Chapter 02
Slowly opening his eyes Tuvok registered the presence of another next to the bed he was lying on and turned his head.
"Captain…"
Captain Janeway looked at him with sorrow in her eyes and Tuvok tried to remember what may have happened to put it there. But his mind came up blank. "Tuvok."
The vulcan registered the fact that she wasn't touching him like she had all the other times to comfort him and maybe reassure herself that her friend was still there. "Captain, I can't seem to remember what happened after discussing the nebular with you."
Sincere blue eyes looked onto brown confused, "You don't remember attacking Chakotay or fleeing in the Jeffries tubes?"
The normally emotionless eyes widened when Tuvok heard this, "I attacked the Commander?"
"Yes…"
"Is that the reason I am contained within this forcefield?" It would be standard procedure and would also explain why his Captain hadn't touched him.
Now he seemed to have discovered something as Janeway turned her head and pain contorted her face. "Particular…"
Having enough of these half truths Tuvok looked at her sternly, "Captain, I would be very grateful if you told me what happened. All of what happened."
Shaking her head Kathryn tried to make a decision, "Are you sure about this, Tuvok? Once I tell you there will be no going back."
The warning made him falter for a moment before he decided that he had to know what happened, what he had done. "I am sure."
Sighing Kathryn sat on a chair placed next to the bed and Tuvok turned on his side to watch her. Never had he seen the Captain this exhausted and filled with pain.
"While on the bridge you kept spacing out. Chakotay tried to send you to the doctor when you suddenly behaved violently against him. You fled into the turbolift and managed to evade us until you arrived at engineering. Something seemed to pull you there."
Unease filtered through his shields as Tuvok tried to remember this incident and again found nothing.
"You entered and after cursing B'Elanna you grabbed Lieutenant Vorik…" she faltered. It was difficult for her to describe the pain he had almost caused and again Kathryn's eyes wandered to the other vulcan still lying asleep on the other end of the infirmary.
If possible Tuvok would have paled. 'Vorik? Did I kill him?' Pain assaulted him at the thought and again he felt his bond to his wife thinning even more. "Captain?"
Some of the uncertainty he felt must have shone through his voice as her head whirled back to him from the point her eyes had been focused on. Nervously wringing her hands she continued, "You grabbed him and tried to… to…" swallowing down the grief at the knowledge of causing her friend pain she continued, "You tried to force a bond on him, to rape his unwilling mind, Tuvok."
'force a bond…rape…' The words echoed in his head, his mind and his heart. Tuvok lay back down and tried to control the pain, grief and anger at this accusations. Surely this wasn't true! It couldn't be! He would never do THAT to anybody, especially not Vorik… 'Then why don't you remember? This is Kathryn Janeway you are talking to! You know you can trust her implicitly!'
Kathryn saw the tremors running through Tuvok and felt her heart break. Shortly before he closed his eyes she saw them filling with tears, something she had always thought impossible for a controlled race like the vulcans. "Tuvok, we know that it's not your fault. The Doctor told us that you still had two years until your Pon Farr. Something influenced you to…", his eyes opened and fixed her with a glare.
"To attack my Commander? To harm another vulcan like that? To betray my innermost feelings for Vorik like this? That may be, Captain, but it is no excuse! I hurt him, maybe even scarred him for the rest of his life… And I can't even remember it! I don't remember what happened to make me act like that!"
Standing up and backing away from the snarling vulcan the only thing aside from the self-hatred in Tuvok's words that registered was, 'betray my innermost feelings for Vorik'. The emotions shown by her friend shook her to the core. This wasn't normal behavior for any vulcan, despite one in the middle of Pon Farr. "What are your feelings for Vorik, Tuvok?" Kathryn gently asked after Tuvok calmed down.
Sneering he replied, "It doesn't matter anymore, does it? He hates him as is his right to!"
"Please answer the Captain, Tuvok." The gentle voice coming from behind them shocked them both and while Tuvok tried to sit up fully Kathryn whirled around. Vorik was sitting on his bed, the knees drawn up to his chest and the blanket clutched in his fists.
Unable to see the other vulcan Tuvok lay back down and closed his eyes, "Please. Vorik, let it be."
"I can't… I can't forget your touch. I have longed for it during my Pon Farr just to be denied. And when I made up my mind to try and purge those feelings you try to force me." Vorik spoke softly, never rising his voice or the gaze fixed on his hands.
Shocked Tuvok opened his eyes, longing to see the younger vulcan, "You longed for me?"
