A smile tugged at the corners of Kovu's mouth when he lifted his muzzle to the crisp, light air. Small, billowing clouds escaped from his nose as he breathed in deeply. The land around him was shrouded in a thin blanket of frost and fog, and in the thorny, dusty green trees he could hear morning birdsong. At peace, he could let his mind wander as he patrolled the edges of the Pride Lands alone. Nobody was there to judge him, nor was there anyone to make him find something more productive to do. He didn't have to lay claim to the titles of rogue, son, brother, mate, father- or in any sense of the term, heir to the throne. He just had one: Kovu.

In the distance, his green eyes spotted a tawny, leggy figure. His instincts took over and he quickly went into a hunter's crouch in the short, brown grass. Although there was no real shortage of prey in the Pride Lands, despite the signs of a possibly early dry season, the Outsider in Kovu didn't allow for such an opportunity to pass. He began to creep forward, his eyes firmly on the gazelle as it nibbled on scrub. The poor gazelle had gone off a few leaps away from its herd, and by the time Kovu grew close enough to clearly see each stubby tooth in its mouth, he'd noticed it favored its right front leg.

Kovu's haunches rocked as he prepared to launch his attack.

So easy...

It was completely unaware. He'd proudly to take it back to Kiara and their-

The gazelle scattered faster than Kovu had ever seen before, the limping gazelle fleeing as well. He stood and cursed, the fur on the nape of his neck prickling and a growl rumbling in the back of his throat. It was pointless to chase after them.

At least I'm not starving...

"Always waiting until the last moment, I see."

The voice sent his heart into a furious thunder. Horrified, Kovu spun around.

But...

He felt his jaw drop.

There's nobody here... Have I started to imagine that horrible voice?

He'd expected to find Zira standing there, laughing like a deranged hyena. Tensely, he half-growled, half-panted. He shook his head. It was irrational. He was letting his mind get the best of him. It was foolish to even be out there, so close to the cliff from which Zira had fallen into the raging river.

But I've come here to make sure my family is safe. I have to be sure she's dead and will never hurt my family again.

Without a body as proof of her demise, Kovu often wandered near the cliff where he had last seen her. Then he would allow himself to become immersed into imaginings of what he would say to her, what he would do, if there came a time when she did materialize. Several times he'd thought about stumbling upon her while she witlessly slept, and then ambushing her. Lately, he thought about taking her captive and dragging her to Simba at Pride Rock. But most of the time he became obsessed with his hatred and all the painful memories he had held back all those years. He wanted to yell at her, make her finally listen to him. When she'd fallen from the cliff, she'd robbed him of all that.

He eyed his surroundings and started to turn away from the cliff. Time to go home, I think. Asuma and Tanga wanted me to take them out for hunting prac-

"Are you deaf, Kovu?"

Kovu jumped and spun. "No... No, it can't be…" he hissed under his breath, frantically looking around. He felt the blood rush away from his face and dribble into his paws. His eyes widened as he searched for the source of the taunt.

"Over here. That's right."

Kovu narrowed his eyes.

From behind a boulder, a sinewy lioness stepped out. Her tawny fur was matted, and he stopped himself from gasping when he saw her bulging ribs. From the deep lines around her eyes he could tell she was in pain. He also noticed there was something about her expression that made her look almost... lonely.

Yet, somewhat meekly, she managed to smile.

Kovu loathed that cheeky grin.

His voice was caught in his throat by raw shock for several seconds. He finally blurted, "No! You're supposed to be dead!" He knew instantly, now or never, he had to act, either by attacking or running away, but he was frozen to the chilly, damp earth he stood on. "Y-you're-"

Zira narrowed her eyes. "Oh, stop babbling like a fool, Kovu," Zira snapped in her gravely, yet smooth, voice. "I may be weakened and shamed, but I'm not dead just yet. Would a dead lioness be walking and talking?"

He had to react! He had to, but he just couldn't. He could not believe what he was seeing. He shut his eyes tight.

"Open your eyes, my son," she told him. "You can't just wish me away."

"You're dead..."

"Just open your eyes, and we can have ourselves a nice little chat. I know you'd like that."

One at a time, Kovu reluctantly opened his eyes.

She had sat down, and now she was close enough for him to touch her. She seemed to inspect him carefully, especially his face.

Her boldness sickened him.

Her head tilted slightly to the side. "That scar is nearly gone," she remarked.

