A/N: Okay, I felt like I didn't need to say this before now, but given the nature of this story and genre, logic isn't all that important. Yes, I realize how smart Beckett usually is, but to make a prank story like this work, the "victims" need to have a small amount of...naivete. But I've still been trying to stay as true to her character as possible. But most of you seem to get that, so thanks for your support. :)

Chapter 5

When Things Get Messy

Beckett wasn't all that surprised when she reached the doors, tried to open them and was met with the resistance that signified them being locked. She sighed deeply. Her next order of business was glaring intensely through the glass panes at Brad and Sean, both of whom were smiling at her with smug satisfaction.

"Let me in!" Beckett barked.

"Since you're so good at getting into places where you're not welcome," Brad replied evenly, "why don't you figure out a way to let yourself in!"

The boys laughed and raced off to somewhere inside the house, leaving Beckett alone on the patio. Her anger bubbled up inside her for a few moments before it was released by way of Beckett screaming in frustration and pounding her dirty hands on the doors, leaving behind residue. She spent a short while just standing there, gazing heatedly into the house and weighing her options. At last, Beckett decided to play along with Brad and Sean's little "game" and find an alternate entrance.

She stepped back a few feet and looked around the back exterior of the house. Her Detective reasoning told Beckett that it was most likely that the kids would have locked any windows on ground level on this side, to make it more of a challenge, so that idea was off the table. And even if the second-floor windows were unlocked, another quick scan of the backyard showed Beckett that there was nothing she could possibly use to get herself up that high. The outer terraces of the windows didn't look wide enough to support climbing, either. That meant that Beckett's best alternative was going around to the front.

At this point, she cared more about regaining control of the household than she did any sense of dignity, so Beckett knew she had to make her way around the house. The only issue there was that she herself had already locked the gate in the fence that allowed access to the front yard from where she was. But it wasn't like she hadn't scaled a fence before.

Beckett let determination fill her up and went back down into the yard. She walked towards the gate, a door built into the wooden fence, and regarded the white chalk "X" along with the pool of baked beans with disdain as she passed them. The glance also served to make Beckett more alert for anything that Brad and Sean may have left behind in their wake. Such as the line of string that was tied around the base of the nearby tree and stretched across Beckett's path, ending at one of the patio's supporting legs. If she hadn't noticed it, then it would've been quite the effective little trap.

"Nice try," remarked Beckett triumphantly, "but it's not going to be that easy anymore."

She took a giant step over the string and turned around in the process so that she could look back on the trap with a sense of accomplishment.

But Beckett soon found out that her success was to only be short-lived.

There may have been nothing to properly hide the string meant to trip her up, but Beckett realized then just what sort of clever masterminds of mischief she was up against. A few steps further along the walkway, there was a portion obstructed by thick and low-hanging branches of trees planted in the Downeys' garden. To anyone like Beckett who happened to travel along the walkway, that meant their view of that stretch of walking space was all but invisible. So when Beckett's left foot touched down on the top of the skateboard from earlier, she was obviously taken aback.

"Whoa! "WHOA!"

Beckett flailed her arms wildly after the movement of the skateboard's wheels led to a momentum which propelled the object forward down the remainder of the walkway with Beckett in tow. During the roll, Beckett's right foot landed on the skateboard, causing her to be turned at an angle as the distance closed between her and the fence. She tried to brace herself, but the eventual impact she made was enough to throw Beckett back into the grass on her back. As she lay there, Beckett couldn't help but think all that was missing from the sight were a cartoon bubble that said CRASH! the minute she had hit the fence and a circle of animated birds chasing each other over her head while she lay there regaining her bearings.

She eventually sat up, rubbing her forehead, which was thick with baked bean sauce, and grunted. "What's with me today?" Beckett wondered aloud.

Despite that little "speed bump", Beckett was nonetheless where she wanted to be. She quickly looked around for her phone, which had been dropped, and discovered it leaning against the base of the fence in front of her. Beckett leaned over, scooped it up and hauled herself to her feet, where she then sized up the fence..

It appeared to be no taller than the ones she'd hopped over in the past while chasing down a fleeing suspect, so Beckett reasoned she could scale it without breaking a sweat. Her first task was to set her phone safely down in the jutting-out edge near the top so she could have both hands free. After she did that, Beckett reached up and grabbed hold of the fence's tips while angling her foot against the bottom. She let out a single, slow breath before she pulled her entire body up while turning in midair so that she could rest her bottom on the thin top; each of her legs now hung over opposite sides of the fence while she remained perched precariously between the backyard and the side-yard.

Glancing down to the other side of the fence, the first - and main - thing Beckett saw was a second kiddie pool, this one green instead of blue. But similar to the one Brad and Sean had used for the backyard antics, this pool was filled with something that wasn't water. From the color and consistency, Beckett could make out that the new booby trap substance was tomato sauce. It seemed all the time she'd spent out cold on the couch had afforded the boys quite the opportunity to set up a lot of traps.

