Here comes chapter 8, so far Nick has been with Zoe, Jac, Karen, Ellie and probably most surprisingly Adam.
Where could things go from here?
Chapter 8
The cemetery was full of staff from Holby city hospital all of which were there to attend the funeral of Jac Naylor.
Elliot and Ric stood side by side staring silently ahead, they had both known Jac for some time, and neither could believe what had happened.
They had both been operating on Jac when she arrested on the table.
Their attempts to stop her from bleeding to death had failed.
Nick stood alone a good distance away from the crowds, he felt terrible, he was racked with guilt but he couldn't understand why, her death was nothing to do with him.
"You alright?" came Charlie's voice.
Nick lifted his head and took a deep breath before answering "yeah, yeah im fine, just can't get my head round it"
Charlie nodded his head and patted him on the back "well we better go in" he said with a half smile.
Nick stood and watched as Jac's coffin was carried into the church and her family and friends followed, he didn't want to go in, he didn't even want to be here, he was a private person and wanted to pay his respects when her body was firmly in the ground, when he was alone.
He scratched the back of his head and began to walk around the cemetery, some of these graves were centuries old, he felt a wave of sadness as he read some of the headstones.
'Remember friend, as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon shall be.
Prepare my friend to follow me.
Nick sighed taking in the words of the stone that stood before him, he raised his eyebrow as he re-read the words "very eerie" he muttered as a chill ran down his spine.
He knew that one day he would be lay to rest here, he hated the thought of dying, but now it was something he just had to come to terms with, his time was running out, facing his own mortality was something he had fully accepted a few years back before his operation – the operation he didn't even want to go through with
After the op he eventually managed to pull himself back to reality, it was like nothing had ever happened, but now he had started feeling ill again.
The same symptoms as all those years ago had began to return to his everyday life.
He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared.
'Only those who risk going too far will ever know
how far they can go. We will always remember
just how far our wonderful boy could go'
Were the words of another headstone, Nick bent down to take a closer look "must be someone's son" he thought.
A son was something he really wanted, or a daughter maybe one of each.
Yet in some ways he couldn't help thinking if he did get blessed with such a beautiful thing in his life would it really be fair?
He wouldn't be here to watch them grow up, pick them up when they fell.
He couldn't take them to the park and play football or catch
He could never be there when they bought their first car, their first house, got married even.
He may not even be here long enough to watch them take their first steps.
These thoughts did nothing but depress him.
He walked on letting his mind wonder into the unknown.
Sitting down on a bench he felt a wave of emotion come over him, starting to cry he hugged himself as pain shot through the right side of his head, his vision blurred, sweat soaking into his collar, it was starting again, he had at least three episodes like this every day now.
He knew sooner or later this would result in a collapse, a fit, instant death maybe.
The thoughts frightened him, they upset him deeply, he knew there was nothing the doctors could do for him anymore.
The medication he took everyday was no longer working, he knew what was coming and couldn't prepare himself for it.
"Nick"
He looked up to see Adam coming towards him, it had been two weeks since their liaison in his office, he'd done his very best to avoid Adam and had managed it well.
"What's wrong? Why are you not at the church?" questioned Adam sitting down
Nick looked at him and wondered why he had been avoiding this man, this man cared about him.
"I just needed some time alone" he replied.
"Yeah me too, I had to leave" Adam admitted sounding coy.
Nick sat back and shot him a look rolling his eyes, he placed his hand on Adams knee, he didn't know why he felt so close to him, maybe because this guy had come looking for him, he was about a mile into the graveyard right now and Adam had come for him.
Adam smiled as their fingers entwined "Nick i"
"Adam" interrupted Nick "don't say anything, lets just sit for a bit"
The two of them sat there letting the wind blow through their hair, squeezing each others hands … Adam turned to Nick and they kissed… "Nick I better get back"
Nick nodded and watched Adam walk away.
He was confused and angry for reasons unbeknown to himself.
Standing up he felt dizzy, his head throbbed, sweat poured off him.
He held onto the bench trying to steady himself, it was no good, his legs gave way and he fell to the ground.
He felt his body begin to convulse, saliva began dripping from his mouth, he could see the sky above him turning to a strange shade of red.
He knew he was having a seizer but was still conscious.
All he could do was lay there and let it pass….
Thanks for reading people! Please review or comment!
covblazebabe