Kovu quietly massaged the ground with his claws. "Rafiki's work. I'm starting my life over."

She smirked, like he had said something comical. "Oh, we don't need our scars to remember the past, now do we, Kovu?"

"I-"

"You must not be trying too hard to forget me," she continued. "I've seen you come here nearly every day, my son. But, what effort you have made is good enough for me." She then paused, as if waiting for him to ask her something.

He raised a brow, giving her nothing more aside from a glare.

The haggard lioness cleared her throat. "I see you have children now, and Vitani a son. They look strong."

He started to shake, his muscles were so tense. Zira, in the Pride Lands? Near my cubs?

Zira's eyes widened. "I understand what you're feeling-"

He snarled, baring his teeth. "How could you? You've never understood! How dare you come where you are not wanted!""

"Kovu, I-"

"I'm only going to say this once." He took a step forward.

The old rogue scrambled to her paws and took a step away from him.

The voice saying his words startled him. It was bitter, ice cold, and embedded in a deep, guttural growl. "Leave now before I do something I won't regret."

Zira flinched and seemed to think twice about heeding his warning, but for whatever reason... she didn't run.

His heart skipped a beat. "Don't make me warn you again!"

Instead of turning and running, the corners of Zira's the frown on her muzzle deepened almost into a pout, her brows arching. "I... I just wanted to be a part of my son's and daughter's lives again."

What?

Kovu curled his lip and sniffed indignantly. "We are no longer your children."

"Fair enough," she replied. "But nevertheless... I wanted to speak with you."

"No!" He took another step forward.

Zira's shoulders sank, but this time she didn't move away. "It's only one conversation," she pointed out. Her sharp nose twitched. "Please, won't you hear me out?"

Attack! Attack! Attack! She's seeing right through you! She can see you're faltering! Attack, attack now!

His paws ached from the amount of pressure he was using to dig into the dirt. For a second, he allowed himself to lift a paw and glance down and see the deep, smooth grooves his claws had carved into the dead earth.

"Kovu, you know it would have been easy for me to attack you. You could be dead right now..."

He thought he knew her well enough to know that she wasn't necessarily threatening him, but intead was stating a fact- one he knew well enough.

"But instead I exposed myself to you," she finished. "I'm risking my life, I know. But can't you spare a moment just to listen?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You've never listened to me. Why should I listen to you?"

She opened her mouth, but after a moment she closed it again. Then she looked down at the ground while her shoulders turned in on themselves.

As he glared down at her, he wondered if the revulsion, among other conflicted emotions, he felt then had been the same as when she had glared down at him as a young lion. Even early on, her erratic abuse had spoken more than a thousand words could. He also wondered if the thought had ever crossed her mind that he could ever defy her with all the power she had given him. Had she been so confident in her brainwashing that she had had no need to be aware of such a thing? Just how confident was she at that moment while she waited on him to decide what to do? Was she laughing inside, or was she shivering like a mewling, newborn cub?

Inwardly, he cringed. Am I still her victim...?

Zira's loud sigh broke through his thoughts. "I was a fool to think you believed in second chances." She stood up. "If you don't mind, I'd like to find some nice hole to die alone in."

Attack, attack now! She has her back to you!

He half-sighed, half-growled.

What are you doing? Trying to prove to her that you're not evil? Stop!

Grimacing, he called her back. "Talk fast, rogue."

As she turned to him, Zira looked taken aback. "Oh... Kovu, thank-"

"No tricks," he told her firmly. "Talk. Now. Before I change my mind."

Her eyes brightened as she turned and sat down. "Kovu..." she began, "I was consumed with a hatred that blinded me. It was in my best interest to take away your innocence- Nuka and Vitani's, too. I used you as my pawn when it should have been me instead doing my dirty work, and that alone cost me your love, and cost me the life of my eldest son. Oh, if only I had seen Nuka for what he really was, I would have treated him better!"

"You admit that it was your fault and not mine? That I did not kill Nuka?"

"Yes..." Zira replied slowly.

Kovu furiously scanned her face for any tiny trace of untruth, but none reared its ugly head. He continued to hold her with suspicion, but he could not help but listen to what appeared to be a ring of sincerity in her rough voice. The things she said still got under his skin, but somehow she seemed softer around the edges.

Is this all just a game to her?

