Hey all! Again, 'm supppper sorry for the long delay in updating! I blame it all on my estranged beta reader! :P Nah, she did her best to get it to me ASAP so I put it up as soon as I got it! Chapter 8 & 9 are already written so look for them soon! This chapter is mostly MJ/P fluff and working on building more around them. I promise the action 'll pick up again ch.9! So enjoy the fluff for now and be on the look out for more story soon! Thanks for your patience, I hope this chapter makes it worth the wait! )


Chapter 7: A Sense of Normalcy

I don't know when we fell apart
The love that we had was like a work of art
I used to see Heaven in your eyes
The angels have fallen from your skies
Things we said were so wrong
And I haven't held you for so long
My foolish pride turns me inside
Why did we tell all those lies?
You can reach for the phone
You don't have to be alone

Outside the winter seems so cold
Your heart is frozen like the snow
And there's no one home to keep you safe and warm
Your eyes are red because you've cried
You fell asleep by the fireside
But there's one thing you should know
On this Christmas baby
You don't have to be alone…

And I had only one wish on my list, oh
For me you would be the perfect gift, oh yeah
There's nothing colder than an empty home, oh no (empty home)
And holidays were never meant to be alone, oh (to be alone)
The smiles we gave when our hearts were safe
By each other's love and warmth
That's subsided now with happiness around
If I can only find the way to your heart


"How's it going over there?" Peter asked from across the apartment. He was untangling strands of Christmas lights and garland by the kitchen counter while MJ attempted to set up the tree by the balcony windows, near the TV and chairs.

"Ugh!!" she snarled in response, unable to articulate a coherent response.

"That bad, huh?" he quipped, wishing his spider powers could undo the knots Uncle Ben and Aunt May had created in the strands of multicolored lights. *Guess super powers can't solve everything.*

"And this is why next year you'll get a real tree, Mr. Parker. Not one of these 'build your own' Christmas trees that come with directions in every language but English." She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Besides, real trees are prettier..." she trailed off, turning the directions around in her hands and trying to make some semblance of sense from amongst the jibberish in front of her.

"I'd never thought you'd be the tree murderer type, MJ..." he teased.

She snorted. "There comes a time where you gotta let certain things slide. That's one thing my family always did right- get real trees...." Unable to make head nor tails of the instructions, she sighed in defeat and made her way over to him.

"Alright!! Look here Mr. Science Geek -- with that boyish, cutesy, dimpled smile and those astounding blue eyes of yours -- secretly and more known to the general public as the..." she lowered her voice coming to him, "muscle bound, brave, smart-mouthed, amazing, Spider-Man... YOU figure these directions out. Because I am so lost." She heaved the instructions at his chest with all her might, though he, unfazed, didn't rock back in the slightest, even with all her momentum. "If you can't, then it's all hopeless," MJ drawled, raising her hands in exasperation.

Peter cleared his throat, taking the despised and thoroughly abused directions into his hands. He stared at them a moment, trying to decipher them, before suddenly looking at her in confusion, something just clicking in the back of his mind. "Did you uh… did you just say muscle-bound?"

She blushed, but refused to back down. "Nu-uh, I said you have a cute smile. Pay attention, Pete."

"Oh," he muttered in response, mind still so wrapped around the possibility of what he'd heard that he failed to register her last response. He absently directed his eyes back to the directions. "Hey," he looked up again, realizing she'd said both and a lot more, "wait a second..."

"Well, c'mon what language are they in?" She poked him in the arm, interrupting him with a giggle.

He sighed, looking back at the paper. "MJ..." he stifled a chuckle, "uh… well see, you kinda had them upside down."

"Oh..." It was her turn to blush. She must have been a little distracted. "Whoops... well… always good to have a nerd around ya know, for things like that." She hastily snatched the directions back from him.

"A nerd?!" Peter gasped. "Come back here with those! If you build my tree it'll probably fall apart with the first ornament!" He began to give chase. Seeing him so bent on capturing her, she gave a delighted squeal before starting to run, instructions grasped firmly in hand.

