Author's Note: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I've been so busy lately, with school, my vampire-kitty story, a top-secret story, and my artwork. But I'll try to update more frequently.

Chapter Four: I can't do this

~~~Quaxo~~~

I looked at a broken bit of mirror hanging on my wall and smoothed my headfur for the fourth time. Today I was going on a date with Jemima. I was so nervous I couldn't sit still. I paced around the room, flicking my tail back and forth irritably. I was so agitated that I was making the lights in my room flicker on and off.

This is only the seven hundredth time you've gone on a date with her, so there's no need to be nervous. Mistoffelees sighed, trying to come across as bored, but I knew how jealous he really was. I did feel guilty over it, but Jemima wasn't very fond of him.

Mistoffelees, toms get nervous when they go on dates with queens. I explained patiently, Not that you'd know anything about that.

Whatever.

"Quaxo, Jemima's here!" Mom called into my room. I smiled and stepped out, looking at Jemima.

"Hey, Jemima." I meowed, grinning.

"Hey, Quaxo." She replied, "Ready to go?"

"Yep." I smiled and took her arm, preparing to leave when Mom hissed into my ear.

"You have until nine o'clock. The curfew still stands." She said, then waved at us when we left.

~~~Outside~~~

"Where do you want to go?" Jemima purred, walking towards a little-traveled part of the Junkyard. I happily went along with her, wondering what exactly she was doing. She dragged me to a broken mattress and sat on it, staring at the sky.
"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" The dark queen meowed, resting her head on my shoulder. I smiled, these were the times I loved the most.

"Yes, almost like you." I nuzzled her head.

"You know those cheesy pickup lines won't work on me." She giggled, purring.

"Then why do I hear a purr?" I teased, twirling a strand of her headfur on my claw.

"Because I'm happy." She replied, climbing into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her, wondering only for a moment how Mistoffelees felt about this development.

"You're lucky you're so small." I smiled at her.

"Why is that?" She asked, her already large eyes widening even more in confusion.

"Well, with my size and all, I don't think it would be a good thing if you were taller." I replied, holding her closer.

"You know another reason why our height similarities are good?" She asked flirtatiously, leaning nearer my face.

"Why is that?" I breathed.

Jemima pressed her lips upon mine with a passion I didn't know she had in her. I winced as she wound her paws into my headfur, but I kissed her back happily. I heard her soft purr in her throat, and I felt mine joining it, mingling in perfect harmony. It was a golden moment.

Of course, Mistoffelees had to come along and ruin my life. I felt the familiar lightweight sensation, and our body was his.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I felt myself regain control over our body and I noticed that Jemima's lips were squashed against mine. I recoiled instantly, dropping my arms, which I then realized were wrapped around the dark queen's body in a way that wasn't, er, suitable for company.

"What's the matter, Quaxo?" She asked, not realizing that it was me in the darkness. "What happened?"

"Uh...I... it-t-t's Mistoffelees." I muttered, blushing furiously. She looked at me, the hurt in her eyes turning to anger.

"Why couldn't you let him be with me?" Jemima hissed, her expression dark and unreadable.

"I di-d-dn't mean t-t-to." I apologized hastily.

"You didn't mean to?" She repeated , hopping out of my lap. "Then why don't youbecome Quaxo again? There's... something I need to tell him." She looked at me, as if expecting me to immediately comply.

Of course, that's what I did. I nodded slowly and attempted to contact Quaxo.

You there, Quaxo? I thought, I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened.

It's fine. He huffed curtly.

She wants to talk to you, so it can't be all bad, can it?

I know she wants to talk. Which is very, very bad, Mistoffelees.

How so? I asked, wondering how naïve I sounded.

You'll find out when I talk to her. Quaxo said, and I swear I heard him sniffle. Then he took over the body again, to my immense relief.

~~~Quaxo~~~

"Jemima, it's me." I said softly, stroking her headfur. She jerked her head away, eyes glistening with tears.

"I-I can't do this anymore, Quaxo." She sighed and sat back down on the mattress.

"Do what?" I asked, somewhat stupidly.

"I can't handle this relationship. It's so unstable, Quaxo. I have to be able to reschedule any date I have with you when you're Mistoffelees and I'm constantly worrying that you'll turn into him." I started to speak, but she cut me off. "Don't, Quaxo, just...don't. You know I have a reason to be afraid you'll turn into him, because it's happened many times now. I wish we could be together, but I'm afraid I want a normal tom. I'm leaving you, Quaxo." She gave me one more peck on the lips before she walked away. I slumped to the ground; that night, I was going to tell her that I loved her.

That...horrid, absolutely awful queen. Mistoffelees snarled in our mind, I'll...I'll...argh!

You won't, bro. We both know it, but thanks for the thought. I quietly thanked him, grateful but surprised at his reaction.

I just can't believe she dumped you. You're everything I'm not, and I have all the bad qualities.

No, you don't. I'm going to wallow in self-pity now if you don't mind. I sighed and held my head in my paws. My chest ached with the effort of keeping the heartbroken sobs inside. A small whimper escaped my lips anyway. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, standing up and walking to my den.

~~~In their den~~~

I walked into the den and headed straight to my room. Mom saw my expression and gently grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around.

"What happened?" She asked gently, her eyes wide with anxiety.

"I don't want to talk about it." I huffed.

"You look like you need to, though." She said, gently guiding me to a cushion in the main part of the den. I sat down slowly, refusing to look at my mother. She seated herself next to me. "Is it Jemima?" She asked.

"Yeah." I heard myself say. "She-she...left me...and I was going to tell her I loved her." I felt the words come tumbling out of my mouth and the tears start to fall.

"Oh, kitten, if I could make this all better, then I would." She pulled me into her lap like she had done when I has younger and hugged me tightly. "But sometimes, a queen doesn't feel the same way for a tom as the tom feels for her."

"I know." I sniffled, wiping my eyes and climbing off her lap.

"Quaxo, I know you'll both find the right queen someday. A queen that understands you both." She nuzzled my head. "I'll get you some cream, okay, kitten?"

"Yeah, Mom. Thanks." I gave her a watery smile as she walked of to get a bowl and the last of our cream.

She returned a few minutes later with the bowl. I nodded my thanks as she handed it to me. She smiled when I lapped the cream up. She waited until I had finished before she spoke again.

"Quaxo, it's going to get better, I know it will." Mom meowed. I suppressed a scoff; she – the queen who still loved Macavity, the Napoleon of Crime, said that is got better after you lost your first love. Sure.

I didn't respond as I walked into our room and very carefully removed every picture of Jemima from my side of the room and stuck them somewhere where I wouldn't lose them, but could never see them. Then I flopped limply onto my mat and sighed heavily. All I wanted to do was wake up and have this all be a dream.

Reality doesn't work like that. You can't wish all the bad things away.

Thank you for the insight, Dr. Mistoffelees.

Sarcastic as ever. I am sorry she left you though, but she just wasn't the queen for you.

I'm thinking we might need a queen for us.

What do you mean by that?

I don't think a queen wants to date half of a tom.

Oh. But no one likes me!

I know.