Thre long wait is over!! Amen!! To those that really care LOL Well, I promised
and delivered. Though, I truly hope it was worth the wait and you all
enjoy it. I will try to post chapter 9 ASAP as well. Please be
honest in your opinions but don't shoot me down, my ego needs a boost since
its been so long since I updated!! :) I again apologize for leaving
y'all waiting and dare hope it doesn't happen again!!! I hate waiting
for fics to update so I feel for all of you who waited for me. Thank
you for your emails asking when I was going to add more and for all your
kind words. Its with your enjoyment and kind words that I continue
to work on this fic, so keep 'em rolling and 'll keep the chapters rolling
:) It's a win-win situation really...really...it is!! I swear it!!!
Remember, read and review!! ;) Make my world a better place...
Its been so long, but you guys waited long enough, disclaimers and AN's can be find on the first chapter, so if you're new to this hullabaloo go there (and why the heck are you starting with the latest chapter?) *g* and you'll find all the info you seek.
In case you forgot, *words* are thoughts, and the rest is pretty simple... LOL
The song to start off this chapter is my favorite for MJ/P and I waited and waited for the right chapter to use it in and considering how the chapter ends, I thought it fit here, but it really is the perfect song to describe MJ's feelings for her man. *g*
Without further ado...
Chapter 8: Tested and Still Standing...
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
could make me love you less
I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
The first thing he became aware of was the combined scents of perfume and coffee. He sniffed again, the mixed aroma tingling his nose. He opened an eye and peered out into the light of morning that filled the room. The blanket pulled up to his neck was permeated with the perfumed aroma he smelt. It caused him to sigh softly. It only brought one thought to mind; MJ...
His mind grew foggy trying to remember the night's events and why the smell of MJ's perfume was all over his blanket. He opened both eyes, remembering the snow that stranded her there and decorating, then falling asleep holding her and finally ... the nightmare. He sat up slowly, disorientated, trying to piece together what was real and what wasn't.
He turned his head, searching for her. He let out a sigh of relief when he caught her shadowed figure by the windows. She sat in one of the dining chairs, knees tucked up and her arms wrapped around them. A cup of steaming coffee was grasped in her tiny hands. The winter morning light made her fiery red hair look deep burgundy with highlights of gold where the sun peaked through a cloud.
She was an angel.
Or the kind of person who resembled an angel; one who was still living and breathing.
Thank you very much.
And he'd like to keep it that way.
His stomach rumbled and his mouth watered for the taste of coffee. He wondered for a moment when he'd become such a caffeine addict then tossed the thought and the blanket aside and stood, stretching. He looked over at her, wondering what he would say to her after their night together. He felt a rush of nostalgia at the thought of being tongue-tied around her.
Not the good kind of nostalgia either.
It came complete with every emotion the nerdy Peter Parker felt around this angel of his. He felt his heart pound wildly and his vocal cords constrict, if that was at all possible. His palms began to sweat and his breathing came to a halt. Amazing what effect this girl had over him. A super-hero shaking in his tights; its not a pretty picture. Still, he'd come a long way since then ... yes, causing actual sentences to make sense when he spoke to her was improvement.
With that, he stepped closer to her. He came to stand over her, wanting so much to reach out and stroke her fiery red hair. *Be brave Parker...* He licked his lips and his mouth opened. He made a soft squeak, not audible to the ear.
MJ set her mug down on the heater. She sighed, letting out a cough as his attempt to speak came out.
He cursed the butterflies in his stomach and took a shaky breath. *Knock it off Peter ... just cuz she spent the night doesn't mean anything has to be different.* "Hey MJ..." he whispered, finally finding the courage.
She gasped, turning quickly. "Peter!!" she clutched her chest. "Holy!!! You are as sneaky as a spider...geez...." she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. "What's the big idea?!" she punched his arm.
"Sorry," he blushed sheepishly. "Didn't mean to-"
Her eyes widened quickly as if a thought just came to mind.
She turned from him quickly, running her hands through her hair. "I thought you were still asleep."
"Just woke up," he informed, watching her rake her fingers through those gorgeous locks. He sighed in envy.
"Uhh... coffee's fresh and... I was gonna make some breakfast, but much like the movies, your 'bachelor pad' has no food that's still edible..." she tucked strands behind her ears.
"Ok," he replied simply. "Coffee 's good..." he smiled. She was staring out the window, hands still going through her hair over and over. He cocked his head, studying her. "MJ? You ok?"
"Yeah, fine," she answered.
He put a hand on her shoulder, worried. "Are you sure?" he turned her shoulder, hoping she'd look at him.
"Peter, yeah..." she wouldn't budge.
"Hey..." he kneeled beside her, all thoughts of being afraid to talk to her flew out the window with concern for her well being. "MJ..."
"I just... I-I didn't put my make up on and stuff, don't look at me," she stammered and turned her face further from him.
"Oh, MJ ... you don't have to..."
"Really... I'm not quite the pretty face in the morning... I-"
"Mary Jane, you're gorgeous any time of the day..." he spoke before his mind could argue with him about it.
She chuckled sardonically. "A compliment from Peter Parker. Must be my lucky day."
He wasn't lost on her sarcasm. Confused by it, yes. Women were the strangest creatures on earth. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"
She sighed, turning to him finally. "Nothing, Pete. I'm sorry." She was genuine. His own hair stuck up in strands wildly, his blue eyes filled with sleep. Even mussed up, he was just as handsome, if not more. There was a definite cute factor there.
He decided right then and there, she really was beyond gorgeous. "Ok..." he let it go. "Thanks for making coffee..." he was toying with a strand of her hair before he knew it.
"No problem..." she smiled. "Snow stopped falling." She informed distracted by his finger tips twirling the ends of her locks. She was afraid to speak or move, afraid he would stop. She smiled, wondering if he even knew the scarlet strands were wrapped around his finger. "Looks like you were right on the mark. They said it was a total of 6 feet. I've never seen Manhattan at such a stand still. Said it could take most of the day to get the streets and sidewalk cleaned."
He let the strand untwirl from his grasp and gave her a small smile, looking apologetic. He stood, walking to the kitchen to get that cup of coffee he woke aching for. He let out a final yawn, ingesting her information. "Maybe Spider-Man will get a day off then."
She huffed. "I think even Enrique is taking the day off. Or so I hope, or 'm out a job...."
"Do you wanna give a call? I could try and you know..." he paused. "...web sling you over there..." he offered, pouring a cup.
"Nah..." she stood, grabbing her mug. "One thing I know about Enrique that 'm sure of, snow and Enrique don't mix. He'll keep the diner closed, especially if there's no money to be made." She set her mug down next to his.
Peter refilled her mug. He silently thanked the stars that she didn't have to go. He wanted to keep her here as long as he could. Despite the warning in his brain, his heart would not allow the message to take heed.
"Maybe you can take me home though..." she interrupted his thoughts. "I don't wanna be in your way..."
"Don't be silly! What am I gonna do here all by myself anyway?" Peter sipped the hot coffee.
"I dunno..." she traced her finger around the rim of her mug. "What'd ya plan to do with me here?" she raised a shaped brow delicately, her voice full of suggestion.
Peter coughed, managing to swallow his coffee this time. "MJ..." he choked. "You have a bad habit of saying the darndest things when there's hot coffee involved!"
She chuckled. "I do, don't I? Sorry..." she sipped her coffee.
"So how are you at chess?" Peter asked.
She raised a brow at him again, this time more menacing. "If that's your idea of a good time, I may have to take back what I said about always having a geek around as of the good..."
He chuckled, dimples showing. "Checkers?"
She groaned. "Paint drying on the wall? Counting the molecules floating around the air?"
"Point taken," he laughed, hands raised in defense. "I guess my humor isn't as funny without the costume..."
She shook her head with a teasing smile. "You just haven't woken up yet..."
"I hope, heaven forbid I lose my charming wit. I'd be lost without it..." he rolled his eyes.
"You'd still be a pretty face," she shrugged. "Speaking of..." she slipped away from the counter. "I'm gonna go put mine on, and see if my clothes are dry."
"You already have a pretty face!" he called as she headed upstairs.
"Thanks, Tiger..." she stopped on the steps to smile at him.
Her eyes met his and they locked each other in a silent look, that spoke volumes. She smiled softly, heart pounding at the sparkle of his bright blue eyes, staring up at her, and that boyish smile she'd come to cherish.
That smile that was privately reserved for her eyes only. Little did she know, it was truly for her. The one that said all the things he couldn't or wouldn't say to her.
Then, the most god awful noise filled the room.
The phone rang.
"Wow, almost forgot what that was like..." Peter cracked as he walked over to pick up, but the answering machine got it first. "Probably just Aunt May...."
MJ continued back up the stairs.
"Hey, you've reached Peter and Harry ... we're busy at the moment, leave us a message and we'll get back to ya!" the machine played.
"Peter?" a female voice, much too young to be Aunt May spoke.
MJ turned back at the top of the stairs.
"It's Amber. How are you? I guess you're sleeping, cuz there's no way you're out in the snow. Right?" she paused, a sweet chuckle filling the room. "Anyway, just wanted to call and say hi. Hope we could make that lunch date happen soon. Say, after the snow enables life to go on living?" she chuckled sweetly again.
It made MJ sick.
Peter stared at the machine like it was a foreign object.
"Well, if you get this message, give a call back. Thanks for being so sweet to me! You always know just what to say to put a smile on my face. Number's 989-0016. Hope to hear from you soon! Bye cutie!"
Then the monotone voice of the answering machine said there was one new message.
MJ's heart pounded fearfully at the top of the stairs. She stared down at him, eyes begging him to explain this away.
Peter fell nauseous, and his stomach rolled. He was grateful he hadn't eaten anything yet. He felt his spider sense tingle and he knew there was no kind of physical danger but he could feel MJ's eyes blazing into him and he was sure her hard stare was what caused it to go off. He swallowed hard, wishing this didn't seem as it appeared. A million ideas on what to say rushed to his mind at once making his temples pound.
He brushed back his hair nervously. "She's new at the Bugle..." he said weakly. *Great start, Pete.*
MJ continued to stare, wanting more. There had to be a proper explanation. Peter would not keep her at bay while some floozy blonde threw herself at him. And yes, she could tell she was blonde just from her voice. It was a talent she acquired working in the acting industry.
"She ... uh ... she's a freelance writer..." he continued. "I saved her the other night. Well, she doesn't know it was me obviously." He chuckled, nervously. "I met her in the elevator and we got to talking," he added, still seeing her eyes filled with accusation. "She's a friend." He finished lamely.
