HARRY POTTER AND ICE CREAM DELIGHTS
Author: Luckner
Disclaimer: The characters and their world are the property of J.K. Rowling, various publishers and Warner Bros. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Starting with this chapter I will be moving to a more serious plotline. All of those concerned about diabetes from the high sugar levels should appreciate that.
CHAPTER 3: CARNIVOROUS CALLA LILIES
Fred Weasley was feeling distinctly uncomfortable as the large purple vine reached out and caressed his arm affectionately; he was certain that he had seen this same vine twice before, and it seemed to be getting more 'friendly' on each occasion. It didn't help his confidence that his little sister kept making cute remarks about the 'Carnivorous Calla Lilies' growing next to the trail, or the 'Cannibalistic Chipmunks' that kept running around his feet. After all, this was the Lovegood Forest, and if things like that could exist anywhere in the world it was here. As they went around a bend in the trail Fred shuddered at a mass of giant, and apparently very well fed, Calla Lilies that were arching over the path up ahead. He thought back to that morning and tried to remember how he and his brother had gotten themselves into this mess.
He remembered how just the night before he had received an unexpected owl from Harry Potter in which his young friend had raved about their latest invention, which the twins had asked Harry to test for them. Fred remembered how surprised he was when he read that Harry was staying with the Lovegoods, who everyone regarded as being rather strange; and even more surprised to learn that Harry and Luna had apparently been in Ottery St. Catchpole that very day on what might be considered a first date. But Harry's praise for their new 'Clucking Candies' made him push aside any questions he might have about Harry's place of residence or his relationship with the very odd Luna Lovegood. The twins had made the impulsive decision to visit their friend the very next morning, bringing with them a complete selection of their latest inventions; after all they felt their benefactor deserved nothing less.
What they read in the Daily Prophet at breakfast that morning changed their whole attitude, and they knew that Harry needed to be warned about the storm that was about to break. The Weasleys knew better than most people that the Daily Prophet did a land office business in lies and half-truths; and unfortunately most people seemed to believe the rubbish that the paper contained.
The twins had contemptuously brushed aside their sister's offer to guide them to the Lovegood cottage, and had totally ignored her evil grin as they walked out the back door. Within an hour they were back at the Burrow eating apple pie and ice cream; with no idea how it had happened. They didn't even like apple pie, but the craving had been irresistible. After finishing thepie they started out again, entered the creepy Lovegood forest, and immediately afterwards found themselves walking into the back door of the Burrow desperately craving pie and ice cream. The bowls of pie were already sitting on the table with Ginny sitting opposite, a Cheshire cat smile on her face.
"I thought you two might like some delicious apple pie," she said sweetly.
"What's going on," Fred demanded as he plunged his spoon into the hated apple pie.
George, his mouth already full of the gooey substance, nodded his head in confusion.
"Well I offered to help you; but no, you had to do it the hard way. Enjoying your pie? On my first attempt to visit Luna, I ended up eating four pieces. Now do you want to visit Harry or continue to stuff yourselves?" Ginny was positively loving their confusion.
And so, as his thoughts returning to the present, here they were in this creepy forest with man-eating chipmunks and carnivorous flowers. Fred had no idea if his little sister really knew where she was going; as all of the paths looked exactly alike to him. Making it worse was Ginny's running commentary on the fearful plants and animals which surrounded them, which only served to unnerve him further.
At that moment a brown and white rabbit hopped onto the trail in front of them, and after an initial shudder the twins breathed a sigh of relief. It was the first normal thing that they had seen in almost an hour.
Ginny froze in her tracks, a look of real fear evident on her face. "Be very careful here," she said cautiously, as she led them off the trail and around the creature, which was twitching its nose at them menacingly. "He's a meat eater," she added as she pulled her brothers further away from the sinister creature.
Finally they emerged into a wide meadow with a strange mushroom-shaped house in the middle.
"I told you I'd get you here," Ginny said with a sigh of relief.
