Nightmares
A year had passed since Bella joined them. Alice had decided to make the day Edward found her Bella's birthday. The whole family was very enthusiastic about it. They never had an opportunity to celebrate real birthdays and Alice went out of her way to ensure Bella received the party she deserved. Alice thought of everything, cake, decorations and presents and she invited all of Bella's classmates. Bella knew nothing about it.
Edward was concerned about one thing. Bella had settled in school and didn't find it unpleasant to go, even after what happened there, but the children in her class didn't seem to interest her as much as they should. Her classmates tried very hard to get her attention, which she politely gave, but it was never more than that. She opened up so easily to everyone in his family, but was almost completely closed down to everyone else. First he thought she just needed time, but after a year she still didn't have even one human friend. He pondered about it silently the night before Bella's birthday. He was standing in the living room, staring blindly outside.
Something bothering you, son?
Carlisle stood beside him.
'I am concerned.'
Bella?
Edward smiled. His father knew him well, if something was worrying him it was almost always about Bella.
'Alice invited all her classmates for her birthday party tomorrow, but I am wondering if Bella is going to appreciate this gesture?'
Why wouldn't she? Every little girl likes the attention she gets on her birthday.
'She has been in school for a year now, but did you ever hear her talk about someone in school she really likes? She never asks to play with anyone after school or brings a friend with her.'
Do you think the other children don't like her?
'No, I have read their minds and most of them like her. They find her interesting and kind.' Edward sighed. 'If there is any estrangement between Bella and her classmates it is mostly because Bella lets it be that way.'
I can't believe she would purposely do that. She let us into her heart so easily.
'I heard the thoughts of one of her teachers. Bella is never unkind to them and she helps them. She just keeps them at a distance. The teacher is concerned about it. She thinks Bella is too closed down compared to a normal child.'
You are concerned this is our fault.
Carlisle hit a nerve there. He was worried that living with them made her less perceptible for human contact.
'What if living in our world, makes her an outsider in theirs?'
I don't think you can put it that simply, Edward. You forget that Bella is an outsider to begin with. She may look like a human and feel like one, but she is not one of them. She doesn't realize this yet, but subconsciously she probably feels this very well. Maybe she feels that she doesn't belong in their world.
It pained him to think of Bella as an outsider in any kind of world.
'What should we do about it?'
I am not sure we should do anything about it. If Bella is happy living like this then why should we force her in another life? She laughs, she plays, she learns and she grows. What else can we expect from a child?
Yes, what else? Edward agreed.
Listen son, people always try to put everything special or out of the ordinary back to what they believe is normal behaviour. What if this life is what Bella needs? Would you really want to force her into something different?
'No, so what if she likes spending time with vampires more than she likes spending time with humans.' He added sarcastically.
She doesn't like vampires more than humans, she likes us more. She can connect better with us than with humans. We are special too.
But if you are that concerned about it, you should talk to her. You understand each other and I am sure she will tell you if something is making her unhappy.
Edward nodded. Carlisle was right. He could always talk to her and it was no use worrying about it now. Carlisle was probably right about the whole thing. He wanted to acknowledge this when Carlisle grabbed his shoulder to stop him from talking.
Shh, do you hear that?
He listened intently and heard something. He didn't like the sounds and they came from the direction of Bella's bedroom. Before he could react, Jasper was rushing up the stairs.
Bella is in distress!
He rushed after Jasper into Bella's room. She was sleeping, but it wasn't peacefully. She was struggling in her bed, murmuring distressed sounds. Jasper shook her to wake her up, but she didn't respond.
'Jasper, what is wrong?' Carlisle asked.
'She is sending strong waves of fear and distress and something else. I don't understand this.'
She was really thrashing around in her blankets now. Tears were running over her cheeks, it was hard to look at.
'Jasper, help her control her emotions. Use your powers!' Carlisle pressed.
Edward knew from Jasper's mind, he was already using his powers. Edward tried to wake her up, but had the same result as Jasper. He tried to calm her down, caressing her and speaking to her, but he didn't seem to reach her. She was yelling out words.
'No! No! Don't!'
Jasper's face contorted into pain.
Her emotions are spiralling out of control. It is almost too much for me to handle. We have to do something!
Carlisle bowed over her.
'Her heart is beating too fast, like a panic.'
Jasper was using the full force of his ability to control her, but somehow it was not enough. Beats of sweat pearled on her skin and she gasped to get air. It reminded Edward of someone who was dying. He felt his own panic rise.
Edward! Keep it together! I can't handle your emotions right now.
'Stay calm, both of you.' Carlisle warned. 'It is a nightmare. She just has to wake up.'
It is a nightmare that is scaring her to death. Jasper thought frantic.
Edward did everything to pull himself together. He swallowed away his panic and shook Bella again. Still nothing.
'Help her! Please!' Bella shouted.
Carlisle did something that froze Edward out of shock. He slapped her. It didn't help. Her heart raced even faster and Carlisle's look became immensely worried. He rushed out of the bedroom and was back in a second, holding his case. He took out an injection needle and a bottle, filled the needle and without hesitation pushed the needle inside the muscle of her arm.
'I gave her Valium, that should lower her heart rate.'
They waited breathless for a change. Jasper was concentrated fully on keeping her emotions in check. Suddenly her eyes flew open and she sat straight up in bed. Edward grabbed her and looked into her eyes. He tried to connect with her, but she stared blindly in front of her. She was still not truly awake. Her eyes triggered nothing.
She sat there stiffly, no reaction to anything in the outside world. Edward looked at Jasper questionably.
She is calming down.
