It had been a week since the shoot out and since then they had spent countless hours with federal and local law enforcement telling and retelling their stories. No one was happy they had not been informed or included in the bust, but were more than willing to forgive this oversight when Kelly and the Angels deferred all credit to the FBI in return they left their names out of the public records. Nicholas was going to be alright but Interpol had quickly moved him out of the country, to avoid questions on why Interpol had been conducting an operation on US soil. Kelly didn't know if or when she would ever get to talk to him again, but at least she knew he was safe for now and they would meet again someday, Kelly knew it in her heart. The bright spot to the last week had been Jill's dinner. In typical Jill fashion she had ordered half the menu and washed it down with some very expensive champagne. When the waiter presented the bill to Sabrina, she was speechless. Bosley quickly stepped in and said the meal was on Charlie, noting it was worth it to see Sabrina speechless and everyone safe.
Kelly heard Julie and Tiffany coming down the stairs. They were both flying out that day, Tiffany had to get back to her fiancé and Julie had a photo shoot in the Bahamas. Kelly had made her peace with Julie, they had talked well into the night and Kelly had agreed to help Julie with her next charity project as penance for her actions. Kelly was a little leery of what Julie had up her sleeve, but she owed Julie that much.
Tiffany gave her bag to the driver and walked over to Kelly, "Come see me soon okay? And take care of yourself Kel, RELAX. Call me if you need me, day or night." Kelly nodded pulling Tiffany into a long hug, "Thanks and I am going to hold you to it." Tiffany wiped her eyes and smiled, "I'm counting on it."
Next Julie gave her a hug, "It's not too late, you can still come to the Bahamas with me. Plenty of sun, water, sand, rum punch and some sweet eye candy to keep your mind occupied. I'll even let you model for me. Free clothes Kel, I know how you like that."
Kelly shook her head, "I'm not up for that just yet, but when I am you will be the first stop I make. Keep that rum punch on ice for me and I will get there, I promise."
Julie smiled as she walked out the door, "Alright Kel, I'll keep the drinks on ice, but give me a call, and soon. I want to know how you are doing, for real."
Kelly nodded as she followed Julie to the door, "I promise."
Kelly walked into the library feeling restless. The Senate was in recess, the FBI had finally released her to go home, but Kelly wasn't sure she could face the empty house in California alone. She didn't want to ask anyone to stay with her, they all had lives they had already put on hold long enough. Kris and Jill were supposed to fly back to Europe tomorrow. Sabrina and Bosley were flying back to California later today.
Sabrina walked into the library an hour later and noticed Kelly looking out the window. "Want to talk about it?"
Kelly seemed surprised at Sabrina's presence, "Nothing, just feeling sorry for myself. Lame, I know."
"Well if anyone has a right to feel that way you do. I just hate to see you so sad. Yell, scream, get it out of your system. I bet you will feel better. Stop trying to be in control your emotions all the time Kel, we won't judge you for letting loose every now and then."
Kelly nodded at Sabrina, "Alright here you go and remember you asked for it. I'm tired of following the rules. I have been controlled. I have spent my life hiding my emotions, doing the polite thing and what do I have to show for it? I am tired of getting kicked and getting up. I just wanted to be loved. Why is that so hard? Why don't I deserve to be happy? I'm not in jail, I easily could have been. I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict and I easily could have been both, plenty of the kids I grew up with are. You know there are still times when I have a craving for heroine and I didn't even intentionally take the stuff. I just want to be loved, I just want to have a family, and be able to watch them grow up. Why is that so wrong? Why can't I just get one break? Everybody leaves." Kelly finished her diatribe at the bar where she started fixing herself a drink. Kelly looked over at Sabrina, "Yes, I know selfish and lame. Don't mind me, I'll get over it."
Sabrina shook her head, "Kel, I'm not judging you. You are loved and the same thing that kept you from becoming a felon or an addict is going to get you through this. You are special, but even if you had everything in the world going for you it still would not guarantee a happy ending. Bad things happen to good people. Life isn't fair, it just isn't. But Kelly, you do have something very important going for you." Kelly looked over at her. "You have me; you have Jill, Kris, Bosley, Tiffany, Julie, Charlie. You have friends Kelly, people who will be there, day or night; we love you."