She laughed as he pursued her, running them around in circles about the dining table, gleefully starting a game of cat and mouse, mischievous as children.

Peter hopped over the long end of the table in one quick leap-frog motion and grasped her as she ran, unable to stop, into his arms.

"No fair! No fair!!" She exploded into giggles as he began to tickle her sides. "Abuse of super powers!!" she cried softly, falling to the ground in a heap of chortles.

Peter laughed slowing his assault only when she crumpled to the floor, helpless and still in his arms. "You okay?" He helped her up, feeling guilty for pouncing on her. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, of course not!" She smiled radiantly at him, eyes still dancing with laughter. "I'm fine…I…" she fell silent then, finally having noticed that he was holding her in his arms… loosely perhaps, but all the same, it felt like heaven.

"Good..." he replied, swallowing. Her eyes were sparkling with a vivacity that seemed to penetrate the entirety of the room, made the world around him come alive. They reminded him of emerald jewels, amber flecks swimming like pixies in their depths. Her smile made his heart pound so heavily he heard it, felt it in his ears and the back of his skull… it made him feel alarmingly lightheaded. His limbs moved on their own volition and a moment later, he found himself even closer to those verdant orbs, staring straight into them. Without knowing, without any thought as to the repercussions, his hand began to move to her face, lingered a moment before he started delicately tracing her cheekbone with the pads of his fingers, a feather light touch on glowing pink skin. He sighed, remembered what it was like to kiss those lips of hers, to hold that body near his. He yearned to feel them once more.

He cupped her cheek and ran his thumb in small circles on the side of her face. His heart came to a standstill, almost stopped beating in his chest, as his breathing slowed to an unhealthy pace; it shook in his chest. She tilted her head, instinctually leaning into his caress, her eyes closing at the sensation of his touch. A smile of contentment crept upon her face, eyelids fluttering closed. He tilted his head to hers, moved to cover her mouth with his own.

She sighed; one hand coming to rest on his chest, the other content to grip the arm he had encircling her waist. That look in his eyes… that gentle, adoring look… her heart drummed ferociously in her chest, her body shook with anticipation; she might explode if he wasn't kissing her a second more, she might she might she might. And then he was there, she could feel his warm breath against her face, could almost feel those lips brush hers, so close… when he paused, gave a start, a sound like gasping.

That was when it all crashed down on them.

Peter pulled away quickly, turning his head as a sneezing fit overtook him.

MJ frowned, her heart still pounding in her chest, anticipation of what would now, never be. She sighed sadly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Pete?"

He answered her with more sneezing, tried to respond by nodding his head, which only caused his neck to jerk back farther as another sneeze presented itself, making for a reply that resembled a cross between an epileptic fit and a pot-head at a Guns and Roses concert.

MJ reached over to the table and grabbed the box of tissues for him. "Here." She handed him one, her eyes looking at him in a mixture of disappointment and concern. When he finished sneezing and finally blew his nose into the tissue, she let out another sigh and went back to the tree branches she'd left lying on the floor. She knew he'd only run, trying to deny what had almost happened again; so there was no point in disturbing the good time they were having by trying to force him back into her arms.

"Thanks," he whispered, sounding nasal.

"You catching a cold?" she asked, separating the different branch sizes to distract herself.

"It'll pass fast," Peter assured her, catching the hind of disappointment in her voice.

"Right. You heal quickly. I remember," she replied tightly. She started to assemble the branches on the tree stem, but couldn't help but add, "I wish you'd tell me more..."

"I told you, the less you know the better..."

"I know… or so you say," she interrupted a bit shortly. "Let's forget it. I don't wanna fight. We were having such a good time."

"Ok, I'm sorry MJ." He raised his hands in a sign of surrender. "Need some help?"

"Nah," she replied a little too quickly. "Now that we got these directions figured out I mean... 'm okay..."

Peter could hear the hurt and anger in her voice, even as she tried to cover it up. It really unsettled him. Frowning, he wondered if they would ever be able to say two words to each other without upsetting the other again. "Okay."

