CHAPTER V

Gokudera's POV

Gokudera paced his office, hands shoved into his jeans' pockets, cigarette dangling from his mouth.

He felt this overwhelming and supressing weight oh his chest whenever he thought of you. He itched to be pressed up against your body, inside your warmth. There wasn't enough alcohol he could consume to take the edge off but it lessened his inhibitions all the same.

There was always that voice nagging in the back of his mind that this was going to be the time you told him to fuck off.

He could tell you wanted him, at least sexually. Your (e/c) were always filled with an intense hunger, a greediness that made him stiff in recollection. The problem was you never spoke to him, you never asked him to stick around or complain that he'd leave before you'd wake like the other girls did. He couldn't figure you out and that made him nervous.

Did he really want more though? Could he actually be capable of loving someone else? He loved his boss, yes, but that was a completely platonic love. It was a love for a man who he devoted his life to, whom he greatly respected. Could he divide his life to protect you the way he swore to protect the tenth? No... he couldn't. That was his job, his reason for living, he couldn't allow distractions that could potentially put the Tenth's life in danger.

"Yo, Aho 'Dera haha! Have you seen I-Pin? She stole Lambo-san's gum drops!" Lambo's shrill voice cut through his deep thoughts.

"Che!" Gokudera reached for something to throw at the stupid cow. "Aho Ushi! How many times have I told you not to barge into my office?!"

"Ne ne," Lambo - currently eleven years old but no more mature than when he was five - pulled down the skin under his eye and stuck out his tongue. "Gokudera, do you actually do any work in here? Ah ha ha! Baka 'Dera! Dame 'Dera!"

Gokudera's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He spotted a a stapler, grabbed it and threw it at Lambo. He missed on purpose.

"Ahaha! Aho 'Dera missed Lambo-san..." he began singing things that rhymed with "-san".

Gokudera clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, knowing he'd get scolded if he did anything to the stupid cow. At times like these he wished Reborn was here to swat him down like the annoying fly that he was.

"Oh la la! I-Pin! Come back with Lambo-san's candy!" Lambo shouted, running down the hall of the Vongola base.

"Man!" Gokudera uttered through his gritted teeth.

"Gokudera-kun...? What was that all about?"

He looked up to see the tenth in the doorway.

"Juudaime! Uh, the stupid cow was just looking for something."

The tenth sighed and picked up the stapler. "This?" he asked doubtfully.

Gokudera let out a nervous laugh. "I was stapling some papers and my hand slipped."

He grinned and shook his head, stepping into Gokudera's office to return the stapler to his desk. "Gokudera...Is everything okay?"

Gokudera glanced over at his boss in slight bewilderment. Juudaime shouldn't be worried about me! he thought.

"Of course, Juudaime! I'm pumped for tomorrow's mission. As your right hand man, I swear to protect you with my life!"

The tenth laughed. Gokudera got really animated when he was passionate about something.

"I don't mean that... I've noticed you're barely sleeping, coming in at dawn...I'm just worried about you."

Gokudera's eyes went wide. He could see the concern on the tenth's face.

He took a short bow and looked up at his boss. "I'm terribly sorry for making you worry, Juudaime! I... I... I'll sort everything out," was all he could say.

"Okay," he said. He knew Gokudera would never talk about what was going on in his mind. He let out a sigh.

"Juudaime?"

"There is something... that I wanted to ask you."

Gokudera's brow furrowed in confusion. "Of course, Juudaime!"

"Why haven't you told me about (Y/N) yet?" His tone was notably more serious.

Now Gokudera's were wide with shock and he took a step back. "H-how...?"

The tenth's hyper intuition was good, but not that good.

"Yamamoto told me," he said, eyeing. the silverette. Something about Gokudera's body language was off. He looked to shocked, he kept fidgeting.

"But he..."

"He told me you guys ran into her at that bar, that she works there. He goes there sometimes to visit her."

"Che... that idiot," Gokudera pouted.

"She told him about what happened to her that night... "

Gokudera's heart stopped. He gaped at him. The tenth's eyes were soft.

"She didn't go into details but she said that you saved her."

Gokudera's cheeks flared and he turned his head to avoid his boss. "Tch, stupid woman! It's not like I was trying to be her hero or anything," he said with angst.

The tenth let out a small laugh. "Don't be so modest."

"Che! ... it's not modesty. Honestly, what a stupid woman. Does she tell her life story to everyone who'll listen?" Gokudera couldn't help but notice the jealousy in his voice. That made him even more angry.

He was annoyed and pissed off because you didn't talk to him about it. You didn't talk to him about anything. And here was that fucking yakyu baka coming in on Dino's bright white fucking horse trying to play your knight in shining armour.

He was jealous that Yamamoto was there for you when he should have been. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

"Gokudera-kun?" the tenth asked worriedly.

"It's nothing, Juudaime," he said lowly, eyes hooded. "Sorry again for making you worry."

Tsuna's chocolate coloured eyes stared at the silverette in confusion. He understood that Gokudera was the type to easily riled up but this sudden change in moods around him was unusual.

"Excuse me, Juudaime, there's something I need to do."

Tsuna's eyes followed the man out of his office, his face grave and his tone low and serious.

What did I say? Tsuna wondered. He followed Gokudera out of his office and down the corridor of the base.

Gokudera was fuming, he wasn't sure who he was more angry at.

He did know, though. He was angry with himself. But being the hot head who acted now and asked questions later, he wasn't thinking logically at the moment.

He heard the idiot's vexatious laugh coming from the kitchen. The tall and lean rain guardian stood a foot from the entryway with his back to Gokudera.

Kyoko Sasagawa noticed him first. "Gokudera!" she said happily. "We were just-"

Yamamoto turned to greet him and Gokudera grabbed him by his shirt collar. "Teme!" he shouted hoarsely.

"Gokudera?" Kyoko asked cautiously.

"Gokudera-kun!" the tehnth shouted, entering the kitchen.

Yamamoto looked a bit surprised and confused. "Go-Gokudera?"

"You stay the fuck away from her, you bastard," Gokudera said, already regretting his choice of words. He didn't want to come off as some jealous, love sick jerk, but that's exactly what he sounded like.

"Gokudera, stop!" the tehth demanded and Gokudera released Yamamoto, shoving him aside.

"What... who are you talking about?" asked Yamamoto. "Tsuna?"

"Tch," Gokudera spat and stormed out of the kitchen.