CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Alex Eames had seen and experienced a lot in her professional and personal lives. She'd seen and experienced much of that in her partnership with Bobby Goren, a relationship that obliterated the lines between the professional and the personal. She'd seen his hurt—even as he tried to hide it—when her damnable transfer request rose from the hole where it should've stayed. She saw his guilt and fear when she woke in the hospital to find him at her bedside after her kidnapping. She saw his pain and terror after his time in Tates. She saw his grief and confusion after his mother's death. Even in the midst of her anger, she saw his fear and bafflement after his undercover work brought him back to work and briefly into her bad graces. And she'd seen all of those emotions when she investigated his brother's death and discovered Declan Gage's involvement and betrayal of Bobby. But she'd never seen Bobby or anyone suffer as much as he did after his torture at the hands of Linley and Caldwell and his withdrawal from drugs was in many ways the worst part of that. The hospital staff was kind and good, but Bobby still suffered horribly. He begged Alex to bring him something, anything, to help. He hallucinated, at several terrible points confusing Alex with his mother. He saw his dead brother, Nicole, and other demons.

"It'll get better," Huang promised her. "I have to say…He's one of the most remarkable…The doctors and nurses in the rehab unit…They've never seen a patient who hasn't lashed out at them…"

"It's so hard to watch him go through this," Alex said.

She didn't have to watch him all the time. There were moments when Bobby desperately begged her to leave him, and she did, at least until the combination of exhaustion and medication left him unconscious. Then she'd slip back into his room and sit at his bedside. The minutes blurred into hours, the hours into days, until time ceased to exist for her. She lost contact with the rest of the world. She left a few messages for Ross in the first days of Bobby's hospitalization, but turned her phone off after that. She finally encountered the Captain when she made a rare visit to the hospital cafeteria.

"Alex," Ross said warmly. "Let me buy you a cup of coffee."

"I know," Alex said as they faced each other over the terrible coffee. "I look awful. I feel marginally better than I look."

Ross smiled sadly. "You look more than fine, especially considering what you've been through. How is he?"

"Better." It was the truth. Bobby wasn't good yet, but he was better.

"What happened? Huang told me very little…"

"Bobby wasn't as good as we thought he was," Alex said cautiously.

"I gathered that," Ross replied. "But what happened to send him back here?"

Alex stared at her coffee.

"Look, Alex…I want to help him…But I have to know what's going on…"

"He…The painkillers…" Alex wasn't sure how much or what she should tell Ross. "After he testified before the Grand Jury…He realized he…He was in trouble…And he stopped taking them…And had a…a bad reaction." She realized that was one of the understatements of the year.

Ross looked at her. "He realized…"

"He threw all his medications away…Like I said…He knew he was in trouble…He didn't do the smartest thing to deal with it, but he did something…"

"I had no idea," Ross said. "I thought he was doing fine…Or at least as fine as anyone who went through what he did could be…He's certainly not the first cop with a problem…And he had better excuses than almost anyone…" Ross sighed. "I need to know, Alex…Was his work compromised in any way?"

Anger flared in Alex, but she managed to hold her tongue. "No," she said sharply and stood.

"Alex…Please understand…We need to protect…"

"Protect who? The Brass? The FBI? A couple of psycho serial killers? Certainly not Bobby Goren."

"Alex…"

"We let him down. We didn't protect him from Caldwell and Linley. And then…After…We didn't help him…We just used him…" Alex leaned heavily on a chair.

"Alex…We tried to protect him. It doesn't help that he's one of the people he needs protection from." Ross spoke calmly. "I feel bad too…I failed him too."

Alex stared at the table. "I'm sorry," she said. "That was unfair…"

"But understandable," Ross said. He stood. "I'm sorry, Alex, but I need to get back to One PP…Don't worry about being here…It's covered."

Guilt replaced Alex's anger. "I'm sorry, Captain…I yell at you and I'm not even pulling my own weight…"

"You're doing what I want and need you to do," Ross replied. "You're doing your job…And it may get tougher."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked warily.

Ross sighed. "Both Caldwell and Linley have hinted to the FBI that there are more bodies out there. In Caldwell's case, it's probably a ploy to cut a deal or make himself important. But with Linley…Well, it was never really certain how many victims Sebastian had…"

Alex felt sick. She sat down. "Those two…I can't think of a word vile enough to describe them…They want to talk to Bobby…"

Ross nodded slowly. "The FBI says they're obsessed with him…The one that got away…"

"Bobby can't…He can't," Alex mumbled.

"I know," Ross assured her. "I've told that to the FBI. Huang has told them that. I'm about to go to a meeting where Huang and I will tell them that again."

"Bobby can't find out," Alex said fiercely. "He'd do it…He'd do it for the families…He'd even do it for those psychos and Declan Gage…" She stared at her hands on the table. "That is…If he's the same Bobby Goren he was before he went through all of this…"

"The Goren that I saw when he first came back," Ross said. "The one I saw testify before the grand jury…He had all of Goren's best qualities…And those are considerable. Let him know that I want him back. And I'm fighting for him. Several Captains would like to add him to their squads."

"Yea, now that he's the Golden Boy," Alex said. "All it took was for him to be tortured nearly to death."

"It's not just that, Alex," Ross said kindly. "I'm sorry…I have to go…"

"Captain…"

Ross turned back to her.

"Thank you…"

END CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX