A short one, but an update none the less! Kind of a transition chapter I guess.
Edited and re-posted 2/10/2012
~~~Chapter 5
"Ryo, get in the damn car! You really don't need to be out in the rain," Cye argued with a stubborn Ryo. Well, argue wasn't really the word, Ryo would have to reply for it to be considered arguing, Ryo had done very well to keep his opinions to himself thus far. Ryo had simply ignored his friend's pleas, his eyes glued to the road before him as White Blaze ran.
"Oh fine, be that way!" Cye called out in frustration, finally giving up. He rolled his window up and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "I still don't get it. He knows he's only going to make himself sick staying out in that rain. He wasn't exactly in prime condition before staying in the rain this time. Why does he have to be so stubborn all of the time?"
"If he wasn't, he wouldn't be Ryo," Rowen pointed out.
"He wants to stay awake," Sage said quietly from the front passenger's seat. He felt his friends watching him, but kept his focus out the window and on Ryo, trying to read him better before explaining.
"Uh… Sage?" Rowen started, urging Sage to continue. He was trying his best to keep his focus on driving and finding it difficult to stay truly focused at this point. His own thoughts kept running back to Ryo and their current situation.
"I'm still trying to read him. His mind is a jumbled mess right now, partially from that concussion, he can't focus. The only thought I can make out is that he wants to- no, needs to stay awake until we get to Mia's."
"That's it?" Kento asked incredulously.
"Yeah," Sage sighed, watching Ryo. He had agreed with Cye, even though he hadn't voiced his opinion. Ryo was only making it worse for himself by riding the tiger in the pouring rain. He could already see that Ryo had grown pale… Much paler than he'd originally thought possible, and was shivering visibly; this only added to his concerns for Ryo. They still had roughly another hour ahead of them before they'd reach Mia's house. Sage was beginning to wonder if Ryo was going to make it that far without falling off White Blaze in exhaustion.
"You're not getting anything else from him?" Kento persisted. "He was so angry earlier, you're not even picking up on that anymore? Relief that he's gotten away from those things? Weariness? Anything?"
"Nothing. I can't even tell if he truly feels the cold. I'm just assuming from the amount of shivering that he's cold," Sage replied, somewhat exasperated because he knew Kento was right. He should be able to pick up on more than that, but he couldn't. It was almost as though Ryo himself were blocking him. As far as Sage knew, Ryo couldn't do that, didn't know how.
"Any ideas on what happened to him since we saw him last?" Rowen finally asked, speaking up once again. He cast a quick glance at his friends, then out the window at their very stubborn leader.
"I'm not sure…" Cye started, then stopped to think for a moment. He watched Ryo again, trying to pinpoint something. "He seems different somehow, I just can't place what's different."
"I know what you mean," Kento spoke, rubbing his hands against his face. "He was definitely different when I found him near the caves."
"How so?" Sage inquired, turning in his seat to face Kento. Rowen watched as best he could through the rear view while Cye turned as well.
"He wasn't really paying attention to anything at first, I snuck up on him and all I did was walk right up to him. He was quick to give in too, now that I think about it. Before he knew it was me, he pretty much said he'd come quietly if I didn't attack him. After he knew it was me and I asked if he was alright…" he paused momentarily, "It didn't take much for him to rattle off his injuries either," Kento practically whispered.
"Seriously?" Rowen questioned in disbelief, his eyes bulging. Kento only nodded his reply this time. "Damn. That's not like Ryo. We have to find out what happened to him."
Sage's gaze went back out the window, settling on Ryo once more. He could have sworn that he'd felt something from Ryo just a moment ago, but for the life of him, he couldn't place what it was.
"So, I take it Raye is following us to Mia's?" Cye asked quietly. Rowen nodded silently, thinking about what Kento had told them. Something just didn't make sense and that bothered him.
