Chapter 36
Cracking from Within

"FIND HER!" Zuko thundered, his fist slamming down on his desk before he resumed pacing like a caged animal. No one had seen his sister in a week. To say he was angry would not do him justice. How could they lose her? Why had she gone? Had she turned on him?

Katara told him to stay calm. Aang had shown up and proclaimed her to be in trouble. He'd spent the last week here with them searching the city for her and listening to every report before finally deciding she wasn't in the fire nation and took off again to search for her. The entire Fire Nation had been sealed up and searched for any sign of the princess. Everyone person having entered the city or worked the ports in the last two weeks had been questioned thoroughly. No one had seen her go. Why hadn't she said anything to him?

He slammed his fist down on his desk again and it burst into flames, splitting down the middle. The poor councilors before him absolutely quivered before his fury.

"We're doing everything we can, sire."

"She doesn't seem to be in the Fire Nation."

"None of the other nations have admitted to giving her leave to enter the city."

"She is simply gone."

"ONE DOES NOT JUST DISAPPEAR! AZULA CAN'T JUST BE ON THE LOOSE!" He shouted.

Again the group before him cringed.

"We are sorry, my lord. She will be found."

"We will not rest until she is found."

"Then why are you still sitting before me?" Zuko hissed.

They exchanged terrified looks and then bolted, running into each other and the doorway trying to avoid the stream of fire he shot after them.

Why would she leave him? Why had his sister gone?

Zuko sank down to the floor not sure whether to laugh or cry. Everything was falling apart. He needed to speak to his uncle. Rising from the floor he went to find the older man. Fortunately, the minute news had reached Iroh about Azula's disappearance, he had returned to the Fire Nation to help his nephew search.

- -

Katara was sitting at breakfast trying desperately to choose something to eat. Everything that normally looked delicious simply made her stomach turn today. She pushed away the plate she had fixed herself earlier and settled for a bowl of porridge instead. Scooping a spoonful into her mouth, she instantly regretted the decision as a wave of nausea overcame her.

She pressed a hand to her stomach and took a couple of slow deep breathes. She glanced around the room for any signs of nosy healers or overly helpful servants. The coast was clear, she bolted for the nearest bathroom and emptied the few contents of her stomach into the golden toilette.

Her shoulders shook and sweat had now beaded on her forehead. She shakily rose to her feet and counted to ten before deciding there wouldn't be a second wave and flushed the toilette. She splashed water on her face and then leaned against the sink momentarily for support. This had been her routine for the last couple of days. It was becoming increasingly evident that her fears might be true. She could very possibly be pregnant. She could ask the healers only she didn't really think it was a good time to add to the many things on Zuko's mind and there was no way she could trust those tattletales to keep their mouths shut if she was pregnant.

She looked at her face in the mirror and frowned. She wasn't ready to be pregnant, was she? She was practically still a child herself? How could they expect her to raise a kid of her own so soon?

She had to find out! She had to find out without causing Zuko any more stress. If only she could reach an apothecary she could get a tonic that would tell her but she couldn't get out of the palace. Who could she trust to go?

Suddenly it struck her and a slow smile curved her lips. Kaili. He probably wasn't going to like the task but she could trust him to keep quiet. He'd shown admirable loyalty to her since their conversation. He was servant to the Fire Lord first but if she asked him not to tell he wouldn't unless directly asked by Zuko. She figured the chances that Zuko would stop him in the hallway and ask him if he'd been out buying pregnancy test tonics for his wife were slim to none. Giddy with excitement over her idea Katara was quick to find Kaili, lounging in the library next to the breakfast nook.

He was never very far from her side even when she was stuck in the palace. She found it rather amusing actually. With her friends gone, Zuko hopelessly busy, and Azula missing Katara had been feeling more alone than ever. On an up note, Aang had visited for a while and Iroh had returned. He seemed to be talking sense back into his nephew and his reign of terror was lessening in severity but he was still too busy to invite her to a council meeting or ask her opinion on what should be done. It left her feeling annoyed and frustrated because she'd bet anything this all went back to their constant issue of gender inequality.

In those times she had sought out her shadow and had gotten to know him better. He didn't seem to care that she was a woman. The only barrier that she could think of between them was their difference in station and she was working on getting him to ignore that. She had shared stories about her past with him and he had told her about himself. Lately he'd been teaching her to navigate the hidden servant halls so that she could escape should something happen though he swore no harm would come to her so long as he could still draw breath.

