Two things I discovered recently, one is that I really suck at time management. The second is that I've been thinking about this chapter a lot and I've decided just to do it the way I want to; aka lots of flashbacks and drama and rain.

Italicized = Flashbacks in case you haven't got that yet. These particular flashbacks come from where we last left off.

"In a Heartbeat"

Her fingers gripped the tight black leather beneath her, scrapping her finger nail against it as she struggled to hold onto something. She needed something to hold her down, keep her sane. The clock's rhythmic ticking only intensified the silence between them.

Booth let out a long sigh, breaking the silence that had filled the car since they had left the police station. He looked over at her again and noticed grimly that she hadn't moved at all.

All Booth wanted was for this nightmare to end, and now with the bastard finally behind bars Booth thought that he'd finally have her back.

Because that's how Brennan was, she could be thrown down and even kicked down again but she sure as hell got back up. After even the most stressful case, Brenan could always pull herself back together like it hadn't affected her one bit.

The woman who sat beside him was nervous and scared still, as if she were the same teenager she was when she first met McCoy.

Dr. Temperance Brennan was nowhere to be found, Booth's partner was nowhere to found, and he was starting to wonder if she would ever be back.

"Dr. Brennan this is our ninth session" The words were eerie in the once silent room.

Though the sudden noise had startled her, she gave no indication of it as she stared at Sweets blankly "Yes I am aware of that"

"And in the past eight sessions you have refused to say anything"

She could've laughed out loud at this. For the past eight sessions she had heard Sweets' analysis of everything from why she withheld her past from everyone in the first place, to why she had practically thrown herself in jail. What more was there to explain? "That's quite unfair to say considering that I have answered a great deal of your questions"

Sweets sighed and threw his notebook to the side. It was looking like this session would be no different.

"Yes you did, but you answered most of my questions by saying you'd rather not talk about it"

"What do you want me to say?" She asked coldly.

"Nothing, I don't want you to say anything" Sweets said leaning back

"I don't understand you just said..."

"I know what I just said. I don't want you to say anything. Because whatever you say will be coming from behind a wall. I want you to let down that wall and feel something. Get angry and throw something or get sad and breakdown, just feel something"

Brennan stared at him with a defiant glare etched on her face. This was why she hated psychology. Every one of them wanted you to talk about your feelings so that you could really feel them. Put it out there so you can understand it and deal with it and move on.

The problem was that she felt it every day, the inescapable drowning feeling that nagged at her continuously.

Sweets had lost once again in this game they were playing.

Slowly she leaned back against the couch, letting go of the fine leather to fold her hands on her lap as silence once again filled the room.

"Bones" he whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the hum of the engine.

"Temperance please just say something, anything" hearing her voice would be enough. Hearing her voice would be a start on the road back to where they had come from.

"Don't call me that" she responded softly.

For a moment Booth was confused, she hadn't asked him not to call her Bones since the first few months of their partnership.

"I can't call you Bones?"

"No that's not..." she paused staring down where her hands were clenched in her lap."People only call me Temperance when they want something and right now Booth I have nothing to give you"

Her admission was so sudden and honest that Booth never saw it coming. He never expected her to be this open with him.

"The only thing I want from you Bones is you"

She let out a small chuckle "I'm not even sure I can give you that"

Brennan visibly jumped as Sweet's voice interrupted her thoughts. She silently scolded herself before replying.

"Dr. Brennan you need to start talking to me if you want me to clear you for work again"

And that was true. After Cullen had suspended her from field work until she had had a mental evaluation, Cam had also suspended her for working thirty-six hours straight.

Sweets hated resorting to blackmail with her but he was beginning to see that there might not be another way besides a complete breakdown.

"Okay... I'm talking see? I'm here and I'm talking"

"That's something Booth would say Dr. Brennan"

Instantly Sweets knew it was a mistake mentioning Booth's name. Brennan crossed her arms in front of her defiantly and stared back out the small office window. The session was as good as over.

Booth and Brennan sat next to each other on his couch only inches away from each other, just as they had so many times before in the past. She could feel his discomfort in the air, though it was impossible.

She knew he would ask questions, she knew him well enough that she expected him to ask whatever it is he didn't already know, but silently she was begging him not to.

Dr. Temperance Brennan told her to tell him everything before he could ask and get it over with. He, after all, was her partner and the lead agent on the case so rationally she should give him whatever information he needed to put that bastard behind bars.

However nothing about this whole situation was rational or at least that was what Temperance Brennan the broken and scared woman was telling her. From the moment she had taken the pin off of Michelle Alexander's cold body, till now she had only thought with her heart as Booth had told her to do so often and it almost killed them all.

