DISCLAIMER: Bla bla bla, I don't own Glee, Ryan Murphy and FOX do. It'd be cool if I did though. ;)
Duh duh duh duhhhHHH! Here's chapter six!
This one took a while to write. It's really angsty, but I hope it's not overly so. I don't think it is. :P
Don't forget to review. :)
CHAPTER SIX
Rachel feels silly. She knows Finn and her look like elementary school school kids, with the way they're tangled up underneath the jungle gym. But she doesn't care. Even if the wood chips are starting to make their way inside of her clothes.
There's hardly any space under here for her, so she can't begin to comprehend how Finn fits. But he does. And he's placing soft kisses up and down her neck when she sees light-up Star Wars shoes next to her. Her eyes follow up, and she realizes the shoes belong to a little kid, probably seven or eight years old. The boy is staring at them, with eyes bigger than an owl. Rachel murmurs Finn's name and he looks up also, to see why. He sighs and they awkwardly pull apart from each other, and sit up. Finn hit's his head on the bottom of the wooden playground and that's when she bursts into laughter. He looks annoyed, but he's grinning too.
"Come on, Finn. Let's go before his mother sees what we're doing," she whispers to him.
"Aw, fine", he moans.
They do a half-scoot, half-crouching walk stance to get out from underneath the wooden contraption, and Rachel skips to the swing set, with Finn's hand in hers. They settle into adjacent swings. Even though the swings are far apart, Finn's longs arms make up for the distance, so they are still able to hold hands.
She sees that the playground is filled with children and parents now. Rachel has a fleeting thought about her future with Finn, how they could get married and have children. And how if they had a boy he would be tall and lanky and handsome, and if they had a girl she would be amazingly talented and beautiful. Pictures of a baby room and a fireplace and picnics flash through her mind. But she forces the thoughts away. She knows they would freak Finn out and maybe push him away if she told him about them. So she refocuses on the real world.
"Finn, what do you want to do when you grow up?"
She notices that he looks away from her and stares at he ground. "Um, I don't know. As long as I get out of this place." Being a small town loser was always a problem with him. She could understand why; she couldn't imagine having to carry that burden, because she always knew she was going to be a star. Rachel Barbara Berry was going to have her name in lights in the streets of the Great White Way, and she would have a family and a house that she could call home, and someone to love her.
And it blurts out. "Finn would you follow me to New York?" She doesn't know why she said it. There was so much time before she even had to think of any of that, and she was already pushing it.
But she's comforted my his answer.
He hesitates at first, but then says "Of course Rach." He cups her face in his hands. "I wouldn't forgive myself if you became a big star and I wasn't there to say I knew you, while I was stuck in this piece of shit town."
She relieves the breath she was holding in.
"But I can't pretend that moving wouldn't be hard. We would have to leave all of our family and friends, and McKinley." She would only expect that. "Let's hope I don't get a scholarship to OSU", he says offhandedly.
She leans over to kiss him, and he smiles into her lips.
But then his face turns dark. "Rachel, um, I need to tell you something. But you have to promise to not freak out or anything." He never says her full name. Ever. She starts to worry.
"I promise, Finn. You can tell me anything; you know that."
Finn nods. His eyes are squinted shut and a tear starts rolling down his freckled cheek. "That night, you know that Friday when I had that date with Santana and you had a date with Jesse?" Her eyes straighten. She knows she lied to him and she still feels absolutely awful for it. "You know how I said that nothing happened with her? That I couldn't go through with it?" He's full on crying now, tears bursting through the slits between his eyelids. " I lied."
And she's spinning. Her vision is getting blurry. Is he serious? He had sex with Santana? The girl that never said no? She doesn't know how to respond, she can't respond; her throat is closing.
"But it didn't mean anything, I swear! I was just jealous of you, and Jesse, and I was pissed at the world, and I... I'm just so sorry Rachel. And I know I can't be your first but I wanted you to be mine and now you can't and I'm just so sorry." His arms are folded in his lap, and his head is lowered on top of them.
Then she realizes. He's not the one at fault here. It was her fault, she was doing the same thing and she lied to him too and she can't believe she ever thought that she would act spiteful toward him and she has to make it all right; bring everything out in the open. So she focuses her vision on Finn.
She forces his head out of his hands. "Look at me." He does. "It isn't your fault." She inhales sharply. "I lied to you, too. I didn't have sex with Jesse. I couldn't do it."
"That just makes me feel worse!… I am so sorry Rachel!" He's crying again.
"No, Finn. I'm sorry." She steadies herself, stands up then bends on her knees in front of him. "You said it didn't mean anything to you, right? So why don't we pretend like it never happened? And when we are ready we can both be each other's firsts." He falls to the ground, nearly on top of her, and hugs her. She wonders if the families at the playground are staring at them, but she doesn't care. Only her and him exist right now.
"I, I love you so much Rachel. You are so great and forgiving and I just love you so much," he chokes on the last words. "I'll never lie to you again, I swear." He's nearly shouting.
She quiets him. "Shh, shh. It's okay. From now on, no more lies. We tell each other everything, even the bad things. Agreed?"
GLEE
"Agreed?" she asks him. He nods "yes" furiously. He finally told her the thing that he's been holding inside for so long. The thing that caused him so much pain. And she didn't even care. She was so understanding and amazing and beautiful and he loved her so much.
He's making a spectacle of himself, and he knows it. So he rises to his feet and holds out his hand to help Rachel up. He has to steady himself for a second. His vision is still blurry, he uses the sleeve of shirt to wipe his eyes.
They start walking in the direction of his house, holding hands. They don't talk to each other the whole way back, but he knows the silence is an understanding. They are wiping the slate clean, and starting over not only with each other, but for each other.
I hope y'all liked it. :) Tell me what you thought in the review box. :)
The more comments I get, the more enthusiastic I am to write the next chapter. :)
I know it was overdramatic, but I think it needed to be. :)
Don't forget to go read sammyuzzelle's story, 'A Summer for Puck & Quinn'. It's great. :)
Chapter 7 soon. :)
Hasta luego,
cappievonbuettner
