I just wanted to give a real quick thanks to everyone who has alerted/favorited this fic, and I'd like to give a special thanks to everyone that gave me a review, they really do motivate me :) I appreciate the patience you all shown with this weird three-part chapter thing I had going on, and I hope you like the update.
Oh yeah, I still don't own Naruto...maybe when I win the lottery?
Mind Fuck Pt. 3
As Sasuke took in the familiar setting of Konoha on the infamous night he had defected and joined Orochimaru, and watched the all too familiar events of his parting unfold between himself and Sakura, he was surprised to see that there was a third party member partaking in his departure. Standing close to the younger Sakura of the past was her subconscious in all of her wrathful sadistic glory, glaring hatefully at the younger Sasuke specter and smiling mischievously at the kunoichi. He made no move to grab at his younger looking ex-team mate, he knew she was not the Sakura he was looking for. Although common sense was telling him to leave and continue looking for her, his curiosity got the better of him. He knew what was about to happen, he had this memory locked away too, but perception is everything, and he wanted to gain insight on what she perceived happened that night.
"Please don't go!" the younger Sakura begged.
Begging, eh? her subconscious quipped, raising an eyebrow scornfully at the simpering tone in Sakura's voice. Are you really that desperate? You're wasting your time on this one.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the subconscious' words. Had she really been there whispering in Sakura's head the entire time?
"If you have to leave, take me with you! I'll help you get your revenge!" Sakura continued.
And just how do you plan on doing that? Inner Sakura huffed in exasperation. You suck at everything! But I can fix that. Forget about this kid, he's a lost cause. He's been a distraction to your training. With him gone, think of all that you could accomplish…with my help of course.
"Sasuke-kun, I love you!"
Oh honey, now you just sound desperate, Inner Sakura said shaking her head in sympathy. In a more gentle tone she continued, You have to let go. Let me help you. I can help you forget about him. I can make you stronger. I can-
"If you leave, I'll scream and—," she was cut off as the younger Sasuke suddenly appeared behind her defensively, ready to silence her and move on.
Sasuke watched as his younger specter whispered the infamous parting words before knocking the young kunoichi out and gently laying her down on the bench. His gaze shifted to the subconscious as she smirked at the younger Uchiha's retreating back and gazed greedily down at the sleeping kunoichi.
No, thank you Sasuke, she sneered as she ran a hand through Sakura's hair possessively, For everything.
Sasuke's eyes widened in shock as he began to question his own version of the past. All this time he had believed Sakura's tone of desperation had stemmed from her trying to stop him from leaving, but how much of that desperation had stemmed from her need to prove her subconscious wrong? Angrily, he wondered how much of her proclamation of love had been true, and how much of it had been her willing to say anything to make him stay and silent her inner voice.
"No," he said aloud, "She loves me, she sent Naruto after me." He didn't have time to wonder why he was trying to convince himself of the validity of what he had always thought was trivial, Sakura's proclamation of love. He was too busy watching the scene change. It was still night time, but Sakura was lying on what appeared to be her bed in her room. However, Inner Sakura loomed over her, arms crossed and smiling smugly down at the crying girl.
I told you they would all leave you, didn't I? Inner Sakura began. It's okay though because we don't need them. We never have. Take this opportunity to better your training. Since you're "friends" have decided to train under the legendary Sannins, you will too. You're going to ask Tsunade-sama to become your trainer.
"Why can't I stay with Kakashi-sensei?" the younger Sakura sniffled softly. "He must be a wreck after losing two pupils."
That's precisely why I want you to go to Tsunade-sama, Inner Sakura spat hatefully. He is grieved that he has lost two pupils, but he ignores the pupil he still has! He's always ignored you, Sakura. If you want to be on equal footing as the rest of your ex-team mates, you must train under a Sannin too. Besides, it can't hurt to pick up another useful skill like medical ninjutsu.
As Sasuke watched Sakura nod her head in acquiescence he wondered how much of her actions had been influenced by Inner Sakura. Had his ex-team mate always been under the influence of this internal persona? His mind was reeling as the scene changed again to reveal the younger Sakura in the midst of taijutsu training with Tsunade. He wasn't surprised to see that Inner Sakura was there as well, screeching at the girl to improve her stance and form in what appeared to be a vain attempt to win the sparring match with the Hokage.
You look so sloppy, she scoffed. And you're moving way too slow. You look like a giant whale flopping about with the clumsy way you throw your punches. Do you even want to improve?
