.:Chapter 26:.

With Friends like These

When Zack had woken up next, he had been told that there was a possibility he was going to have to go into a special hospital to be watched. At first he had been confused, wasn't he already in ah hospital? Couldn't they just deal with him there? Then he realized that they were going to test his brain and put him in a place where he was going to be, literally, watched like a hawk.

That scared him the more than anything else. Being taken to a different hospital, away from his family, and friends…being away from Cody for that long. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it. Especially considering everyone in school would know what happened. How would be treated when he got back? If he got back? Would he be teased? Would he have to chance schools because everyone would know his business? Did they know now?

He had too much time to think about it between visiting hours. Things were actually pretty boring around the hospital. When they were younger, he and Cody were up and down the hallways, running rampant with the wheelchairs, crutches, and whatever else they could get their hands on. They had always been rambunctious and wiggly, slipping and sliding out of Carey's hand when she was to be holding them down to get a shot or have blood drawn. Zack crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at the IV connected to his hand. Who knew a tiny little needle would keep him trapped to a bed. That and the fact he was sure he would go crashing to the ground once he stepped foot on the ground.

There was a knock on his door and Donna opened it up, poking her head in. She smiled warmly at Zack. "How's my favorite patient doing today?"

"I've only been here for two days, Donna, how can I already be your favorite patient?" Zack's eyebrows rose though he managed a small smile. "I mean, I know that I'm very good with the ladies, but I didn't think I could wok that fast."

"I'm sure your girlfriend is very pleased to know you have such a good sense of humor," Donna said. She stood above Zack's bed, placing her hands on her hips as she shook her head. "Either that or you're fighting all the girls off with a stick."

"I don't have a girlfriend," Zack replied. He paused, lowering his eyes for a moment. "Not anymore, anyway." He then perked up, smiling warmly at the nurse. "But if you're willing to wait for me, I'm sure we can work something out."

"I'm sure that's what you say with all of the girls, Zack," Donna said, laughing heartily. She reached out and patted Zack on the head. "Anyway, you have some visitors here to see you, a whole mötley crüe in fact." She helped Zack sit up before leaving the room. "Just holler if you need anything, and if you get hungry, which I suspect you are, I can get you an extra pudding cup. The good kind, not the one that the cafeteria gives us." She left the room and a few seconds later the Jacksons, the Mannings, Max, Tapeworm, Bailey, and Maddie all entered the hospital room with Cody trailing behind them. Zack stared in surprise, his eyes moving over the stuffed animals, cards, flowers, and balloons they were all holding onto.

"Hey Zack," Bailey greeted, walking over to him, clutching a vase of sunflowers in her hands. "How are you feeling?" She placed the vase on his bedside table. "You really scared us, you know. We didn't hear what happened until the school day was half over."

"Do you remember what happened?" Sydney added, moving to the other side of Zack's bed. His large eyes were slightly wider, looking earnestly down at him. He kneeled down, resting his chin on his crossed arms. "I mean, I know what happened, but…I guess I just don't understand what started everything."

"I don't really know either," Zack said quietly. "It's a lot of things."

"I mean, we always thought that something was wrong," Tapeworm added. He paused then rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, we didn't know for sure, of course. But we had some idea that there was…" he looked over at Max, dropping his hand from his neck. "Sorry, I guess I don't really know what to say," he apologized.

"It's alright," Zack said warmly. "I don't really know what to say, either." He twisted his mouth to the side, his eyes moving over everyone face once more. "In fact, I figured you'd be yelling at me or something," Zack's eyes moved over to Riley, as did nearly everyone else's in the room.

At first she looked offended, but then her eyebrows rose as her lips curled back into a smirk. Her arms tightened around the stuffed bear that she held against her. "I don't have the lung capacity for that," Riley remarked, giving a small smile. A sad smile? He wasn't sure—which wasn't the first time—he couldn't determine what it was that she was keeping from him, the thing that she was really hiding. Something she wasn't coming out and saying.

Maybe that was the point.

"Be glad," Noah joked, causing Riley to reach over and gently smack him on the back of the head.

Zack laughed as he brought a hand up and ran it through his hair. He dropped it heavily to his side, suddenly paying close attention to it. It looked like a skeleton, to put it lightly. The skin on the back of his hand was thin, he could see the veins that ran around his fingers and wrist, his skin was practically translucent. It was strange, he always liked to draw skeletons and skull and cross bones and different images like that on the sides of his homework and notebooks. It was just images, drawings, doodles that came from the tip of a pen or a pencil. And now that he was seeing it up close, the real thing, he understood how scar it was and how bad he had gotten. If he was able to see the outline of the bones in his hands so clearly, how would the rest of him look? He only focused on his face, more often than not when he looked in the mirror and even then he didn't focus on his facial structure. He saw the way his skin pigment had darkened under his eyes, and how he had lost the fat in his face; however he never noticed how gaunt his cheekbones had become or the rest of his body.

Looking down at his legs under the blanket he could see they had become thinner than he imagined as well. He couldn't even begin to think what his chest and stomach looked out. The ribs poking out against his stretched skin, stomach more hollow than flat. How could he have gotten so bad and not seen how scary it really was?