"Yes, I did. Since I saw you the first time my mind seemed to long for yours, my soul screamed for you and my body burned for your touch… But what you gave me just now was cold, empty and hurtful. I never want to feel it again!"
Pain lanced through his heart as his mind registered the rejection. Darkness threatened to overwhelm him as his blood began to burn anew. Longing to make the reluctant vulcan his, to possess him and take what was rightfully his!
Tuvok didn't hear the words spoken between the Captain and the Doctor, he only registered her leaving and the deactivation of the force-field. Rolling himself onto the floor Tuvok stayed crushed there as he saw a figure still inside the infirmary. But instead of the doctor as Tuvok had expected it was Vorik.
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Vorik woke up to the sound of the Captain's voice. Memories flooded his mind and almost made him cry in anguish. The next thing he heard was the voice of Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. He wanted to hide himself away so he would never be found when the words finally penetrated the fog.
"Captain?" Never before had Vorik heard the elder vulcan sounding this uncertain.
"…grabbed him and tried to… to…You tried to force a bond on him, to rape his unwilling mind, Tuvok." Grief and pain were evident in the Captain's voice as well.
"Tuvok, we know that it's not your fault. The Doctor told us that you still had two years until your Pon Farr. Something influenced you to…" Outside influence? Could that be true?
"…attack my Commander? To harm another vulcan like that? To betray my innermost feelings for Vorik like this? That may be, Captain, but it is no excuse! I hurt him, maybe even scarred him for the rest of his life… And I can't even remember it! I don't remember what happened to make me act like that!" Pity spread through Vorik as he not only heard the helplessness but pain in Tuvok's voice.
"What are your feelings for Vorik, Tuvok?" Surprised Vorik sat up, going over the last part of the dialog he registered what the Captain had picked up immediately. 'My innermost feelings for Vorik'
When Tuvok answered her by snarling, "It doesn't matter anymore, does it? He hates him as is his right to!" Vorik decided that maybe there was a chance to make things right.
"Please answer the Captain, Tuvok." Drawing his knees up to hide the uncertainty he felt he clenched his fists into the blanket when the Captain fixed him with her sharp gaze.
He saw Tuvok lay down and close his eyes, "Please. Vorik, let it be."
Shaking his head Vorik replied, "I can't… I can't forget your touch. I have longed for it during my Pon Farr just to be denied. And when I made up my mind to try and purge those feelings you try to force me." The emotions almost overwhelmed him but Vorik managed to keep his voice even.
"You longed for me?" Why did Tuvok sound so shocked? Had Vorik not gone to him to receive advise during his Pon Farr? Hadn't the elder rejected him when advising his to meditate?
Deciding to be truthful Vorik answered, "Yes, I did. Since I saw you the first time my mind seemed to long for yours, my soul screamed for you and my body burned for your touch… But what you gave me just now was cold, empty and hurtful. I never want to feel it again!" Shaking from the abyss that tried to claim him Vorik didn't register his words taken as rejection rather than a demand for a promise.
Vorik gasped when suddenly his mind was seized by darkness and pain. Not his own, but Tuvok's…
Deciding that the older vulcan was quickly succumbing to the dark influence Vorik decided to make sure Tuvok fought with him against it. Seizing the moment he asked the Doctor to deactivate the fore-field and after finally managing to talk the Captain into leaving the younger vulcan found himself alone with the half crazed violent Tuvok.
Seeing the other roll onto the floor Vorik decided to remain still and quiet as not to draw attention onto himself. But when those shockingly pain and lust filled eyes focused on him fear crept into him. 'Remember, Vorik. He has some kind of feelings for you, if you can keep him calm he probably won't hurt you.'
Still unsure he waited until the other had made up his mind and slowly started walking towards him.
As always Vorik was captivated by the grace and fluidness Tuvok emitted during his movement. Watching mesmerized Vorik barely registered the fact that Tuvok had stopped right in front of him and was slowly reaching out with his hand. The darkness swirling behind these eyes spoke of the intentions… Vorik reacted by slowly lacing their fingers together until their hands were pressed together in an equivalent of a human embrace.
Tuvok's shocked gaze landed on their hands and the darkness receded bit for bit when the expected rejection didn't come.
Leaning forward Tuvok made the first move and kissed Vorik. The passion and longing in the kiss almost burnt too hot for the younger to endure. But when still no rejection followed Tuvok calmed down and gentled the kiss until both were getting lost in the mutual joy and happiness.
