Mistukuni told me his plans for Haruhi's birthday, and I will admit they were
very thoughtful. He stood a very good chance of being her favorite in this
game. Though for some reason, my chest tightens when I think of him winning
her favor. Just like it does when I think of the others in the same situation.
Things had become complicated for me. Before this began, I regarded her as a
friend, or so I thought. After witnessing the kiss between her and Mitsukuni,
not the peck on the cheek but the real kiss, I felt cold.
I personally won't push so hard in this game as to make her do something she
wasn't ready for. A kiss is something that needs a moment, the right moment.
This game may not be the right moment.
But, then again, this is complicated. I do want to kiss her. I've already come
to that conclusion.
When I arrived at my dojo after school, I was surprised to see the door
slightly ajar. That feeling soon faded when I realized that the sliding door
to the meditation room was also ajar. I walked across the tatami mats in the
large room to where I knew Haruhi was.
I opened it slightly just to make certain I was right. Sure enough, there she
was kneeling in middle of the room facing the small bonsai plants on the table
to the right of the door I was screen I was standing behind. I was unable to
move, because I was entranced by this quiet moment.
She studied the plants, each with their own twists and turns while the largest
of them had a replica of a bridge with a painted stream and sprigs of fake
flowers around the base. Her gaze drifted thoughtfully before she settled back
down on her heels.
She slumped over breathing deeply, trying to clear herself of the outside
world. She had her hands on her lap, slightly fidgeting with the edge of her
school blazer. She frowned and lifted her fingers to brush lightly against her
lips before dropping them down again.
It looked like she was still thinking about Mitsukuni's kiss.
For some reason that thought made me feel a pang in my chest and a breath of
surprise escaped my lips. The sound was enough to alert Haruhi to my
presence.
"Mori-senpai?" she asked, rising to her feet.
"I'm sorry," I muttered before sliding the door close and turning to walk out
of the dojo.
"No, wait." She had slide it open again and was holding it gently while her
head poked from the entry. "Please. Can..." She frowned and looked down before
she continued. ".. Can I talk with you a while?"
That innocent, unusual request stopped me in my tracks. I looked at her and
noticed for the first time that her eyes were slightly red. Concern was the
first feeling the flooded through me, then sadness as I realized she must be
having conflicting feelings. But about who?
No, I will not be apart of the game right now. I will talk with her and make
sure she is ok.
She had backed into the room again when she realized I was going to join her
after all. Sliding the door closed once again, but this time joining her in
kneeling in front of the bonsai.
A few moments of silence passed between us before she even uttered a sound,
which was a disbelieving attempt at a laugh. She wasn't exactly a giggle type
of person like Mitsukuni, nor was she the kind to snicker like the twins but
she did have a laugh that was solely hers. Like it was an incredulous
chuckle.
She subsided soon enough and shook her head. "Mori-senpai, have you ever
fallen for anyone before?"
I blinked in surprise. Of all the things I didn't expect her to ask me that,
but I owed it to her to be honest.
Nodding slowly once, I said, "I have had feelings for someone before."
"How about for more than one person?" She asked.
This made me think a moment. I answered her with feelings instead of fallen
for. Only now did I think how different those two statements could be.
I cared for Mitsukuni, this much was well known. I cared for Haruhi, this I
just realized. I don't know if the feelings are the same.
Haruhi was looking forward when I glanced down on her.
"You are having conflicting emotions" I said calmly stating the observation
that came a clear as daylight.
She nodded and sighed.
"I have... a date... or rather, two dates coming up." She said, but I held my
tongue on the date I knew she would be having with Mistukuni. I didn't want to
break his plans. I remained silent and let her continue talking."Then, there
was the kiss."
"Mitsukuni." I said, confirming that I did, along with the rest of the club,
see it happen.
"Yeah, and also Kaoru and Hikaru." She said softly, I almost didn't hear it. I
felt that pang again but kept silent. "I just don't know what to do."
I let the time slide between us, first allowing her to think through her
problem and second allowing my heart to calm down. She had been kissed by more
than just Mitsukuni and that thought terrified me. The time that passed did
help, along with the fact we were in this room. I've always been good at
keeping myself calm but this has become somewhat of a challenge.
I stood up beside her and took a few steps to one end of the room that lead
outside. I slid the screen opened and said, "Did you see the garden?"
I looked back at her and noticed she was shocked by my abrupt movement. She
stood up, considered me a moment before following me outside. Something in the
way she looked at me made my heart squeeze, but this time in a good way. I
felt myself smile at her, which she returned.
She became lost in the sights of the garden. It was not unlike any other
garden but it did have a sense of serenity around it. The entire dojo was all
about centering oneself and just as I hoped, it brought some balance to her.
She smiled as she breathed in the clear air, and hummed when she smelled the
florals that were in bloom. She looked so happy.
"Haruhi," I said after our second walk around the path. She stopped and looked
at me expectantly. I reached down and took her hand and she willingly let me
lead her to the bridge over the stream. I heard her gasp when she looked over
the edge and saw the fish. I smiled again at her exuberance and because once
again she laughed that unique laugh of hers.
"Thank you." She said to me, drawing my attention to her and out of the
thought I had of holding her close to me.
I nodded down on her and wished so hard that I could pull her close and kiss
her. Instead, I settled for leaning on the rail of the bridge with my elbows.
The view was beautiful here and I did enjoy sharing it with her.
As for my decision not to pursue her today, it was taken away from me, because
reached over with her hand to touch my cheek and turn my attention to her. She
lifted herself onto her toes and let her lips touch mine softly.
She didn't break contact but then again, neither did I. Nor did either of us
press for anything deeper. This simple touch of the lips was magic, innocent
even. When after several moments had passed she let herself fall back on her
her feet and looked straight ahead.
I grinned at her, "Thank you." I said softly, breathlessly.
Haruhi blushed, possibly embarrassed by what she had done.
No matter who she ends up choosing now, I felt honored to have had that tender
touch from her. I have to show her what that means to me somehow.
"I think I should head back now." She said a little nervously. "Thanks for
letting me use the room, um.. would you like the key back?"
She searched her pocket frantically before she found it and held it out to me.
Her eyes wouldn't look into mine. Understandable.
I reached out and closed her fingers around the key. "Use the room anytime, my
gift to you."
She nodded and headed back to the dojo to grab her bag.
I finally figured out what to give her for her birthday. It is simple and it
just might make her happy. I looked over the edge of the bridge (which was a
direct replica of the one on the bonsai in my meditation room) and smiled.
I am sure she would like that