Why Hello there my lovelies! Extra long update and extra kisses for you all! xxx Thank you, Serenity Shadowstar for the suggestion. Why...you've nearly guessed my whole plot! Am I that predictable? Oh Well...I hope you enjoy this little update here. Kinda fluffy...possibly rated M...idk...read with caution ;) Like most times...written and not reread, so please, overlook any errors. :) Anyways...enjoy!

"I'm going with you," Jace stated after Clary repeated her brief phone conversation to him, his face morphing seamlessly from a rigid composure to outright fury. Clary looked at him in shock, his golden hair a messy halo atop his head, his molten gaze burning through her like lava, his strong jaw set with resolution. His muscles were flexed, tight, ready to pounce on anything that so much as inched toward Clary, and she thought that it was absolutely beautiful. Her countering words were lost with her ability to breathe.

Abruptly, he turned on his heel, effectively cutting off any opposing argument she might have been able to muster. He bustled about the room, gathering up their few belongings before depositing them into the black duffle bag they shared. The zipper cut through the thick silence as he closed the bag, hitching it up on his shoulder. Without a word, he flew out the door, leaving Clary to chase after his retreating figure. "Jace!" she called to him, trying to avoid his seductive and mesmerizing gaze. The trunk slammed, revealing a very different Jace. His expression wasn't angry. It wasn't kind or caring. It wasn't passionate or protective. It just wasn't. He was completely and utterly expressionless, the planes of his face smooth, eyes wide but not bright, eyebrows not pulled together nor raised. The Jace she'd seen before being trampled by the car, the one she'd viewed through drunken eyes, the one who'd played the piano for her—he was gone. The one so open and caring and loving, he wasn't there. She'd gotten so used to seeing him stripped entirely raw of his fierce demeanor that this Jace was almost…frightening.

She reached out to touch him, expecting him to lean into her touch, but he did the opposite. He moved away from her, almost flinched at the thought of her touching him. She swallowed her dejection and quietly asked, "Don't you even want to talk about—"

"No." His tone was clipped, and he turned away from her, slipping into the driver's seat, visibly shaking the car with the force he used to slam his door. Clary stood in her spot, dumbfounded, and completely overcome with a vicious rage. She tried counting backward from ten, tried the breathing techniques she'd learned in school, tried everything in the book to calm herself down, but nothing was working. And when she opened her eyes to see Jace looking at her expectantly out the window, she saw red.

"Dammit, Jace Herondale!" she screamed, her voice raising an entire octave and her hands clenching into fists. She stomped over to him and yanked the car door open. "This isn't your fight. I won't let you do this!" She was shaking. "Quit trying to boss me around like you know what's best for me! You don't, Jace! You really don't." Her voice dropped at the end, her hands rising up and falling dejectedly back to her sides. Jace continued to stare blankly at her, his gaze unreadable, though his knuckles on the steering wheel were white with strain. Clary huffed. "Jace," she said in a calmer tone, "I won't let you throw yourself into this fight. It's not yours. It's mine."

Jace's hands slipped from the steering wheel, and he was suddenly cupping her face in both of his rough, beat-up hands, caressing her cheeks with his calloused thumbs and looking at her with all the love and protectiveness and care that had been missing. "Clary," he murmured, pressing his forehead against hers and fanning his warm breath over her face. " I would die for you. Don't you realize that?" Clary sighed, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm not asking you to die for me, Jace." She inhaled, breathing in what could only be described as Jace. An aroma that was manly laced with confidence and compassion, a scent that was purely and distinctively Jace, one that she didn't want to forget. Ever. "That's why I'm going alone." Jace's hand stilled where it had been playing with a rogue curl. She felt his body tense and his heartbeat increase.

"No." The single syllable was dripping with finality, something that almost made Clary fearful to argue. But she had to. She wouldn't let Jace wind himself into this mess, even though he seemed willing enough. She abruptly stepped out of his embrace, opening her mouth to speak, hating herself for what she was about to say. Jace cut her off before she even breathed in. "Don't even try that 'I don't even love you' bullshit because I know you, Clary. I know you do. You're not going to fool me." Her teeth clattered as she shut her mouth tightly. Why did he have to be right all the time?

She tried again, pushing away his arms as he reached out to her. "Jace, trying to be all heroic will get you killed! It will take you away from me forever! This isn't a freaking movie, Jace! My tears won't be able to bring you back!" She crumpled onto the dirty pavement of the parking lot, huffing through her teeth, forcibly building a dam to hold back the wellspring of tears forming in her eyes. "Don't you even see what that will do to me, Jace? I need you! Don't you even care?!"

