The first part of this was influenced by the Garth Brooks song "Outside the Fire"
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
Okay, I know I have not been good about updating, but I need some feed back. Let me know what you think.
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Bill quietly walked into Kelly's room the next morning. He looked over at Sabrina and smiled at his wife. He thought how wonderful she looked asleep, and how lucky he was to have gotten a second chance with Sabrina. He thought back for a moment about how he had Kelly partially to thank for that, he realized had never told Sabrina about that conversation. Maybe it was time. Bill looked at Kelly and could not imagine what Sabrina or any of the other girls would do if something happened to her. Kelly had always been the heart of the group, their confidante, fiercest defender and biggest supporter. Bill mentally shook himself; he did not want to think about that. He looked over at Sabrina who had fallen asleep with her head on the hospital bed still holding Kelly's hand. He walked over to Sabrina and started to gently rub her back. Sabrina slowly started to move, and turned her head to look at Bill and give him a smile that slowly crossed her face as she woke up. "Hey, handsome."
Bill leaned down and lightly kissed the top of her head, "Good morning beautiful." Sabrina raised an eyebrow, "Who are you looking at? I've been up most the night, I must look a fright."
"You always look beautiful to me."
"You smooth talker." Sabrina said as she gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now, where's my coffee?"
Bill smiled and moved over to the counter to pick up Sabrina's coffee, he had picked up on the way up to the room, "Your wish is my command my lady."
"Well if I have that much power, how about making the last 2 weeks disappear."
"Sorry babe, I would if I could, but even us lowly men have our limitation."
Sabrina took a playful swipe toward Bill, "Really Bill, I don't understand why she had to set herself up that way. I am furious and worried at the same time. I want to ring her neck for putting herself in danger like that, but right now I just want her to wake up and be okay. I just couldn't imagine life without her. She could have died so easily that night. There is still a chance she won't walk and then losing the baby. That is going to kill her. It just is not fair. Out of all of us she deserves a happy ever after." As Sabrina started talking she had gotten up and started pacing around the room, as she was winding down, Bill walked up and put his arms around her and hugged her tight. Sabrina buried her face in Bill's shoulder and let the tears fall again. They stayed that way for a few minutes; Sabrina pulled back and wiped her face, "Now I really look a fright."
Bill took a hold of Sabrina's hand and pulled her over to the couch in the corner of the room, thinking this might take her mind off Kelly for a few minutes. "Sabrina let me tell you a story about a run in I had with Kelly that changed my mind about your job. It also helped me realize how incredible you are and how stupid I was for not noticing."
Sabrina gave Bill a puzzled look and shook her head, "Why haven't I heard about this before." Sabrina looked over at Kelly wishing her friend were awake to give her some insight.
"Well it was not my finest hour and Kelly, being Kelly never tells anything she thinks will hurt someone she loves. A little over 3 years after you started working for Charlie I ran into Kelly at Guido's. You know Kelly and I never really got along but you and I had just had an argument again and I was looking for someone to take it out on. Anyway I went off with my usual spiel about the dangers and how it would be better for the police to handle your cases, and how you were catering to the rich. Next thing I know Kelly walks up real close to me, her eyes are almost completely dark and never raising her voice she lets me have it. She reminds me how the police department never appreciated your skills, how you would have spent years fighting the bureaucracy of the department doing menial tasks and never really helping people, how you had out smarted some of the smartest criminals in the world, how you had won justice for people who needed it, people that the system had forgotten or failed. Then she asked me the defining question, did I really want to be with a woman who stood by and watched wrongs in the world happen or someone who stepped into the fire and made a difference? That's you Bri, you step into the fire to help, you care about people, you can't sit around, you protect the ones you love and that's Kelly, too. I had to accept that sometimes you could get burned when you step into that fire, but I would rather be with you, a person that makes a difference than be with someone who plays it safe."