She rolled her eyes while still marveling slightly at it. "Where did they get all this stuff?"

Beckett sighed and carefully leaned forward just enough so that she could reach out and grab her phone from its resting place. As a detective, she had to account for many probabilities in any given situation, but being covered in baked beans as a result of a prank wasn't a situation Beckett had found herself in before now. So the fact that the sloppy food covering her made keeping her balance on top of the fence more difficult due to slippery-ness genuinely didn't occur to Beckett at first. But it did when she slid involuntarily over the side and down into the awaiting pool of tomato sauce, phone in hand.

She landed in the tomato sauce with a plop, followed by a groan. Beckett rolled over onto her back, red now mixing with brown, but not making much of a difference in texture except for adding to it. But at least the sauce's smell was a bit more tolerable than that of the baked beans.

"This is ridiculous!" Beckett seethed before sitting up. She flecked some residual sauce off of her fingers and got to her feet. Miraculously, her phone had managed to avoid getting messy this entire time, something which Beckett could at least take a little solace in. But she had to make sure to keep it held out away enough from her so as not to drip too much on it.

Beckett stayed close to the side of the house as she made her way around to the front. To her left were two more windows, both providing views into the den of the Downey house, and even though her rational thoughts told her otherwise, Beckett couldn't resist quickly trying to slide them up. Of course, they didn't budge. And as she gazed inside with a mixture of anger and desperation, Beckett spotted Brad and Sean laughing and waving at her.

"Why don't you just come to the front door, Stupid-Butt?" Sean asked pointedly. "I mean, duh!"

Rather than offer a venomous retort, Beckett simply huffed and continued her way around the house. When she reached the front yard, she hung back by the corner and peered around the edge to see if there were any obvious signs of booby traps. From what Beckett could tell, there was nothing lying in wait for her. In fact, the front yard was practically free of anything; no kiddie pools, no skateboards and no scattered toys. All that was left was to find a way back in.

Of course, that entailed going fully out into the open, where any curious neighbors' eyes would no doubt find Beckett in her current sloppy fashion sense, but now was no time to be vain. Now was the time to take charge.

She stepped out in full view of any passing cars or neighbors, but still kept close to the house. After a few paces, Beckett found herself directly by one of the front windows. Not that she was expecting anything different from her previous effort, but she nonetheless attempted to push the window up; again, to no avail.

"That won't work, Stupid-Butt!"

The voice came from above Beckett, and she reflexively looked there. Brad and Sean were leaning out the second floor window immediately above the one Beckett was unsuccessfully trying to get through and smiling those unsettling mischievous smiles. Perched on the window ledge between them was a large white bucket that looked like one a janitor would use. The contents of the bucket, though, were dark.

"And as a penalty for your mistake," said Brad with glee, "you must suffer the consequence!"

Beckett reflexively took a step back, but it was too late. Brad and Sean had already tipped the bucket over and showered their victim with what was inside. Said contents turned out to be chocolate pudding, which cascaded all over Beckett and congealed with the first two layers of mess on her. She had closed her eyes the instant the pudding came in contact with her, and when she re-opened them, Beckett saw Brad and Sean clicking away yet again with their camera phones.

"What's with all the pictures?!" she yelled up at them.

"That's for us to know ..." Brad began.

"And you to find out!" Sean completed.

All Beckett could do was let out another frustrated grunt.

"If you want in so bad," stated Brad with a tone of helpfulness to his voice, "why don't you just try the doorbell?" He and his brother chuckled heartily as they leaned back into the house and shut the upper window.

Yeah right, Beckett's inner voice snorted. Knowing them, they probably electrified it or something. But as a few minutes went by and Beckett kept standing there, letting the baked beans and tomato sauce and chocolate pudding morph into the ickiest second skin imaginable, she honestly couldn't see any other alternative to getting back into the house other than the front door. Do I even dare, though? Surely, Brad and Sean had sabotaged it in some way ... but did Beckett see any secret entrances into the house? No, of course not.

So she gritted her teeth and trudged over to the front steps, stomping up them with as much force as possible and coming to a stop at the main entrance. Beckett spent a few minutes in silent contemplation, trying to figure out all the various ways the boys could have sabotaged the door. She eventually let her hand cautiously grab the knob, half-expecting it to be searing hot. But it was as normal as any other locked doorknob. Beckett's eyes then settled on the doorbell. A bit of inner deliberation led Beckett to retrieve a twig from the yard and use it to push the small button. The only thing that happened as a result was the buzzing sound that came with every other doorbell.

"Coming, just a minute!" rang out the cheerfully casual voice of Brad from behind the door.

