Dosu, Kin, and Zaku were walking to the Leaf Village.

"Dosu," Zaku started, "I'm hungry."

"Damn it Zaku, when are you never?" Dosu asked.

"Whenever I eat something."

"Except you're never satisfied."

"Your mom's never satisfied!" Zaku sneered

"Zaku you will suffer the wrath of Dosu!" exclaimed Dosu as we swung at Zaku with his melody arm.

"Both of you stop!" Yelled Kin. "There's a village up ahead, we can get food there."

"A village?" asked Zaku, "We shall rape their crops and burn their women! We'll leave not a single soul alive! They will fall beneath our power and beg for mercy, but we will laugh and slaughter them! We will condemn them all to hell! When we are finished we shall enter hell itself, to further torture and mock them! When it is all over they will know our names, the ones who destroyed all things good!"

Dosu and Kin stared at Zaku, completely horrified by his response.

"I mean, let's get food?" Zaku responded.

They entered the village, and the sight was a shock. Buildings were reduced to rubble, and dead bodies were everywhere. There were some survivors wandering around. The trio walked up to one of them.

"What happened here?" Dosu asked.

The survivor turned to him, she was covered in wounds. She answered, "A clan of shinobi attacked our peaceful village, they destroyed everything and took the children with them when they left!"

"Do you have any food?" Zaku whined.

"All of our food was taken with the children." The survivor answered.

"Looks like we need to find that clan." Dosu stated. "Where did they go?"

"They headed to the mountain in the east." the women said.

"Okay," replied Dosu, "Zaku, Kin, let's head to that mountain. Zaku? Where are you?"

Zaku was no where to be seen.

"He's over there!" Kin said as she spotted Zaku, who was in a pile of rubble.

"Dude!" He shouted, "I found playboy magazines!"

Dosu approached Zaku. "What the hell Zaku? That's a pamphlet on breast cancer!"

"Yea man, but it shows boobs!"

"Just leave it, we need to find that clan!" Kin stated.

"But what about boobs?"

"You can stare at breast cancer later!" Dosu yelled, "Let's get to that mountain."

On the way up the mountain a conversation started on what kind of shinobi they'll be facing when they found them.

"I think they'll leaf shinobi." Kin stated.

"What would leaf shinobi want with a random village here?" Dosu asked.

"Well the Land Of Sound isn't at good terms with the Land of Fire." Kin replied.

Zaku burst out,"No it must be Octopus shinobi from the Village Hidden in the Octopus! They must have come to rape the children with tentacle jutsu!"

Dosu and Kin stared at Zaku, once again, shocked at his idea.

Dosu gathered strength to speak, "Zaku...what the fuck man?"

"What? Are you just jealous that I know what's happening and you don't?"

"What are smoking?" Kin asked

"Breast cancer pamphlets." Zaku answered.

"You're a freak, you know that right?" Dosu said.

"That's funny coming from a guy with a hunchback!" Zaku replied.

"At least I'm not obsessed with breast cancer and tentacle rape!"

"At least I didn't make a whole orphanage lose their hearing!

"I was testing new sound jutsu!"

"You killed them all after!"

"It was mercy killings!"

"Then you killed their families!"

"Mercy killings!"

"You burned the whole village down after!"

"That village was, um...blocking my view of the trees!"

"The fire spread to the trees and burnt the whole forest down!"

"To recycle the environment! Those trees were old!"

"Recycle? That place is just a barren wasteland now!"

"Well, you're the one who covered the place with paper bombs and destroyed the village when they tried to rebuild it!"

"What was I supposed to do? Save the paper bombs for later? You gave them to me!"

"To kill the ninja attacking us!"

"Those where angry villagers attacking you because you burnt their entire land down!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" Kin shouted. "We're here."

They arrived at a huge fort, with lot's of fallen shinobi inside, there where only three ninjas still standing.

"Hey, I recognize those three!" Dosu stated.

"Yea, I think those are the hookers I hired a while ago"

"Damn it Zaku!" Dosu exclaimed, "They're Leaf ninja, not hookers! And two of them are guys, why did you hire male hookers?"

Zaku answered, "Sound...stuff..."

"Whatever, let's think of a plan and attack." Dosu decided.