Strong arms lifted her to her feet and held her tightly against a broad, warm chest. Jace quietly shushed her, whispering soft things in her ears, sweet things that were lost in the roaring of her ears. "Clary, I would rather die than lose you. I would rather my life end than yours. If you go there and don't come back, do you know what I would become?" Clary sniffled. "I'd be a zombie, Clary. Living but not really alive." He brushed a traitor tear from her cheek with a kiss. "You are my life, and if I lose you and know I didn't even try, God Clary, I'd have lost everything." Clary wound her arms around his waist and held him tightly, nodding her head fiercely and letting him lead her to the passenger seat. He buckled her in and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before slipping into the seat next to her.

It was the loudest silence Clary had ever heard. The tires grinded down the whirlwind of highways, spinning at top speed as Jace expertly maneuvered the muscle car in and out of traffic, detouring around rush hours and speeding through small, unknown towns. Somehow, the cops stayed away from them, as if they sensed the sheer urgency of the situation.

Clary's mind wasn't on the road, of course. If she'd have been driving, they'd have been in the ditch about seven times by now, her mind completely encompassed by one face. She had to go alone. She couldn't let Jace come with, wouldn't let Jace come with. It was something that she had to do. Her eyes wandered to the blonde beside her. He didn't notice, his eyes intently focused on the asphalt before them, mind intent on getting them to their destination. Clary's heart swelled. She knew behind that hard exterior was an innocent boy, broken by the past, hopeful of the future. She knew that she had to give him that future, and the only way would be to not allow him to come with. Her gaze snapped back to the windshield as golden eyes shifted to her direction. Nobody said a word. Not even the radio could fill the heavy silence between them.

Dusk settled around them, and somehow, Jace had managed to bring them all the way to Illinois. "Let's stop for the night, Jace," Clary murmured, seeing how low his eyelids hung. He put up a weak argument, until Clary steered them onto the nearest exit.

The motel room they rented was dingy. The toilet rocked back and forth when they sat on it, and the shower tiles were coated in a heavy layer of grime. The carpet had its fair share of stains, one that Clary and Jace preferred not to know the origins of as the treaded lightly around the room. The lights flickered and went out as soon as Jace flipped the switch. "Dammit," he cursed.

After carefully removing the plastic-y duvet cover, Clary fell into bed with all her clothes on, more emotionally exhausted than physically. "Jace, come spoon me," she said in a giggly voice, satisfied by the warm presence behind her. She felt him place warm kisses on the back of her neck and electricity sparked up and down her spine. "I love you," she whispered into the darkness, pressing herself as close to him as possible.

"I love you, too," he murmured into her ears. "Sweet dreams, Testarossa."

The pair slept until the sun was high in the sky, blazing down on the cool world with a burning glory. "Clary," Jace mumbled as he stirred in his sleep, shifting behind Clary and waking her. She'd slept fitfully anyway, tossing and turning, crying out into the night. It was a wonder that Jace had not woken when she'd clenched his shirt to make sure he was still there. She smoothed her hair and poked the slumbering boy beside her. He didn't move.

The room reeked of mold and the curtains billowed from the air of the heater, further adding to the pungent scent. Clary wanted nothing more than to leave. "Jaceeeee," she whined, rocking his toned body back and forth. He inhaled sharply, and his eyes popped open as he seized Clary's wrist. He looked wild, ready to attack. Clary removed her wrist from his grasp and rubbed the red finger marks.

He looked shocked by himself. "I'm…I'm sorry, Clary." He slowly backed away from her with his hands raised, eyes wide and regretful. She tried to assure him that it was okay, but he didn't seem to hear her as he made his way out to the car.

"Jace…" Clary whispered after an hour of silence. He hummed lightly in response, his jaw still set, his eyes still flaring with self-hatred. "were you dreaming about…him?" Jace's hands tightened, but to her surprise, he looked at her, nodding. His gaze was filled with so much remorse, so much fear, it made her stomach hurt with sadness. She took his tense hand in hers, holding it tightly. "It will all be okay, Jace."

X.O.X.O.X

Sixteen hours later, the car was just outside of the state of New York. The stars were bright in the night sky, city lights not obstructing them yet. "Jace," Clary murmured sleepily, or what she hoped sounded sleepily, "can we stop for one more night? I just…wanna get prepared before….you know…everything." Silently, Jace pulled onto an exit, the car speeding into the nearest city. She hoped she'd played her part perfectly.

She'd been devising this plan since she'd buckled herself into the car, and her heart ached as she had to put it into motion. Would this break him? Would she crack his fragile surface even more than his stepfather had? She forced away those thoughts, watching as a tall hotel towered before her. "Jace?" she asked, gazing up in wonder. It was a five-star hotel, she concluded as Jace handed his keys over to the valet. They definitely stuck out here, with their dirty, tired appearance.

"I just wanted to treat you tonight," he responded, quietly adding, "We can have separate rooms if you'd like." Clary shook her head vigorously from side to side, watching her plan slowly crumble in her mind as she struggled to collect the pieces and reinforce it. This had to be done, whether he brought her to a fancy hotel or not. "Good."

