Chapter 3: Pampering

Severus was beside himself with worry fro his wife. Hermione had left when he had given her his irrational reaction to her news of being pregnant and he wasn't sure where she was. She had been gone for three days and he didn't know what to do. Hermione's parents didn't know where she was. They hadn't even known about her pregnancy, and now they were more worried then they had been when she told them she was missing.

Severus had sat down after he left their room and thought about what it would be like to have a child. He pictured a child with Hermione's curly brown hair, beautiful face, and chocolate brown eyes. His heart clenched at the very idea and he smiled when he thought of Hermione playing with their child on the grounds of Hogwarts during the school year. He had gone to tell Hermione that he wanted the baby, but what he had found was not what he had expected. Her bags had been packed and she was no where in sight. No one seemed to know where she had gone and he didn't tell them about the baby. He wanted to speak to Hermione first.

***HGSS***

Hermione walked into Grimuald Place a week after she had left, depressed and weary. She had gone to an abortion clinic and solved the problem. Severus didn't want the baby, so she had made sure she didn't have one.

Walking into the kitchen, she looked around at the faces that were eating breakfast. "Snape is upstairs sleeping," Molly told her.

Hermione left them without eating and went upstairs with her bags. Severus lay sleeping in their bed, looking both peaceful and worried. She set down her bags and sat down next to him, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He stirred for a moment, and then went back to sleep. Hermione changed and slipped into bed beside him, going to sleep. When she woke, she turned to her side and was faced with her husband watching her. She sat up suddenly and looked at the clock; it was midnight.

"Where have you been for the past week," Severus asked.

"I was in London," she answered.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was? I went to your parents' houses for Gods' sake!"

Hermione flinched as he got angry with her. Leaning up, he sighed and pulled her back down to the bed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry. It's just that I came back in here to talk to you about the baby and you weren't here. I kept expecting you to come back. If you didn't come back today, I was going to report you as missing to the Ministry of Magic."

"I was coming back," she told him.

"What were you doing in London," he asked, ignoring her comment.

Hermione pulled away from him and tried to stand up, but fell back to the bed.

"What is wrong with you," Severus asked with a note of concern in his voice.

Hermione had been told by the doctors that she should rest in bed for a week, but she had only rested for a few days. Now she was weaker than she had been after the abortion. When Hermione refused to tell Severus what was wrong with her, he went to her bag, and began searching them. Inside was a receipt for the abortion and a bottle of prescribed pills for the pain. When Hermione saw what he was looking at, she went over to him, took them from him, and hugged them to her chest as if they were her very lifeline. But she was still too weak to stand for long and she found the floor coming up to meet her before Severus caught her and carried her back to the bed.

"I'll get you something to eat," he told her before leaving the room.

Severus went downstairs to the kitchens to fix her something from dinner and felt a knot in his chest. He had lost his chance to become a father. Because his temper had gotten the best of him and he had left her with doubt in her mind. It was his fault. He had driven her to do it.

Heading upstairs, he went into their room and set the try down next to her. She ate very slowly and very little. After she was done, he set the tray on the floor and watched her carefully before asking, "Why did you do it?"

"You," she answered, her voice breaking, trying to hold back her tears.

"Me," he asked.

"You didn't want her, so I got an abortion."

Having Severus' suspicions confirmed did nothing but make him feel worse. "I overreacted.," he explained. "I did want the baby."

"It was a girl."

"I wanted her," he repeated after a short pause.

Hermione looked over at his sincere face and said, "You left me after giving me an angry look that told me you thought it was my fault that I had gotten pregnant. It takes two to tango, honey."

"It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I made it seem that way. I was in shock. I didn't expect you to become pregnant so fast."

"It's been five months since we got married."

"I know."

"Aren't you going to ask me what the muggle saying 'it takes two to tango' means?"

"No. I know what it means. I had a muggle father. I grew up in the muggle world."

There was silence in the room before Severus asked, "What do you want to tell your parents about the baby? I told them because I thought they knew."

"We can tell them the truth or we can say I had a miscarriage."

"Which one do you want to tell them?"

"Telling them it was a miscarriage would be better. They are both against abortion."

"Why aren't you?"

"I was until this. It was the only solution I could think of. I didn't know what else to do. I was only going to stay away for a few days until you calmed down, but I suddenly felt like you wouldn't. So I decided that it was an exception for getting an abortion."

They were both silent as they stayed in the room together. Morning came faster than they expected and Severus headed to the kitchen for a tray of food. Everyone in the kitchen asked him what he was doing, but he didn't answer. Heading upstairs, he opened the door to their room. Hermione groaned as she saw that the people from the kitchen had followed him up. Molly Weasley went to Hermione and tried to make her feel more comfortable by fluffing her pillows and covering her with a blanket while Harry and Ron kept asking what Severus did to her. She got so tired of hearing everyone speak at once that she screamed for them to stop.

"Severus didn't do anything to me. He's been taking care of me since I got back from London."

"Why were you in London," Ron asked her, confused as to why she had left.

"I was visiting some friends of mine."

"Well, then why are you in bed looking really weak?"

Severus and Hermione made eye contact before Hermione answered, "I had a miscarriage."

Ginny went to Hermione and held her as she cried. Hermione knew that Ginny understood she was lying. Soon, she would be obliged to tell her the truth. Gradually, the room emptied as she cried and Ginny held her. Hermione, Ginny, and Severus were the only people left in the room. Ginny left eventually and closed the door. Severus sat down on the bed with his back to Hermione; hating to see her cry even more than hearing it.

Hermione sniffed and wiped away her remaining tears. She turned on her side away from Severus and tried to calm down.

"Are you going to tell everyone that you had a miscarriage?"

"Everyone but Ginny," she said in a tearful voice.

Over the next few days, Ginny, Severus, and Mrs. Weasley were always pampering her, making sure she had everything she needed. Hermione got a surprise a week after being back; her parents arrival.

Severus made no comment as Hermione's mother took over taking care of Hermione. Her father took Severus to a separate room where he demanded to be told why his daughter was in bed, very weak. After being told that Hermione had "lost" the baby, he ran from the room to see his daughter.

Hermione had just informed her mother of the "miscarriage" and she was once again crying. This time, she was crying in her mother's arms. Severus left them alone and left Grimuald Place after leaving a note for his wife, telling her why he left.

My Dearest Love,

It is my deepest regret that I have not told you how much I care for you after all this time. It hurts me more than you will ever know that you did not tell me that you were pregnant with my child. When you left, you hurt me…immensely. I thought that the last conversation we had was to be our last. You will never know how I felt because of this note, but I will be back, I just don't know when.

Severus Snape