MJ nodded mutely. *Just a friend, like you are, MJ. Nothing more. He can't be with anyone. He told you that. Because of Spider-Man. If he wanted to be with someone it was you, MJ. He held you last night, MJ. He held you all night, and he's with you now, MJ.* her heart told, soothing the blow of reality. *He also didn't lay a hand on you all night. He held you that close and didn't even kiss you. He's not interested in you, MJ. Get over it. You sat there all morning brooding about it at the window. Just let it go. Peter Parker is interested in someone else.* her mind scolded. She turned quickly and headed to the bathroom, wanting to hide her tears.
Peter sighed heavily. He sunk into a chair and buried his head in his hands. He didn't need spider powers to know she was upset. He looked heavenward, pleading for a break. First, no one wanted scrawny, nerdy, Peter Parker. Now, MJ not only falls in love with nerdy, geek Peter Parker, who he wished she'd love all his life, but with his alter ego as well. Now, he couldn't love her in return because of who he'd become. And to top it off, Amber was interested in him as well. And not even Spider-Man! Just Peter! What were the odds?! "Women..." he muttered.
MJ breathed heavily, taking in whooshes of air. "Stay calm, MJ..." she whispered to herself. "No reason to get upset." But she wasn't just upset. She was a multitude of emotions at the moment: heated, angered, pissed off, hurt, betrayed, heartbroken, confused. But mostly pissed, and anything but calm. She clenched her fists, staring at herself in the mirror. She wanted to pound something into oblivion and that something just happened to be the object of her affection. "Humph..." she huffed. Just another emotion. She wanted to shout out her frustrations, pound out her anger and hurt, and cry out her sense of betrayal and heart ache.
She did none.
She just changed her clothes and tried to put on her happy girl, party face along with her makeup. Pretending in front of Peter was something she stopped doing a long time ago. It was apparent she shouldn't have ever wore her heart on her sleeve around him. And as much as she liked to believe that she would stop, something told her she couldn't.
Braving a look in the mirror she blessed the wonders of make-up, amazed how it didn't even look as if she cried. She straightened the hem of her hooded teal sweatshirt, and pulled it over the waistband of Peter's sweat pants. Her jeans were totaled in her fall. She huffed, looking at the giant holes in the knees of the denim. They were her favorite pair too.
It just wasn't her day.
She stuffed the jeans into one of her shopping bags and took a deep breath. Just how she was she to pretend that she wasn't upset about his new 'friend'? "Well, you are an actress, MJ." She said to the mirror. "Just pretend it doesn't matter." She put on a smile and tested its veracity. "Not too bad..." she shrugged and headed out the bathroom door.
She peered down the stair case looking for a sign of Peter. To her surprise she couldn't see him. She took a few steps down, looking into the living room but no sign there either. She assumed he was in his room, changing or something. *Or he left you all alone in the middle of a snow storm in his apartment to go play hero with Amber...*
"Ugh, MJ ... get a grip..." she whispered to herself, taking the last step. She walked into the living room and turned the TV on, hoping for a weather report.
Then, she turned for the kitchen to find something to satisfy her complaining stomach. At least there was something she could do about that. She searched the fridge for a second time this morning.
"And looks like this weather is about to let up finally. We had a total of six feet, and two quarters of an inch. But the temperature is going to rise into the low 50's this afternoon, making the snow plower's jobs just a bit easier. Look for major roadways in Manhattan to be cleared by early evening, and those out of the city about the same time. I'll be back with your holiday and seven day outlook just a little later on. Back to you now, Sue," the TV played.
MJ found some eggs buried in the back of the fridge, and to her surprise bread that wasn't stale. So eggs and toast it was.
"This dismal weather hasn't seem to stop the crime in the city. There were over ten attacks and two shootouts reported last night in Manhattan alone. In Queens, an elderly couple were robbed in their own house and early reports of a serial rapist striking again in a newlywed's home have surfaced. Reports are the woman's husband, an ER doctor for Jamaica Hospital, was on call last night leaving his new bride home alone. The attacker broke in from a built up snow bank by the window and raped the young woman at knifepoint. We'll have a sketch and a phone number you can call with any information leading to his arrest after this commercial break...."
MJ turned to the TV frowning. "Guess criminals never take a night off. What a horrible thing to happen ... and so close to the holidays." She shook her head in disgust and gasped when she noticed Peter, freshly changed, standing on the staircase with his eyes glued to the TV. He was frowning deeply and his usually big, bright blue eyes were dull and filled with guilt and sorrow.
MJ felt her anger with him evaporate at his 'lost little boy' expression. There was no way to stay angry with him when she could see the guilt eating him up from the inside out. She had to help him.
"I could've stopped that..." he shook his head glumly.
"Not in Queens, no you couldn't have. Not in this weather, Peter. You may be a super-hero but you're not invincible...." MJ looked sympathetic.
"I'm not a super-hero Mary Jane..." he said morosely. "I'm not even a hero."
"You are too, Peter and don't you dare say differently. You saved my life more times than I can probably count on one hand. You saved tons of children, stopped numerous bank robbers, muggers, rapists, defeated the Green Goblin and you do it even with that jerk, Jonah Jameson bad mouthing you every step of the way. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for everything that happens in this city!" she pointed a finger at him vigorously. "You can't stop every crime and every thing that happens, its physically impossible ... not to mention the emotional wreck you're gonna make yourself."