Sabrina gently touched his face and with tears in her eyes she slowly kissed him on the lips, "That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm glad you told me. Let me tell you what I finally puzzled out. Letting someone help me does not mean I can't do it on my own, it just means I am lucky enough to have people who love me and want to help me. Like you. You let me jump into that fire, but I learned it is easier when we do it together. I'm mad because Kelly has got to accept that we want to help her, not stop her or diminish her in any way. When we started working for Charlie, we all felt we had to do it on our own because we had to prove we were better than the men doing the same job. We proved that but I finally got it through my head that asking for help or letting someone help me does not mean I can't do it. We want to stand with her. She isn't alone anymore. I want her to know that she is important to a lot of people and we just want her around for a long time."
"How did you get so smart?"
"Must be the company I keep." Sabrina said with a smile as Bill engulfed her in a big hug.
From the bed a very groggy and hoarse voice said, "You know if ya'll want to be alone I can ask the nurse to move me to another room."
Sabrina and Bill turned around in surprise, "Kelly, honey you okay?" Sabrina rushed to her side to touch her hand and gently pushed back her hair. "Do you need anything? Are you in pain? Don't try to sit up, just lay there while Bill goes to get the doctor."
Kelly looked up at Sabrina, still groggy and tried to put her best smile on as she said, "Bri, I'm fine. Don't look so sad." She squeezed Sabrina's hand weakly.
Sabrina looked down at their hands, swallowed hard, trying not to tear up again. "You scared me Kel. You really scared me." Sabrina swallowed hard and looked up to Kelly's face with a little smile trying to lighten the mood, "Besides I'm not ready to give up Tyler's favorite babysitter yet."
Kelly smiled groggily as she tried to sit up, "I'm sorry, I scared you, Bri." Kelly stopped in mid sentence as she tried to sit up and realized she could not move, she started to panic as she struggled her eyes got bigger, she looked at Sabrina for help. "Sabrina, Sabrina, why can't I move?"
Sabrina tried to calm Kelly down, "its okay, Kelly. Calm down or you will hurt yourself." Sabrina was standing over the bed trying to get her to calm down when the doctor and nurse came in, realized the situation and immediately took over. "Mrs. Hansworth calm down, everything is going to be okay. We need you to calm down so we can release the restraints. Do you understand?" Kelly nodded. "Kelly I need you to stay still. Okay?" Kelly nodded again, "I understand." The nurse released the restraints and started to check her vitals. The doctor took Kelly through several neurological tests. Sabrina stood over to the side with Bill and breathed a huge sigh of relief when Kelly's toes moved in response to the Doctor's probe.
The Doctor finished his examination and sat down on the side of the bed; Kelly had been subdued as she answered his questions and impatiently waited to ask her own questions. The Doctor's manner told her this was serious. She tried to read his eyes and got more worried when the nurse just gave her a sympathetic smile and then she looked at Sabrina's face and realized that something was seriously wrong. "Doctor, please tell me what is going on? How bad is it?"
"Mrs. Hansworth," the Doctor started.
"Call me Kelly."
"Alright, Kelly. You were shot twice once in the shoulder and the second time in your lower back. The bullet in your shoulder passed right through but left a good bit of muscle and nerve damage. We were able to repair the muscle damage." The Doctor paused.
"And the nerve damage."
"Well according to the test I just performed there is some nerve damage, but we won't know the extent of the damage for several weeks. Right now you have lost some of the motor skills in your hand, this maybe reversible with physical therapy. I will have the therapist stop by later today to lay out your physical therapy regimen and give you some exercise to start soon. The quicker we retrain the nerves the better your recovery."
Kelly looked a little shocked but swallowed and nodded her head, "So with therapy I will be fine?" she stated sensing something else. "What haven't you told me yet?"
The Doctor cleared his throat, "The second bullet entered your back around L2 in your lumbar region nicking your spinal column. The preliminary tests show you have feeling in your lower extremities, but we will have to wait for the swelling to go down to see if you will have full control over your lower extremities."
"Doctor, are you saying I might not walk again?" Kelly asked in disbelief.