Sage noticed that the car had grown silent, which was probably best, in his opinion anyway. Let them think on what could be upsetting Ryo, it gave him the focus he needed to try reading Ryo once more. So that's what he set about doing, trying to learn more on what happened to Ryo by probing his mind through the link. It took a while, and much more concentration than he'd ever had to use before, but it seemed to be working. He'd get just glimpses of emotion and shadows of thoughts from Ryo, none of them staying long enough for him to make any sense of them. It wasn't until Ryo had finally turned to face Sage that Sage gasped in surprise. Ryo had made direct eye contact for a moment before looking ahead at the road once more, one single thought made it through to Sage during that moment. They're still here, they haven't left yet. Why?
"What is it Sage?" Sage heard Kento ask. He was vaguely aware of someone shaking his shoulder. "Sage, snap out of it!"
"Sorry," he mumbled. "He surprised me."
"How?" Rowen questioned, raising an eyebrow. You couldn't surprise Sage, you just couldn't.
"He was surprised that we were here," Sage whispered.
"He… Wait, what?" Cye asked, his confusion obvious.
"What, he wants us to leave him alone? Or he thought we would? Or…" Rowen started.
"I'm not sure," Sage replied, eyes glued to Ryo, trying to pick up that train of thought that had startled him so. "I'm not entirely sure it was a conscious thought, it wasn't angry… Just surprised, if not curious."
They're still here, they haven't left yet. Why? Ryo thought to himself in pure wonder as he locked gazes with Sage. He felt Sage's surprise and immediately looked away. He hadn't expected them to stay as long as they did, so seeing them still next to him had surprised him. He thought it'd be comforting to seem them there still, but it wasn't. It just left a dull ache in his chest, one that he'd thought had finally faded. Maybe moving back had been a mistake, he wasn't sure he was ready to face his past, but he'd promised Mia he'd come back, even if only for a little while. He owed her that much after everything she'd done for them, for him.
He wanted to run more than anything. Wanted to outrun the memories that were quickly gaining on him. He didn't think he could face the things that'd happened without his friends. Yes, they may be here now, but he knew it wouldn't last for very long. If they were still with him by the time he made it to Mia's he'd really be surprised, but he'd blame it on exhaustion, and nothing more. He wanted to say he'd gotten used to them not being there, used to not hearing from them, but he knew it'd be a lie. He didn't think he'd ever get used to it, and he didn't want to. He didn't have a choice. He could still talk with Mia, much like he had been doing over the last three years while he was living in America. He'd told her about the things he'd seen, the things that he thought the guys would have liked, but that was the closest he'd come to talking about the guys before changing the subject or dropping the conversation completely. It had hurt too much to talk about them, especially to Mia. Then he'd mentioned Ameena. That was part of why Ryo had agreed to come back, Mia wanted to meet Ameena. He'd felt like Mia was the only thing he had left, aside from White Blaze and Ameena, so he'd agreed to Mia's request. This would be his first time seeing her in three years. First time talking to her in person in three years and she'd be helping him heal, demanding that he rest. He cursed himself at that thought. This wasn't why he came back, not so she could patch up his hurt like she used to. She'd be doing that anyway, whether he liked it or not. She'd make him talk about the guys some way or another. She had to know what had happened by now.
He had half a mind then and there to go to his apartment instead of Mia's. He wouldn't do it though. They weren't that far from her house anymore, his apartment… Well, it wasn't exactly near her place. Not much longer and he could sleep for as long as he needed, Mia would see to that. She wouldn't pester him by checking on him every couple hours as Cye and Kento would have, or insist that he should take some medicine and read something to get his mind on other things as Rowen would have suggested. She wouldn't try getting him to meditate to help him focus on getting better as Sage would have done, she would leave him to his own devices and wait until he asked for something. The thought made Ryo's chest ache again. He wanted the guys there, no matter how much they'd bugged him when he was sick or injured in the past. He, once again, wanted something he couldn't have, and it was no one's fault but his own. That thought alone almost broke him. He hadn't been good enough.