If I had known how bad that forest was going to be I would have stayed home and eaten pie all day," Fred declared with a shudder.
"But you hate pie," Ginny reminded him.
"I'd have made an exception," Fred answered, glancing back at the dark forest.
"If you can stop discussing your diet we can see if Harry and Luna are here," Ginny declared, following the path that led towards the house.
It turned out that no one was home, but their knocking did result in a strange howling from inside the house; and Fred and George visibly shivered at the mournful sound.
"What is Merlin's name was that," George asked, clearly near the end of his tether.
"Don't worry, that's only Grimmy," Ginny replied casually.
"What's a 'Grimmy?'" Fred asked, unsure if he really wanted to know.
"Luna's pet wolf," Ginny promptly replied, enjoying the looks of fear her brothers wore.
"Luna has a pet wolf?" Fred asked, his eyes positively bugging out of their sockets.
"Yes, and her name is Grimmy, and she's very sweet."
"I think that I want to go home now," George whined.
"Me too," Fred responded, as he cast worried looks in all directions.
"Go ahead, the trail is that way. But I'm waiting here for Harry and Luna," Ginny declared with a mischievous smile.
"Go back into that forest alone? Not on your life; we'll stay here and protect you little sister," Fred responded, looking even more nervous.
"My heroes," Ginny answered sarcastically.
- o -
At that moment two figures emerged into the meadow coming from the direction of Ottery St. Catchpole walking hand-in-hand towards the cottage. Luna had loved seeing her first motion picture and had peppered Harry with a million questions on how the wondrous moving pictures worked. She never ceased to be amazed at how inventive muggles could be, and she marveled at all they could accomplish without the aid of magic. For his part, Harry enjoyed the experience as much as his girlfriend did, and he valiantly tried to answer her sometimes very technical questions. After the film was over the manager let the two teens see the projection room and explained how everything worked. The two finished off their day by having lunch and dessert at Ice Cream Delights, which they now regarded as 'their place.' It had been a perfect second date, and both looked forward to more such outings in the future.
Ginny, Fred and George saw the two friends walking across the meadow, holding hands and laughing, and completely oblivious to everything else. Suddenly they stopped walking and leaned in close together, and it was clear to those watching that they were exchanging a gentle kiss.
"Ah, that's so cute," Ginny said softly.
Fred and George wondered if The Prophet article might just possibly have a grain of truth in it, but Ginny realized that the two were just at the beginning of a relationship, and were still very shy with each other. 'Boys are so thick,' she thought as she glanced at her brothers.
"Sorry Gin-Gin it looks like you've lost him," George said mournfully, completely forgetting that Ginny was their only hope for a safe return to the Burrow.
"Don't call me that!" Ginny declared, bristling like a cat. "I have no interest in Harry that way, and I haven't since my third year."
"Certainly George, don't you know that our Gin-Gin has a new man in her life. I heard her tell Hermione just the other day how 'big and strong' he was," Fred responded, batting his eyelashes and clasping his hands over his heart.
"You don't mean Neville Longbottom?" George responded in an appalled voice.
"The very same, our future brother-in-law," Fred answered with a smirk.
Ginny's eyes narrowed as she whipped her wand out of her robes and aimed it at Fred's nether regions. "One more word and you'll be missing something," Ginny said with real menace in her voice.
Fred crossed his legs defensively and had the decency to look truly afraid. "Not another word Gin-Gi…err, Ginny."
"There had better not be," She said in a warning tone.
By that time Harry and Luna had almost reached the house and saw that they had visitors. The thing that surprised the visitors most was that Harry, who was normally quite shy about girls, didn't release Luna's hand.
"Where have you two been?" Ginny asked, slightly relieving the tension that they were all feeling.
"Luna and I went to see a film in Ottery St. Catchpole," was Harry's prompt reply.
"First date?" George asked with a grin.
"Second, actually," Harry responded unabashedly.