She felt guilty for snapping at him so hastily, a feeling that grew in the pit of her stomach as she continued to work on the tree. "How 'bout you, need some help with the lights?" she asked, after a while.

"Still trying to untangle the knots Uncle Ben and Aunt May made," he responded with a small, slightly sheepish smile.

He couldn't hide it from her though, no matter how much he smiled. His voice was laced with a tinge of pain, a vocal flinch, barely perceptible, but there, when he spoke to her. She knew he missed his Uncle severely, but it always seemed like there was more than nostalgia in his voice when he spoke of him. It was almost as if he felt guilty about his passing. She quietly wondered what would make him feel that way as she continued working on the tree.

Once MJ had filled the branches out on the tree she put her hands on her hips and breathed deeply in appreciation. "By the power that's vested in me let this be a tree. And poof! There ya go, Pete," she quipped. "And it's not even that lopsided."

Peter hopped down from the stairs, where he had been stringing up some lights. "Wow, MJ, great job!" he enthused, examining her handiwork.

His smiled until his dimples showed- she flushed, feeling a blossom of warmth flower inside of herself, knowing he genuinely appreciated her help. "Thanks..." She looked at the tree with appreciatively herself. "I bet it won't look so bad for a plastic tree after all. Once we put the decorations on, that is."

"Well, 'll be glad to help you, soon as I finish the lights on the stairs." Peter gestured to the string of lights curled around his arm.

"Need some help?" She walked over to him.

He looked up to the archway that separated the kitchen and living room. It was unreachable from the stairs and too high up for him to get by standing on a chair. "I might need a ladder," he admitted.

"Or you could just crawl on up the wall and hang it yourself…" MJ suggested, whispering to him, "you know, cuz you can."

Peter worried his bottom lip between his teeth in thought. "That might not be such a good idea. "

"Why not? It's not like I don't already know you can do it, and there's no one else here," MJ pushed, looking around the empty room for emphasis.

"Well, I...."

"Or you can put me on your shoulders, Tiger." She drawled, raising her brows seductively.

"Climb you say?" He ran a hand through his hair shyly. She always made his heart race when she called him Tiger.

She grinned; still amazed at the power she had over him, the super-hero with equally super powers. All in all, Spider-Man was still Peter Parker, and he would always be the shy, nerdy boy next door; even if he had lost the goofy glasses, had grown some muscles, and had an affinity for saving New York and its citizens on a daily basis. That was the thing that MJ loved the most about him.

"Here, I'll hold the lights and staple gun." She grabbed the strands of lights from him before he could protest.

He looked at her uncertainly again. "Are you sure you're not making me do this cuz I'm Spider-Man? I mean cuz you wanna know how I do all this and stuff?" he babbled nervously.

She rolled her eyes. "Pete, I really could care less about Spider-Man."

"Now you know that's not true," he chastised, waggling a finger at her. "You told me you had a crush on him."

"I also told you that I love you and not him and it doesn't make a difference cuz you're him and oh geez, will ya just hang the lights up already?" She shoved him toward the stair case.

"Okay, okay..." he relented, shuffling up the stairs. Pressing his palms onto the wall, he turned over his shoulder to look back at her once more. She was grinning at him in awe, attention riveted. On her look, he felt the familiar, heady rush of adrenalin that seemed tied to her smile and he hopped up, clinging to the ceiling near the archway.

She stared at him in amazement, taken aback even more so than usual by his powers as she watched him, out of costume. She was gaping and she very well knew it. But she couldn't find it in herself to move. Or care.

Peter turned his head to look down to her, grinning in self-satisfaction though he knew that he shouldn't feel so smug by impressing her so thoroughly. *Try not to get a swelled head Pete, she's only impressed with Spider-Man, not you...*

"Wow, Peter..." she finally breathed, coming to stand directly underneath him. "You really are something else -- color me impressed -- even more so without the costume you know? It's like, you really are just hanging there… all by yourself..." She smiled broadly. "It must be sooo amazing," she sighed whimsically, unable to hide the touch of envy in her voice.

