Okay. This is a warning. I have no idea whatsoever how to write Tenten, Neji, or Lee and I'm sorry to say that you might hate this chapter and try to kill me or something. Excuse me while I hide.
And that, my friends, is one of the reasons this took forever to write. That, and college applications make me want to quit life and become a homeless person.
Kankuro glanced at the house in front of him, warily. The plain-white paint was flecked and uneven, the grass over-grown with weeds, and the front picture window in dire need of a good wipe-down. To be completely honest, it looked as if the house had been vacant for the past five or six months. Briefly, he tried to imagine anyone living in such an unloved and impersonal place and instantly gave up. Grumbling as he stalked up the stone path, Kankuro knocked his fist against the wooden door and crossed his arms as he waited. If Ino had sent him to an empty house for shits and giggles, he swore he would throttle her.
"Hey! Anyone here?" he shouted as he pounded harder against the door. No one appeared. He quirked his ear towards the door, tuning in for the sound of footsteps. Nothing. Nearly growling, he banged again, becoming even more furious as still no one appeared. In a final fit of anger, he grasped the doorknob and began to pull and jiggle it while pounding his other hand against the wood. "Hey! Answer me, already! Is someone here or not!"
His only response, however, was the doorknob ripping away from the door and falling to ground with a pitiful 'clink!' "Shit," Kankuro muttered, scrambling for the metallic knob. However, he halted in mid-fumble. He eyed the doorknob, then the newly produced hole in the door, then the doorknob again, and finally the hole. In a sudden rush, he threw his rather thick body against the door and pressed his eye to the opening, his pupils desperately raking the room for any signs of life.
He was disappointed to find, however, that the house's inside was just as mysteriously blank as its outside. Cursing, he pulled his body away from the door. He would take one more look, he decided, and if he still saw no sign of life, he would give up on the forsaken house. With a deep, calming breath, he once again pressed his eye to the hole.
Only to be greeted by another dark brown eye peering straight back at him.
"Eeek!" he shrieked, not at all unlike a little girl (not that he'd ever admit that, of course). As he recoiled, the giant eye mimicked his actions and let out a yelp. Kankuro tried to stop his heart from beating against the inside of his ribcage like a drum, nearly jumping out of his skin as the front door swung open. A teenage girl with two large buns on her head stood in the threshold, her face stained red with anger.
"You just broke my door!" she exclaimed while pointing an accusatory finger. "I cannot believe you just broke my door!"
"Believe it?" Kankuro suggested weakly with a nervous smile. Damn, the little brunette chick was almost as scary as Temari. Carefully, he began inching his body backwards in an attempt to flee.
"I can't believe you just broke my door," Tenten continued to mutter in a considerably calmer voice. "Can't believe... I just need to- Yeah, fix it or something. I dunno. I need stuff to..." As she muttered, she ran her fingers carefully over the wood and studied the damage closely.
"Oh, c'mon!" Kankuro snapped in annoyance. "It was just a stupid door!"
"You. Get inside. Now."
Without another word, Kankuro complied. If Tenten really was anything like his sister, that tone meant that he was just three seconds away from being pummeled into the cement. Following Tenten as she stalked from room to room, Kankuro peered curiously around him. The place was completely void of furniture; not even, he realized with horror, a television set. She must have been crazy. How in the world could she survive?
"Did you just move in here or something?" Kankuro asked while trailing a dirty finger along the blank, white walls.
"No," Tenten answered, surveying the room with a look of confusion. "Why would you say that?" Kankuro didn't have a chance to respond, however, as a moment later Tenten opened yet another door and ushered him inside.
A look of surprise spread over Kankuro's usually scowling face. For one thing there was furniture in the room. Sure, it was only four chairs set around a tiny table, but is was furniture, nonetheless. And even more surprising, sitting amid those bland furnishings were two young shinobi, one with dark hair falling to his middle-back and the other with big bulging eyes and a bright, green jumpsuit. The latter greeted Kankuro with an exaggerated wave of the hand and Kankuro sheepishly grinned back. Alliance or not, it had only been a few years ago that his brother almost murdered the overly-animated teen.
"Neji, how much does it cost to fix a door?" Tenten asked while flopping down into a chair next to the boys.
"I'm not a calculator," Neji replied, not even glancing at her.
"Oh, c'mon. Answer the question, Neji," Tenten demanded.
Neji sat in silence for a moment, as if actually considering her question, until finally arching his shoulders in a stiff shrug. "No idea."
"Neji-"
"Ooooh! Tenten!" Lee shouted while thrusting his arm up in the air as if he was back in the academy. "Tenten! I know! Ask me!"
Tenten surveyed Lee for a moment before nodding. "Right, then. Lee, how much would it cost to fix a door that was savagely torn from its hinges, ripped to shreds, and then brutally scattered throughout my lawn?"