"Having a fun summer, are we Harry?" Fred asked with a smirk.
"Well I don't know about you, but I'm having a great summer," Harry answered honestly.
"Well I'm sorry I have to ruin it, but have you read the Daily Prophet this morning?" Ginny asked, handing over the newspaper
Harry's smile turned into a frown as he and Luna read the article. "How can they print these lies?" Harry asked, his temper rising.
"The Prophet has been printing lies for years," Luna replied honestly.
Harry looked at Luna sadly and he knew that she had been dragged into this mess because of him. It was always to be his destiny to be a target, and she was being attacked simply because the two had gone out on a single date. They had only been together for two days but Harry had never felt so comfortable with anyone in his life.
"Could you guys excuse us for just a minute?" he said gravely, and he led Luna away from the others to where he could have a private word with her.
"This isn't going to be good," Ginny said sadly, as she followed the couple with her eyes. But then she noticed that Luna had her wand behind her back and an old wooden bucket was floating along a few meters behind the pair. "Look…" she declared with glee, as she pointed to the bucket just as it sloshed some water over the rim.
"What's going on?" Fred asked in confusion.
"I think Harry is just about to get Luna's patented remedy for depression," she giggled. "I got it once myself, and I can tell you that it works."
When they were out of sight of the others Harry stopped and focused Luna's eyes onto his own. "This has all happened because of me. If I wasn't who I am they wouldn't be attacking you. If you want to stop seeing me I'll understand," he said in a tone of quiet resignation.
Luna stepped closer to him and looked up into his emerald eyes sadly, and he knew that he was loosing her. "Harry, I just want you to know that this is for your own good, and I only take a moderate amount of pleasure in it." Then she took a step backwards just as the bucket, which was hovering over his head, dumped its contents over the 'boy who lived.'
Harry was so stunned that he fell backwards and landed on his bum, water dripping from his hair and clothing. "What in the hell did you do," he sputtered out in confusion.
"Just a little reality check to get your attention," she replied with a grin. "This is not just about you Harry; it's about both of us. The Prophet attacked you because of who you are, but they also attacked me because of who I am. Ever since you gave the Quibbler that interview about Voldemort it has been steadily gaining market share against the Daily Prophet. They are attacking me to get at my Father, and I intend to fight back. You're a fighter, Harry; that's one of the things that I've always liked about you. Please don't stop fighting now." Luna declared sincerely. And then in a much softer tone she added: "You're the first boy that I've ever liked, and the first boy that has ever liked me. In don't intend to give up on you, and I don't want you to give up on me."
"Alright, but only on the condition that you don't dump any more water on me," Harry said with a grin as he struggled to his feet. But he also recognized the courage in her words, and he was really glad that she wasn't going to give up on him. He thought that the two of them just might have something together; he certainly hoped so.
As they walked back to join the others Harry reached out and took Luna's hand. "That was a rather sneaky trick, you know. So how do you intend for us to fight a newspaper?"
"With another newspaper, of course," Luna replied with a giggle
"What happened to you?" George asked in surprise as a dripping wet Harry Potter approached the group.
"Luna just adjusted my attitude a bit," Harry replied with a smirk.
"Effective isn't it?" Ginny said giggling.
"Oh yes, very effective. Now I think I'll go inside and change into some dry cloths," Harry said, holding his wet tee-shirt out from his body.
"No need for that," Luna declared, and placed a drying charm on the surprised boy.
"Why didn't you do that back there?" he asked, nodding in the direction from which they had come.
"Two reasons, actually," Luna said mischievously. "First I wanted the others to see that there is a price to be paid for depression around here, and second…" she said hesitantly as her cheeks blushed a little pink. "You do have a rather nice chest and it showed up quite well through that wet tee shirt."
"Luna!" Ginny declared in shock.
"Well he has," Luna replied defensively.
Now it was Harry's turn to blush as they all burst out laughing. "You just wait until later," he said in a mock threatening way.
"Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today," Luna replied in a sing-song voice as she smiled shyly at him.
"It's easy to see who's in control here," Fred said sadly.
"Our poor Harry, whipped already," George sighed.
"And so young too," Ginny lamented.
"Tragic, absolutely tragic," Fred lamented.
"Thanks a lot," Harry said sarcastically.
"So what are you going to do about the Prophet," Ginny asked, putting them back on track.
Harry glanced at Luna with a degree of uncertainty, unsure how exactly one would go about fighting a newspaper.
"Harry and I are going to write an article that will be published in the next issue of the Quibbler," Luna responded decisively. "They quite clearly libeled him, and we need to respond immediately. If a lie isn't refuted immediately people think it's the truth," she declared knowingly.
Harry smiled at his friend appreciatively, and realized once again why Luna had been assigned to a house noted for their intelligence. Then Harry had an idea himself.
"We can include that Rita Skeeter in as unregistered animagus. Hermione found out in my fourth year, but she agreed not to inform the authorities if Skeeter didn't write anymore negative stories about us. Well the year is over and I was never bound by that pledge anyway." Harry declared fiercely.
"They are going to be in so much trouble," Luna declared with a grin, delighted to hear this latest bit of startling news.
"I wish we could get Hermione to check the article over for us," Harry said wistfully.
The three Weasleys shared identical grins before George broke the silence. "Well that would mean that you two would have to come over for lunch tomorrow. Hermione is going to spend the rest of the summer with our dear brother."
"Which will mean that Ron will have to observe some level of personal hygiene," Ginny observed with relief.
"And someone else is coming to visit our dear sister," Fred said evilly as he looked at Ginny.
"Oh yes, we can't forget Mr. Neville Longbottom; our little sister would simply pine away without him," George said with a mischievously leer.
"'Ginny Longbottom'; that has a rather nice ring to it, don't you think?" Fred asked no one in particular.
"You two are both dead, do you know that?" Ginny declared as she fought to keep the blush out of her cheeks.
"You wouldn't murder your two favorite brothers, would you sweet sister?" Fred asked coyly.
"Of course she wouldn't, oh brother of mine; our little sister is just too nice for that," George declared.
Seeing her chance to regain the upper hand Ginny replied sweetly. "Of course I wouldn't, but that doesn't mean I won't let the forest do it for me. It should be dark in about an hour, and that's when the really nasty things come out. I'll just leave you to find your own way home."
For the first time a look of real fear crossed the faces of the twins. "Worse than the Carnivorous Calla Lilies?" Fred asked nervously.
"And the Cannibalistic Chipmunks?" George asked.
"And that nasty purple vine with the pink flowers?"
"Oh much worse than any of them," Ginny answered with glee.
"What in the world are you talking about?" Harry asked in confusion, having never heard of any of the strange creatures before.
"Why the plants and animals that live in the forest around this house, of course," Fred answered in fear.
"There's nothing in my forest that would hurt anyone, and that purple vine with the pink flowers that you're afraid of is called a Friendship Vine," Luna declared in a clearly amused tone.
"Well if that is true then why did Ginny…. But she said…." The twins were now completely confused as they looked from Luna to Ginny. And then the truth suddenly hit Fred and George with the force of a stunning spell.
"No Carnivorous Calla lilies? No Cannibalistic Chipmunks?" Fred asked.
"Nope," Luna answered simply. "But if you ever find any I would love to see them," she added with a hopeful giggle.
The twin glared at their baby sister, but there was clearly a degree of pride as well. Ginny threw up her arms in victory as her brothers acknowledged her triumph over the pranksters.
Luna invited the three of them to stay for dinner and suggested that they could use the floo to return home afterwards. The five teens laughed and talked until late that evening, having a wonderful time. Fred and George produced samples of their newest products and demonstrated their effects using each other as test subjects; that was until Harry and Luna decided to join in the fun and tried some of the products themselves. The latest Weasley invention was a Powdered Polyjuice Potion that could transform a person into an animal for a brief period of time, and all five teens took turns experiencing the effects.