"I know. I'm just frustrated. I feel so overwhelmed. I know I'm lucky and I'm grateful for everything and everyone who has helped me in my life. I am grateful for you and Jill getting me out of my shell and teaching me how to trust at the academy and so many times since then. I'm grateful for Kris, Bosley, Tiffany, Julie and Charlie for standing by me through so many other times. I'm just tired of needing help. I know my story is amazing - orphan, troubled foster kid, police officer, detective, shot twice in the head and survived, happily married to a US Senator, and now a US Senator. Isn't that a hoot? Bri, I know it will work out and I know you and everyone will support me, I'm just tired of needing it. I want normal and uneventful. I just wonder sometimes how many times I can get knocked down and still get up. Sometimes I just want to run away and never look back."
"Kelly, you don't think I wonder about that too? We all do from time to time, it is natural, when you are getting hit from all sides. Don't beat yourself up over it, you are human. I know you have been through a lot and you didn't deserve all that junk you had to go through growing up, or now, but focus on all the good you do."
"What arranging fancy dinner parties? Helping rich clients when I was a detective? Putting men in jail so they can get out and kill?"
"NOW THAT IS NOT FAIR and you know it, we helped a lot of people rich and poor. I'm not even talking about when you were a detective, I'm talking about all the people, especially kids you gave your time to." Sabrina could tell she had gotten through because Kelly put her drink down and started studying the carpet. Sabrina knew of all things that was Kelly's weakness, "How many kids had Christmas because of you? How many kids have jobs or have gone to college because of you? How many kids have you given a hug to and told them to hang in there they could do it. Kelly, I have seen you, you give your time, your money, your heart to those kids at the shelter down town. You gave them hope and love. What about Skip? You changed his life, you were the only person who could reach him, he was able to connect with his Mom because you had helped him get to that point. I bet you don't even know how many times you have gone to help some kid at the Lost Angels home in the middle of the night. You make a difference Kelly, you change peoples lives because of who you are. Don't regret all the experiences that made you that person. Make no mistake about it – you are loved by a lot of people and you have made a difference. There are kids out there now, who have a chance because of you. I know this is not the life you wanted and I am so very sorry about Carl and the baby, but there are a lot of reasons to keep going. And I'm one of those reasons Kelly. I need you. My son needs you. Who else is he going to run to when his mother gets too strict?" Kelly turned to see the tears in Sabrina's eyes.
Jill and Kris had walked in unnoticed while Sabrina was talking. "We need you too, Kel. I'm not sure what all this is about, but if anyone deserves to throw their hands up and leave it all behind it is you Kelly. God knows you deserve to go sit on a beach somewhere and forget all of this, but please don't. Well do it for a little while, as long as you take me that is, but then you have to come back because we would miss you horribly." Jill said ending with a dramatic flourish that made Kelly smile and Sabrina and Kris rolled their eyes.
"Besides," Kris said as she put an arm around Kelly's shoulder, "You are my sanity check, when my extremely dramatic sister is around." Jill started making faces at Kris and Kelly, rolling her eyes and then crossing them. Sabrina not so gently cuffed Jill on the shoulder, "You can't be serious about anything. Can you?"
Jill put on her most serious look, "Sabrina, there is a time to be serious and a time to not be serious. You my dear friend are serious way too much of the time and so I have an obligation to offset your seriousness with my unseriousness." Sabrina rolled her eyes.
The group could not hold it in any longer and started laughing so hard they landed in a jumble on the couch trying to catch their breath as they looked at each other. Kelly looked at each of her friends and her heart was overwhelmed with love for these women that had taught her how to trust, how to love and be loved, they really were her strength and with them beside her she knew she would never be totally alone. There were still hard times ahead but there would always be someone there with a help hand or shoulder.
Bosley walked in and did a double take at the angels sprawled out on the couch and floor. He smiled and walked toward the girls. "And just what do we have here? Are you taking a break when there is work to be done?" Bosley finished in his best time is money voice.
Jill looked over at the other girls, a mischievous look in her eyes, the others caught the look and nodded. Jill said put on her most sincere look, "Now Bos we were taking care of some very important business."
Bosley, knew that look meant trouble, but he could never resist that look from Jill and moved closer to the couch, "and what important business are you taking care of?"
"Cheering up a friend." Bosley looked over at the girls one by one, "Well it must have worked because you all look happy to me."
"Oh, it did Bos, but we could use your help on one more important detail" Jill said as she beckoned Bosley closer, just as Bosley got within reach Jill yelled now and the angels pulled Bosley down on the couch with them in a heap. As Bosley fell back against the couch laughing, he thought how good it was to laugh again and how wonderful it was to see Kelly smile. It was the first time she had looked relaxed in over a month. These girls were amazing, and he was so happy to be part of their family. Together they could overcome any problems.
Thanks for reading and I'm sorry it took so long to complete. I hope you liked.
S