"Yeah, well, it does have its perks," he grinned shrugging mock-modestly. His head was getting bigger by the moment, despite his early warnings to himself.

*And disadvantages...* she thought to herself though at the same time she couldn't tear her eyes off of him.

"Uhh... MJ... we gonna do this sometime today? I am still human…mostly… and blood is rushing to my head." He shifted uncomfortably on the wall, shook his head for emphasis.

"What? Oh! Oh... geez…sorry!" She quickly dragged a chair over, which was tall enough to reach him at arms length. Reaching up toward him, she handed him a strand of lights and watched as he scuttled expertly across the ceiling. She handed him the staple gun and he stretched the lights out across the archway, stapling as he moved.

When he reached the end, he back flipped neatly off the ceiling and landed lightly on his toes and his left palm, his free hand clutching the staple gun.

"Show off," she snorted, still standing on the chair.

"It's just easier than hopping down. I make less noise landing by distributing the weight that way," he explained, reaching out to grab her wrist and help her down from the chair.

"Uh huh... sure," she laughed sarcastically.

"It's true!" he defended, knowing it wasn't…well, not so much anyway.

"If you say so, Pete," she singsonged as she finished stringing the lights down the archway and plugged them in. "Ready to do the tree?"

He was sifting through a box, and gulped when he found a sprig of green leaves and little red flowers more commonly known as mistletoe when he heard her question. Boy, Aunt May sure could be sneaky. "Uh... tree?" he asked, voice slightly higher than he intended. Clearing his throat, he quickly concealed the mistletoe with left-over garland. "Yeah... sure…yeah…"

She raised her brows at him, wondering what had him so jumpy all of a sudden.

Together, they began hanging ornaments of all colors on the tree: shiny glass balls of all shapes and sizes, strands of lights and special ornaments that bore the names of Peter's loved ones, from his parents to his aunt and uncle.

MJ admired a metallic silver and gold ornament, decorated with images of doves carrying mistletoe, sparkling snowflakes, and diamond speckled hearts. "This is gorgeous," she breathed, watching the light dance off the images like snow fairies.

At the sound of her voice, Peter looked up from hanging candy canes and smiled at the sight of the ornament she held so delicately in her hands. "It's my favorite," he admitted softly, setting down the candy canes and putting his hands around hers. He turned the Christmas ball around in her hands, so she could see the inscription. "It was my mother's and father's; it's from their first Christmas together. Uncle Ben told me Dad had it made for her overseas and it cost him everything he had in his pocket that Christmas. Uncle Ben said that she never regretted not getting anything extravagant that year because she loved this so..." he paused, voice catching a little, "…because she loved this so much," he finished softly: love, pride and a sense of loss all filled his voice.

She looked up at him, at his hands cupping hers. Smiling softly, she felt her heart swell, so honored was so to be gifted with such intimate knowledge of his past. "That's so sweet. Your mom and dad were really in love," she sighed dreamily, slightly envious.

"Yeah, guess so." He examined the precious ornament, making sure no damage had come to it. "It was sweet of Aunt May to let me have it this year."

"Here," she turned it over gently into his palms. "You should hang it yourself; it's special to you..."

"Oh, it's okay, MJ. I don't mind," he admitted, moving to give it back to her.

"No Pete, its something special," she protested.

"How bout we do it together?" he offered, not letting up.

"If you insist," she conceded, with a smile. "Where should we put it?"

"How bout right here in the front?" he suggested, pointing to an open spot out where it could be seen by all.

"Okay," she agreed, intertwining her fingers with his over the fragile ornament.

Together they hooked it onto a stable branch and stood back to admire it.

MJ reached out to straighten it as it spun the names of Peter's parents and the year it was given in front of them. It turned slowly in the soft light and MJ blinked back tears from her eyes as she read the other side of it. It read in gold inscriptions over the silver:

To the love of my life, my wife, my partner, my best friend...May love always find us at this special time of year and every one that follows. My greatest joy will always be loving you...