"I have to try though," he came down the rest of the way, coming to stand on the other side of the kitchen counter.
"That's all you can do, Pete. Try. But you can't feel guilty over this...." MJ shook her head in disapproval. "It's not fair to you, or healthy."
"With great power come great responsibility..." he mumbled, looking miserable.
"Oh Peter, who told you such-"
"Uncle Ben, and he was right! You don't know what its like to have these powers and use them the wrong way...." Peter snapped.
"Whoa Tiger..." she raised her hands in defense. "I was gonna agree with it, no need to rip my head off, ok? Your uncle was right, but you're not responsible for every single person in NY or responsible for stopping every single crime in NY." She put a hand over his on the table. "You do what you can and the people respect and love you for it. They don't expect you to stop every crime, you're still human."
Peter felt a rush of warmth at her touch. He sighed, wishing he could forget what he heard on the news and not feel like it was his fault. Not everyone felt as she said, but it was the ones that did that counted. Still, he knew he'd chew himself up for it worse than any other could.
"Tiger, there are bad, crazy people out there in this world, and even sometimes super-heroes are defenseless against them. You're not the one out there attacking people, you're helping. There's only so much even Spider-Man can do..." she squeezed his soft skin. "You can't be Spider-Man 24 hours a day. You need a place and family to call home and time that's yours alone too. You'll go insane if you don't. Think about that..." she paused, finding his sapphire eyes. "What good will you be if you're not happy and healthy? You'll be reckless and do something stupid and dangerous..." she paused, catching her voice. "There are people who ... care ... and ... love you and don't wanna see you get hurt or worse..."
He shrugged, giving just a bit. "I guess so ... but..."
"Anh ah. No buts. You know 'm right," she paused, mulling over whether to continue with what she thought. She found his eyes studying her for further wisdom so she cleared her throat and continued. "Which is why 'm glad you told me the truth. You need someone to share this with. You can't keep all these emotions bottled up inside you like that. You need to talk about your feelings and what happens out there. I don't know how you went this long without telling someone. And as much as you may wanna protect me from this, I wanna be here for you. I know you won't tell me everything, and I wish you would. I wish you would tell me what makes you feel so guilty all the time. What makes you so sad and so sure you'll lose me because of who you are. I wanna know so I can help. But, I'll understand and wait till you're ready, if ever, to tell me everything. Till then, I wanna help you as much as I can, help you feel less guilty and sad." She poured her heart out, after just promising her reflection scant minutes ago she'd never do it again. Her heart belonged to him whether he'd have her or not. There was no escaping it.
"I wanna be your fan club president..." she teased, bringing a small smile to both their faces. With a reassuring squeeze of his hand, she took a deep breath. "I'll stand by you, Tiger. No matter what."
Peter closed his eyes, waiting for the tears building in his eyes to subside. He didn't want to cry in front of her. He didn't want her to know how much she'd touched base on, how close she came to reaching inside his being and touching every part of himself that he buried in a dark hole. He wished once again, for the millionth time that he could change things. He wished he could tell her just how responsible he was for his own uncle's death, and how responsible he felt for Norman Osborn's death. Not to mention feeling the great weight of protecting Aunt May and her from danger. It would only maximize if she became his lover. At least as just a friend, there was a way to keep her safe.
He instantly felt guilty all over again at her show of support. After what had just happened earlier with his answering machine, he was amazed at how selfless she was acting. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been for telling her about Amber so detrimentally. He could've found a better way to tell her, a way that wouldn't make her assume the worst. If he could just tell her that it was she he loved, and there could never be anyone else for him...
He turned his palm over, taking the hand she cupped his with, into his grasp and his thumb traced her soft skin. He checked her wounds and saw they were healing quickly. They were just minor scrapes, thank the heavens. After attempting to sidestep her speech, distracting himself with her injures, he sighed softly, knowing he'd accept her proposal to be there for him. And while he couldn't tell her everything, the thought that she'd wait to hear them lent him some comfort.
He smiled as his eyes fell on her smaller hand entwined with his. It felt so right to be holding her hand. His fingers brushed her knuckles playfully. His grin grew wider when she giggled from his ministrations with his fingertips. He chuckled softly, realizing his prickly fingertips were sticking to her skin, causing a tickling sensation for her. "Sorry ... all these months and I still can't control my powers sometimes."
She examined his digits with curiosity, eyes wide with astonishment. "Does it hurt?"
"Nah, it feels more like shocks of static electricity when they stick..." he shook his head.
She grinned. "Cool..." her voice was filled with impressive enthusiasm.
He turned his hand over hers again, grasping it once more. "MJ..." he started, his voice left behind.
She met his eyes, awaiting ridicule or more rejection. Anything but what he had actually said.
"I'm glad..." he paused, searching his thoughts for the right words. He didn't wanna screw this up again. " ... glad I can share these things with you. I'm glad its you I can talk to about all this. Knowing I have someone I can share my thoughts and feelings with, my fears and doubts about myself with ... is gonna make what I do a lot easier..."
She stared at him, her emerald eyes filled with astonishment for him once again. She smiled brightly.
