Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Hank, Harper, and Cooper are mine as well. Enjoy!

..:-X-:..

070 – Paint

"What did you do to the wall?" Leon asked as soon as he walked in.

Tifa glanced over at him. "The little blotches I got from the store didn't help, so I thought I'd get a better visual if I did a few test strips."

"Why?" He closed the door and frowned.

She set the paintbrush down. "Because it makes it look more lived in."

"What's wrong with the color it is now?"

"It's beige. I'm sick of beige." Tifa grimaced. "We've lived here for a year and we're still barely out of the moving boxes. So…" She gestured to the wall. "Preference?"

The three lanes she'd painted on the wall were green, blue, and red. It was a splash of color among the otherwise boring and dull colors of the apartment. Leon looked over the colors with a less-than-enthused expression and shrugged.

"Up to you."

Tifa sighed and rolled her eyes. "Can you at least pretend to be interested?"

"No." He replied flatly. She huffed and he looked at her. "It's paint, Tifa. Do whatever you want."

"Oh, loosen up." She made an arm gesture, forgetting about the other wet brush in her hand.

Blue paint flew off the fibers and sprinkled across the front of Leon's shirt. She stilled her hand and he looked down, looking back at her with an annoyed expression.

"You did that on purpose." He said flatly.

"Well, you deserved it." She scoffed. "What are you doing?"

He had picked up a paint brush and slowly dipped it into the green paint. Without a word, he lifted it up.

"Wait…Put that down…" She took a step back.

He flung the paint off the brush at her and she yelped, throwing her brush at him.

"That was uncalled for!"

Within minutes, the walls were painted…as well as the floor and the furniture.

..:-X-:..

071 – Less Than Subtle

"Of course not. That's gotta be against the rules."

"Screw the rules, Hank; it's plain as naked day." Harper said, puffing lightly on her cigarette. "They've got the hots for each other."

The third recruit shook his head, "You're both nuts. I don't see it."

Hank and Harper looked sideways to Cooper like he was an idiot. Hank shifted. "Doesn't matter. It's against the rules."

Harper rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and they've really gone by the rules so far."

"Shit, look alive." Cooper snapped.

All three soldiers shot to their feet as their commanding officer approached.

"Bored?" Major General Leonhart looked them over.

"No, sir."

"No, sir."

"No, sir, we were just—"

"I know what you were doing." He nodded toward the Great Maw. "Three miles."

"But, sir—"

"Four." He cut Cooper off.

"Yes, sir." All three recruits hefted their weapons up and started the drill.

They had just started running the laps when Hank glanced over at his comrades.

"I think I see it now."

"Five." Leon called after them, tired of their screwing around.

..:-X-:..

072 – She Who Holds her Tongue

Tifa kept a wary attention on the sea witch, though her appearance didn't quite fit the description that Ariel and Triton had given her. Purple, plump, octopus…The woman facing her didn't fit that at all. She looked…more like Tifa: human, dark hair, fair skin.

"I can give you whatever you want." Her voice was too soft, magically-manipulated kind of soft.

"No thanks." Tifa kept her fists raised.

"Are you sure?" Ursula cocked one hip, arms folded provocatively. "Because I've heard of you, Miss Tifa Lockhart, and I know there are oceans of things that you could want back."

"Well, who says I'm supposed to get what I want?" Tifa narrowed her good eye.

Ursula chuckled, still wearing the features of a normal human. "It can be small. Your eye perhaps?"

Tifa's fists tightened as the witch's eyes fixed on the eye patch covering the empty socket where Tifa's left eye had been a year before.

"Pass." Tifa hissed, preparing to attack.

"What about loverboy?" Ursula's words gave her pause.

"What?" She stammered before she could stop herself. "You can do that?"

Ursula's smile twisted the sweet face unpleasantly. "I fortunately know a little magic."

Tifa breathed evenly. "You know enough to bring a man back from the dead?"

"Good as new, not a hair missing from that spiky, blond head." Ursula offered.

"Not…not interested." Tifa said firmly.

"Oh really?" Ursula looked mildly surprised, but her smile was mocking. "Found someone else, have you? Replaced one pretty boy with another?"

Tifa tensed. "No."

This sea witch was walking on dangerous ground, and they both knew it, but she pressed anyway.

"You really think HE would give up this opportunity to bring HIS girl back? You think he's replaced this—" Ursula gestured to the magically-altered body. "—with you?" She cackled loudly.

Tifa gritted her teeth, "And who exactly are you supposed to look like?"

Ursula put her hands on her hips. "You naïve child. Rinoa Heartilly cannot be replaced by the likes of you." She laughed darkly. "You're too broken, too damaged. He wouldn't choose you over her."

Tifa's eyes widened slightly. She'd never known what Rinoa looked like. She'd only barely ever heard of her; Leon wasn't one to chatter about those he lost. Her breath rattled past her teeth for a moment and she flexed her jaw.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." She said and jumped into the air, attacking the sea witch without further preamble.

..:-X-:..

A/N 070: Maybe a tad OOC on Leon's part, but…for the sake of fluff, I had to do it.

A/N 072: Inspired after listening to Poor Unfortunate Souls: the Disney-version, not the eff-ed up mess the JoBros recorded and called a song. Bleh.