Maybe that was his problem all along? He was never able to see how bad things were getting until it got to the point where it all fell apart. His relationship with his mother, his relationship with Max, his own self-esteem.

Patrick must have noticed Zack's contemplative stare at his skin for he took a step forward, holding out a fast food bag. "I'm sure the hospital food is nothing but crap, so we figured we'd sneak this in for you." He placed it on the bed by Zack's arm. Zack chuckled, sitting up and reaching over to take the bag, wanting to see what was inside. "We practically got the whole menu, of course."

"But if you ever got caught with it, then you've never seen us before in your entire life," Noah added.

There was a brief moment of silence that went around the room. Maddie took the time to take everyone's gifts and flowers and started to arrange them around the room. It didn't matter to Zack, not exactly. Not when he knew he was going to be taken to an actual hospital. Or as he was now calling it, Cray Central. He knew what went on in there, it was people either being strapped down to their beds or were stuck sitting in 'circle' time and talking about what made them get to be there in the first place. He didn't want to deal with that again. How many times was going to be asked and who cared? He was where he was and he was going to get better, why couldn't they focus on that?

At least Cody could do that for him. He had been there for hi, right next to him in his hospital bed, as long as he could be while Carey and Kurt talked to the doctors outside in the hallway. They were the ones that had broken it to him that he would be going off to a mental hospital for a while, just for treatment. He had been angry at first, wondering why they wanted to send him away, then Cody reassured him they were only doing it because they were afraid he was going to get worse before it got better, that Zack really didn't see how bad he was.

It was the truth.

He didn't.

"So are you going to ask me what you all want to ask or are you just going to sit there and look at my handsome face?" Zack asked. He twisted to the side, reaching behind him to shift his pillow up higher behind him, missing Cody roll his eyes.

"Good to see you still have your sense of humor, Zack," Cody commented.

"And that he still thinks so highly of himself," Crystal agreed. Zack looked at her for a moment, not sure if he should take it as a good thing or a bad thing, but then she continued. "It just shows that your self-esteem isn't going to be a problem when it comes to your treatment." Her eyes moved over to Rhuben, who stretched out her legs, crossing them at the ankle. "That's usually the hardest part of it, as well as going back into eating what you want."

"Then I guess those double cheeseburgers wasn't a good idea," Sydney said with a small pout. His eyes shifted back and forth before he quickly reached out and grabbed onto the bag. "Quick, Aaron, we can eat these ourselves!"

"No, you can't!" Riley protested. "You'll get sick."

Zack winced at her choice of words. Not even the insults she tended to throw his way hurt as much as that; for an obvious reason and a not so obvious one.

"And what a way to go," Aaron said with a smile.

The room burst out into laughter. Zack scratched the side of his neck then dropped his hand to his lap. "Anything else you want to ask me? I'm sure you have plenty that you want to know." He chewed his bottom lip. "I'll start with this; I don't know what it was that really made me start doing that." It was then he realized he couldn't actually say it out loud. That he was throwing up, that he had an eating disorder. He could think it, but not say it out loud, that made things too…permanent, too out in the open. Too real.

"Are you sure about that?" Julius pressed. He had been sitting quietly in the corner of the room the whole time. Zack glanced at him in confusion. "There are a lot of things that can end up changing the way you think about things and how, subconsciously, changes the way you think about yourself."

Zack was suddenly annoyed. "Oh yeah, and if that's the case, if you all thought something was wrong, why didn't you help me?"

"You can't help someone that doesn't ask for it," Riley pointed out.

"No matter how much you want to," Aaron agreed.

Zack looked over at Cody, who had been staring at him, arms crossed over his chest. Cody gave Zack a small, reassuring smile. Zack looked back at him, feeling guilt wash over him. He did know why he had gotten into so deep in his own problems and as selfish and humiliating as it was to say, it was mostly because of Cody. For years and years he allowed Cody's academic achievements, awards, good grades, successes, internships, and opportunities to weigh down on him and to affect his self-esteem and the way he related to his own academics afterwards.

He took the constant praise and attention Carey gave him and allowed it to affect his mood and the things he did for his own sense of attention. Not to say it was the only problem, but at least he was starting to admit it. He would never tell Cody that though, it would crush his brother. Just as telling his mother it was partially her fault would hurt her, how Moseby's constant berating of his character hurt him, how everyone's teasing and low expectations of his own character got n the way as well. Not including how people would make fun of the way he would eat and how much of it he would eat.

Ultimately he knew he couldn't blame it on everyone around him, he could only blame himself for allowing it to get to that point.

"I guess you're right," he murmured.

"So what's going to happen next?" Max rubbed her arm, leaning into Tapeworm's side. "I mean, you're going to be out of school for a while…"

Bailey suddenly gasped. "What about your homework? You're already on academic probation, it'll totally screw up your graduation!"