Sakura visibly winced at the scathing tone, knowing that her subconscious was being more truthful and cruel than her shishou ever could be. Although Tsunade was also shouting at her for some of the same reasons, the biting tone inside her head sounded ten times worse. As Sakura continued to struggle through the spar while attempting to ignore her inner demon, Inner Sakura's last question distracted her, and she was axe-kicked in the face. Blood splattered messily in a nondescript pattern down the left side of her face from a gash on her forehead.
"You weren't paying attention," Tsunade tsked as she dropped her fighting stance and moved to inspect her injured pupil.
You really are pathetic, you know that? Inner Sakura sniped as the kunoichi gingerly touched the wound to her head, smearing blood on her fingers.
Without warning Tsunade caught her hand and pulled it down to Sakura's line of vision. "Look at this!" she snapped. "Look at what happens when you're careless! If this had been a real battle you'd be dead! If you want to become a medic, you need to improve your evasive maneuvers. There is no excuse for a medic to be injured on the battlefield. As a medic, you are the lifeline of your team. They rely on you to be healed so they can continue fighting. How are they supposed to continue fighting when the person they seek aide from is injured as well?"
"I'm sorry Shishou," Sakura whispered, staring at the blood on her fingers fixedly.
"I know you are," Tsunade sighed, releasing the girl's hand. "Maybe you're not cut out for this," she began looking at the pink haired girl sympathetically. "You've excelled in medical ninjutsu, there's no question to that, but your skills in taijutsu are lacking. Perhaps Kakashi is to blame for that, I don't know. What I do know is that we've been at this for months and I'm not sure you'll ever pick up this skill."
You can't let her stop the training, Inner Sakura hissed. If you stop, you'll never be on the same level as Naruto and Sasuke. You won't even be mentioned in the same sentence as them. You'll just be a footnote, the girl who her team had to tolerate in their gennin days.
"I can improve Shishou," Sakura begged, tears already springing to her eyes. "Please, just give me another chance."
"Sakura," Tsunade sighed, "There's no shame in civilian life. Perhaps it would be better if you just worked in the hospital. I can take you off the active-duty roster and—"
"No!" Sakura cut in, fixing the Hokage with a desperate glare. "You don't understand, she won't let me be just a civilian."
"Who are you talking about?" Tsunade asked, frowning down at the young kunoichi.
I thought I told you, you were not to tell her about me, Inner Sakura said, a quiet threat evident in her tone.
"I'm not telling her about you I'm just trying to-," Sakura mumbled before feeling Tsunade's strong hands grip her slender upper arms and shake her lightly.
"Sakura, who are you talking to?" Tsunade asked, concerned.
If you won't convince her to take you back as a student, I will.
Tsunade watched with growing concern as the facial expression on her student's face transformed from panicked terror into a smug smirk. "What is the matter with you?"
"Nothing Shishou," she countered, spatting the title hatefully as she violently shrugged Tsunade's grip off her arms. "I'm just going to show you why I should remain your pupil."
Tsunade's eyes widened in surprise as she was immediately put on the defensive as Sakura attacked her. She had no time to throw an attack of her own against the seemingly berserked pink-haired kunoichi. She watched confused as she blocked perfectly executed punch after punch, amazed that this was the same student who had moved so clumsily before. As she caught the girl by the ankle from a roundhouse kick aimed at her head, she stared into the young girl's eyes, trying to find where this sudden ability to fight came from. However, as she stared at the hardened and determined emerald gaze, she watched in shock as her eyes began to bleed black until they became bottomless pits to a dark abyss. Tsunade knew she was looking at a different person. The outside was still Sakura, but a different person ran the show on the inside.
"Who are you?" Tsunade asked, tightening her grip on the kunoichi's ankle.
"I'm your student, Shishou," the girl answered, mocking evident in her tone. "Don't you recognize me?" Without warning the young girl jumped, using her free foot to kick the Hokage in the face.
Tsunade grunted at the kick and let go of her pupil, bringing her hand to the blow against her cheek. Momentarily distracted by the pain and confusion of the situation, she was unable to block Sakura's next flurry of attacks and found herself knocked to the ground. Ready to bring this to an end, Sakura lifted the Hokage by the scruff of her shirt and poised her tiny right fist back, ready to deliver the finishing blow.
"You know, I really must thank you, Old Bitch," Sakura began in a sinister tone, smiling triumphantly in Tsunade's face. "If it wasn't for you giving up on Sakura the way everyone else has, I wouldn't have finally been able to dominate her consciousness like this."
"What are you?" Tsunade asked through gasps of air.
"You're a doctor, I'm sure you'll figure it out…eventually," the possessed kunoichi sneered down at the Hokage. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to wrap things up and be on my way. I have much bigger plans for Sakura than a cozy civilian life in a hospital-," a sharp pain in her back cut her off, and Sakura dropped the Hokage unceremoniously back on the ground.