Beckett dropped the twig and waited in silent anger as she heard shuffling footsteps approach from the opposite side of the door. A few seconds later, it opened, revealing Brad and Sean. Their faces lit up in fake surprise.

"Stupid-Butt!" Sean declared in the same way as a person greeting a long-lost friend. "So good to see you again!"

"When did you get here? And whatever are you doing covered in all that gunk?" Brad's tone was similar to that of a concerned parent.

Instead of playing along, Beckett stormed inside and slammed the door before the boys could do anything about it. She whirled around and advanced upon them with a fiery expression that would have been scarier if she hadn't looked a right mess. Beckett didn't stop until Brad and Sean's backs had been pushed up against the wall underneath the staircase.

"Let's get this straightened out RIGHT NOW!" Beckett spat while jabbing a brown-red finger at the boys. "You think I'm a robber who talked her way into your house. Well, you're DEAD WRONG! I'm the FARTHEST thing from a robber there is! And it so happens that your mother gave me permission to use the safe!" Beckett had chosen her words carefully enough so that everything she said, no matter how vague, was the truth.

Brad and Sean had gone from looking triumphant to terrified in the time it took Beckett to vent her anger. They weren't so scared because of the look she was giving them, which could have melted all the goop off of her person, it was more that they were taken aback by the sudden outburst, almost as if that had been the very last reaction they expected her to have. They just stood there staring at Beckett as drops of the three coatings of muck accumulated at her feet. Finally, Brad was able to work up enough courage to speak again.

"Alright ... prove it."

"What?" Beckett straightened up. "I don't have to prove anything to you!"

"Actually, you kind of do," said Brad as he glanced at Sean. "Tell you what, we'll make you a deal. What did Mom say you could use the safe for?"

"My ... purse," replied Beckett, saying the first thing that came to mind and saying it in the most convincing tone she could muster. "I have some very valuable things in there." Seriously? You're lying to them NOW, of all times?

"Okay. Well, if your purse really is in the safe like you say, then all you have to do is open it and show us. Once we see it, then we'll stop with the pranks and we'll even clean up all the mess we made. Plus, we'll take whatever punishment you give us. Seems fair, right, Kate?"

Beckett nodded. "Deal," she bluffed. Oh, crap! The ONE time a purse would've come in handy!

"Well, go on," prompted Sean. "Show us."

Beckett turned around and headed towards the safe behind the painting with a slight knot in her stomach when a thought suddenly occurred to her. Wait, a badge is much better proof than a purse! And seeing that they had pulled all these pranks on a cop might just set Brad and Sean straight even further. But then Beckett remembered just one small detail.

She wasn't supposed to reveal her true identity, no matter the circumstances. Even if it sounded foolish, Beckett was someone determined to do her job right, and if that meant taking pranks for the team, so be it, as much as it annoyed her.

Damn it!

This came to mind after the painting had been removed and the safe revealed, leaving Beckett to improvise once the combination had been entered. In the same motion she opened the safe, she used her other arm to push aside and thus conceal her gun and badge from view. Reluctantly, Beckett moved to let the boys see, and those smug looks of theirs quickly returned to their faces.

"So ..." Brad began while smiling, "the money and everything is still there ... but no purse. This might not prove for sure that you're not a robber, but it does prove that you're a liar! And that's just as bad!"

"Oh, I just thought of another nickname for her, then!" Sean exclaimed in delight. He paused to relish the moment, and Beckett could just sense what was coming. "Liar-Butt!"

Beckett closed her eyes in an attempt to help keep herself calm, but it was made a challenge to do so when Sean broke out into a chant of "Liar-Butt! Liar-Butt! Liar-Butt!" She chose to finally channel her anger through slamming the safe door shut.

I should get a medal for this! she thought resentfully. "Call me whatever you want, but I'm going to take a shower! Don't think this changes anything!"

"Pssh, it doesn't!" Brad fired back. And with that, he and Sean ran off upstairs.

This left Beckett alone, and she wasted no time in beginning her quest to get clean. She stormed over to the downstairs bathroom, where her first order of business was to search for a bathrobe her size. Fortunately, she found a dark red one that satisfied that desire and she held it carefully between two fingers on her way to the laundry room. Beckett hurriedly stripped off her mucky clothes and placed them, along with a considerable amount of cleaning fluid, into the washer and activated the machine. On her way back, Beckett turned the bathrobe into a shield in front of her underwear-clad body. Her undergarments had luckily avoided getting too dirty, but even if they had, going commando around Brad and Sean was a complete non-option.

Back in the bathroom, after the door had been locked, Beckett was able to locate a blow-drier which she left on the sink counter beside her phone before filling the sink with soapy water. Beckett stripped off her underwear and placed them in the sink to soak out what gunk had gotten on them. At long last, it was time for her to step in the shower, a task which she took immense relief in. Beckett let herself get lost in the relaxing feel of the warm downpour and the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. As she stood there, the various foods washing off of her and swirling down into the drain, Beckett realized she'd need to tell Castle not to go blabbing about today to anyone else Ryan, Esposito or Lanie.