The next morning Harry sat at the kitchen table working on the article while Luna did some special "baking" for the twins. Between the two of them they were able to produce a very well written article that they hoped would swing public opinion against the Daily Prophet. Luna's baking project also turned out well, and she hoped it would help the twins to market their new creation.
- o -
The two arrived at the Weasleys' late in the morning and found Ginny setting the table in the garden for an outdoor lunch. Harry and Luna immediately volunteered to help, and went into the kitchen to get dishes and silverware. Fred and George were seated at the kitchen table discussing plans for future chaos and Luna took the opportunity to show them what she had made with their invention. That morning she had baked off a batch of her delicious Chocolate Snorkacks with a dose of Powdered Polyjuice in each, and included hair or feathers from different animals in each cookie. She transfigured packaging for the Snorkacks and named them 'Party Animals.' Luna thought they could be used to liven up parties.
Fred and George thought that it was a brilliant idea, and insisted that Harry and Luna come up to their combination laboratory-bedroom to look at some of their other new inventions. While they were away Ron and Hermione returned from a walk in the woods and settled down at the kitchen table for a cup of tea. Ron absently reached for the package of cookies and began munching on one.
"Mmmmm' try these, Hermione, they're great." And he passed the package across the table to her.
Ron was just reaching for his second cookie when Harry, Luna and the twins reentered the kitchen.
"Ron, don't!" Harry yelled, as he lunged for the table and grabbed the cookies out of his friend's hand.
"What, they're just cookies?" Ron declared looking at his empty hand in annoyance.
"Ron, Luna baked those cookies for the twins. Each contains a dose of Polyjuice powder," Harry answered, no longer able to control his laughter.
A look of absolute horror spread across Ron's face and he grabbed for his throat like he had been poisoned. He glanced over at Hermione looking for sympathy and saw her glaring back at him angrily. Ron's look of horror was quickly replaced by one of shock as he found himself rapidly shrinking until finally there was only a pile of clothing on the bench where Ron had been sitting. Out of the pile hopped a very confused rabbit, with Weasley red hair.
Seconds later the same thing happened to a terrified Hermione, and a cat with thick brown fur emerged from the pile of clothing on her side of the table. The cat arched its back angrily and bristled at the confused rabbit, and then leaped off the bench and chased the frightened creature out the back door.
"I've got to get my camera," Ginny squealed with glee, and ran towards the stairs. Meanwhile Fred and George had fallen to the floor and were laughing so hard that they seemed to be having trouble breathing. Harry and Luna were holding onto one another to keep from falling, and Harry hoped that Ginny could find her camera before the two changed back.
"Maybe we should go after them," Luna suggested, a slight look of concern on her face.
"Why?" George asked, regaining some control.
"Well you said the potion wears off after fifteen minutes." Luna explained dreamily.
"So?"
"Well their clothes are here and they are out there…" Luna said as she began to blush a bit.
The three boys thought about what Luna said for a moment, and then they all burst out laughing. At that moment Ginny entered the kitchen with her camera. "What did I miss?" She asked suspiciously.
"We have to go get your brother before he and Hermione flash each other," George declared with glee as he pointed at the two piles of clothes.
"We want pictures, Gin-Gin. Lots and lots of pictures," Fred declared as the laughing teens ran out into the garden.
As they approached the picnic table they saw Hermione the cat had backed Ron the rabbit into a corner, and was hissing at him angrily. Ron, for his part, was trembling with fear and looking for an avenue of escape. Ginny rushed forward gleefully and started to snap one picture after another.
"You take Hermione up to Ginny's room and we'll take care of our dear brother," George said with sincerity that Harry found rather troubling.
Luna scooped up the angry brown cat and carried her into the house as Fred and George exchanged whispers. "Harry, if you'll take Hermione's clothes up to Ginny's room we'll take Ron up to his," Fred said as he made to pick up the confused rabbit. Harry could read between the lines, and he departed for the kitchen without looking back.