"All I did was accidentally pull off the doorknob!" Kankuro complained.
"Answer the question, Lee," Tenten said, completely ignoring Kankuro's outburst.
"Answer?" Lee muttered with his eyes even wider than usual. To be honest he really didn't know the answer to Tenten's query; he had been just trying to be helpful! But now that he had to actually answer... After a moment of deep concentration, Lee snapped his fingers together upon reaching a decision. "It would cost 300,000,000,000 yen!"
"That's ridiculous!" Kankuro yelped. "I'm not paying that much for a freaking doorknob!"
"Aha!" Lee exclaimed. "But it was not only a doorknob! You must factor in the doorknob, the damage done to the door itself, the labor needed to both buy the doorknob and reattach said doorknob to its rightful place, and the emotional strain upon finding one's door dishonored!"
"You've got to be kidding me," Kankuro muttered. "How about we, uh, make a bet?"
"I don't bet," Tenten replied. "Leads to some messy business."
"You have no idea," Kankuro couldn't help but agree with a bitter smile. "Then, maybe just an agreement or something? Compromise?"
"Depends on what the agreement is," Tenten said, failing to mask her interest. Kankuro was pleased to note that the anger in her voice had almost completely dissipated, although it was still laced with suspicion. "What do you have in mind?"
"Well," Kankuro began with another one of his heartbreaking smiles. It was time to turn his charm into overdrive. "I could always, ya' know, take you out. On a date."
Silence filled the room as even Neji stared at Kankuro in disbelief. "A date?" Tenten repeated. A slow smile spread over her lips and at once she fell into a fit of laughter. "W-wait? Seriously, a date?" Upon Kankuro's nod, Tenten's laughter increased by tenfold.
"You bet your ass, a date!" Kankuro growled.
"You're the sand-nin that tried to date Hinata, aren't you?" Tenten asked in-between giggles. Kankuro nodded and at once Neji's eyes focused into a deathly stare that only a Hyuuga could be capable of.
"What are you look-" Kankuro's growl halted as he caught sight of his eyes. His pearly-white, Hyuuga eyes. "Shit. Uh... Please don't kill me?"
"Lucky for you only the main house is particularly concerned with that issue," Neji icily replied. Lee coughed out something that suspiciously sounded like 'liar' into the palm of his hand.
"Oh, thank God," Kankuro sighed. "You know, I think I might like you, Hyuuga! You're a pretty okay guy."
"Just because I'm not going to kill you doesn't mean I like you," Neji clarified and at once Kankuro backed off.
"It's still so insane!" Tenten shouted while laughing again. "The entire clan- Well besides Neji, of course. You know I kind of feel like taking you up on that offer of your's- just to see how terrible at dating you must be!"
"It's not funny," he whined, looking just as pathetic as the words he uttered.
"Right, right. Not funny," Tenten said while taking a deep breath. A few stray giggles escaped before she finally calmed herself. "Though, I'm still not exactly sure how that would be payback for my broken door. To be completely honest, I'd much rather have 300,000,000,000 yen."
"Like I said before, I'll make it a compromise. Give me chance to woo you with my irresistible skills-" Here, Tenten snorted. "-and after you've fallen head over heels for me, we can discuss how much more payment is needed. I have to warn you, of course. You might find me to be so dashing and debonair that you'll end up being the one paying me."
Tenten couldn't help but grin. The guy was obnoxious, self-absorbed, and his clothing had a terrible likeness to a kitty-cat, but she couldn't deny that he was amusing. Well, more amusing than Neji had been lately, at least. "Fine," she agreed while sticking her hand out to shake on it. "But you better not disappoint me."
"I guarantee it," Kankuro assured he with confidence. He extended his hand to Tenten, although not intending to shake. Instead, his palm encompassed her own and pulled her towards him. Lifting his other arm to drape it over Tenten's shoulders, he slowly steered her towards the door.
"Neji!" Tenten shouted over her shoulder and unfortunately right in Kankuro's ear. "Neji, I'm going on a date with Kankuro!"
"I don't care," Neji responded.
"Ooooh! Tenten!" Lee yelled with his arm once again thrust in the air. "Tenten! I care!"
"Bye, Lee!" Tenten exclaimed while exiting the room with a wave.
"Neji, you're jealous, aren't you?" Lee asked with a smile, gazing at the closed door like a proud parent. An irritated look passed over Neji's face.
"No, Lee. I'm definitely not."
"I am," said Lee.
"No, Lee. No you're not."
"Okay, maybe not," Lee glumly admitted. Then, he snapped his fingers together with excitement. "You know what would be fun? We should go spy on their date! Yeah! Neji, can we do that? Can we? Please?"
"No, Lee," Neji muttered while shaking his head in disgust. "That's what stalkers do."