Peter looked over at MJ when he heard a distinctive sniffle. He tilted his head, wondering why her eyes were stained with tears. "MJ? What's wrong?"

She swallowed hard, wiping the back of her palms across her eyes quickly. She only wished she and Peter could have such a special Christmas, celebrated together in love. She cleared her throat, covering up her longing with a smile. "Nothing, Tiger, it's just so beautiful..." she whispered. "It must be wonderful to feel so in love." She reached out to touch the ornament again, wishing it had their names inscribed on it.

Peter's heart plummeted to his feet as he watched her, witnessing how much she longed for the same kind of love his parents had had for one another, and his heart shattered when he realized that he couldn't give it to her. Lowering his head in shame, he wished, oh he wished he could do something to take her pain away, the same pain he felt clotting in his chest, and oh he ached with all he was, wanting, wishing that there could be a future for him with MJ, the same his parents had had together before passing away. He wanted for the trivial things of being in love like special ornaments, special restaurants and flowers and certain songs and moments that made life all worth living for. Oh how he wished.

But he had to be content with having her friendship. His first responsibility was to be true to his duty as Spider-Man, his promise to Uncle Ben that no more people he loved would hurt because of who he'd become would see to that. He had stumbled upon a great power and subsequently had been allotted with the responsibility of carrying it with him for the rest of his life. And he'd have to shoulder the burden of spending a lifetime of loneliness in the process.

MJ looked over at him, catching his cerulean eyes with her own. She saw the look of torment, the mask of indecision written all over his features. She silently prayed he'd tell her what was bothering him; what made him give up all he had right in the palm of his hands because of his special gift. Why couldn't he just share his gift with her? Let her help him deal with everything he faced on a daily basis? Why did he feel he was obligated to do it all alone? All she wanted was to love him, to help him. Why couldn't he just give in and know she was safer with him at her side than on her own?

Peter couldn't stand the dismal look on her face anymore, he was sure his expression mirrored her own. He shook his head, bent down to begin searching through the box of ornaments again, looking for anything that could put the smile back on her face. He grinned, triumphant, upon finding just such a thing buried beneath all the assorted wooden figures of Santa Claus, snowmen and reindeer. "Hey MJ, I never knew you were one of Santa's lil helpers..." he teased, showing off what he found.

MJ's tortured expression changed to that of delight and a smile cracked through the gray clouds in her eyes. They shimmered to life and she snorted at him, lifting one delicate eyebrow. Snatching the wooden ornament from his hand, she examined it close up. It was a little elf, carrying a bundle of presents in a green smock. She smiled radiantly; all brilliant red hair decorated with green bows. The sad thing was, it did resemble her. "Ha, ha very funny, Peter..." she laughed dryly, though her smile was genuine. He always knew what to say to make her laugh.

"So can I tell you what I want Santa to bring me for Christmas?" he teased further, relieved to hear her laughter again.

"Why tell me, you're Spider-Man! I'm sure Santa's got a soft spot for superheroes. Even if they do turn out to be stalkers..." she teased in return.

"But he doesn't know who Spidey really is," Peter played along, happy to leave behind all the bad feelings from before.

"Sure he does!! Santa knows everything!" she assured him, winking.

"How would you know?"

"I'm his lil helper, remember?" MJ sniffed, tossing her hair coyly as she reached out and made the ornament dance on the end of its string.

He snatched it back from her and hung it on the tree.

"Hey, I betcha hallmark makes an ornament of you!" MJ's eyes lit up. "Wouldn't that be cool?"

"Please, half the city of NY hates me." Peter rolled his eyes.

"They do not! Not after you saved me and those kids on the cable car," she reminded him. "It's just that stupid J. Jonah Jameson that writes all those awful things about you," she huffed, hanging a snowman on the tree. She stopped puzzled. "Peter? How come you keep taking pictures of Spider-Man for him??" She gripped his arm tightly, despite the bandages on her hands. "Hang on a sec... how do you take pics of Spider-Man??"