Suddenly, holding his hand wasn't enough for her and she needed so desperately to be closer to him. She slid around the counter, hand still gripped in his. "Tiger..." she whispered to him, looking up at him. That's all she said as she slipped her arms around his waist and planted her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent deeply. Her heart nearly burst when his arms came down around her and squeezed her to him. They'd grown one step closer to each other in that moment.
When she let go of him, she looked up searching his gorgeous eyes for the sign that this was ok, that they were ok. She tilted her head, wondering what the answer was.
He noticed the questioning look she was giving in her eyes. He owed her an explanation about before, but he was afraid to ruin the moment. He pulled her at arms length and gripped her wrists in his hands gently. "MJ ... about before..."
She looked down, afraid of what she might here. "Look, Pete ... you don't owe me any more of an explanation than I owed you about what happened with Spider-Man..."
"'Cept I know what happened with Spidey. MJ, please just listen for a minute..." he asked more than demanded.
"It's ok Peter..." she shook his hands off, going to her eggs and bread. "Really..."
"Mary Jane..." he stalked over, and turned her into his arms again. Part of him screamed out, *Tell her she's the only one you could ever love! Tell her she's your everything! Tell her you want to be with her!* But of course, he settled for less. "It's not like what you think."
"And what do I think Pete?" she raised a brow.
"That Amber is more than a friend. That when I told you I couldn't be with you because of Spidey that it was just an excuse..."
"You really are smart Peter..." she tsked. Then she did it. She put on her actress face and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at him with defiance in her green eyes. "I don't care who you are interested in dating."
It was Peter's turn to raise his eyebrows at her. Whether she was being truthful or not, was hard to tell. He had a hunch she was full of it. He'd seen that expression on her face before. He'd seen it when she looked at Flash, or Harry, trying to pretend what they said to her deep down didn't matter, that it didn't hurt. "All the same..." he said softly. "I wanna explain. She's new and I wanted to help her out. You know how Jameson is, and she's a freelancer. Being one, I know where she's coming from. So, when Jameson got on her about her story, I cheered her up. That's all. I was being polite. I can't help whether or not she liked me. She asked me to lunch in a friendly manner..."
"Cutie?" she threw at him.
He blushed. "Well, having women attracted to me is all new for me, MJ. Remember, school nerd here?" he raised his hand as if he were back in high school answering a question. And of course he had always had the answers back then. "I was so worried about fighting with you that I kinda just answered 'uh huh' to all her questions."
MJ crossed her arms, seeming unconvinced.
"She's just a nice girl that's all! She asked me to lunch to read some of her work." He informed. "I told you. I can't be with anyone. Spider-Man's not allowed that luxury. It's too unfair and too dangerous."
"That all that's stopping you?" she asked, cracking open the eggs into the frying pan. "Sunny side up?"
"No ... nothing's stopping me. I mean, I don't wanna be anything more than friends with her...."
"How can you be sure? She's new you said?"
"Because I'm sure," *Because it's you I love. It's you I wanna be with.* "Yeah to the eggs."
"So what if you weren't Spider-Man?" she cracked open more eggs.
"Than you wouldn't be here with me right now, and I'd still be a geeky nerd with big glasses and I'd be working for Doc Connors and I'd never have met Amber. You'd never have fallen in love with Spider-Man or me and..." he trailed off. *Uncle Ben would still be alive.* Aside from MJ loving him, he'd trade it all in for Uncle Ben to be alive.
He'd also still be desperately in love with a woman he could never have.
That never changed.
How bitterly ironic.
"What about you? I'd bet you'd still be with Harry if it weren't for Spidey..." he grasped her arm, turning her attention away from cooking.
MJ snorted. "No ... one meeting with Norman Osborn is enough to kill you."
Peter shook his head. *How right you are.*
"Besides..." she whipped around out of his grasp, finding the toaster. "I still would've fallen in love with you. Eventually..." she replied sharply.
"You think so?"
"Don't you believe in fate, Peter?" she slipped the toast into the toaster.
"I've seen too much to believe in anything but making what you can of life and taking each decision as it comes to you. Not depending on fate..." he answered.
"So why do you depend on fate to bring us together now. Make the most of what you can, Tiger ... with me ... with us..." she pleaded.
He sighed, walking right into her trap. *Smarter than you think MJ.* "I am, MJ. You're my friend, we're friends. " he walked over to the coffee pot.
"Yeah ... yeah we are..." she answered, flipping the eggs. "Just like you and Amber."
He set the coffee pot down hard after pouring a mug full. "Ok, fine! Will it make you happy if you came with us? So you can see Amber's not interested in me? You can come along."
*Gee thanks Pete.* she muttered to herself. Then ... this could be just what she needed to get over that annoying girl's phone call or see if she was right about her. "Good, it'll be fun. I'll bring some of my modeling photos. We can all swap..." she teased.
"Mary Jane..."
"I mean it. I'd like to come... Hey you never know. We may just turn out to be friends," MJ winked flipping their eggs onto a plate.
Peter groaned, wondering what he'd gotten himself into.
"Breakfast is served, Tiger," she put a plate of eggs and toast in front of him.
He sighed, stomach rumbling. He decided to give up the argument. "A guy could get used to this ya know?" he lifted his mug to sip. But something warned him to pause.
Not spider sense but common sense.
"A gal would love to wake up every morning and get you used to this...and other things..." she flirted.
"MJ, you vixen you..." he put his cup down. "Didn't catch me this time."
"Next time Tiger ... there's always a next time." She warned.