She scrubbed away at her skin until not only when it started to feel raw, but also when the water began to turn cold. Beckett deemed herself squeaky clean at that point, turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The bathroom was shrouded in a curtain of steam, a curtain which Beckett pushed through to get to the mirror. She wrapped a towel around herself and plucked her underwear out of the sink. All traces of goop had vanished from them, so Beckett plugged in the blow-drier and went to work drying those first.

It took a few minutes, but soon enough, the underwear was both clean and dry again. Beckett quickly used the towel to dry herself off before slipping her undergarments back on. Next, she took a quick moment to check and see if any calls had come in while she'd been washing off. Beckett was thankful to see no missed calls or voicemail.

Before stepping into the shower, Beckett had placed the bathrobe she had been using on one of the hooks hanging on the back of the door, and when she turned to reclaim it, she froze. Not because the hook was empty, but because the hook now contained something different. Upon first glance, Beckett could tell that it was most definitely a bathrobe, but she could also tell that it was a few sizes smaller than the one she'd left in that spot. And unlike the dark red color of the first, this bathrobe was bright orange, the kind of orange Beckett could compare to a prison jumpsuit.

"No, they couldn't have ..." Beckett breathed to herself as she scurried to the door and pushed down on the handle.

She expected it not to budge, but instead, the handle went down all the way and allowed Beckett to crack the door open.

"Criminals in the making," Beckett growled.

So Brad and Sean had somehow picked the lock, nabbed the bathrobe Beckett had picked out and replaced it with one of their own. Given how this bathrobe looked so much smaller than the other, it wasn't hard to see the purpose behind their little switch, though.

For the next few minutes, Beckett just stood staring in contemplative silence at the orange bathrobe. At first, she considered refusing to go along and just walk around in her underwear until her clothes were ready, but that was even more stupid than wearing nothing at all, she concluded. Brad and Sean had already gotten one too many looks at Beckett's underwear anyway, so she could suck it up and still be authoritative in a small orange bathrobe.

Just how small it was Beckett discovered after she put it on. The sleeves reached past her elbows by less than an inch and only barely reached past her thighs, leaving a good amount of her legs out in the open. Running too fast or bending over too far would be all it took for her underwear bottoms to be back out where Brad and Sean could see. On the left shoulder of the bathrobe, though, were five letters written in black: 00001. It only furthered the comparison to a prison jumpsuit, the "slutty" kind of prison jumpsuit if she was being truthful. Beckett sighed at her appearance, but got even more upset when she turned around and noticed something the kids had done to the back.

In the area right over Beckett's butt were two words written in black permanent marker, and she honestly wasn't all too surprised at what they said: "STUPID BUTT."

"Screw any Mob threats," Beckett snarled, clenching her hands into fists, "these kids now need protection from me!"

She wrenched the bathroom door back the rest of the way, not even bothering to dry her hair. But before she blindly stepped out into the hallway, Beckett hung back a moment in case any buckets placed overhead released anything unpleasant. None came, so Beckett loosened her shoulders and angrily exited the bathroom.

While there may not have been anything like pre-placed buckets awaiting her, Beckett soon discovered that clearly wasn't the extent of Brad and Sean's devious prank-plotting abilities. She had taken four steps down the hallway and then, suddenly, her bare feet touched on part of the hardwood floor that was much more slippery than the rest.

"WHOA! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAA!"

The instant Beckett came into contact with the slippery floor, she was sent forward involuntarily down the remainder of the hallway, feet still planted firmly on the floor. The only thing Beckett was doing voluntarily was flailing her arms wildly at her sides, trying and failing to stop her progress.

She didn't stop until her legs were knocked out from underneath her by the back of the living room couch. Given her momentum by that point, Beckett was sent toppling over so that her top half flopped and crashed down into the cushions of the couch, which left her bottom half hanging over the back and her butt sticking up in the air. From the light breeze down below, Beckett could surmise that the bottom of the bathrobe had ridden up enough to expose her underwear yet again.

"Gee, thanks for all the great photos, Stupid-Butt!" Sean's voice popped up from somewhere behind Beckett amidst the small clicks of camera phones.

Beckett got up in a see-saw motion and whirled around to see Brad and Sean, who obviously had been waiting in the living room for her "arrival." "Those will be the LAST photos you take today!" she declared.

"We'll see about that!" Brad shouted.

Forgoing all sense of instinct or logic, Beckett gave in to her white-hot anger and started to chase after the two boys who had caused her so much grief over the past few hours.

Either one or two chapters left now. I'll decide on that for sure once I start writing Chapter 6.