"Ready to Break"
"Crawling" – Superchick
"How long will this take?
How much can I go through?
My heart, my soul aches,
I don't know what to do
I bend but don't break
But somehow I'll get through"
Brennan woke up sometime around seven. The room was still pitch black from the shades blocking out the sunlight, but she managed to find her clothes and make her way out of Steven's small mansion.
Somehow they had ended up back to his place, where he had his way with her. The thought that she had only slept with him to keep her friends safe did little to suffice the guilt that threatened to boil over every time she thought of Booth.
She noticed that Booth's car was no longer outside her apartment which made sense. He would've had to gone to work thirty minutes ago. The thought of him made her want to cry, but those were tears she wouldn't let fall until she was inside.
She made it all the way into her living room until she saw the blanket on her couch where she assumed Booth had slept that night, before bursting out in tears.
Never before had she cried as hard as she did now as the realization came to her that she had cheated on Booth. Her tears fell harder as the truth came into her mind of what she had done.
Her heart was broken and there was no one to blame but herself.
It was twenty more minutes before she could at least manage to get herself into the shower and prepare for the day ahead of her.
Later on that morning...
"No one's seen or heard from her?" Booth asked or yelled rather at the Squints.
"Booth calm down" Angela said placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him a coffee.
"Calm down? She didn't come home last night after she said she said she had to see someone! The heels and note you got yesterday could be from a stalker who could have her chained up to a wall somewhere and we won't have a clue until you squints are called in to identify the..."
Booth trailed off trying to rid his mind of the horrible images flashing through his mind.
"I think you're over reacting just a little. She's just taking this case a little hard and probably needs some time to sort out...whatever it is she needs sorting out" Cam said taking a coffee from Angela.
"When was the last time she's ever been an hour late for work!" Booth growled back.
"She's on vacation Booth, and it's about time she took one. Besides she's hardly ever late for work except when..." Cam said catching Angela's eyes who knew exactly what she was thinking.
Booth saw the exchange between the two women and suddenly understood himself. The only time Bones has been late for work has been when she'd been with a man the night before, and Booth hadn't seen her at all.
"Stop alright just stop! I know what you're both thinking and you're wrong alright! I don't know what's been going on with her but she's not acting normal. Something's wrong for her to just back out of a case and then randomly not come home"
"Dr. Brennan threatened to quit last week" Zach said.
"Yeah Zach that's because she thought she was going to lose Booth as a partner, what's your point?" Angela argued back.
"Dr. Brennan said that your personal life should never interfere with your work. That feelings and emotions should be confined when dealing with science." Zach seemed to stop and think about what he had said.
"Hello? Zach what is it? What were you going to say?"
"Dr. Brennan has been going against her own rational logic lately it seems"
"What do you mean?"
"Her relationship with Agent Booth, dropping a case, it's not what the old Dr. Brennan would do"
"The gravedigger case was hard on her Zach; she really thought she was going to die. She had nightmares for weeks. Finally admitting to Booth she had feelings for him is normal considering she thought she'd never see him again."
Angela remembered a conversation she'd had with Brennan months ago
"Last night, we kissed; I don't know why I did it, I just..."
Angela's mouth dropped, but her heart floated. She was so happy Brennan had finally wised up and admitted her feelings for Booth, though she could only wonder if it was the grave digger that made her take the initiative, a thought that left a sour taste in Angela's mouth.
"Wait did you say you kissed him, not the other way around?"
"Well yes I kissed him first."
Angela continued to look at Brennan with a grin on her face while Brennan just sat there wondering what she was thinking.
"I know exactly why you kissed him"
"How do you know when I don't even know?"
Angela's smile got wider
"Let me say this in a way you won't freak out about, you kissed him because he felt safe, and you needed someone to comfort you through all this and since Booth was there you kissed him."
It was true in a way, the past few weeks had been hell for Brennan. She was afraid of her apartment, of the parking garage, and even being alone in the Jeffersonian. Her dreams were filled with her waking up in the dark, the air stuffy, and trying to open a window just to find that all that's there is dirt. She would wake up and find the letter she had written as her last words and read it in the light with all the windows open. For some reason those words, even though they were addressed to someone else, were comfort for her.
"I guess that makes sense"
Angela's eyes grew wide as she realized her slip up. Booth wasn't supposed to know just how close Brennan came to falling apart before she kissed him. Angela could visibly see her best friend slipping away into herself again.
Booth glanced curiously at Angela but Sweets interrupted before he could question her.
"I think Zach's right, in fact you both are. Dr. Brennan and Dr. Hodgins went through an extremely traumatizing experience where they knew there was a possibility that they would never see their loved ones again. They knew there was a chance that you would never even find their bodies"
"Alright I don't need a recap of the worst experience of my life" Hodgins said
"My point is that that incident, followed by the case after, triggered those strong feelings for Agent Booth. It really has nothing to do with why she didn't come home last night though"
Booth looked at him skeptically "Oh really, then how come she won't answer my calls, or anyone else's?"
"Don't you see? She has let both you and Angela in, has trusted you more than anyone, and now I think she has doubts"
"What do you mean doubts?" Booth snarled
"She thinks she made a mistake by letting you see her at her most vulnerable. She's pushing you away to rebuild old walls so it will be easier if something were to happen to you"
"I don't get it, why now?"