*****
Its been so long, but you guys waited long enough, disclaimers and AN's can be find on the first chapter, so if you're new to this hullabaloo go there (and why the heck are you starting with the latest chapter?) *g* and you'll find all the info you seek.
In case you forgot, *words* are thoughts, and the rest is pretty simple... LOL
The song to start off this chapter is my favorite for MJ/P and I waited and waited for the right chapter to use it in and considering how the chapter ends, I thought it fit here, but it really is the perfect song to describe MJ's feelings for her man. *g*
Without further ado...
Chapter 8: Tested and Still Standing...
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
could make me love you less
I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
The first thing he became aware of was the combined scents of perfume and coffee. He sniffed again, the mixed aroma tingling his nose. He opened an eye and peered out into the light of morning that filled the room. The blanket pulled up to his neck was permeated with the perfumed aroma he smelt. It caused him to sigh softly. It only brought one thought to mind; MJ...
His mind grew foggy trying to remember the night's events and why the smell of MJ's perfume was all over his blanket. He opened both eyes, remembering the snow that stranded her there and decorating, then falling asleep holding her and finally ... the nightmare. He sat up slowly, disorientated, trying to piece together what was real and what wasn't.
He turned his head, searching for her. He let out a sigh of relief when he caught her shadowed figure by the windows. She sat in one of the dining chairs, knees tucked up and her arms wrapped around them. A cup of steaming coffee was grasped in her tiny hands. The winter morning light made her fiery red hair look deep burgundy with highlights of gold where the sun peaked through a cloud.
She was an angel.
Or the kind of person who resembled an angel; one who was still living and breathing.
Thank you very much.
And he'd like to keep it that way.
His stomach rumbled and his mouth watered for the taste of coffee. He wondered for a moment when he'd become such a caffeine addict then tossed the thought and the blanket aside and stood, stretching. He looked over at her, wondering what he would say to her after their night together. He felt a rush of nostalgia at the thought of being tongue-tied around her.
Not the good kind of nostalgia either.
It came complete with every emotion the nerdy Peter Parker felt around this angel of his. He felt his heart pound wildly and his vocal cords constrict, if that was at all possible. His palms began to sweat and his breathing came to a halt. Amazing what effect this girl had over him. A super-hero shaking in his tights; its not a pretty picture. Still, he'd come a long way since then ... yes, causing actual sentences to make sense when he spoke to her was improvement.
With that, he stepped closer to her. He came to stand over her, wanting so much to reach out and stroke her fiery red hair. *Be brave Parker...* He licked his lips and his mouth opened. He made a soft squeak, not audible to the ear.
MJ set her mug down on the heater. She sighed, letting out a cough as his attempt to speak came out.
He cursed the butterflies in his stomach and took a shaky breath. *Knock it off Peter ... just cuz she spent the night doesn't mean anything has to be different.* "Hey MJ..." he whispered, finally finding the courage.
She gasped, turning quickly. "Peter!!" she clutched her chest. "Holy!!! You are as sneaky as a spider...geez...." she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. "What's the big idea?!" she punched his arm.
"Sorry," he blushed sheepishly. "Didn't mean to-"
Her eyes widened quickly as if a thought just came to mind.
She turned from him quickly, running her hands through her hair. "I thought you were still asleep."
"Just woke up," he informed, watching her rake her fingers through those gorgeous locks. He sighed in envy.
"Uhh... coffee's fresh and... I was gonna make some breakfast, but much like the movies, your 'bachelor pad' has no food that's still edible..." she tucked strands behind her ears.
"Ok," he replied simply. "Coffee 's good..." he smiled. She was staring out the window, hands still going through her hair over and over. He cocked his head, studying her. "MJ? You ok?"
"Yeah, fine," she answered.
He put a hand on her shoulder, worried. "Are you sure?" he turned her shoulder, hoping she'd look at him.
"Peter, yeah..." she wouldn't budge.
"Hey..." he kneeled beside her, all thoughts of being afraid to talk to her flew out the window with concern for her well being. "MJ..."
"I just... I-I didn't put my make up on and stuff, don't look at me," she stammered and turned her face further from him.
"Oh, MJ ... you don't have to..."
"Really... I'm not quite the pretty face in the morning... I-"
"Mary Jane, you're gorgeous any time of the day..." he spoke before his mind could argue with him about it.
She chuckled sardonically. "A compliment from Peter Parker. Must be my lucky day."
He wasn't lost on her sarcasm. Confused by it, yes. Women were the strangest creatures on earth. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"
She sighed, turning to him finally. "Nothing, Pete. I'm sorry." She was genuine. His own hair stuck up in strands wildly, his blue eyes filled with sleep. Even mussed up, he was just as handsome, if not more. There was a definite cute factor there.
He decided right then and there, she really was beyond gorgeous. "Ok..." he let it go. "Thanks for making coffee..." he was toying with a strand of her hair before he knew it.
"No problem..." she smiled. "Snow stopped falling." She informed distracted by his finger tips twirling the ends of her locks. She was afraid to speak or move, afraid he would stop. She smiled, wondering if he even knew the scarlet strands were wrapped around his finger. "Looks like you were right on the mark. They said it was a total of 6 feet. I've never seen Manhattan at such a stand still. Said it could take most of the day to get the streets and sidewalk cleaned."
