Disclaimer: I am not Eoin Colfer therefore I do not own Artemis Fowl
Chapter Six: Guides and Movies
"What!!!" both Artemis and Holly exclaimed, looking worried. Then Artemis came up with a plan.
"I was on my laptop when a sound came from one of the guest rooms, Holly and I met at the door and…"
"We were stunned by…by a wizard who put the Imperious curse on us," Holly interrupted. Artemis looked at her strangely. (N/A: I don't own Harry Potter either)
"The Imperious curse?" asked Butler a twinkle in his eye "and what did he make you do?" Artemis hesitated.
"He made us go to sleep," he said.
"Aah" said Butler "Now what really happened?" Artemis and Holly exchanged glances. Then Artemis gave in.
"Well I was on my laptop, Holly came in wearing a green dress and… oh never mind, she wanted to go for a walk and she forced me into jeans, blue shirt and sneakers. Then we got coats and went outside. Then…"
"Then we went back inside and went to the closest room and I suppose we fell asleep while talking," interrupted Holly. Butler could see that something was up from the meaningful look his charge gave his girlfriend.
"And nothing else happened?" he asked.
"Well we did have a magical moment on the hill," said Holly who always told the truth to her friends. Artemis and Holly both went red.
"Right and nothing else when you went inside you didn't… you know…" Butler started.
"NO!" yelled the victims astounded that the thought even crossed his mind.
"We just fell asleep on the couch still in our coats from outside," said Artemis shocked at the very thought.
"Good," said Butler, who was obviously relieved. By this time they were inside, Artemis still over Butler's shoulder.
"I think you can put Arty down, Butler," said Holly. Butler swung Artemis down gently, placing him on the ground.
"See you guys later then…" said Butler uncertainly, edging out of the room. Artemis glanced at Holly and shrugged his shoulders.
"Well a genius has to do what a genius has to do," he said, walking out of the room, 'that means I need to go to my room and do some research." He left Holly standing in the room, bewildered. She thought for a minute then decided to find Foaly and Mulch.
Meanwhile Artemis had disappeared into his room. He got onto his laptop and opened up Google. He sat for a moment, thinking of what to put in. He quickly looked at the cameras to see if anyone was coming. They weren't so he typed 'love guide' into the Google search bar. He looked at the sites that came up. He scrolled down and went through five pages until he found it. Love for Beginners: a guide to being the best boyfriend possible. He clicked on it and it opened a site with all the rules required. He read it, intrigued by the ideas.
While he was reading Foaly and Mulch were having a conversation in the kitchen, while Mulch was eating.
"Artemis and Holly eh?" he asked Foaly. Foaly was deep in thought.
"It's- interesting," he said, "a penny for your thoughts" Mulch looked confused for a second, then realised what he meant,
"Oh, right- well I think that it will prove to be interesting as well, but Artemis and Holly…" he burst out laughing, "I mean come on a elf and a human, a criminal and a cop, it just doesn't work and then there is the point that the way that they met was Artemis kidnapping Holly and holding her for ransom, they hated each other for years. Now they are- (Mulch laughs again) together," he choked through his laughter. Foaly laughed with him. Soon both were rolling on the floor in hysterics.
Holly walked in for a second, then changed her mind and walked out. She then decided that she would go to Artemis's room and see what he was researching.
Artemis read through the guide, the information sinking into his huge brain. The information itself was logical once he had read it and he had to admit that he now knew how to act around Holly and what to call her. He heard a sound behind him, he turned to see what it was but there was nothing there, so he turned back to his laptop.
"Oh, Arty…"
Holly crept into Artemis's room not bothering to knock. She moved towards Artemis who was facing the other way and looked at his screen. She then saw what it was and noticed how deep in concentration he was. She gasped and noticed Artemis turn. She ducked quickly behind his chair making sure he didn't spot her. He didn't so she stood up.
"Oh, Arty…" she finally managed. Artemis turned quickly, bright red in the face. Holly found herself blushing.