This sort of talk usually led them back to who would have one their fight during the tournament had they not been interrupted which generally led to a laughter filled sparring session. Most days she won, though she suspected he did that on purpose. A part of her wished she had seen him and Zuko fight, it would have been interesting.

She chose to ignore the disapproving looks she got from passing councilors about all the time she spent in Kaili's company. Who else was she supposed to talk to? They wouldn't even let her out to see Soshi and the girls. They subtly suggested she spend her time with her ladies playing cards or Pia Sho. She responded with icy glares.

Smiling fondly at Kaili she approached with a look that said 'I need a favor.' His look was a cross between intrigued and weary at what the headstrong Queen could possibly be thinking. On more than one occasion she had tried to trick him into helping her sneak out of the palace for a while.

"I need you to go into town for me…secretly." Katara started.

"And why am I going 'secretly' into town?" He grinned.

"I need something. Something private, so you have to promise not to tell a soul or let anyone see you, okay?"

"Is this going to get me beheaded?"

She was silent thinking about it. "Not that I know of."

"What is it?"

"I need you to go to the apothecary…" She paused at his amused grin. "What?"

"This is about your baby." He chuckled.

"What? What baby? I'm not having a baby."

"Right, you just gag at the sight of food and throw up after barely getting a taste of it in your mouth. Also, based on what you've told me you seem to be more emotional than you're used to. Doesn't that seem odd?"

"I've been very stressed, I could just be ill you know."

"What, with the baby flu?"

"Just go get me something to prove I'm not pregnant."

"What if you are?"

"I'm not. I refuse to be."

"You're married Lady Katara. It's alright to be pregnant."

"That's not the point. We wanted to wait and I'm not raising a baby alone. If I have a baby I want Zuko to be a part of his or her life so we're waiting and stop calling me Lady Katara, it's just Katara."

"Since I like my head where it is I'll call you by your title, thanks." Kaili said with a cheeky grin. "I'll go get your tonic but I can tell you exactly what it'll reveal."

"You can't be sure of it."

He shrugged, leaving the room looking no less amused.

'I am not pregnant.' She thought worriedly. This was such bad timing.

- -

Azula lay on the floor trying to concentrate. Her mind was a whirling mess. She wasn't sure how they were doing it but they were somehow keeping her subdued with drugs. She'd refused the food thinking it was in there but that hadn't stopping the fog within her brain. She couldn't be sure if hearing Aang calling out to her was real or imagined. If it was real she could also feel his panic but she couldn't respond, she couldn't form a single straight thought. She couldn't reach him. It was like being stuck in complete darkness and he was trying to fight his way through but the drugs in her system made it impossible to connect.

She was going insane. She had never felt so dehydrated before in her life. She couldn't sleep, couldn't close her eyes. Whenever she did her father was there, mocking her and how far she had fallen.

"You could have been great." He would say. "We could have had it all but you ruined it. You ruined it by being weak."

A choked sob leapt from her throat. How had this happened? She was Azula. She was the Fire Nation princess. She used to be on top. She used to be so in control. Now she lay here on this dirt floor, unable to move, unable to think. The cell door was opened two times a day for meals. It used to be three but since she didn't eat it anyway they had ceased to bothering with trying to keep her well nourished.

She groaned, hearing increasingly familiar footsteps.

"Good afternoon princess." Kawamura's snide voice floated through the bars. "Your brother is in an absolute panic over your whereabouts. He's shut down the entire Fire Nation to look for you. It's such bad timing, his people are being murdered in their sleep but his first concern seems to be you. His popularity is falling fast. He's going to be so disappointed in you. After all, he trusted you to be better."

If she hadn't been dehydrated she would have told him exactly what she thought of him and his foul plot to ruin her relationship with her brother. Zuko loved her and this arrogant bastard was trying to steal that from her. She couldn't speak but she could give him a look that said "burn in hell."

"Don't worry, just a little more chaos and I'll send you back home. I hope your brother doesn't think you're responsible for all this. After all, you were your father's biggest fan." Kawamura's devious laughter echoed off of her cell walls as his shoes clonked away.

Azula grit her teeth. The moment she regained her strength, she was going after that guy and shooting him so full of lightening he'd be begging for her forgiveness.