Sasuke watched Sakura turn to find Shizune standing behind her, an empty syringe clasped in her hand. The scene began to fade to black as the drugs took their effect and Sakura fell into a state of unconsciousness. Sasuke's brow furrowed in confusion as inhuman screams filled the darkness around him, followed by what sounded like Tsunade's voice as she chanted a mantra to a sealing jutsu. As Tsunade's voice crescendoed, the screaming stopped, and the darkness was suddenly replaced with the blinding sterile whiteness of hospital walls as Sasuke watched the young Sakura awake in a hospital bed, Tsunade sitting by her side.
"You're finally awake," Tsunade smiled down at her student. "How do you feel?"
"Empty," Sakura said absently, wondering at the unsettling silence in her head. "What happened?"
"You lost control, but Shizune stepped in and drugged you to calm you down. It's important you get your rest now," she said standing. "You need to be in good health so you can resume your training."
"I've been out for a couple of days, haven't I?" Sakura asked, gazing expectantly at the Hokage.
"An unexpected side effect of the drug Shizune used," Tsunade answered dismissively, not looking at her student and moving towards the door.
"You made her go away. I can feel her absence. What did you do?" Sakura asked softly.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Tsunade said, pausing at the door, but not turning around to look at her student. "Your parents are here. They've been worried. Let's not worry them further and drop this subject, okay?"
The scene shifted again, and Sasuke found himself watching Sakura run through the familiar halls of Orochimaru's hideout. As he watched the kunoichi hurry down the hall, rushing towards the light at the end of the tunnel, he was amazed to find that Inner Sakura was nowhere in sight. He watched his ex-team mate exit the hall and grab Sai by the scruff of his shirt before catching a glimpse of another Sasuke specter out of the corner of her eye.
Her eyes widened in surprise first before her emotions caught up to her, and the overwhelming feelings of love and loss forced tears to flow freely down her face. Sasuke refused to acknowledge the tiny twinge in his chest at the sound of his name passing between her lips. If he had cared to analyze that twinge, he would have realized that what he was feeling was relief. Relief in learning that at least one of their emotional encounters had been free of influence from her bitchy subconscious, and that her feelings toward him were indeed genuine.
Before he had time to take comfort, the scene changed again and now Sakura was staring down at a bruised and battered Karin, a kunai gripped tightly in her hand. As he watched his specter urge her to kill the fallen red head, he noticed a look of disgust and pity reflected in the medic's emerald gaze as she surveyed the ex-Oto nin's bite-marked scarred body.
It was in that moment that he knew Sakura had learned of his violent sexual past with Karin. The disgust in her eyes wasn't for the girl before her, but rather for the actions committed by the person she had truly loved. Sakura was clearly hurt that Sasuke had not waited for her and was appalled that he had chewed on Karin like a dog worrying a bone. She felt genuinely sorry for the used up dying kunoichi lying at her feet, and she was guiltily thankful that it wasn't herself in this position. To Sasuke's surprise, he saw that this knowledge coupled with the sympathy she felt for Karin had strengthened her resolve, and that she had every intention of killing Sasuke. It wasn't until she had turned around to face him and found that his specter was in the process of delivering a killing blow that he watched that iron will of hers collapse. Finding out that he had been sexually active with Karin and willing to throw her away like trash had hurt Sakura, but turning to find that he was moving to kill her as well was devastating.
A flash of anger distorted Sasuke's face as he reflected on her hypocrisy. It was alright for her to put him down like he was some rabid dog, but he wasn't allowed to kill her in self-defense. If she had really loved him, she would have killed Karin and accepted her own death by his hands. Karin had allowed him to use her as he pleased, and if Sakura was as sincere as she was about her feelings, she would have done the same. In that moment he wanted to feel his hands wrapped around the pink-haired kunoichi's throat, emerald eyes looking up at him in worshipping admiration as he squeezed her last breath out from between her pouty lips.
Angrily he turned his back on the unfolding memory and began to head for the exit. Had he cared to look over his shoulder he would have seen that during her second attempt to kill him, she had stopped purposefully so that he could take the kunai from her. And as his specter had moved to stab her, she had gazed lovingly into his blind eyes and absolved him for every wrong he had committed her, and would have died still loving him if Naruto had not rescued her at the last minute.
Instead Sasuke marched angrily through the exit none the wiser, and the memory shattered behind him.
###
"Learn anything interesting in there?" Kisame asked. He had finally managed to set his head back on his shoulders. His now empty arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against a wall.