Her heartbeat was lowering and her breathing became more regular. They waited anxiously for her to give a reaction. After several minutes she did. She blinked her eyes and tears were falling again. Her body was trembling.
'Rose!' She yelled suddenly. 'Rose!'
Her voice was filled with lingering fear and pain.
Edward, get Rosalie. She is in the garage, she can't hear us.
The garage was on the other side of the house with many soundproof walls in between, so there was indeed a good chance Rosalie didn't hear Bella's calls. He rushed towards the garage. He didn't want to leave Bella, not even for a second, but he understood he was the one to go, with Carlisle's medical experience and Jasper's powers. His gift was no good at all when it concerned Bella. He threw open the garage door. Rose was working on one of her cars, bending down under the hood.
'Rose! Bella needs you!' He urged.
She stood up immediately.
What?! What is wrong with Bella?'
He didn't have time to explain.
'Just go to her!'
Together they ran to her room. Rose was at Bella's side immediately, caressing her hair from her sweaty face.
'Bella, sweetheart, what is wrong?'
She didn't answer, but threw her arms around Rosalie and pushed herself against her chest. Rose held her close.
Edward, what is going on here?
He didn't answer, because he didn't understand himself.
Rosalie waited for a few minutes, letting Bella clamp herself against her.
'Bella,' she tried carefully, 'can you tell me why you are upset?'
Bella withdrew and her eyes were on Rosalie, as if she was searching for reassurance there. Somehow she found it, because she braced herself and spoke softly.
'I saw a girl. She was all alone and she was beautiful. She was walking down the streets in the dark.'
Bella hesitated when Rosalie's face fell in a grimace.
'Go on, Bella.' She whispered.
Bella's eyes filled with new tears.
'She saw some men and she walked towards them, but they were bad men. They hurt her. They hurt her so much.'
Her tears were spilling over and her lips were trembling while she spoke.
'I saw the face of the girl clearly when she was bleeding on the ground. The girl was you.'
Rosalie's face held the pain brought on by the memory.
'You were in so much pain, I could feel it, but I couldn't help you.'
Bella's breathing accelerated again and her sobbing continued.
'You were all alone.' She whispered in between her sobs. 'Nobody helped you.'
Rosalie was for a moment completely taken by her pain, but suddenly her eyes snapped back to Bella.
'I wasn't alone, Bella. Somebody did help me.' Her eyes went to Carlisle, who walked closer and put a hand on Rose's shoulder. 'Carlisle found me and he saved my life. He gave me a second chance, a new life.'
'You do not want this life.'
Edward gasped out of surprise. Somehow Bella had addressed Rosalie's feelings perfectly.
'No, Bella.' Rose said gently. 'At that time I didn't want this life, but then I met Emmett and I learned how to love. I am not sorry, because if this didn't happen to me, I would have never met you.'
Bella locked her eyes with Rosalie.
'I wish there was someone there to protect you, just like you are here to protect me.'
Edward felt immensely hurt, knowing that two innocent girls had to go through this experience, one of them his girl, his heart.
'Will you stay with me for awhile?' Bella asked.
'Of course.'
Rosalie settled down on the side of Bella's bed and Jasper, Carlisle and Edward left her room. They needed some time together.
Edward checked his phone and saw that Alice had called him ten times. She, Esme and Emmett were hunting just to be safe for the party tomorrow. He had ignored all of the phone calls, not even hearing them. Jasper called her back quickly, explaining that Bella was safe for the moment. Edward waited impatiently for Jasper to join him and Carlisle. He wanted to talk to both of them. He was confused and Jasper probably felt it, because he cut his conversation short and joined them.
'What does it mean?' Edward asked quickly.
'It means that she has the ability to, for lack of a better word, dream about the past.' Carlisle answered.
'She doesn't dream.' Jasper said quietly. 'She experienced the past. She felt everything Rosalie felt, even the pain.'
Edward felt the sting of desperation, how could he protect her from that?
'What can we do?'
Carlisle was in doctor mode.
'Tomorrow before her party I will bring her with me to the hospital. I need to make an EGC. It is not unlikely there is some damage done to her heart, maybe we need to give her medication. I will do a full check-up.'
Edward wished they didn't have to wait till tomorrow. He was suddenly very anxious for a hospital filled with medical equipment.
'How can we prevent this from happening again?'
'If we assumed right and she experiences the past, then we should talk to her about our pasts, so she knows what to expect.' Carlisle suggested.
'I can help.' Jasper contributed. 'I will practice controlling her emotions every day with her from now on. I can make sure her physical reactions to her emotions are less extreme the next time.'
Carlisle agreed. Edward watched Jasper. He was pondering over something.
I understand now why I have this gift.
He arched his eyebrow at Jasper.
If I didn't have this gift do you think Bella would have survived tonight or another night? This proofs that she is meant to live with us and that we are best equipped to protect her.
Edward cursed this destiny. He couldn't understand how she was meant to have a gift that made her suffer this way. Why did she have to carry this burden? He would give everything in the world if it meant he could carry it for her.
'Why would she have this gift, what use is it, except to torture her?' His voice held anger, it was so unfair.
Carlisle shook his head.
'Understanding the past can be powerful knowledge, Edward. Everything that happens to us makes us who we are. We live and we learn. The talent to learn from everyones mistakes, not just your own...' His voice died out.
'She is too young.'
'I agree, but we cannot change that. We can help her to deal with this gift in every way we can.'
Carlisle's words didn't help with his anger. Her fate was too cruel, she didn't deserve it. He sighed deeply, the problem of her social skills with humans was suddenly very small compared to this.