Then she said a bit too sharply for Kovu's taste, "I was apologizing, and all you heard was that I cleared your conscious of Nuka's death." When nobody stopped her, she restated, "Kovu… I am very sorry for what I have done, and I've had time to do some thinking. I've thought a lot about Simba's daughter and what she tried to do for me. I was lost, and I was too angry to see what she was doing until it was too late. It wasn't until I was hanging from a cliff dangling above a river with her paw stretched down to me that I understood."

His jaw dropped. He'd never imagined... He couldn't comprehend the words. Zira was incapable of saying them!

"What?" he exclaimed. "You're lying! You mean none of that. You only care about yourself!"

Zira frowned and took a step back once again. She snapped in a startled voice, "Calm your anger, my so-"

"You're not my mother!"

"Do you forget that you are part of me? We are of the same flesh. I did give birth to you."

In a burst of energy, Kovu growled and easily knocked her to the ground, pinning her. He thought she would spit and writhe like the cobra she was, but beneath his paws, she was submissive. Her face was surprisingly calm as she looked up at him. This irritated him like a burr that had lodged itself deep into his pelt.

"I know what you're doing," he growled warningly. "Don't think you can wriggle back into my life again. I'm through with you. It was stupid of me to even let you open your mouth. You're nothin' but a trickster. I've come out here to make sure you're dead and look at me… I have my claws in you and you're still breathing!"

"You're not weak for sparing me," Zira said, her tone somber. "It's not weak to show mercy."

"Liar! You've never thought mercy was a virtue," he said, his claws massaging her flesh in frustration.

It would be so easy, but what's stopping me?

He laughed in disgust. "Heh, you said yourself you robbed me of my innocence, and you scorned Simba and laughed at him over and over again for sparing me when you offered me up to him- thinking of only yourself!"

"You can't kill me because you still see me as your mother, Kovu. I think you still feel guilty for betraying me and falling in love with the enemy," Zira retorted.

Kovu gritted his teeth. "Shut up," he growled.

You're like an infection.

"Deep down, I think there is a voice that nags you. You don't feel adequate, and you fear you will fail everyone. You want to protect them all, but you don't think you can."

Kovu leaped away from her so fast he was stumbling over his own paws, as if she had burned or bitten him. "Stop it!" he roared despairingly.

The ragged lioness clambered painfully to her paws and leisurely groomed her chest. She then lifted her chin as she spoke to him. "Have I not told you that you cannot escape your destiny? Try as you might by vainly healing that scar, it's useless," she said to him, her tone blunt. "I have said I am sorry. Isn't it your desire as well to put this to rest? That's why you come here each and every day, is it not? You can move on, become the great king I know you will be. There is blood on your paws, but if you forgive me, and beg mercy for me from Simba, you can wash it all away. And what would your cubs think of you… if they knew?"

The cubs? Kovu inwardly mused in horror. If Zira had approached them already, he would have known. They didn't even know her name- just that she was not there. It had been agreed upon that Tanga, Asuma, and Vitani's son, Natin, would know nothing about the shared past of their father and mother.

"You wouldn't dare..."

"I want an audience with Simba, Kovu," Zira told him. "I wish to ask his forgiveness. If you do this one thing for me, you will never have to see me again. That's all I ask. Besides," she then added, "he deserves to know the truth about his son."

"Wait, what son?" Kovu narrowed his green eyes in thought. He vaguely remembered his mother speaking a name once or twice, but the meaning behind the name was fuzzy. "Ch-Chaka?"

"Yes, Kovu. Chaka's death was the reason we were exiled. Simba needs to know the truth so that both of you can move on. Surely he still sees you for the devious rogue who so happened to save his daughter, taking the place of the son he should have had at his side."

Kovu knew he made a grave mistake when he averted his eyes in thought. Simba had been looking at him strangely lately, and there could only be one explanation- his faith in Kovu was faltering again. Kovu had promised himself he would no longer have to look at his reflection and see a monster when he was driven to the watering hole by thirst.

You're no monster, but this isn't the way to prove it!

All that time he'd felt like he was losing himself again, but he wouldn't give up without a fight. He hadn't yet. He just couldn't.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone! Stop!

"He'll never come," Kovu murmured, eyes still averted away from Zira as he considered the temptation.

"I know you'll find a way."

Attack!

"I'll be waiting right here, Kovu."

11/6/11

Rebooted this chapter with no super-major changes, but I thought Kovu's thoughts fell a little flat and frankly, my writing skills pre-reboot left a lot to be desired, which kind of sucks for a chapter that I feel is pretty important.

So, old or new reader, I hope you enjoyed it!