Every time she opened up her heart and let her guard down people left or worse, died. No one could possibly love her, even Booth who had told her hundreds of times that he did.

It was about time that she became Dr. Temperance Brennan again. The fearless forensic anthropologist who visited grave sites with guns pointed at the back of her head and didn't do anything that wasn't completely rational.

Turning she was startled to find that Booth had been quietly watching her gather her thoughts. She could tell that he was trying to determine whether or not she was going to fight him or just give up. She sucked in air, feeling it travel painfully down her throat into her lungs before standing slowly in front of him.

"Booth I..."

Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of the picture of them both together, the one that was slightly different from the one in her apartment. It stopped whatever else she was going to say. Suddenly she wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to be the same rational person anymore.

She finally glanced at him fully and realized how tired he looked. His normally shaven face was covered in tiny hairs in what would be a five o'clock shadow only it was well past five. His shoulders were slouched almost as if they were being weighed down by heavy books. And as he met her eyes she couldn't help but feel like he was pleading with her not to say the words he could already feel coming.

All of a sudden he stood up from the couch so fast that Brennan subconsciously took a step back. He moved closer to fill the space and grabbed her waist.

She gasped at the sudden contact that she had been denying herself these last few weeks. His hands on her instantly sent sparks up and down her. She couldn't help but lay her own hand, the one without the cast, on his chest. Though whether it was to push him away or pull him closer she didn't know.

Slowly he leaned in to kiss her, never taking his eyes off of hers. He waited to see if she would pull away and when she didn't he finally pressed his lips against hers passionately. To his surprise, she responded to the kiss with just as much intensity, but it was short lived.

After a few seconds she pulled away, tears already running down her cheek.

Booth and most of the squints were already on a new case. They probably all would've skipped it, but they had been asked by one of the benefactors of the Jeffersonian to take it. His daughter had been kidnapped and he wanted only the best to find her.

Booth was supposed to be going undercover on this case soon, a fact that left him upset and slightly irritated.

In fact they all felt that way. Their hearts just weren't in it. They were still recovering from what had happened in the warehouse and with Dr. Brennan.

Now they were all waiting for Sweet's call in the lounge. Today they hoped, would be the day Dr. Brennan would come back to work so things could finally go back to normal.

"Booth I'm sorry, this is a mistake"

He still held her tightly, afraid that if he let go she would run straight out the door.

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes looked from the wall to the floor, anywhere but him.

"I can't do this, I can't..." she stopped but the words 'lose you' echoed through her mind.

"Do what Bones?" he challenged angrily.

"I can't... be with you" the words surprised her as much as they did him.

"I'm sorry Booth but I just can't do it"

His voice shook as he responded through clenched teeth "why not?"

She finally looked at him fearfully. "I just can't, I'm sorry"

Booth wasn't backing down though not without a real answer from her.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why"

"Booth..."

Suddenly he let go of her, the absence of his hands leaving her cold and vulnerable.

"No Bones, I'm not going to let you do this. I'm not going to let you run from this without a fight. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

It was such an easy question that her answer came out immediately "No of course not"

"Have I ever walked away from you, have I ever given up on you?"

Brennan swallowed, tears threatening to fall "have you?"

For a moment he forgot about his anger seeing the desperate look on her face. She was so lost, he could see it in her eyes.

"No Bones I have not, and I never will, no matter how hard you try and push me away"

Booth watched as she ducked her head trying to hide just how much those words affected her, but Booth could see it anyway.

"I told you I loved you, knowing that you had the power to break me if you wanted to, because right now Bones you have my whole heart. And I'm giving you the choice of keeping it or breaking it. The ball's in your court now"

She didn't say anything, she just looked up at him sadly, and he knew what was about to happen.

"I'm sorry Booth" she said. A single tear fell from her bright blue eye and made its way down her cheek. "I'm sorry that I put you through all this. I'm sorry I put your life in danger. I'm sorry I kissed you"

"No you're not"

"Yes I am, because it wasn't rational. You are my partner. I can't... and love isn't rational. Loving you isn't rational. It's crazy, and I can't do this"

He could see her backing slowly towards the door.

"Bones please just stop. I know you're afraid, I know okay, but you can't keep running"

"You said this was my choice, you said that 'the ball was in my court' so I'm letting you go. You deserve someone better, someone who can let go enough to love you like you love them. I'm not ready for that. I don't think I ever will be, no matter how much I trust you"

"I want you Bones, I love you and I know you love me too"

Her hand was now on the door knob, it was now or never.