He let the strand untwirl from his grasp and gave her a small smile, looking apologetic. He stood, walking to the kitchen to get that cup of coffee he woke aching for. He let out a final yawn, ingesting her information. "Maybe Spider-Man will get a day off then."
She huffed. "I think even Enrique is taking the day off. Or so I hope, or 'm out a job...."
"Do you wanna give a call? I could try and you know..." he paused. "...web sling you over there..." he offered, pouring a cup.
"Nah..." she stood, grabbing her mug. "One thing I know about Enrique that 'm sure of, snow and Enrique don't mix. He'll keep the diner closed, especially if there's no money to be made." She set her mug down next to his.
Peter refilled her mug. He silently thanked the stars that she didn't have to go. He wanted to keep her here as long as he could. Despite the warning in his brain, his heart would not allow the message to take heed.
"Maybe you can take me home though..." she interrupted his thoughts. "I don't wanna be in your way..."
"Don't be silly! What am I gonna do here all by myself anyway?" Peter sipped the hot coffee.
"I dunno..." she traced her finger around the rim of her mug. "What'd ya plan to do with me here?" she raised a shaped brow delicately, her voice full of suggestion.
Peter coughed, managing to swallow his coffee this time. "MJ..." he choked. "You have a bad habit of saying the darndest things when there's hot coffee involved!"
She chuckled. "I do, don't I? Sorry..." she sipped her coffee.
"So how are you at chess?" Peter asked.
She raised a brow at him again, this time more menacing. "If that's your idea of a good time, I may have to take back what I said about always having a geek around as of the good..."
He chuckled, dimples showing. "Checkers?"
She groaned. "Paint drying on the wall? Counting the molecules floating around the air?"
"Point taken," he laughed, hands raised in defense. "I guess my humor isn't as funny without the costume..."
She shook her head with a teasing smile. "You just haven't woken up yet..."
"I hope, heaven forbid I lose my charming wit. I'd be lost without it..." he rolled his eyes.
"You'd still be a pretty face," she shrugged. "Speaking of..." she slipped away from the counter. "I'm gonna go put mine on, and see if my clothes are dry."
"You already have a pretty face!" he called as she headed upstairs.
"Thanks, Tiger..." she stopped on the steps to smile at him.
Her eyes met his and they locked each other in a silent look, that spoke volumes. She smiled softly, heart pounding at the sparkle of his bright blue eyes, staring up at her, and that boyish smile she'd come to cherish.
That smile that was privately reserved for her eyes only. Little did she know, it was truly for her. The one that said all the things he couldn't or wouldn't say to her.
Then, the most god awful noise filled the room.
The phone rang.
"Wow, almost forgot what that was like..." Peter cracked as he walked over to pick up, but the answering machine got it first. "Probably just Aunt May...."
MJ continued back up the stairs.
"Hey, you've reached Peter and Harry ... we're busy at the moment, leave us a message and we'll get back to ya!" the machine played.
"Peter?" a female voice, much too young to be Aunt May spoke.
MJ turned back at the top of the stairs.
"It's Amber. How are you? I guess you're sleeping, cuz there's no way you're out in the snow. Right?" she paused, a sweet chuckle filling the room. "Anyway, just wanted to call and say hi. Hope we could make that lunch date happen soon. Say, after the snow enables life to go on living?" she chuckled sweetly again.
It made MJ sick.
Peter stared at the machine like it was a foreign object.
"Well, if you get this message, give a call back. Thanks for being so sweet to me! You always know just what to say to put a smile on my face. Number's 989-0016. Hope to hear from you soon! Bye cutie!"
Then the monotone voice of the answering machine said there was one new message.
MJ's heart pounded fearfully at the top of the stairs. She stared down at him, eyes begging him to explain this away.
Peter fell nauseous, and his stomach rolled. He was grateful he hadn't eaten anything yet. He felt his spider sense tingle and he knew there was no kind of physical danger but he could feel MJ's eyes blazing into him and he was sure her hard stare was what caused it to go off. He swallowed hard, wishing this didn't seem as it appeared. A million ideas on what to say rushed to his mind at once making his temples pound.
He brushed back his hair nervously. "She's new at the Bugle..." he said weakly. *Great start, Pete.*
MJ continued to stare, wanting more. There had to be a proper explanation. Peter would not keep her at bay while some floozy blonde threw herself at him. And yes, she could tell she was blonde just from her voice. It was a talent she acquired working in the acting industry.
"She ... uh ... she's a freelance writer..." he continued. "I saved her the other night. Well, she doesn't know it was me obviously." He chuckled, nervously. "I met her in the elevator and we got to talking," he added, still seeing her eyes filled with accusation. "She's a friend." He finished lamely.
MJ nodded mutely. *Just a friend, like you are, MJ. Nothing more. He can't be with anyone. He told you that. Because of Spider-Man. If he wanted to be with someone it was you, MJ. He held you last night, MJ. He held you all night, and he's with you now, MJ.* her heart told, soothing the blow of reality. *He also didn't lay a hand on you all night. He held you that close and didn't even kiss you. He's not interested in you, MJ. Get over it. You sat there all morning brooding about it at the window. Just let it go. Peter Parker is interested in someone else.* her mind scolded. She turned quickly and headed to the bathroom, wanting to hide her tears.
