Dosu, Kin, and Zaku continued their journey to the Hidden Leaf village. After days of walking they were almost at the Land of Sound's border.
"When we get there I'm going to like, kill everyone." Zaku announced.
"No! Our mission is to replace the ramen noodles with black licorice!" Dosu rebuked.
"Well I'll kill them all with licorice!"
"After we replace the noodles!"
"I'll replace your noodle!" Zaku shouted.
Dosu and Kin were shocked once again.
"Um," Dosu started, "let's keep moving." They kept walking. They walked and walked, but the village was nowhere in sight. Zaku's stomach growled.
"Damn it! I'm still starving." he yelled.
"Look, there's a Denny's up ahead!" Kin told them as she pointed off to the distance.
"GRAND SLAM HERE I COME!" Zaku screamed, and he started sprinting to the building. The others followed, and they soon arrived at the Denny's. They stopped outside the doors.
"Um, we have no money." Kin said with disappointment.
"Go whore yourself by that lamppost and earn us some money!" Zaku demanded.
"Hell no!" She replied.
"Why don't we just pull a dine'n'dash?" suggested Dosu.
"Great idea! Good thing I thought of it!" Zaku stated.
"I thought of it!" Dosu replied.
"I thought of your mom! She was fat and ugly! But she made good cookies!"
"Shut the hell up!" Kin said, annoyed by Zaku's outburst.
"No you shut up slut, go back to your Lamppost!"
"All of you shut the fuck up!" screamed Dosu. "Can't we steal food like civilized people?"
"Fine." Kin and Zaku said simultaneously. They then headed inside the Denny's. There was no one inside, except a waitress and a cook. They were seated in a booth by the door, perfect for escape. The waitress put a cigarette out and walked over to them.
"Wait can would you like to order?" she asked them.
"Sex with a side of homicide!" Zaku shouted.
Dosu and Kin weren't surprised at his outbursts at this point, but the waitress however, was horrified.
"I mean, grand slam." Zaku ordered, "like I did to your mother!"
The waitress ignored his comment and asked Dosu, who also ordered and grand slam. She then asked Kin.
"A salad please." Kin said.
"YOU BITCH!" Dosu screamed at her, "YOU DON'T GO TO DENNY'S AND NOT ORDER A GRANDSLAM!"
"Uh...grand slam please." Kin corrected.
"Anything you kids would like to drink?" the waitress asked.
"Tears of the orphans who watched the slaughter of their parents!" Zaku yelled.
"Okay, one water. Anything else?" she asked.
"Coke." Dosu answered.
"Sprite." Kin answered.
The waitress wrote their orders down and walked behind the counter and gave the order to the cook. Zaku started shoving packets of jam and peanut butter in his pockets.
"Zaku what are you doing?" Dosu asked him.
"Well if we're going to dine'n'dash, we might as well take all this stuff.
"Good idea, take everything." Dosu suggested.
"Aw yeah, free forks!" Zaku announced as he shoved all the silverware into his pockets. Eventually everything on the table was shoved in their pockets. Ketchup and jam oozed from their pockets.
"Hey Dosu," Zaku started, "what about the table? It's a nice table."
Dosu thought for a second, then replied, "We'll take it when we leave."
The waitress was brought their food over. "There's a problem with the drink machine so the drinks will be late." She explained.
"It's okay, we can wait." Dosu answered.
As soon as the plates were placed on the table, the Sound Trio started eating. Since all the utensils were taken they had to eat with their hands and faces. Nothing they weren't used to. Zaku's face never left his plate, he just slammed it on the plate and inhaled his food. Dosu used his food absorbtion
and held his plate up to his face. Kin kept throwing food in her facing, sending pieces of eggs everywhere. After sixty seconds they finished their food.
"Okay, we wait until the waitress turns around, then we use our ninja skills to sneak out the door." Dosu instructed.
The waitress walked back with the drinks. "We only have Pepsi, will that do?"
"FUCK YOUR PEPSI! DOES THIS WORK INSTEAD OF PAYMENT?" Dosu screamed, "NOW!"
Kin threw a paper bomb at the window, causing the wall to collapse and sent glass shards flying everywhere. "Out the window!" She shouted.
The Sound Trio jumped out the hole in the wall and started running.
"Damn it I forgot the table!" Dosu announced as he turned around and ran back to the Denny's.
Once he got inside the waitress ran out and saw the hole in the wall and Dosu.
"Dine'n'dashers! Quickly, get out here Gaara!" she screamed.
"Wait," Dosu said as he ripped the table from the floor, "did you say Gaara?"
Gaara ran out from the kitchen wearing a chef hat.
"Time to cook up a sandstorm! Haha, get it? Cook? DIE!" Gaara shouted.
"Gaara is the cook? What the fuck?" Dosu yelled. He then ran back through the window carrying the table. Gaara started sending sand at him to attack, but Dosu dodged them. He ran back outside and met up with Kin and Zaku.
"Fucking Gaara is in there!" Dosu warned.
"What? Fuck Gaara? Sorry bro, I ain't gay like you!" Zaku remarked.
"Aw shit, the cops are here!" Kin yelled as the three of them ran down the road.
"Hurry!" a voice shouted from the van, "They're getting away!"
The van sped up and caught up to the sound shinobi. It stopped in front of them and the back doors opened, revealing Orochimaru.
"WHO WANTS CANDY? Oh, it's just you three." Orochimaru said with disappointment, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the Leaf Village?"
"We where just heading there." Dosu explained.
"Um," Orochimaru started, "Go look over that hill."
The three walked to the hill, and looked over it. On the other side was a vast ocean.
"That's the ocean," explained Orochimaru, "You travelled north. The Leaf Village is south."
"SON OF A BITCH!" Dosu screamed, "KIN CAN'T YOU READ A MAP?"
"Dude, it's harder than it looks!" replied Kin.
"That's what she said!" remarked Zaku.
"Let me see that map!" Dosu said as he snatched the map from Kin. "This is another breast cancer pamphlet! Where the fuck are you people finding these?"
"BREAST CANCER?" Zaku screamed as he grabbed the pamphlet and stuffed it in his mouth. "DELICOUS!" He shrieked in excitement.
"It's going to take forever to get back!" Dosu stated.
"This actually works out." Orochimaru replied.
"How?" Kin asked.
"Your mission is to replace all the ramen noodles with black licorice," Orochimaru started, "but have you thought about where you're getting them from? North from the Land of Sound's shore is a remote island with a nation known as the Land of Vikings. It's rumoured to have vast amounts of black liquorice. You three should head there and get all the black licorice possible!"
"Excellent idea Lord Orochimaru!" Kabuto said from the front seat.
"We'll head there right away!" Dosu stated. Then the Sound Trio headed to the docks to begin the overseas journey.