"Well, I set my camera up on timer and take them that way. They're the only photos he wants from me MJ, so I gotta do it to pay the rent," he explained, shrugging it off.

"But how can you let him bad mouth Spider-Man like that, and with your own pictures?!" She shook her head. "It's not right."

"I guess to say it's ironic would be an understatement, huh?" he chuckled. "I can't let it get to me MJ, it's part of that whole secret identity thing. Besides, taking pictures of Spider-Man makes it all the less likely that I could be him. Jonah would have a cow if he ever figured out that Peter Parker could possibly be him. He'd have me arrested on sight."

"I suppose so... I just wish he'd set the record straight. You're a hero to this entire city," MJ ranted, digging down, finding the last of the ornaments.

"Spoken like any true fan club President," Peter joked.

"Spider-Man for mayor!" MJ whooped with a laugh.

"That'd be the day," Peter chuckled, shaking his head as he finished off the candy canes.

"Looks like that's all the ornaments," MJ declared, taking in their handiwork satisfactorily.

"Yup," Peter replied simply, surveying the room. It was definitely more cheery.

MJ put the cover back on the box that housed the ornaments. She smiled, eyes catching his for a moment. He returned the gesture unconsciously. Unable to help herself, she let her eyes drift back to the tree, catching sight of that special silver/gold ornament. Feeling both warmed and chilled at the sight of it, she wrapped her arms around herself and walked over to the balcony windows. She pulled back the curtain, studying the snowfall outside. Sighing, she watched it fall at a rapid rate. At least it seemed lighter than before.

"Well, looks like its starting to let up a bit," MJ announced, leaning against the cool glass. "From a blizzard to a storm," she chuckled. "Looks to be bout 4 feet out there."

Peter peered over her shoulder. "Actually, according to the mileage of the wind and given the amount of time the snow's been falling... looks to be about 6 feet."

"Ever the science geek, Pete," she sighed, making her way back to the couch.

He blushed. "Sorry..."

"It's okay. That's what makes you, you." MJ smiled at him.

He sat beside her and took in all the twinkling lights illuminating his apartment now. "Thanks for the help with the decorating, MJ... probably would've never gotten it done without you."

"Glad to help. I don't have any decorations at my apartment. Gina was supposed to get some but she's too busy I guess." She reached over to pull a throw blanket around her legs and snuggled into the warmth of the now cozy apartment. "I usually love Christmas..."

"Oh, hey, you ready to light the tree?" Peter interrupted her daydreams as her smile started going slightly sour.

She was yanked from thoughts of how Christmas at home had changed over the years, and the fact that this would be her first Christmas away from her parents. She couldn't wait, but she still felt lonely. "Yeah," she smiled. "Make sure you turn off the lights!" MJ ordered as Pete went over to plug in the extension cord.

He flicked the lights off and the apartment went dark, leaving only the twinkling strands of lights around his stairwell and kitchen to illuminate the room. "Ready?" he looked to her for his cue.

She nodded.

He plugged them in and all at once an array of brilliant colors lit the room up, the star atop the tree blinking in a rainbow of light. "Wow..." He grinned, coming to sit next to her.

"It's beautiful, even for a fake tree," MJ complimented, referring back her initial distaste for the plastic type.

"Yeah, it is," Peter allowed, smiling so his dimples showed.

MJ looked over at him and for a moment, and all the world was right. They almost seemed like a normal couple in love, celebrating the holidays together. She took in his sweet smile and slipped closer to him on the couch. "Are you scared?"

"Of?"

"Your first Christmas away from your Aunt?" MJ whispered.

He nodded, thinking of Uncle Ben. Being without him was gonna be even harder.

"And your Uncle?" MJ read his mind. "You must miss him a lot now."

"I always miss him a lot." Peter's voice grew raspy with emotion. "How bout you? Gonna go home for the holidays?"

*I already feel like I am home, here with you...* "Nah, rather be all alone than with them..." Almost ashamed of her words, she looked down at her bandaged hands.