"Yeah…" Zack started to crack his knuckles. He winced, at the pain that shot up his hands. It hurt a lot worse now, his nervous habit. He brought a hand up and ran it through his hair. "I'm not sure when I'm going to be back at school…or just out in general." He gave a humorless chuckle, slightly shaking his head. "Looks like I'm not going to be able to run for being the Prom Prince again and hold onto my title."

"Yeah, maybe Cody'll beat you out this time," Noah teased.

"I'm sure he will," Zack agreed. He turned to Cody, his eyebrows lowering as he stared hard at his brother. "So, why are you so quiet, Buddy? You haven't said anything since you've gotten here. Even while I'm gone in the loony bin you're still my brother and I expect you to keep me posted with everything that's going on while I'm not around."

"It's just going to be strange that you're not around," Cody said with a shrug. He chuckled. "I mean, even Mr. Moseby is starting to wonder what's going to happen without you there." He looked at Maddie for clarification. She nodded.

"He's really worried about you, Zack," Maddie said. She gently nudged Sydney aside, sitting down on the side of his bed, resting her hands in her lap. "Everyone at the Tipton is. Arwin is moping around, Esteban doesn't move as quickly, and Mr. Moseby is always so depressed, waiting for some sort of prank from you guys, knowing you're the one that's the mastermind behind them all." Zack bobbed his head back and forth. "And the kids miss you of course; they even wanted me to give you this." She produced a large card that had scribbles, wobbly drawings, and finger prints mushed all over them. "They were sad when they found out that you weren't going to be there for them."

Zack sucked his lips into his mouth. How could he have not noticed that he had so many people around him that could have been constant support to him and his problems? Crystal had helped him figure out how to talk to his parents about how he was feeling there, Riley had, in a way, helped talk to him about his relationship with Max, and Rhuben, now that he thought about it, had tried to keep him from doing something stupid from the very beginning. She had been the one that warned him not to do anything stupid, noticed he hadn't eaten a lot of his lunch, and continued to warn him more and more as time went on.

Cody had tried his hardest to get Zack to open up about his problems and he continued to shut him down. Patrick and Noah had tried to talk to him and he ignored it. Tapeworm had mentioned there was something wrong and he ignored him as well. Hell, even Sydney had been sent in to the daycare as a spy to keep a lookout for Zack and he continued to push everyone away from him, focusing on his own problems. Maybe he finally hit his rock bottom and was trying to crawl his way back to the top once more. The thought of going to the hospital was what was giving him the most anxiety. Knowing he wasn't going to have any of his family and friends around him, just those that were in the same boat as him if not worse.

He let out a heavy sigh.

"Zack, are you ok?" Crystal asked. She tucked her blue strand of hair behind her ears. She twisted her mouth to the side. Zack lowered his gaze to his hands, shaking his head. He may as well be honest now; everyone knew what was going on. And they still wanted to be around him? He couldn't understand that. Every time he had screwed up, made fun of someone, got sent to detention, failed papers, almost failed classes, and "Everything's going to be OK, it's just going to take time for you to get better."

"Yeah, time is always the best thing in situations like this," Rhuben agreed. She let out a short sigh, looking over at Cody, who looked back at her then looked away. "That and to know that no one blames you for what happened. That you can control what happened and if you really do want to get better and to have your life go back to normal."

Zack opened slowly opened his mouth and before he could stop himself, the words tumbled out. "I don't think I can." There, he said it. He finally told the truth for the first time in a while. He didn't think he was able to get better, to be able to have things go back to normal, to be the same person he was before. Too much stuff had been going on, he'd gotten to such a dark place it was scary to know how messed up his head had been before. There were still instances of those thoughts creeping up on him, especially during the times where he had woken up in the middle of the night or when the room was completely empty. He had too much time to think and with that amount of time he went over everything he had done since the first time he threw up. It was like a horror movie, each image flashing through his head as quickly as he could blink and as hard as he tried to get them to stop, they would continue to play.

Over and over and over and over and over.

Would they ever stop?

Would he finally have a chance where he would be at peace? How would being forced to eat help at all Zack let out a sound of frustration. Once again his thoughts changed, moving into ones that warped his fear and put them into aggression, like he always learned how to do to protect himself.

He squeezed his eyes shut. No! He had to push the thoughts away. Not just for himself, but for Cody, and his mother, and father and everyone that was supporting him. Even though, in his heart of hearts, he didn't believe he deserved to have friends as good and understanding as them.

"Just get better Zack," Riley said. "And soon."

A/N: Sorry for the wait on this chapter. I was a bit confused about how I really wanted to have the story end I think what I came up with is good (you'll see in the next couple of ones or so). A couple of chapters left then I'll probably start Downfall to finish that series before doing the sequels to this, though I'll work on them as well so I have some of it done before posting.

I hope you guys liked the chapter, a feel good show that Zack wasn't as alone as he thought and he didn't just have Cody there to help him out. Just as a reminder, some things that are mentioned in this story will be expanded upon in Zack's sequel to his and Cody's sequel to this.

DEfan10: To answer your question from my BTR story Memories and Melodies, we're not leaving FFN completely, just the BTR fandom. I'll continue to post in here as well as Rhu and I moving into other fandoms as well.

Cheers,

-Riles