Chapter 14

Sorry its been a while people, I just didn't get round to finishing this one! Well until now, this will be the final chapter for this fanfic hope you like it!

Chapter 14 final

The last few months had been an emotional rollercoaster for Nick, he'd loved, he'd lost and he'd done some things he had never dreamed he would ever do.

Having a full blown sexual experience with another man and then a threesome with the man in question and his wife just to name a couple of things.

It had been two weeks since the incident and none of the three of them had mentioned it.

Nick wasn't sure if this was because they regretted it or if it was that they wanted it left as something perfect.

He lay on his bed and let his mind reply the last few months events, smiling to himself he sighed, he had promised himself that he was going to live each day as if it was his last, his health had continued to deteriorate, right now he felt drained, today was a bad day but not just any run of the mill bad day, something was different, he couldn't work out what, all he knew was he felt alone, empty like there was nothing around him except air, the walls of his room appeared see through, it was like he was floating, he certainly didn't feel himself.

"Nick, how are you?" Came a friendly voice, it was Frances, she smiled as she walked to his bedside "that was a nasty fall, you could have been killed" she continued.

Suddenly it all came flooding back…

He saw himself lay helpless at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes were open wide, a fixed glaring gaze spread across his face, he heard voices all around him but was unable to answer, unable to move to give a sign that he was conscious.

He remembered being hurled onto a trolley and rushed into resus, the fear on the faces around him is something that terrified him.

"The stairs" he stammered sounding confused.

"That's right Nick, the stairs, you had a stroke and…"

"What!" Spat Nick fear shooting through him "but i…'

"Nick please try and relax" pleaded Frances taking a seat beside the bed "it was a mini stroke, you were really very lucky" she informed attempting to force a smile.

"Fucking lucky! Lucky? I couldn't win a one horse race at the moment the fucking horse would fall at the first fence"

Frances gave him a warm smile, she loved his humour, to her delight he smiled back.

"You always were the gambling type" she grinned.

Nick nodded and sat up, considering what had happened he didn't feel to bad, taking her hand he grinned from ear to ear and looked up to the heavens above "that the best you can fucking do!" He yelled with a smile.

"That's the spirit" laughed Frances pulling herself up "now rest" she demanded "your memory of the last few weeks seems shady"

Nick gave her a strange look and narrowed his eyes "I remember" he muttered turning his head away.

And he really did remember, he remembered what a selfish idiot he had been, he'd hurt people messed them around, used them you might say and now this was the final chapter, the final chapter of his life, the mini stroke had caused weakness on his left hand side - he had felt such weakness before, and with his condition and his profession, he knew all to well what was to come...

Lay there in that bed so alone, so helpless his eyes scanned the room, he didn't know what he was looking for, his mind began to wonder, what do people think about in their last moments? What do they wish their last words to be? Do they plan what to say? Do people really know when they are going to go?

The answers to these questions were now becoming clear to him, he turned on his side and let the tears fall from his eyes, he was afraid.

Afraid to live and afraid to die.

He reached over to his bedside table and grabbed a photo of his mother, his mother had never been informed of his illness, he had never had the guts to tell her, she was one of the most important women in his life and he couldn't bring himself to tell her.

"Nick"

He turned over and saw Adam walking over to his bedside.

"How's it going?" Asked Adam with a slightly awkward smile.

"You didn't have to come here" sobbed Nick, he was now finding out who his friends really were.

"I wanted to come" grinned Adam placing some grapes down on the bedside table.

Nick rewarded him with a half hearted smile "Adam, I'm scared" he confessed gripping his friends hand firmly "this is it, isn't it, don't lie to me"

Adam squeezed his hand and leaned forward "its not over till the fat lady sings" he whispered trying to sound reassuring "try and sleep".

After what seemed like a lifetime Nick did drop off to sleep allowing Adam to go and talk to Frances, taking a deep breath he knocked upon the office door, he felt like he was in another world, he'd been so worried since Nick's fall, no sleep, hardly eating, the endless shifts in the ED.

Walking into the office governed by Frances his heart skipped a beat.

"Ok Frances tell me the truth, what's going on?" He asked as casually as he could.