"Nothing worth sharing," the Uchiha shrugged his shoulders dismissively. "She wasn't in there, so it really doesn't matter what I saw."
"Well I guess you better keep looking then," advised the shark-nin, pointing to a door similar to the door leading to Sakura's own bedroom. The words The Incident spelled out in razorblades.
Sasuke let out a long suffering sigh. His patience was growing thin, and he was beginning to wonder if he could develop a plan of escape without having to find his ex-team mate. Although he found this exploration of her mind interesting, it was beginning to become tiresome. He entered the room silently hoping this would be the last he'd have to enter.
He recognized Sakura's bedroom and immediately felt discouraged when she was nowhere in sight. However, the light to the adjourning bathroom was on, and he peered cautiously in. He was surprised to find her lying on the floor, blood pouring swiftly from deep gashes down her wrists, the kunai still gripped in her hands. Despite the appearance of fresh tears on her cheeks, she appeared to be already dead.
"You always were weak," he commented, his cold eyes took in the image of her bleeding body in disgust. As he moved to exit the room, he spotted a piece of paper on her bed and picked it up. As suspected, it was her suicide note. Before he could think better of it, he began to read.
I don't know if anyone who reads this will care enough to understand why I did what I did, but I can't exit this world without having my final say. It's funny, everything in my life was going so well. I had completed my training under Shishou, I was free of her, Naruto has come back, we were hot on Sasuke's trail…but whenever things seem to be going so well, I always seem to fuck it up don't I? I have no excuse to my actions, that demon is gone. I have been in full control of myself and I've destroyed myself as a result of it. Perhaps the problem has never been my unruly subconscious, but rather myself. I should have killed Sasuke. He's a threat to my village, he's helped to spark the Fourth Great Ninja War, but I still love him. How self-destructive is that? That's what really disgusts me. I'm in love with a violent nukenin who has no respect or loyalty to anyone. He's killed his teacher Orochimaru, he's killed his brother, he exploited the team he formed himself, and poor Karin! I can't believe what he did to her. What's really upsetting is that the entire time I was staring at her degraded body, all I could think was thank kami it's not me. Isn't that fucked up? This girl is dying at my feet and all I can think of is myself. And that same selfishness is what kept me from killing Sasuke. How insane is it to have living proof of what happens to a woman who falls in love with an Uchiha, and still I fucking love him? I should have been able to cut him into little pieces after seeing what I saw, but what did I do? I cried and nearly got myself killed, twice. How pathetic. And I can't blame everyone for thinking of me as a traitor. They're absolutely right. I wasn't loyal enough to Konoha to end Sasuke's life, instead I was loyal to my own selfish desires. I've let everyone down and put everyone in danger. I helped lead us into war because I failed. What's wrong with me? How can I still be a bad person when that part of me has been locked away? For once, I'm going to do a selfless act. I'm going to save the village the trouble of court marshaling and executing me, and just end my own life. This way I don't embarrass my parents further. They can't even look at me let alone speak to me, but I can still feel their hatred. It's oppressive. All I ask for in return is a quiet funeral and for people to think kindly towards me if they reminisce about me.
See you in the next life,
Sakura
Sasuke threw down the letter and steeled himself against pitying her. Under the orders of the Konoha Elder Council, his older brother had killed his entire clan and left him alone in the world. Although suicide had crossed his mind a few times in his life, he prided himself in staying strong and deciding to seek revenge instead. He understood her feelings of loneliness and isolation, but he convinced himself that he would not feel sorry for her because she had attempted suicide. If she wanted death so badly, he'd be more than willing to oblige her request.
As he walked out of her bedroom, he paused by her bathroom to see her prone and bleeding body one more time. Despite his strong opinion earlier, he couldn't help but feel slightly moved at her broken state. Would she attempt this again once he brought her back to reality?
He tried to convince himself that it didn't matter whether she did or not as he walked out of the room and back into that endless hallway of doors. Without even bothering to engage is conversation with Kisame, he moved towards the next door. This one was shaped like a shoji sliding door. The words The Portrait and the Artist (And What Could Have Been) were written in beautiful pen and ink calligraphy on the paper door.
Sliding open the door and entering, he found himself in an unfamiliar darkened apartment. Not seeing anyone there, he turned around to leave when he heard what sounded like a thump from the back of the apartment. Cautiously, he moved through the living room and crept down the darkened hallway, pausing at the door that he deadended at. Putting his ear to the door, he heard another thump as well as a murmured cry.
