ooOoo
The Winchesters belong to Kripke Enterprises and the CW, not me.
Adventures in Shopping
Chapter 6 - Oh Dear, the Pharmacy
Sam and Dean wandered the grocery store aisles, well aware that they were being watched. Dean pushed the cart, playing the Lil Missis to the hilt and Sam was Big Daddy. Their audience consisted of various wandering women and a store security guard who kept popping up at the end of whatever aisle the Winchesters happened to be in.
"Do you think someone complained?" Dean asked.
Sam looked at him in surprise. "What in the world would someone complain about? We're just shopping. "
Sam stepped closer. "What would they complain about? This?" as he buried his hands down the back of Dean's pants. "Maybe" Dean squeaked as those giant hands circled around in front and found gold.
Someone cleared their throat and Sam looked over his shoulder. "Can I help you?" Sam asked the security guard.
"I wish," the man replied. "But I really need this job. Look, you guys just move it along and try to keep it clean. I suggest you take your hands out of his pants before the manager shows up."
They moved along, picking out cereal and peanut butter. They argued over strawberry or grape jelly or jam and Sam settled the argument with a husky whisper in Dean's ear. Who knows what was suggested as an alternate use for jelly? Sam was very inventive and Dean blushed.
They turned into a new aisle and found themselves at the Pharmacy.
"Oh look, Dean, nirvana." Sam exclaimed. "What do we need?"
Dean reached out and fingered the lubes. "We always need lube. Look at all the different kinds. What should we get?"
Sam looked up from his inspection of condoms. "Whatever comes in a large, economy size?"
There was a giggle and Dean realized they had a cheering section. The Zucchini lady was there and the baker. Some of the women who had cheered and whistled at the demonstration in the Meat Department were also lurking.
One nice looking lady in a business suit squatted down beside Sam. "May I suggest you try the flavored condoms? "
"I like the banana but I also hear that the spearmint is pretty flavorful." She stood back up and other women started calling out their favorites too.
Dean was stunned.
"Of course," a lady chimed in. "Maybe you should check for size." She stood beside Sam and looked him up and down. "He's a big one. Let's check." She started to move forward with a bevy of her cohorts behind her, reaching for Sam's belt.
The store Manager appeared out of nowhere, the Security Guard trailing behind.
"All right, that's enough. I think you guys need to check out now before there's a riot."
The man took Dean's shopping cart away just as Dean was tossing in a selection of condoms and rolled it to a checkout counter.
After paying and getting their purchases bagged, the Manager walked them to the front doors.
"Just so you are aware, you are banned from this grocery store for life. Thank you for shopping at Ralphs."
Behind the man a chorus of boos rang out from the assembled shoppers.