Frances turned around awkwardly, she couldn't help but stair at the floor "this is it Adam" she sobbed, she desperately tried not to cry but she couldn't, Adam walked over also trying to stay composed "you stay strong Frances" he said placing his arms around her "you take the good times, I'll take the tears"

This was too much for them, they cradled each other letting the tears fall "we can't tell him what's to come"

The words fell out of Adams mouth, he didn't mean to or want to say it, they both knew this day would have to come "if there's anyone that wishes to see him, they come now" Frances sobbed, she held Adam tightly, in her head she was praying he would say something, do something to make everything ok, but in her heart of hearts she knew the impossible was beyond impossible now, there was only so much they could do now, and that was to make Nick as comfortable as possible, and wait till that moment when he slipped away, they both knew it.

Frances pulled away and took Nicks recent scans in her hands, holding them close to her chest, close to her heart, she handed them over to Adam "this is what we are dealing with" she could barely bring herself to say the words.

Adam bravely took the file and opened it, placing a hand over his mouth as he did so "Christ its worse than we ... Than we..."

" anticipated" interrupted Frances wiping her eyes.

The two of them stood there locked in each others arms for what seemed like eternity, the tears came and went, the feeling of numbness fell upon them.

"Is there nothing we can do?" Questioned Adam in a seemingly desperate tone.

Frances backed away from him shaking her head "I'm so sorry" the words echoed around the room bouncing off every wall.

Adam turned away and composed himself "how long? How long does he have?" He asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"If there's anyone that needs to see him, get them here now"

"But how long?"

"He will be lucky if he lasts the night" answered Frances heading for the door.

Adam watched her go and broke down, he couldn't stop himself, hitting the wall making his knuckles bleed made him feel slightly better, picking up the phone he dialed Zoe's number, his hands were shaking as he waited for her to answer "answer the fucking phone Zoe!" He yelled giving the wall another beating.

No answer...

"Adam... Where is he?" Came a voice from behind him, he turned slowly to see Zoe stood in the doorway, he didn't hesitant in rushing over to hold her, her reaction was to hold him to, they both knew the inevitable was close, together they took the long walk to Nick's room.

"You go first" insisted Zoe "I can't"

Like a man Adam gripped her hand "we will go together" he said with a nod clutching her hand, fear building inside both of them they walked in to see Nick looking happy, he was sleeping but he was smiling.

"Is he...?" Zoe stumbled over her words.

"No" Frances answered "but he's going, his pulse is shallow, his bp is dropping, he should just..." She held her hand over her mouth "he should slip away peacefully"

The three of them sat watching over him for hours, nothing changed.

…

Nick lay helpless, staring at the ceiling, he couldn't move his arms or legs, he couldn't move anything, he could see Zoe, Frances and Adam before him, but he couldn't speak, his head felt heavy, he kept hearing the words 'come with me' but he didn't know where they were coming from, must be my brain shutting down he thought, he wasn't in pain,he knew his time had come, but he wasn't ready, not yet, he wanted to scream out NOT YET ... But he couldn't, his body had let him down, he knew now he was half spirit.

The heart monitor began to beep and Nick could see himself, see himself lay lifeless in bed, he sees Adam, Zoe and Frances rally round him, a crash team enter the room and walk right through him.

Zoe runs outside in tears, Nick follows "Zoe!" He calls watching her turn round to face him "can you see me?" He questions.

Zoe stands like a statue before him, unable to move, she nods in disbelief.

"Its my time Zoe" says Nick looking back watching people work on his body.

"No Nick, stay with me" begged Zoe tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Its time Zoe, we always knew this day was going to come" Nick could hardly get the words out, was this a dream? Is there really life beyond death?

"Don't leave me Nick"

"Everything is clear now Zoe" smiled Nick "I'm free" he said looking above as a white light began to shine upon him, he glanced up and saw the hands of his grandad reach out to him.

"Zoe I'll always love you" he said with a smile turning towards the light...

…

"I'm calling it, there's no out put, time of death 8.32."

Zoe walked in with a smile on her face, Adam rushed over "Zoe he's..."

"I know" interrupted Zoe "he said goodbye"

She led Adam over to the window and insisted he look at the sky, opening the window she asked him to focus on the clouds, they both stood in silence as the birds flew by, and the clouds spelled out the message...

THANK YOU GUYS, IM FREE NOW…...

Hope you like the ending, please review etc guys, thanks for all your support over the years!

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