Chapter 45
What Now?

"So then, how do we get out of here Katara? If we're meant to trust in love and you simply refuse, won't we just be stuck in here forever?" Zuko groused. They'd been sitting on opposite sides of the tunnel brooding over their last conversation and Zuko was getting agitated. He couldn't believe she wanted to leave him. He loved her and she was just going to walk out of his life. Why did that always seem to happen to him? Why did everyone he love leave him? Well Azula hadn't really left him, she was taken so at least he had her and Mai, well he could never have her back she had her own life now and he was in love with Katara. His mother though…

"I'm not refusing to trust in love." Katara shot back.

"Yes you are. You don't believe that our love is enough to get us through the future so how could it possibly get us out of this cave. You say you love me but you're too afraid of getting hurt again to stay and be with me, to be with me and our baby. If this is your way of punishing me, fine, but what about the baby? You're not just leaving me alone. You're planning to abandon your own child." His voice had grown soft and Katara could see the tears collecting in his eyes.

"Zuko." Katara said softly trying to think of how to explain.

"NO! You have no idea what it's like. You have no idea what that's going to do to the baby. It hurts, Katara, for someone who is supposed to love you to abandon you. I'd almost rather you didn't explain because to me it just seems like you're being selfish."

"And you're not being selfish in completely disregarding how I feel?"

"How am I disregarding how you feel?"

"I'm not me when I'm at the palace. I'm pretending to be someone that I'm not so that I fit into your world. I was trying not to make waves but quite frankly, that's what I do. I'm a waterbender, I don't go around the rock I cut a new path through it."

"Right, that's what I'll tell our baby when he or she grows up and asks why you abandoned us." Zuko snapped.

"Zuko, I'm not abandoning you."

"I'm sorry, you're leaving until you have the baby, coming back, and then abandoning us. That's your plan isn't it? Do you have any idea why I shut people out Katara? It's because I'm used to being alone, having to do things for myself. You say you were lonely at the palace, I know what that's like. I wrote the book on being lonely, Katara. I don't want you to feel that way anymore than you do. I want to change things but I can't change what I don't know about."

"And you won't know about it when your guards shut me out."

"You're the Fire Lady, order them to let you through."

"I DID!" Katara shouted. "You have no idea how much I fought to get in to see you. I shouldn't have to do that, Zuko, I'm your wife!"

"Katara, from the bottom of my heart I am sorry. I am so very sorry for everything. Let me fix it, please. Please, don't leave me."

"Zuko, I have to."

"NO YOU DON'T!" Zuko cried. "You don't, you just want to. Well, fine then, FINE. Just go, I don't care what you do. I'm used to it by now. I was stupid to think you'd be different."

"Different from who?"

"Just leave me alone, Katara. You want me out of your life so I'm done."

Katara's eyes traveled over his rigid form. A frown creased her forehead as she tried to make sense of things. He had plenty of reasons to be angry but now she was being compared to someone and she had a feeling that she wasn't being justly presented in his mind.

- -

"Do you think they've talked things over yet?" Aang asked, sitting on the gravel staring at the mess of rocks that had fallen during the cave in.

"No idea. A connection to my brother would be handy right about now though." Azula murmured.

Aang leaned back from his sitting position and placed his hands behind him to keep him upright. He stared at the sky for a while.

"Your idea was insane." Aang grinned, turning his head to the side to look at Azula. He couldn't help the blush that rose to his cheeks at the sudden rush of fondness he felt for her. He'd never seen her like this though. She was lying on her back, her hair splayed around her and her arms thrown up on either side of her head. She was smiling, just enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. He had originally been surprised by how much she seemed to enjoy the simple things in life but now it had just fallen into the category of the many things he liked about her.

"Insane is my style." She grinned, not opening her eyes but chuckling at her own comment. Aang laughed as well. "Now I just need to devise the most painfully tortuous way possible to kill a man and I'll be all set."

Aang cringed at the flood of torture images, all staring General Kawamura, that flooded his mind. Her eyes opened and she cocked her head to the side with a questioning look.

"You don't approve?" She asked.

"Uh, I think the General has to stand trial for his crimes." Aang said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, I swore I would end that man for what he's done." Azula said, crossing her arms and adopting a look that reminded Aang of a stubborn child.

"You can't disregard the law Azula."

"Of course I can. I can plead temporary insanity and no one can dispute it because there are plenty of guards who will testify that I'm out of my mind and you to testify that I'm getting better. I'm thinking in a moment of insane rage I'll grab that jerkwad by the face and pump him so full of lightening that his eyes pop out." She grinned evilly at the thought.

"Erm, I'm not so sure that's what a good person would do."

"That's alright, I'm a good person in training, I'm allowed to have evil relapses."

"Um, how often do you plan to have these relapses?" Aang asked, fearing the answer.

"As often as necessary to ensure that the world is a better place." Azula smiled.

"Uh…" Aang wasn't quite sure what to say to that.

Azula snorted with laughter at the look on Aang's face. It was priceless.