"Yes, Kelly that could happen. I need to give you the worst case scenario, but I believe with physical therapy there is a chance you could recover most of your motor skills. This is all preliminary and if you are careful and follow all mine and the physical therapist's instructions to the letter, you will have the best chance of recovery. Understand this is not a quick process, you have to be in the mind set that this is for the long haul, it could be weeks or even months before you see the improvement you want."
Kelly nodded as she tried to comprehend everything the Doctor had just said. Her mind was reeling as she realized the Doctor had cleared his throat trying to get her attention. Kelly looked up at the Doctor wondering what else he could have to say. Sabrina had been watching Kelly's face the whole time, hurting for her friend, wishing she could stop the pain she was feeling. Sabrina felt Bill's hand squeeze her shoulder and knew she had to steel herself for what came next; she had to be strong for her friend.
"Kelly, there is one more thing."
Sabrina suddenly interrupted as she stepped forward, "I think that is enough to comprehend for now Doctor. Don't you?" Sabrina looked at the Doctor pleading for him to spare Kelly what came next.
Kelly looked up sharply at Sabrina suddenly getting a sick feeling in her stomach, knowing that the worst was yet to come, Sabrina would not act like this unless, she did not want to think about it. Kelly reached deep within and looked up at the Doctor and saw he was thinking about Sabrina's request. Kelly looked directly at the doctor and with all her resolve she had she said quietly and firmly "Doctor, I want to know the rest." Kelly looked at Sabrina, "I need to know all of it." Sabrina nodded slowly not sure of that but she moved over to stand beside Kelly.
"Kelly, when the bullet hit your spine, it bounced off and the bullet and some bone fragments imbedded in your uterus causes a good bit of damage to the uterus and the surrounding ligaments. We had to remove one of your ovaries and repair the uterus." The Doctor took a deep breath as he watched Kelly carefully, the only noticeable sign she understood him, her eyes were piercing into his and her knuckles were white. "Also, I am sorry to tell you that we were unable to save the baby you were carrying." As the words sank in Kelly gasped, Sabrina grabbed her hand as Kelly's felt the room start to spin.
The Doctor and nurse immediately went into action. The nurse pulled out smelling salts and held it under Kelly's nose until Kelly slowly started to come around. She could hear the Doctor calling her name. "Kelly, do you hear me? Kelly." Kelly nodded slowly and searched out Sabrina's eyes, she saw concern and pity there. Kelly remembered that look from her days at the orphanage and it gave her the resolve to move forward, she took a deep breath, remembering back to a time she survived by shutting off her emotions and concentrated on the facts she could change. "Is there anything else Doctor?" The Doctor warily shook his head, concerned over her calm exterior, "I'll prescribe something to help you sleep and something for anxiety. Kelly shook her head, "No I don't' want any of that."
"Well, I'm going to prescribe them and we can talk about it again later. If you need anything just let the nurse know and she can get in touch with me. Kelly, get some rest and we will talk tomorrow." The doctor stood up and left the room with the nurse.
Bill moved over to the bed beside Sabrina. Kelly looked up at them, "Guys I'm alright. Why don't ya'll go home and get some rest. Sabrina, I bet you slept in that chair all night. You need your rest and I bet Tyler would love to spend some time with his mother."
Sabrina looked down at Kelly wondering what to do next. She knew Kelly wasn't okay, worried about the lack of emotion, but she also knew Kelly liked to work through things alone. Kelly looked away from Sabrina's stare and instead looked over at Bill, "Bill will you please take her home." Bill grinned, "She is as stubborn as you are."
That made Sabrina smile. "Alright, I know when I'm beat. Just promise me you'll take it easy and get some rest. And do what the nurse says."
Kelly looked up at her best friend, "I promise. Thanks for staying with me last night. Now get out of here, go see your son."
"Alright I'm going, but if you need anything call me." Kelly nodded at Sabrina shooing her out door. "I love ya, Kel." Kelly gave Sabrina a reassuring smile, "I love you too, Bri."
Kelly let out a sigh and wondered where do I go from here? Her mind started repeating the Doctor, she had been pregnant with Carl's child, her child. The reality sunk in and she turned away from the door and curled up into a ball and cried.