The room was beautiful, with a big, white, fluffy kind sized bed and golden embellishments throughout the room. There was a Jacuzzi bathtub and a shower big enough to fit five people, Clary looked around in wonder, fiddling with the heart at her throat. "You can take a shower first," Jace offered, and she mutely nodded in response. She'd never seen anything so amazing.

She stripped herself of her clothes and stepped into the steamy spray, letting the hot droplets sooth her sore muscles. She lathered herself with the lavender soap the hotel provided and relished in the lovely feeling of the dirt washing away. She imagined it washing away her regrets and her fears. She imagined her insecurity and trepidation swirling down the drain. It was rejuvenating.

Stepping out, she dried herself with the biggest towel she'd ever seen and swaddled herself in one of the hotel bathrobes. She stepped into the bedroom, seeing Jace laying on the bed, hair wet and curling to the sides of his face, a few water droplets still clinging to his bare chest. He only wore a towel around his waist as he flipped through the channels on the plasma screen T.V., leaving his beautiful scars on full display. She sat there momentarily, following the lines she'd memorized over the past few months, wanting nothing more than to trace them with her lips, to making him forget the way he felt about them. But she couldn't, not now. Clary cleared her throat. Jace's sad eyes found hers as he lowered the remote. "I could sleep on the floor…" he said, dropping his gaze to the ground. Clary shook her head and slowly lay down next to him, stretching out her cramped muscles. She shifted as Jace pulled the blankets up over them both, and she closed her eyes as he turned out the lamp. Her chest ached. Could she really go through with this? Her heart slammed against her ribs as Jace reached out to her, pulling her into the warm circle of his arms. She felt his warm lips press a kiss on the top of her curls.

His soft snore floated around the room a few minutes later, the comforting and familiar sound now setting Clary on edge. This was it. It was time. She wriggled, trying to get out of his grasp, but she was surprised to find that Jace only held her closer. She tried again, only to be wrangled back in by his warm, muscled arms. She let out a loud, frustrated sob after fifteen minutes of this. She needed to get away from him for his own good. She would be his ruin! And yet, he was always pulling her back to him, cradling her closer than before. "Clary?" Jace asked into the darkness, his hands running along the soft robe she was wearing. "Are you alright, Sweetheart?" Clary lost all her resolve.

Her lips sought out his in the darkness, and they collided. Jace let out a surprised hiccup, but soon wound his fingers into her hair, losing himself as much as she did. It was the clashing of teeth and the biting of lips. It was the swirling of tongues and the capturing of moans. They twisted themselves together, becoming a tangle on the bed. Clary couldn't help it when her frantic hands traced the towel along his firm waist, reaching to undo it, merely millimeters away before Jace's calm hands stilled her shaking ones. "Clary…" It was more of a moan than a negative, and Clary again tried to remove the fabric that covered what she longed to see. She squeaked in surprise when Jace was no longer there. "Clary," he said firmly, though huskily. Clary groaned in frustration, flinging herself back onto the pillows. "Are you sure this is the right time?"

She turned her sharp green eyes on him, narrowed in anger and lust. Her fiery red hair fanned out around her like a flame as she yelled. "Dammit, Jace! I want you!" She was breathing heavily as her eyes softened, widening as they gazed up at him. In a quiet voice she added, "I want you. Who cares where? Who cares about tomorrow or the next day? Who cares? All I know is that I want you, and that's the only thing I've been sure of in a long time." She sighed at the end of her sentence, throwing an arm over her face to try to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. Did she really just admit that?

"Clary, you know that I'm not a virgin," Jace's pained voice said, still too far away for her taste. Of course she knew that. She'd never really thought about it until now. Would she even compare, could she satisfy him like the other girls had been able to? Jace mistook her silence for distaste. "I'm sorry. I can't change that."

"It doesn't bother me, Jace." Their gazes locked, and suddenly, Jace was back in her arms, kissing her feverishly with a newfound vigor. This time, as she reached for the towel, nothing restrained her from pulling it away and casting it to the floor. She gazed at his completely exposed body, the golden rays that seemed to emanate from every part of his perfection. He kissed her again, reaching out to unweave the knot of her robe.

"Are you sure," he asked when it was undone, holding together the sides of her robe with one hand.

"Positive," she breathed against his lips, allowing to push the robe down her shoulders and let it join his towel on the floor. His eyes drank her in as his lips followed their burning trail.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, his hands exploring and memorizing every inch of her. With one look, he rid her of the insecurity she clung to, of the shyness she always felt. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed away the tears she was crying as she felt his love wash over her, as she remembered what she had to do to him.

"I love you, Jace." She twined her fingers into his hair and let him take her down the road she'd never gone.

Uh Oh...what is Clary going to do to Jace? Hmmmmm...guess you'll have to wait and find out... ;) and for those of you pining for more description about their romantic rendezvous, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! Just kidding...maybe something can be arranged...we'll see...anyways...review? :)

All my love, lovelies

~BallinBlonde21