'She's so pretty when she smiles.' Aang thought, watching her. Aang's eyes went wide as soon as the thought crossed his mind. Her laughter had stopped and he cringed realizing he hadn't blocked that thought from her. He blushed, laughing nervously as he slowly turned to face her.

She was sitting up now. Her eyes were on the ground beside her but he could detect the light blush that stained her cheeks.

"Er…" He tried to think of something to make the situation less embarrassing.

"Thank you." She whispered. "I, uh, I don't really get that a lot."

"You don't smile a lot." Aang said and then wanted to slap a hand over his mouth. He wasn't quite sure how she was going to take that.

"I'll try to smile more." She murmured, resting her chin on her drawn up knees and smiling to herself.

Aang wished her arms weren't wrapped around her knees right now. It was strange but to him it seemed the perfect time to hold her hand.

"Oh no!" Aang said, covering his flaming cheeks. He really had to remember to keep his thoughts to himself.

Azula stared at Aang for a moment and then transferred her gaze down to her hands. It would have been nice to have brought Ty Lee with her to tell her what to do. She had never really understood the whole hand holding thing in the past but suddenly the entire scenario sounded so appealing especially the image that came to mind. She wasn't quite sure if the picture was something she came up with or one of Aang's thoughts put she kind of like the simple pleasantness of it. Only briefly hesitating, she unwrapped one of her arms from around her legs and let it drop to her side.

Aang watched, holding his breath, as she balled her hand into an unsure fist. He breathed a sigh of relief as she finally laid her palms flat against the ground at the direct midpoint of the space between them. He couldn't explain why it made him so happy that she wanted to hold his hand too but he wasn't disputing it. His cheeks were flaming red by the time he slid his palm beneath her and slipped his fingers between hers. It was strange but right.

She felt the pleasant jolt of energy, which accompanied his touch, travel up her arm and smiled.

"I like you." Aang blurted out. She kind of liked the way even the tips of his ears turned red when he was really embarrassed.

"I kind of like you too." She whispered.

A goofy grin crossed over his face before he turned his gaze back out over the horizon.

- -

"Zuko, where are you going?" Katara sighed.

"I don't know." Zuko replied curtly.

Katara scrambled to her feet as he stalked into the darkness.

"You're going to get yourself lost." She said from behind him.

"Well, it's better than just sitting around here." He said without turning around.

"Zuko these caves are endless, we'll never find our way out." She continued.

"Whose fault is that?" He snapped.

She snapped her mouth shut before her angry retort could escape. Fighting more wasn't going to help them right now.

"Zuko, I know you're mad at me but getting yourself lost in here isn't going to fix things. We need a plan."

"Well, while you come up with a plan I'm going to find a way out." Zuko said matter-of-factly.

"Zuko, stop it. We need to be logical."

"Listen Katara, while you share plenty of similarities with my mother, apparently including her train of thought, you're not. So please stop trying to tell me what to do."

Katara's lips parted, prepared to ask what on earth he was talking about when the pieces finally clicked into place. 'Oh no.' Her eyes softened as the guilt crashed over her. It all made sense now. He felt she was doing the same thing his mother had done. She wanted to deny it but how could she? No matter how she looked at it now it did seem she was abandoning him and their baby. Would her baby end up as hurt and angry as Zuko had been because of her?

"Zuko." She called.

"Katara, it's clearly impossible to start this separation thing now because you can't firebend so you are more than welcome to keep following me but as far as the talking goes it might be easier on both of us if we just end that now." Zuko said turning around.

She was too shocked to speak. Her mouth opened and closed trying to get her brain to start. She certainly hadn't been expecting him to say something like that. Looking into his eyes now she couldn't figure out how she hadn't expected it.

At one time his eyes had darkened with lust at the sight of her now all she was anger. His gaze was piercing and hateful she saw the pain she had caused there and she wanted to run into his arms and beg for his forgiveness.

"Thank you." Zuko said curtly, taking her silence as agreement rather than shock. Turning on his heels he resumed stalking through the tunnels.

- -

"So what do you think is going to happen?" Ty Lee asked, swinging her feet around.

"What's going to happen with what?" Mai asked, staring out the window.

"With Zuko and Katara." Ty Lee said.

"How should I know?" Mai muttered.

"I don't know. I just figure, you know him best."

"There's no way to know." Mai said. "He loves her so I doubt that he'd be the one to end it but there's no telling what Katara will do. She's very upset right now."

"If they…If they, you know, split it…do you, uh, do you think you and Zuko will..?" Ty Lee stumbled over her question.

"I don't know, Ty Lee, I don't know anything. There's a part of me that wants that and a part of me that is disgusted that I would even consider wishing that on them. Zuko loves his wife and it's terrible of me to even consider a future with him. Please don't ask me about it. I feel guilty enough as it is." Mai whispered.

"I'm sorry, Mai. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just wondering. It just seems like everyone's finding love but…"

"But not me." Mai whispered. "I know."

Ty Lee pulled her friend into a hug. It had to be difficult for her to be a part of all this.