"You're not alone Mary Jane." Peter put an arm around her shoulder.

She looked over at him, her heart soaring at his show of affection. She leaned into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. She put an arm around him, hugging him close.

"MJ..."

"Just for a little while Tiger, please?" she pleaded, tightening her hold on him. Her resolve broke and she couldn't stand being a minute longer without feeling as close to him as he'd let her. She looked up at him, again close enough to feel the warmth of his breath tickle her face. She swallowed her pride and opened her heart, though she knew rejection was imminent. "I feel so safe when I'm with you, Pete. Like the other night, when you held me till I fell asleep," she spoke honestly, resting her chin against his chest. "I know you don't love me, but can't you just hold me, for a little while? Please?"

He couldn't deny the emerald pools staring up at him, luminescent in the soft glow of the Christmas lights. He didn't think there was anything that could make him deny her anything right now. Moving his other arm around her, he fixed the blanket tightly about her and embraced her, pulling her against him. He rested his cheek against the pillow of soft vermillion hair and closed his eyes. *I don't have to pretend MJ, I love you and I love holding you like this...*

She snuggled into his lap and closed her eyes, pulling the blanket up to her chin. She listened to the beat of his heart- rapid pounding in his chest, and she dared to hope that it was her presence that caused it to race so. She felt a touch of serenity from being held in his strong arms- the long awaited feeling of security, of absolute safety. It was so rare for her. She remembered the feel of his arms around her the other night as Spider-Man, and she knew, she knew, nothing would ever compare to being held by him like this, right now, with the gentle rise and fall of his chest lulling her, his warm breath blowing into her hair, the feel of his hand gently rubbing her cheek, and the pounding of his heart rocking her to sleep.

**********

Peter woke with a small start, feeling a weight on his chest. He looked down, and found a redhead buried in his arms. He sighed contentedly and allowed a rueful smile, letting himself imagine that they had been cuddling on his couch, and fallen asleep kissing each other. He stroked her hair, breathing in the scent that was uniquely hers. He squeezed her close and cherished the feel of her in his arms.

He sat in the silence of the living room, surrounded by blinking Christmas lights, and he felt a pang in his heart, wanting to spend every night with her just like this. They loved each other so much. It was unfair for him to keep her so close, yet not let her into his heart. He decided right then to wake her and let her know that he loved her. He remembered the look of sorrow in her eyes earlier, when she found his parents' Christmas ornament. He wanted her to know that she was loved just as much.

"MJ..." Peter called, lifting her weight up into his arms. "Wake up, Mary Jane..." He shook her gently.

She didn't stir.

"Boy, are we a heavy sleeper," Peter quipped, pulling her closer to him, attempting to wake her. He lifted her chin, grazing his lips on hers hoping that would stir her awake. "Wake up, beautiful..." he whispered.

Her head tilted back, limp.

"MJ?" his voice grew slightly high with concern. She was limp in his arms- dead weight. "Wake up! MJ?" He shook her a bit harder now; heart pounding so heavily, his ears rang. That was when he noticed she wasn't breathing. "Oh God, Mary Jane!!" he cried, cuddling her lifeless body in his arms. What had happened?!

An evil cackle filled the room and Peter looked up, trying to find the source.

It filled the room from all ends, closed in around him… the same dull, wicked laughter over and over.

Peter's heart froze, his veins filling with ice. He knew that laugh.

"You killed her, Parker!!!" the voice snarled, filled with demonic laughter.

Peter's head snapped around and he found himself face to face with a ghost.

The Green Goblin was standing across the room, his yellow eyes glinting in the moonlight. "Well done, Parker!!! You killed the woman you loved!!"

Peter shook with fear as his eyes settled on her lifeless face. "MJ?!" he felt a wave of nausea wash over him, his body covered in cold sweat. "No!!!!"

"All with one deadly kiss, Parker, you lost it all! You poisoned her!! Some hero!" Goblin tormented. "Now you're no better than me!!"

Peter shook his head violently. "I didn't!!!!! I didn't!"