A few minutes later a furious Hermione came stomping down the stairs and entered the kitchen, her face red with embarrassment and anger. "Where is that idiot," she demanded in a tone that made it clear that Ron was in for trouble.
At that moment they heard a familiar voice yelling for help from the garden. Rushing out the back door the teens saw the twins standing smugly in front of an old rabbit hutch that stood against the garden shed. Through the wire they could see Ron Weasley on his hands and knees, stark naked, screaming threats at his two grinning brothers.
Ginny screamed with glee and rushed forward with her camera, determined not to miss the rare opportunity.
"Ginny, stay away! Can't you see I'm naked," Ron screamed in panic as she approached the hutch.
"Oh yah, like I haven't seen that before," she declared with a smirk. "But these pictures should be worth quite a bit if money. I'm sure the girls in Gryffindor will pay plenty for them," she said with an evil leer as she continued to snap pictures.
"You wouldn't dare!" Ron declared in panic
All of the anger instantly disappeared from Hermione's face as she watched Ron try to hide in the back corner of the hutch while shouting about the terrible things he would do when he got his clothes back.
"And who says we're going to give them back?" Fred asked in a perplexed tone.
"That's right Ron, you really have us scared. We better let Mum return your clothes. We would be too scared," George said with a grin.
"No!" Ron screamed as his face turned to the color of ash.
After a little more teasing Harry took Ron's clothes down to the hutch and shooed Ginny away. Soon everyone was settled in the living room of the Burrow as Hermione proof-read the article that would appear in The Quibbler the next day. After some adjustments to spelling and grammar she pronounced that it was ready for release. The one major change that she did make was the article's title, which she said lacked the 'punch' necessary to grab the public's attention. Harry and the others agreed that the new title was certainly sensational, but Hermione's explanation of its historical importance was completely lost on them:
I ACCUSE
'I accuse the Daily Prophet of printing lies in order to deceive the public and increase their own circulation. Luna Lovegood and I only started dating a week ago and we have certainly never discussed anything as important as marriage. Rita Skeeter deliberately twisted the truth in order to make a sensational headline while attacking me and Miss Lovegood, who is the daughter of their major competitor.
The 'reliable source' to which she refers is Draco Malfoy, the son of Lucius Malfoy who is a known Death-Eater and an avowed supporter of Voldemort. It is not surprising that Ms. Skeeter would employ such a source, as she herself chooses to violate the law. She is and has been an unregistered animagus. During the Tri-Wizard Competition at Hogwarts Ms. Skeeter used her insect form to eavesdrop on the contestants and print their personal conversations.
I consider the article by the Daily Prophet to be nothing less than libel, and unless a full retraction is published within twenty-four hours I will file a lawsuit against the newspaper and Rita Skeeter.
Harry Potter
- o -
The article was published the next day in the Quibbler, with the name 'Voldemort' omitted in favor of 'He-who-must-not-be-named' to protect reader sensibilities; and it caused a major sensation in wizarding Britain. Since the confirmed return of the Dark Lord just two months previously, Harry Potter had once again become a national hero. For any publication to take cheap shots at him simply to boost circulation was regarded by the public as an outrage. Demands were made both inside and out of the Ministry for an investigation of The Daily Prophet and its methods of reporting the news. Circulation dropped dramatically as over a hundred wizarding families showed their displeasure by immediately canceling their subscriptions.
It was clear that the Prophet was in serious trouble, and it responded with an immediate retraction and a front-page apology to Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood and the rest of the wizarding world. The blame for the article was laid at the door of Rita Skeeter and one of the paper's senior editors, both of whom were immediately fired. The next day the publisher of the Prophet offered to publicly meet with Harry Potter to personally offer his apology. It appeared that the teens had achieved a complete victory, but as is often the case looks can be deceiving.