"It's this case, there's something about it that reaches Dr. Brennan on a personal level. I heard there was something you wanted me to look at" Sweets said looking at Angela
Angela showed him the picture and the note, as well as the heels.
"The person that took the picture isn't focused on one of them specifically, meaning that the warning meant by it is for both. The note makes reference to an aspiring actress, our victim, an artist, Angela, and a Doctor..."
"Dr. B" Hodgins filled in "Yeah we get it, what's the point?"
"There's a connection between the three of them, we're missing something here"
"What could Bones possibly have in common with our victim?" Booth asked mockingly. He didn't like the fact that someone was stalking his Bones and he didn't know where she was at the moment.
Out of the corner of her eye Angela saw the lab doors open and a disheveled looking Brennan coming through. Even though she had trained her eyes on the side of the lab as she walked towards them, Angela could see the red circles under her eyes, she must've been crying for a while.
Booth turned to see what Angela and the rest of the team was looking at as Bones tried to walk past the platform, shooting a glance at Angela.
Angela nodded and ran down the steps just ahead of Booth.
"Bones" Booth gasped as he grabbed her arm to stop her. Brennan avoided looking at him, staring at anything else but him. His voice was like a dagger piercing through her and she visibly cringed.
"Bones, where the hell have you been? I've been calling you all night!" Booths said his anger rolling off him making her cringe more.
"The battery in my phone must be dead" she said suddenly finding the floor of the lab extremely interesting.
She jumped suddenly as her phone rang out loudly in her pocketbook. Booth clicked his phone shut satisfied that her phone was in fact on.
"Right Bones now stop bull shitting me, I've been worried sick about you all night, and I must've called you a thousand times!"
Angela and Cam stayed back as they saw Booth's anger start to build. Brennan was doing a good job at remaining impassioned under his intense gaze.
"It's highly unlikely that you actually called a thousand..."
"Don't screw with me Bones"
"I don't know what that means" she sounded weak saying it as if she were on the verge of breaking down which didn't go unnoticed by Angela. This was her last effort at avoiding the subject and she was failing.
"Damnit Bones you know exactly what I mean!"
Brennan's hands shook as she looked up at Angela begging her to help her. Angela felt sorry for her friend and wanted nothing more than to save her from Booth's line of questioning.
"Booth..." Angela warned taking a step forward to stand next to Brennan.
Brennan finally looked up at him with somewhat of a blank stare, her eyes solid and cold. He didn't fail to see past the wall that she had built that something was extremely wrong and that she had recently been crying.
Angela stared cautiously at her friend as she looked ready to break. Whatever was going on with her Booth was not helping.
"Come on sweetie sit down" Angela said gently tugging on Brennan's arm.
"No Ange I'm sorry, but you're not bailing her out of this one. She can't just run off without telling anyone where's she's going, then not come home all night."
Brennan pulled away from Angela walking up to Booth, eyes blazing. Her eyes met his and it was clear to Booth how much pain she was in, even if she would never give it away.
"Just because we're dating does not mean you have the right to demand an explanation for everything I do" she said jaw clenched.
"God Bones, you could've at least called but no. You didn't even give me the fucking decency to let me know you weren't dead somewhere."
She met his intensity with her own, her eyes blazing.
"I called Cullen and Cam that should've been enough"
"You called them before you ran off to god knows where, and that's not the point. I waited all night for you to come home, or at least call Bones. You don't even understand how worried I was about you, how worried I am about you"
"Well there's no need to worry, I'm fine"
"Actually Dr. Brennan I think..."
"No one asked your opinion Sweets, so stay out of it!" Brennan yelled at him without ever taking her eyes off of Booth.
"Dr. Brennan I'm just trying to help, we all are. There's obviously some strong emotions here that I think you need to work through"
That grabbed her attention as she turned on Sweets.
"Strong emotions huh? Next you're going to say how I'm mentally unstable after losing everyone right? How I've had all these pent up emotions and it's about time I finally snapped."
She had said it with such venom in her voice that Sweets backtracked afraid of what would come next. The rest of them were quiet, as they saw another crack form in her impervious wall.
"I would never say you were mentally unstable Dr. Brennan"
"Save it, I really hate psychology" Bones said turning to walk back the way she came.
They were all shocked to see Brennan lose her temper like that. Booth was the first to recover from that shock and rushed to catch his partner before she took off again.
"Bones please talk to me, or at least let me come with you wherever you're going. Whoever sent that package might be stalking you"
"I don't need your protection Booth; I can take care of myself"
"I know you can, I just want to be close to you." Booth whispered. He took her hands gently in his and pulled her towards him. She didn't resist, even as his forehead rested against hers.
Temperance knew the danger he was in by being with her, but at that moment she didn't care.
She needed him, more than she had ever needed someone.
"And if I had to crawl,
Well you'd crawl too,
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through"
Her brain reminded her of Steven, how she spent last night, and about how he would try and kill Booth if they were seen too much together.
Her heart was the one that broke down won for once and she nodded her head and let Booth lead her away.
There will be a grand explanation in a few short chapters but I can get those chapters up with more REVIEWS. Trust me it helps. Plus I'm going on strike if I don't get more than two which was the count for last chapter.
So you know click on the button.
