Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Some humor at Leon's expense in this chapter…because he's just too much fun as a target. Also, this collection has reached +1000 hits! Woohoo! You guys are awesome!
..:-X-:..
043 – Bring Them All to the Yard
Tifa kept her eyes on the suspect through the one-way glass as Leon walked out of the interrogation room.
"She's still not talking, about anything." Leon said, sounding frustrated. "You want to try?"
"Oh, I don't think she'd take as kindly to me." Tifa snickered.
Leon looked at her with one raised eyebrow, but pressed on. "We can't hold her much longer if she refuses to say anything."
"You could…make her talk." Tifa tilted her head.
"We can't force someone to talk. What are you suggesting, torture?"
"Not torture, per se."
"Torture can't be 'per se'." He scoffed.
Tifa looked at him steadily, "I bet she'd spill if you buttered her up."
Leon blinked, "No."
"Oh come on." Tifa smirked. "Flirt with her, work her over, give her a little somethin'-somethin', maybe she'll come around."
Leon's face in that moment was priceless. "No."
"I forgot who I was talking to here." Tifa leaned forward on her forearms. "Look, I'm thinking she'll surrender some info if she thinks…there's something in it for her."
"But there's not." Leon said firmly.
"I know that—"
"I don't have any…'somethin'-somethin' to give."
Tifa laughed, "Oh yes you do. You're not a piece of meat, but…you are one tall glass of water." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "So just…use what God gave you and get some answers out of that bitch."
Leon looked utterly disturbed. "There's…something wrong with you."
"Just trust me."
"This is stupid. How do you know—"
"She's a woman…It'll work."
He paused and then shook his head, "No. I'm going to get answers out of the suspect, but as a professional…not some sort of…whore."
Tifa shrugged, "Suite yourself, leather pants."
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044 – Long Distance
"What?" was the half-coherent answer.
Sitting in the tent in Deep Jungle, Tifa shifted her hold on the phone. "I need some help…Are you okay?"
"M'fine…What is it?" Leon sounded sluggish.
Tifa flipped through her map of the tropical world. "My most up-to-date map says it's clear all the way to the great waterfall, but when I surveyed the landscape earlier, I found a five foot thick wall of rock blocking off the caves."
"…Rockslide…last summer…" He grunted.
"Oh." Tifa replied, biting the corner of her lip and frowning at the map.
"What?" Leon grumbled.
"It's just…My mission team is almost all rookies…This is a start up mission for them…"
"Point, Tifa, quickly." He said irritably.
Tifa exhaled, blowing her bangs off her forehead, "Are there any pockets of Heartless or Nobodies around it?"
"…Tifa, it's three in the morning here and you called to ask about Heartless?" Leon sounded annoyed.
She looked out to her team, sharpening their weapons idly in the noon sunlight. She shifted and smirked to herself. "Well, that and just to hear your voice. It's been a week here and I've just missed you ever so much—" She chirped in a sickeningly sweet voice.
Leon hung up on her without another word and Tifa snickered, setting her phone down and leaving the tent to round up her team.
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045 - Prank War 4
Tifa waited, two canisters ready in her hands, as she watched Leon open his office door across the hall from hers. As she'd hoped, the balloons she had recruited McCallister and some interns to help her inflate now toppled out of Leon's office and spilled into the hallway.
He just stood there as the five foot tall swamp of helium and rubber swallowed his desk and made it impossible to cross the office. His back stayed turned to her open door. Tifa waited patiently, holding the canisters just below her desk surface.
After a few seconds, Leon turned and gave Tifa a flat look. She offered her best innocent face.
"Is something wrong?" She asked.
He stepped out of the hall, into her office, and closed the door, looking at her. "Is that it?"
"Is what it?" She kept up the façade.
"Balloons…That had to take several hours…Not bad." He nodded slowly, though the little vein in his temple was sticking out. "I'm just wondering if that's all you've got or if—"
Tifa lifted the canisters and depressed both nozzles, aiming at him. Blue and green silly string erupted out of the cans, nailing him square in the chest. He gave no outward reaction, standing there and taking the attack, just giving her a deadpan look.
She moved her hands a little, changing the angles so the silly string landed over his shoulders and decorated the wall behind him as her aim missed some. After a few seconds, she stopped shooting it and calmly set the cans down.
"I'm done now." She said brightly.
Leon reached up and pulled away the strings that had found his face. He looked down at himself, his entire torso covered in the stuff, and then back to Tifa. His jaw flexed and he lifted a hand, pointing to her threateningly.
"You sleep with one eye open." He growled, turning to march back to his office to purge the balloon wall.
Tifa took the opportunity to cover his back with the rest of her silly string ammo.