Tuvok only broke the kiss when he felt the need for air become undeniable and panted into Vorik's ear, "Are you sure? I won't be able to stop if…"
"Shh, I don't want you to stop. But I ask you to be gentle. It is my first time." Blushing Vorik looked down only to feel his face captured in firm hands and his mouth claimed by Tuvok.
Panting for breath Tuvok released the other, "I am honored that you will have it with me, Vorik. And don't ever be ashamed for your feelings while being with me, I like to see you showing emotions." Nipping at the pointy ears within his reach his arousal surged at the moan his actions earned him and the deepening blush.
In the back of his mind he felt his wives acknowledgment of their breaking bond, when with a sudden snap his mind was freed. Not one to hide from his new bond mate he gently kissed the tempting eyebrow before pressing their lips together, "I love you, Vorik."
Vorik's heart rejoiced at this and after taking hold of Tuvok's hands and raising them to his melting points he replied, "I love you too, Tuvok." Closing his eyes he welcomed the mental touch of his bondmate.
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Pacing her ready room Kathryn Janeway worried about the happenings in the infirmary.
"Kathryn, please love, sit down. You're making me dizzy." Chakotay tried to make her smile but failed as she turned to him with wide wet eyes.
"What if it was a mistake, Chak? Did I just leave one of the crew to be hurt by a friend? Will they both come out unscarred?"
"Kathy, Vorik asked you to leave, didn't he? He seems to have an idea of what he has to do. Leave it to him to handle this situation."
Reluctantly nodding she asked, "Any word from the Doctor or the science team?"
"No neither Harry nor Tom have reported anything exceptional, yet." Chakotay stood up from his place on the couch and walked over to his Captain and lover. "They will be back soon. Come and sit with me. I will give you a massage against your headache."
Surprised she raised her eyebrow at that, "How did you know that I had a headache?"
Gently tracing the skin around her eyes and drawing a line up to her forehead he replied, "Your eyes are telling me this, love." With that he pulled her to the couch and managed to distract her from the worry both of them felt.
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Hours later Chakotay and Janeway made their way to the infirmary. The expedition team had discovered that the nebular seemed to spread a radiation that reacted with vulcan chemistry, resulting in them going into Pon Farr. The doctor had pronounced it save for Lieutenant Vorik to leave the infirmary as he only recently experienced the Pon Farr and wouldn't be influenced by this.
When the Captain had informed him of the fact that she had left the infirmary just after him he was furious and worried about the young lieutenant. He practically ordered the Captain to go and make sure that both vulcans were unharmed.
Now standing in front of the still locked infirmary with Chakotay she swallowed the fear of what they would find.
When the door hissed open she felt her eyes quickly covered by her lover. Irritated she tried to free herself, "Chakotay!" she hissed at him.
Chakotay meanwhile couldn't help but stare at them image in front of him. The vulcans had long left the bed and were lying on top of their blanket on the floor. Their bodies pressed together with Tuvok lying between Vorik's legs, shallowly thrusting his hips foreward and devouring the panting mouth beneath his own.
The Commander could tell by the amount of semen that this wasn't their first round of lovemaking. Deciding to give the newly bonded pair privacy he lead the irritated Captain outside before releasing her.
When the door hissed shut again Kathryn prepared to snarl at her lover only to find herself pressed against that very door with her legs around his hips and his lower body grinding into hers.
Forgetting why she had been about to call him on his behavior and where exactly they were she let him devour her.
Epilogue
Two days later both vulcans were allowed to leave the infirmary only to find that the Captain had arranged for them to move into their new quarters should they want to.
"Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Captain. We will move our belongings there this afternoon," Tuvok said while looking grateful at his friend. Since their bonding Tuvok felt the constant arousal of his mate, it had never been like this with T'Pring, and it left him feeling overwhelmed. Not that he didn't constantly try to touch his mate, with his hands or mind…
But to be able to finally have the privacy both of them desired to consume their bond again and again and again… Tuvok shook his head as Vorik's fingers slowly rubbed his knuckles. His mate's very presence made his feelings fluctuate but his touch sent his body reeling into overdrive.
Quickly taking his leave Tuvok dragged his mentally laughing mate in their new quarters and proceeded to show him the results such teasing provoked.
Kathryn shook her head at the pairs antics. She was sure that they were flirting and teasing each other with touches and brushed, but couldn't be certain as their expression never changed from their stoic look.
Chakotay's mind meanwhile flashed back to the passion and love he had seen in the infirmary and knew that they would be happy with each other. Finally loved and accepted.
The End
AN: I hope you liked it! The story is of now unbeta'd and will remain like this for the time being. Btw. a NC-17 version can be found in my livejournal (see profile). Please review!