"I…I just wanted to be good enough for you…" he finally said. Holly felt as though the world and her worries had simply melted away into the night. Artemis smiled uncertainly wondering if it was a good thing or not.
"Arty, I like you the way you are," she said "I want the teenager that I fell in love with. Not a boy who needs to research the topic of love, I can teach you enough of that." Artemis smiled sheepishly as though he was three and had been caught with the cookie jar in one hand and a half finished cookie in the other (Though he never was). Holly grinned at him.
"So you're trying to tell me Artemis, that the Artemis Fowl the Second hasn't any knowledge in the subject of 'love' and that he needs his girlfriend with an IQ that is considerably lower than his to teach him. Well I accept the challenge and hope that you will learn a lot in Captain Holly Short's Romance Academy."
"Well I could still put some of the things I learnt to practice," Artemis said "it said that I should take you to a movie or something," Artemis thought for a moment.
"Well Christmas eve is tomorrow maybe they will leave us in peace for a bit and we can do something special," he said.
"Good idea," said Holly who then leant closer and whispered in Artemis's ear, "I love you," Artemis didn't have anytime to reply because his lips were then occupied in a kiss. Both were oblivious to the fact that Butler was standing in the doorway about to call them for lunch. He decided not to disturb them and then to edge out of the room as Holly's hand founds its way to Artemis's hair. Ahh young love he thought as he left them to have his own dinner.
Butler came down the stairs thinking over what he just saw. His principle Artemis Fowl, the Artemis Fowl the Second had a girlfriend. It was just too hard to believe. But he had seen it with his own eyes. He couldn't deny it. He saw his young charge's lips meet Holly's willingly. That was the amazing bit. Artemis had a girlfriend willingly. What would Mrs Fowl say? He looked forward to seeing the look on her face and Artemis Senior's, which would also prove to be interesting. Butler was still in a thoughtful state as he entered the dining room. Foaly and Juliet looked inquiringly at him.
"They are… a bit busy," he said. Mulch giggled.
"Ew! Romance outside your own species!" he said just as Artemis and Holly came into the room. They blushed and sat down at the table eating their lunch in silence. The others had a normal conversation about things that didn't really matter when Juliet decided to add Artemis and Holly to the conversation.
"We never found out why you two were in the same room last night," she stated knowing that she could just check the cameras later. Artemis and Holly exchanged glances then decided that it was either now or never.
"Well we went for a walk then came and fell asleep in one of the guest rooms," said Artemis,
"Nothing more," said Holly, she decided to terminate the conversation and asked Juliet what they were going to do the next day.
"Why?" asked Juliet suspiciously, Holly grinned at Artemis.
"We wanted to have some time to ourselves," she said. Juliet sighed blissfully.
"Oh, that's so cute!" she exclaimed. Artemis and Holly exchanged puzzled glances. Juliet bounced around the room happily.
"I can't believe it!" she shouted "Where are you going to go?" she asked. Artemis opened his mouth to speak but Juliet continued screaming "I know the BEST restaurant in Dublin, I will go and book a romantic table for two!" she ran into the hall to phone the restaurant. Artemis and Holly exchanged glances.
"Look Holly, as much as a love you, this whole dating thing isn't really my cup of tea," said Artemis, furrowing his forehead. Holly grinned.
"Nothing will make Juliet cancel this and to tell the truth, I think it will be good for you," she said.
"They will think that I am going out with my daughter!" he exclaimed. Holly rolled her eyes.
"You thought that Foaly wouldn't invent something?" she asked him. Artemis slapped his forehead.
"Of course! Temporary humanising pills!" he said. Foaly smirked pompously in the background.
"I know, I am a genius, you don't have to tell me" he said. Artemis rolled his eyes.
"I wasn't planning to." Foaly grumbled for the rest of lunch. Juliet didn't come back for a while and Artemis thought that he heard her go into the guest room they were in the night before. When she came back only Artemis, Butler and Holly were in the room talking about old times.