"What would Uncle Ben say?!" Goblin gasped, putting a hand to his masked mouth. "You're a monster, Spider-Man!!! You killed her!! Such a sweet, innocent girl. Oh she loved you! And you klild her!"

Peter's eyes filled with tears. "No!! I didn't!!!" he brushed back MJ's hair from her face, stroking her skin, his touch desperate. "MJ, please!! No!!!"

"All with a kiss, you lost it all!!!" Goblin pointed at him, cackling.

"Noooo!!!! Mary Jane!!!!!" he gripped her vehemently, shaking her, praying that she jerk awake, get up, furious at him for disturbing her rest. "Please MJ, no!!! I love you!!!"

Then she was tumbling off the bridge into a bottomless pit of darkness below. She screamed for him, reaching out to him.

Peter couldn't move. He tried to shoot a web to her but nothing happened. "MJ!!!!! No!!!"

"Peter!!!" she cried voice far away.

"Peter, wake up!!!!" Her voice sounded closer now. "Please!! You're hurting me!!! Wake up!!!"

Peter's eyes shot open and he screamed.

MJ immediately felt the pressure of his grasp loosen. "Peter, my God... are you okay?"

Peter sat up, dazed. "What?" he then realized he held MJ by her upper arms, in a vice like grip. He let go of her gently. "MJ?"

"You were dreaming, Pete," she soothed. "Everything's okay now. I'm right here..." She tenderly stroked back strands of his tousled, matted hair.

"What happened?" Peter groaned, rubbing his eyes. He noticed it was as dark outside as in his dream, though the lights twinkled just the same. It seemed so real, so vivid.

"You were screaming my name and no over and over, Pete. You sounded really scared. I woke up when I felt you squeezing me." She rubbed her arm a bit sorely. "And what a grip you've got..."

"Did I hurt you?" his eyes filled with concern, his hand reaching out to touch her arm.

"I'll be okay... I'm worried bout you though..."

"Was just a bad dream." He tried to shrug it off, avoided her.

MJ sighed, reached up to continue stroking his hair. His forehead was damp with sweat. "Musta been really bad..."

"I'll be okay," he muttered softly.

She let her fingers trail down to his cheek. She stroked his cheekbone smiling. "You don't have to be strong for me, Pete... What happened? Did I do something to hurt you?"

He shook his head silently, his blue eyes seeming pale.

"Did something happen to me?" She cocked her head to the side, studying him intently.

He nodded gently, eyes locked on hers.

He resembled a scared little boy, so lost and alone that she couldn't resist pulling him into a hug.

"It was my fault. I couldn't protect you," he whispered, afraid to speak, arms encircling her protectively.

"I'm okay though, Pete. Thanks to you, I'm always okay. You always save me," she assured him, smiling for reassurance.

"Not this time." He shook his head, chilled inside. "Not this time."

"It was just a dream, Tiger," she shushed, rubbing his arm comfortingly. "I'm right here with you."

He threw his arms around her and pulled her into a crushing hug. "MJ.... I..." he trailed off. He wanted to tell her, it was right there, ready to come out, but his conscious slapped him hard, back to reality, back to the possibilities.

"Yes?" Her eyes lit up with hope.

That made it all the more harder for him. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm okay now. I just… I don't want anything to happen to you."

She lowered her eyes to the couch. "You should go to bed, Pete," she suggested softly. "Maybe you'll be more comfortable there."

He shook his head, leaning back onto the couch pillows. He pulled her with him. "I'm fine right here, knowing you're safe. Besides, I promised to stay with you for awhile."

She grinned widely. "Thanks, Tiger.... I always sleep much better with you close by." She rested her head on his chest and slipped into the little space between him and the back of the couch. Burying her head into the fabric of his shirt, she wrapped her arm around his neck, stroking the hairs behind his ear.

As the rise and fall of his chest began to grow steadier and she was sure he was sound asleep, she pulled the blanket up over them and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Sweet dreams, Tiger..."

coming soon chapter 8!