that's just how he is."
"I know." Quinn mumbles.
"I thought maybe he came down here to talk with you but I guess not. I just talked with him and I don't know where he is right now. Knowing Puck, though, he probably wants to be alone. So, I'm not gonna go find him. Plus, I was looking for you. I want to explain everything." I twiddle my thumbs nervously in front of me.
"Okay." Quinn sighs and takes a seat on the bed next to her bag of clothes. "Tell me." She pats the spot next to her and it brings a smile to my face. Quinn knows me too well. She knows that I was going to need to talk to her about this after squaring things away with Puck.
I sit down next to her and fold my hands in my lap. I take a deep breath and begin. "I just talked to Puck. I basically had to break up with him again. I told him that I didn't want to be with him. I told him that there was someone else."
Quinn perks up at that. "What did he say?"
I shrug. "Not much. He asked who? But- I couldn't tell him. He was sad but I think he understands. At least, I hope he does."
Quinn hums out a note, letting me know that she listening and taking in what I'm saying. It's quiet after that. I'm not sure what else I should do or say. I came in here to tell Quinn what I had to and know I don't know if she is going to say something back or just sit there without responding.
"Okay." Quinn stands up from the bed. I watch as she grabs a shirt out of her suitcase and goes over to the dresser. With her back to me Quinn opens the second drawer and sets the shirt inside. "Well, I guess you are all set to get together with your girl now."
"She's not my girl." I sigh.
Quinn spins on her heels. "Huh?" Her arms fold over her chest and she raises an eyebrow.
I shrug. "Ya know how I told you that Brittany thought we shouldn't hang out cuz I have a boyfriend."
"Yeah."
"Well, I haven't seen or talked to her since she came in the diner and told me that."
"Oh." Quinn's arms fall to her sides. She takes one step, then another, and another until she is at the bed again. She sits down next to me again and put a hand on my thigh. "Are you going to tell her that you broke up with Puck?"
"I want to."
"What's stopping you?" Quinn rubs her thumb back and forth over the fabric of my shorts.
"I don't know how. I mean, come on, how am I suppose to tell Brittany that I just broke up with my boyfriend for her. Especially when she doesn't want to be around me. I'm stuck."
Quinn nods along with my words. "So, I don't get to meet her while I'm here." She says.
"No. You do. I texted her the other day and told her you were coming. We are meeting her Saturday for lunch at the diner."
"Oh. Okay. So, you'll get to see her then. Just tell her on Saturday." Quinn shrugs as if it's the easiest thing in the world.
"Right. I'll just slip it into the conversation. Like, oh, hey, Brittany. How have you been? I broke up with my boyfriend. What have you been up to?" I mock. "Like it's that easy. It's a major decision, a major event in my life, and I need to find out a good way to tell her. I can't just blurt it out."
"Why not?" Quinn asks.
"Because Quinn, I have to do this right." I tell her. "I have to- I just have to."
"Okay, well, I'm glad that I get to meet her. I'm excited." She pats my leg and then stands up again. Quinn returns to unpacking her suitcase. "I'm gonna finish unpacking and then we can have supper. What are we having?"
"I don't know. We can make something or go out to eat. It's up to you, you're my guest."
"What about Puck?"
My whole body stills at Quinn's question. What about Puck? I have no clue where he is or if he's gonna be around for supper. I don't even know if he plans on staying the whole time Quinn is here or if he is going to get a flight or bus back to Ohio. He probably doesn't know. But- Puck isn't my problem anymore.
"I don't know. He can do whatever he wants, I guess." I stand up. "I'll be in the living room when you're done."
"Okay. See ya in a few." Quinn nods and I turn to the bedroom door and make my exit.
It's gonna be an interesting few days. I can tell already. I can feel it. I don't know what's going to happen or how things will turn out but I am prepared for a wild ride.