Slowly pushing the door open, he was immediately greeted with the soft warmth of candlelight emitted from dozens of candles scattered around a modest-sized bedroom. An easel and canvas blocked his view of the bed, but he didn't mind. Drawn on the canvas in black ink was a portrait of Sakura as he had never seen her before. It was a nude portrait, but tastefully done. Despite the vulnerability of her nudity, she looked confident, almost dangerous, with the kunai clutched in her hand and the subtle smirk on her lips.
A poorly suppressed moan ended his careful scrutiny of the portrait and brought his attention to the bed. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw and how it made him feel. There on the bed was a very nude, very aroused Sakura lying underneath an equally nude dark haired young man, her arms and legs thrown around him as they kissed deeply. The only problem was that she wasn't in this position with a Sasuke specter, the young man she clung to so passionately was in fact his replacement, Sai.
With barely suppressed rage, he moved forward and reached to yank the artist-nin off of her, furious at the notion that Sai had replaced him in this aspect as well. However, as his fingers closed around the ex-Root member's shoulder, Sasuke's hand slipped through the apparition. Unconsciously, he let out the tiniest sigh of relief to find that this was another specter. As messy as he knew their reunion was going to be, he didn't want to have to drag a nude and emotional Sakura away from a sexual fantasy with a man that wasn't himself. He turned to leave, but Sai's breathless words stopped Sasuke dead in his tracks.
"Tell me you love me more than Sasuke," the artist-nin compelled as he planted light kisses on Sakura's neck and chest, lust coloring his normally emotionless tone.
Sasuke was unable to tear his gaze away from the couple as Sakura rolled them, succeeding in straddling his nude hips. Lightly pressing down on his shoulders to lean over him, she peered down at him with a coquette smile. "Wouldn't you prefer I show you how much more I love you?" she asked coyly before crashing her lips down against his.
Clenching his fists angrily, Sasuke stormed out of the bedroom, the sounds of Sakura's throaty moans ringing in his ears as he marched out of the apartment. Before he could stop himself, he began to question if what he had seen was merely just a fantasy or a memory. The past two rooms had been memory, so what's to say that this room was any different. His anger reached a boiling point when he exited the room and was greeted by Kisame, a knowing grin planted on his face.
Something inside the Uchiha snapped as he reflected on everything he had just witness while Kisame continued to flash him that annoying shiteating grin. Unable, or more likely unwilling to process his feelings and aching to vent out his frustrations, Sasuke punched the shark-nin squarely in the face, knocking his head off and sending it rolling further down the hall.
"What the hell did you do that for?" the ex-Kiri nin shouted as his head rolled to a stop and his torso scrambled to catch up and regain possession. However, Sasuke was faster and he snatched the head out of the torso's grasp.
"You've been playing me this whole time!" Sasuke snarled accusingly. "She ordered you to show me specific rooms didn't she!"
"I have to do what she says," defended Kisame. "I'm trapped here forever, remember? If I do what she asks, I find that my time here is less unpleasant."
"I'm through playing these games," Sasuke countered. "Show me where Sakura is so I can get the hell out of here." His tone was quiet but threatening.
"I've shown you everything she wanted you to see. Sakura's in there," the headless torso pointed to an already opened heart-shaped door with the word Love in dark red letters.
"You better not be fucking with me," Sasuke warned before throwing the head further down the hall, watching the torso scramble after it. Glaring at the word labeling the door hatefully, he pushed the door further open and entered, finding himself back at the training grounds he had frequented with the rest of Team 7 during his early gennin days.
He didn't have to search long for his ex- team mate, she was standing a few feet away from him, her gaze fixed on the specters of the younger Team7. The trio was napping in an open grassy field, cuddling together, the specter of Sakura flanked on both sides by her team. A much younger Sasuke's arms wrapped themselves possessively around the younger kunoichi's waist and held her close while her hands were linked to Naruto's, their fingers interlocked. They looked at peace in the warm sunshine.
Tearing his gaze from the serene image, he surveyed his ex-team mate. She was dressed in a white sundress, her arms wrapped securely around herself. Her hair moved gently in the breeze and slightly obscured her sad eyes. As he watched her gaze sadly at the scene before them, clearly desiring to fulfill this fantasy, he briefly acknowledged how beautiful she had become, his anger from before forgotten.
"Sakura, it's time to go," Sasuke's gentle yet firm tone gained the pink haired medic's attention. Wordlessly she nodded, and followed him back into the hall, up the stairs and through the trap door back into Inner Sakura's former prison.
If I promised you there wouldn't be a Mind Fuck pt. 4, would you leave me a review? I hope you all liked it and I promise the next update will be a whole new chapter (I've already got the title picked out and everything). Thank you again for reading!