"You can't love me Booth; you don't even know me... I don't even know me, not anymore"

Their gazes locked.

"You say that I don't know you, but I do. I may not know everything you went through when you were younger, but I know that you don't want to do this, I can see it in your eyes. Bones if you stay we can fix this, we can work through this. All you have to do is let me in. All you have to do is let me love you"

Booth was breathing heavily. In all their years of partnership he had never been as scared as he was now. What would happen if she left now? Would he ever see her again? Could he truly live without her? Because right now she had that look in her eye, the one that told him she was going to do something completely irrational like jumping a plane to some foreign country.

"Bones if you walk out that door..." He stopped, holding her still with one arm behind her back, the other cupping her face.

She stared back just as frightened at him, wondering what he would do.

"If you walk out now, after everything we've been through, I'm not going to run after you. If this is what you really want, then go, but know that I'm not going to be here when you get back because... I don't think I can take you running from me for one more minute"

His words came as a shock to her. They were words she never thought she would hear him say in a million lifetimes.

Booth began again noticing the way she looked at him panicked.

"I'm in love with you Bones, can't you see that? I'm not leaving so why are you?"

She pulled away from him desperate for air. She started making her way to his front door.

"I'm sorry" she whispered before opening the door and taking the step that would keep her from him. She lost him in that moment; in a single heartbeat she lost him.

There was no going back now, he said so himself. Brennan's next few steps were hesitant, hoping that he would change his mind and call her name. If he had just called for her she would've went running back to him, but he didn't.

"Goodbye Booth" she said under her breath before taking off into a run, or as much of a run as she could with a sprained ankle. She made her way down the stairs and outside onto the street. She kept moving through the streets without a thought to where she was going to go.

Her ankle throbbed ever more painfully with each step, but it was nothing compared to the pain in her chest. She hadn't even realized it was raining, the drops mixing with the tears falling from her face.

Two weeks ago she had come back and gone straight to limbo, were she had stayed for a day and a half without eating or sleeping. Angela had gone in to try and talked to her and they had gotten into a huge fight. Cam had had to suspend her just to get her out of there so she would sleep and eat.

Booth hadn't spoken much since then. He looked like he'd barely been sleeping or eating as well.

The second that she had left, he had stood there just staring at the door. It was all he could do from running after her.

After a while he had sat down on the couch that they had just been sitting on only moments before, and put his head in his hands.

He struggled to keep his tears in check. She was gone and there was nothing he could do now but follow her, and he didn't have the strength or the will to do it this time.

The stress on the team was what was taking them so long to move on this case and if they didn't pick it up soon there would be a dead girl on their hands and a very angry big wig to deal with.

The phone rang and they looked at each other, wondering who would pick it up. Cam finally did.

"Please tell me you cleared the good doctor"

Her hopeful look faded into one of defeat.

"You didn't"

Her head ducked in frustration.

"Okay I'll tell them"

She hung up the phone and shook her head no. "Sweets said that she's still not ready. We'll just have to keep working and hopefully she'll be back soon"

Booth stood up instantly and walked off. He had been camping out in Brennan's office for the last few weeks, using it as an excuse not to go home. He argued he had work to do that he could do there, but Cam knew the real reason behind it. He missed Dr. Brennan; everyone could see it on his face that his heart had broken.

Cam thought about having Cullen suspend Booth too but they were already short two people since Angela had refused to come in and work until Brennan came back.

At this point they couldn't afford to lose anyone else, the team worked best together as a family and when one of them was down they almost couldn't function.

Cam could feel it, the team starting to break down. There seemed to be a change happening beneath them that they couldn't stop.

The center was not holding and the ends were starting to crumble.

Brennan made it to the bottom floor of his apartment building before collapsing against the wall in the stairway.

The lights started to dim in the stairwell and Brennan stood up slowly, careful not to hurt her ankle. She pushed open the door into the dark night.

The rain had stopped and the clouds had cleared, letting the stars come out in full force.

A cab pulled over to where she was standing and she got in. As it started to pull away she looked out the back window, hoping that she might see him running out after her, but the farther the cab got from the apartment the more she realized he wasn't coming.

He wasn't coming after her.

She wasn't running back.

And in that moment, a single heart beat, it was over. The single inevitable ending she knew would come, finally had.

Very Important: I know a lot of people have been writing about the season finale, but just so we're clear the only part that was influenced by the finale was the last flashback. The Brennan and Sweets therapy session was something that I've wanted to do since the beginning of this story, and there's a few other things in future chapters that seem similar to the finale but they've already been written for months.

Review! Good or bad I'm all ears; I've been around the block a few times.