- -

Aang was becoming desperate. He'd been searching for two weeks but Azula's mind was too foggy and distorted to figure out. What's wrong with her? Where was she? He'd been just about everywhere trying to find her but no one had seen her. His connection to her was so weak he wasn't sure he could rely on it. It was his only hope of finding her just now though and he couldn't give up.

When he slept, he saw her, still on the beach but everything was dried up. Azula lay alone in the empty basin where the ocean had once been. The sun stood high in the sky beating down on her parched skin. She was dying. Every night he ran to her and every time he got there she crumbled and turned to dust and then Fire Lord Ozai was before him, laughing, mocking his failure and then for a split second he could see her lying on a dirty cell floor, eyes staring into his looking dead. It was always the terror of those empty eyes that jolted him out of his sleep.

He tried to remember ever seeing cells like those. He couldn't be positive but something inside told him that was real. The Azula he had seen on the floor was the real Azula and the beach before told him she was dying inside. He needed to get to her before it was too late, before she crumbled and died.

Appa landed heavily outside the city of Ba Sing Se. Closing his eyes, Aang concentrated his hardest on their fleeting connection. He could feel her, he could feel her strongest here. She had to be in the city but where and why?

Aang shuddered as he entered the city of Ba Sing Se. Things had changed here, there was a different tone in to the city. He had to find King Kuei. He had heard that the King was nearly impossible to see just now. He was always holed up in his palace. Things here were about as bad as in the Fire Nation. There had been mild resentment over how lightly the Fire Nation got off in Omashu but from what Aang had heard there had been full out riots in the streets of Ba Sing Se. Half the people cried for revenge, the others for peace. The King could barely control his people.

Aang felt a chill race down his spine at the darkened, ravaged city. There were signs everywhere of fighting and yet no one was around at the moment. Or at least, he could see no one but felt eyes everywhere.

When he finally made it to the palace the guards looked weary and exhausted. Perhaps they had, had to put down another rebellion moments ago and that's why no one was in the streets. Aang tried to shrug it off and focus. Once admitted entry he searched for someone who could direct him to the King but everyone was scurrying around so busily he felt guilty contemplating interrupting. He surmised to find the King himself.

He wondered for some time until he finally heard voices. Moving towards the doors of the King's study he halted hidden in the shadows watching General Kawamura and Advisor Hiromu talk to the king.

"Really your highness, the only way to stop these revolts is to give the people what they want. Attack the Fire Nation, they are weak and distracted. Take back our lands and make them pay for our losses. How is a silly little marriage going to repair the damage to our city or mend the broken hearts of those who lost loved ones. You've let them off to easy." Kawamura said.

"It is perfect timing my lord. We could probably do it without losing a single man. The whole of the Fire Nation is searching for the Fire Lord's crazy sister. You needn't be cruel, just remove the Fire Lord from his throne and we shall but a true regent in his place, someone with our best interests at heart, someone like the good general, sire." Hiromu added.

"We are not attacking a friendly nation. We are at peace, the Fire Nation has given us no cause for war so we will not fight." Kuei answered.

"My Lord be reasonable." Hiromu started.

"No, I've heard enough. I am tired of your badgering. This is the last I want to hear of it. We will settle our own problems and we will not drag the Fire Nation into it." Kuei declared.

Kawamura's face was unreadable as he bowed to Kuei and let with a huff. Aang flattened himself against the wall to avoid being seen as Hiromu followed after. When he was sure they were gone, Aang scuttled into the room.

Bosco lay at the King's side allowing his head to be stoked absent mindedly.

"King Kuei." Aang said.

"You shouldn't be here Aang. It's not a good time." Kuei said without looking at him.

"Sir, what's going on here?" Aang asked, wanting a better understanding of what was happening to this city.

"I'm not even sure myself Aang. The only thing I know is that I am no longer safe here. There is plotting going on everywhere."

"Then you and Bosco have to leave again."

"No, I will not abandon my city again. I will stay and fight without Long Feng and the Dai Li who will protect my people."

Aang gave a sad nod. "I will help you but first I need some information from you. Have you heard anything at all about the Fire Lord's sister? I think she's somewhere in this city and I think she's in trouble. I need to find her. Can you help me?"

"I will see what I can do Aang. My forces are spread thin though." Kuei smiled sadly.

"That's all I can ask for." Aang bowed.