It never occurred to me that Mitsukuni would fall for her the way the others
have. We spent so much time watching the rest of the club change and develop
feeling for Haruhi, we have looked at every angle possible to even consider
ourselves. I may not use words as readily as the others but I do watch them.
Even after watching them eat ice cream and study, I only observed their
camaraderie. How he giggled and blushed during conversation, and how he would
sneak glances at her, most likely without him even knowing he did so.
Mitsukuni smothers affection amongst all the people he has ever cared for, so
I was slightly surprised by his revelation.
No, that's not right. I was surprised by the kiss he gave her. It was a bit
too far, even for him to do such a thing.
Then he asked me that question. How did I feel about the girl?
My response at the time was not to give a response. I shrugged and told him
simply, "I don't know."
He didn't seem to be worried. We've known each other for so long now that he
will let me come to my own conclusions and in time I will give him the
answer.
I need to think.
Kendo training always helps me think. Which is why I was currently in the
dojo, wearing rather comfortable clothing and working on my stance and
strike.
Step, strike, reset. Step, strike, reset. A simple pattern but it will change
soon.
I felt my body move to the rhythm of the discipline while my mind concentrated
on the question at hand. How do I feel about Haruhi?
She's small. She's kind, warm and she looks past superficial flaws. These are
things Mistukuni and I both observed.
Haruhi's brave, too brave sometimes. She never asks for help even though we
are here for her. "I want to protect her." I said between a stance
transition.
Haruhi speaks with such a direct manner. There are no secrets when she looks
into your eyes and tells you just what she thinks. She's honest. "I want her
to speak with me" Slipped out between breaths.
"She's beautiful." I paused after a strike. I find Haruhi beautiful. It's
true, I'm sure but all beings with such pure hearts are beautiful.
My shinai lowered as my brow furrowed. My mind recreated her features; her
eyes, her smile, her cheeks (of which I watched as Mistukuni kiss), the curve
of her neck from under her chin... the lips.
I cleared my throat and took up my stance again. No, I will not think of her
lips.
"Takashi!" Mistukuni came running up to me after the last class of the day. He
grinned brightly as he slowed to a stop just before my feet. "You don't have
Kendo today. Do you think we should go to Host Club early?"
I nodded with a "Hmm" in agreement.
Stuffing my hands into my pockets I followed along as Mitsukuni chattered
about his plans for the game. He was thrilled about it. I couldn't blame him.
He has feelings for Haruhi even if he doesn't know exactly what they are just
yet. But I didn't tell him that I spent all night thinking about her and what
I could do if I were to join in along side him.
I too wanted to know where I stood in her heart.
"Well, what do you think?" He asked me when he was done talking. Unfortunately
I didn't hear everything he had said which had me feeling ashamed. Hurting
Mistukuni's feelings was out of the question for me.
Slowly I nodded my head. "Do what you think is best."
"Takashi? Are you feeling well?" His eyes grew concerned. I hated that look
when it was directed at me. He really shouldn't worry about me, I was here to
care for him. Not the other way around.
We reached the door to the third music room and instead of putting Mitsukuni
in anymore worry I looked him right in the eyes and said. "I want to join the
game."
The giggles that escaped Mitsukuni were infectious. So much so that I felt
myself smile at him.
He reached out for the door handle and let us in. Luckily we were early,
Haruhi and the twins had not yet arrived. Which for us was good, I had time to
set up Mistukuni's table... and plan out how to execute my bid for her
attention.
I had a gift for her. Just like her, it was practical. The poor girl is
stressed so often. Between dealing with the high energy of the twins and the
over exuberance of Tamaki. She needs a break.
I do not have access to a spa or any sort. She would be uncomfortable to go to
a place like that, her aversion to the water park proved that.
Instead I planned to offer her a close retreat, a place where she could
meditate and relax. A place where she could clear her mind of school work and
personal struggle.
The rest of the members finally arrived and moved to their respective tables.
We hosted as usual. Mistukuni was beside me, charming all his guests as usual.
He commented to me and I 'hmmed' in the right places.
But soon I found myself standing and walking away from my group. Mitsukuni
said something and the girls cooed in response. He had a talent with girls
that was rather impressive.
A talent that I didn't have but that wasn't going to stop me from approaching
Haruhi. She was sitting alone since her last guest had just left. There was
nothing to stop me from offering her my gift.
"Mori Senpai?" She asked when she saw me come up to her side. I reached into
my pocket and handed her a key. She blinked at it, then back up at me. Her
questioning gaze burned me until I felt the words come from within.
"My dojo has a meditation room. If you need to escape." My eyes flicked away
in embarrassment. I didn't except that nor did I expect my heart to quicken
it's pace. When I finally looked back at her, she was grinning at me.
That beautiful bright smile gave me courage and I smiled back at her. She made
me feel light. Only Mistukuni has ever made me feel that way before. This,
however, was different. There was something more behind it.
Taking a step back and turning away, I found myself walking back to my table,
back to Mitsukuni. He was surrounded by girls who looked to me like they were
comforting him.
For a brief moment he caught my eye and unbeknownst the the girls, he shot me
a sly grin.
- -
On our way home, Mistukuni was reclining back with his Usa-chan in his arms.
He played with the fur around the ears to hide the fact that he was in deep
concentration. I watched him for a few moments before I gazed out the window
of our limo.
"So what did you give her?" He asked me, breaking our comfortable silence and
drawing my attention back to him.
He hadn't looked up at me and was still staring in concentration at Usa-chans
ears. Though I doubt he was actually seeing it.
After a moment I turned away to look out the window again, "I gave her the key
to the meditation room."
"Oh?" He asked, his voice high with curiosity.
"She needs calm in her world." I replied casually looking back at him. He bit
his lip for a moment, then nodded.
"Yes, she needs to escape." He paused, picked at the fur some more then looked
back up to me. He watched for any change in my stoic portrayal, for some hint
of how I am really feeling.
He won't see it. I don't even know what I should be feeling.
~BD-Z