"And remember the time that I punched you in the face the first time? Your expression was priceless!" said Holly laughing. Artemis wasn't particularly fond of this memory.
"I'm sure it must have been hilarious," he said dryly. Juliet wandered in casually and sat beside her brother. She whispered something to him that Artemis and Holly couldn't quite catch. Butler raised his eyebrows and Juliet smirked, turning back to Artemis and Holly.
"Sooo…what do you want to do now?" she asked. Holly shrugged her shoulders.
"I would say Christmas shopping but we have already got presents, then I would say a snow ball fight but we have already had one, so I don't know," she said.
"I know," said Juliet, "why don't you and Holly watch a movie in your home theatre and we'll do something else!" she said excitedly. Artemis and Holly began to protest.
"But we don't…"
"I like him and all but…"
"BE QUIET!!!" bellowed Butler, "You are going to watch this movie and I am going to choose it for you,"
"But Dom…" started Juliet
"I have a different taste in movies than you think Juliet. So I am choosing this movie whether you like it or not," Butler said. Holly and Artemis followed Butler, looking miserable. But inside their hearts were leaping around in their chests. At least one and a half hours completely alone with the other.
Butler lead them to the home theatre and turned the projector on. The projector itself was actually a modified version of one of Foaly's, but looked like any early 21st century projector. Butler made them sit down on the couch and put a DVD into the drive. He left them sitting on the couch, looking bewildered as Love Actually began to play.
Though neither of them wanted to admit it, they both enjoyed the movie and when not even ten minutes had past Holly was snuggled up to Artemis and his arm was around her. By the end of the movie they felt refreshed and ready to face the bouncing Juliet. Artemis switched off the projector and followed the voices to the lounge. For some weird reason everybody was getting on for a change and Mulch was laughing with Foaly and Butler. Juliet immediately got up and bombarded them with questions, she was quite annoyed that she had run out of time to look at the camera she had set up in the guest room but she hid it. Artemis dismissed her questions with a wave of his hand.
"Look we are going to watch another movie," he said, grabbing Holly's hand and pulling her back into the theatre.
"We are?" she asked. Artemis nodded.
"Yes, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince," he said. Holly looked at him strangely.
"Harry Potter? I never thought that sort of thing would be your energy shake," she said. Artemis looked at her strangely.
"Nice idiom," he said, turning the next movie on. Holly sat down in the couch, preparing herself for the dark movie. She hadn't seen this one as it was still on in the movies on the surface and she hadn't particularly wanted to. Artemis came and sat down beside her, pressing play.
They found themselves laughing more than the previous Harry Potter movies and enjoyed one another's company. Holly sighed as she saw the house elves and centaurs and tried not to complain too much. But as the movie went on, it got darker and darker, and Holly moved closer and closer to Artemis then she screamed as the Inferi jumped out at Harry. When Dumbledore fell off the Lightning Struck Tower, Holly found herself crying at the loss of her second favourite character. (Her first being Luna, of course). Artemis yawned, subtly putting his arm round the upset elf. Holly glanced up at him a grin on her face.
"Nice one Arty, an original move that one, I don't know if I've ever seen that before. Very subtle," she said, all tears gone from her face. Artemis smiled warmly.
"I know it is used all the time, but it does the trick," he said turning back to watch the ending credits, his arm still around her.
"How did you get this movie anyway, Arty?" Holly asked.
"Oh, I've got friends who know people," he said. Holly looked at him quickly.
"All legal right?" she asked. Artemis looked uncertain.
"Mostly legal," he corrected. Holly rolled her eyes.
"Well that ended on a sad note, I think I'm going to bed now," she said walking out and into her bedroom.
Artemis switched the movie off and wandered into his own room. He opened the door to see two pairs of blue eyes staring at him intently.
"Hello simple-toon."
I bet you can't guess who that is. Sorry for taking so long i had actually written it but it needed proof reading and i couldnt be bothered till now. I'll update soon. Next chapter is actually written and is awaiting consent from my commander.
-Captain Short