He chocked back a sob now, cursing himself silently once more. This was why he hadn't returned sooner, the memories were too much for him to deal with alone. Ever since that day… He was a mess now and he knew it. He didn't know what else to do though. It shouldn't have gotten as hard as it did, he used to be on his own, before the guys. Why was it so damn hard to go it alone now?
"Because you got used to having company," Ryo muttered aloud. "You got used to having someone to talk to, even when you didn't want to talk. Damn them for leaving me alone. And damn me for not stopping them…" he whispered, trying to fight the tears that were, now more than ever, determined to fall.
Sage had just given up for now, and sat back in his seat, closing his eyes. He'd try talking with Ryo later, see if maybe he could find out just what was going on. The whole situation had him on edge, and he couldn't pinpoint why. None of Ryo's actions made any sense either. One minute he'd talk to them, the next he's ignoring them, like they weren't there. Maybe they deserved some of that, they did abandon him after all… But Ryo didn't ignore people, he couldn't. He'd always felt guilty anytime he'd treated someone badly, even if they had deserved it. It just went against his nature. So why the change now? Did it have something to do with what happened to him over the past three years? Sage found himself praying that it would only be temporary, that once they got to really talk to Ryo, everything would be explained and everything would be okay again. Somehow, deep down he knew it wasn't going to be that easy, not this time. This wouldn't be something that every one could brush off and pretend it had never happened, that much was apparent just by looking at Ryo.
He tried, he really did, but he just couldn't get himself to calm down, couldn't relax. Sage opened his eyes and rested them upon Ryo's form once more. The rain was coming down in heavy sheets now and he could barely see Ryo and White Blaze next to them. If he wasn't mistaken, Ryo was now leaning forward, almost laying on the tiger's back.
"He's not going to last much longer in this," Sage said, not realizing he'd spoken aloud.
Rowen jumped slightly at Sage's comment, having thought Sage was meditating. He quickly glanced out Sage's window to get a good look at Ryo before responding. Once he spotted Ryo, he knew Sage was right. "I guess it's a good thing we're only a few miles out now. We should probably call Mia and let her know we're coming."
"I've already tried, the phone lines are down. This storm probably knocked them out," Cye replied, holding up a cell phone. "I just hope she still has power, if not it's going to be fun trying to get Ryo warmed up and dried off without a fight."
"There's still the fireplace," Kento reminded him.
"No there's not," Cye answered, sounding slightly annoyed.
Before Kento could argue, Sage spoke up. "He's right. The fireplace won't do any good without some firewood."
"What are you going on about?" Kento demanded, leaning forward in his seat. "There's plenty of firewood!"
"Yes, there is… Sitting outside in the pouring rain next to the back porch because someone got distracted and didn't bring it in. Can you light wet wood Kento?" Sage asked, closing his eyes once more.
"I… well damn," he replied with a sigh. He scratched the back of his head and gave Rowen a lopsided grin. Rowen simply shook his head and turned his attention back to the road. Kento eventually sank back into his seat and thought back on earlier. The guys were right, a lot of things just didn't add up now that he really thought on it. Like Ryo's reaction earlier, he'd appeared more shocked at seeing Kento than anything. He didn't really look happy or relieved, just shocked. Why? Ryo had lost a shit load of weight and his eyes looked dull, he had been very distant. Why? Ryo didn't explain much of anything, now that he thought about what was said. He'd said enough to answer the questions asked, but not to explain them. Why? That same damn 'why' kept coming up and Kento didn't have an answer. He could only hope that with some food and after some rest, Ryo would enlighten them, answer the 'why's' they all had. Till then, all he could do was ask himself the same questions over and over, hoping to find some answers in the silence.
I told you it was a short one, but it was needed for the story to continue the way I want it to. Anyone have any ideas on what's going on in my twisted little world? lol. Like I said, the last chapter 'hinted' at the new twist I was throwing in. If you've caught on to my wave length, then this chapter will make a lot more sense to you than to every one else. As always, please review! Till next time!