Peter sighed heavily. He sunk into a chair and buried his head in his hands. He didn't need spider powers to know she was upset. He looked heavenward, pleading for a break. First, no one wanted scrawny, nerdy, Peter Parker. Now, MJ not only falls in love with nerdy, geek Peter Parker, who he wished she'd love all his life, but with his alter ego as well. Now, he couldn't love her in return because of who he'd become. And to top it off, Amber was interested in him as well. And not even Spider-Man! Just Peter! What were the odds?! "Women..." he muttered.
MJ breathed heavily, taking in whooshes of air. "Stay calm, MJ..." she whispered to herself. "No reason to get upset." But she wasn't just upset. She was a multitude of emotions at the moment: heated, angered, pissed off, hurt, betrayed, heartbroken, confused. But mostly pissed, and anything but calm. She clenched her fists, staring at herself in the mirror. She wanted to pound something into oblivion and that something just happened to be the object of her affection. "Humph..." she huffed. Just another emotion. She wanted to shout out her frustrations, pound out her anger and hurt, and cry out her sense of betrayal and heart ache.
She did none.
She just changed her clothes and tried to put on her happy girl, party face along with her makeup. Pretending in front of Peter was something she stopped doing a long time ago. It was apparent she shouldn't have ever wore her heart on her sleeve around him. And as much as she liked to believe that she would stop, something told her she couldn't.
Braving a look in the mirror she blessed the wonders of make-up, amazed how it didn't even look as if she cried. She straightened the hem of her hooded teal sweatshirt, and pulled it over the waistband of Peter's sweat pants. Her jeans were totaled in her fall. She huffed, looking at the giant holes in the knees of the denim. They were her favorite pair too.
It just wasn't her day.
She stuffed the jeans into one of her shopping bags and took a deep breath. Just how she was she to pretend that she wasn't upset about his new 'friend'? "Well, you are an actress, MJ." She said to the mirror. "Just pretend it doesn't matter." She put on a smile and tested its veracity. "Not too bad..." she shrugged and headed out the bathroom door.
She peered down the stair case looking for a sign of Peter. To her surprise she couldn't see him. She took a few steps down, looking into the living room but no sign there either. She assumed he was in his room, changing or something. *Or he left you all alone in the middle of a snow storm in his apartment to go play hero with Amber...*
"Ugh, MJ ... get a grip..." she whispered to herself, taking the last step. She walked into the living room and turned the TV on, hoping for a weather report.
Then, she turned for the kitchen to find something to satisfy her complaining stomach. At least there was something she could do about that. She searched the fridge for a second time this morning.
"And looks like this weather is about to let up finally. We had a total of six feet, and two quarters of an inch. But the temperature is going to rise into the low 50's this afternoon, making the snow plower's jobs just a bit easier. Look for major roadways in Manhattan to be cleared by early evening, and those out of the city about the same time. I'll be back with your holiday and seven day outlook just a little later on. Back to you now, Sue," the TV played.
MJ found some eggs buried in the back of the fridge, and to her surprise bread that wasn't stale. So eggs and toast it was.
"This dismal weather hasn't seem to stop the crime in the city. There were over ten attacks and two shootouts reported last night in Manhattan alone. In Queens, an elderly couple were robbed in their own house and early reports of a serial rapist striking again in a newlywed's home have surfaced. Reports are the woman's husband, an ER doctor for Jamaica Hospital, was on call last night leaving his new bride home alone. The attacker broke in from a built up snow bank by the window and raped the young woman at knifepoint. We'll have a sketch and a phone number you can call with any information leading to his arrest after this commercial break...."
MJ turned to the TV frowning. "Guess criminals never take a night off. What a horrible thing to happen ... and so close to the holidays." She shook her head in disgust and gasped when she noticed Peter, freshly changed, standing on the staircase with his eyes glued to the TV. He was frowning deeply and his usually big, bright blue eyes were dull and filled with guilt and sorrow.
MJ felt her anger with him evaporate at his 'lost little boy' expression. There was no way to stay angry with him when she could see the guilt eating him up from the inside out. She had to help him.
"I could've stopped that..." he shook his head glumly.
"Not in Queens, no you couldn't have. Not in this weather, Peter. You may be a super-hero but you're not invincible...." MJ looked sympathetic.
"I'm not a super-hero Mary Jane..." he said morosely. "I'm not even a hero."
"You are too, Peter and don't you dare say differently. You saved my life more times than I can probably count on one hand. You saved tons of children, stopped numerous bank robbers, muggers, rapists, defeated the Green Goblin and you do it even with that jerk, Jonah Jameson bad mouthing you every step of the way. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for everything that happens in this city!" she pointed a finger at him vigorously. "You can't stop every crime and every thing that happens, its physically impossible ... not to mention the emotional wreck you're gonna make yourself."
"I have to try though," he came down the rest of the way, coming to stand on the other side of the kitchen counter.
"That's all you can do, Pete. Try. But you can't feel guilty over this...." MJ shook her head in disapproval. "It's not fair to you, or healthy."
"With great power come great responsibility..." he mumbled, looking miserable.
"Oh Peter, who told you such-"
"Uncle Ben, and he was right! You don't know what its like to have these powers and use them the wrong way...." Peter snapped.
"Whoa Tiger..." she raised her hands in defense. "I was gonna agree with it, no need to rip my head off, ok? Your uncle was right, but you're not responsible for every single person in NY or responsible for stopping every single crime in NY." She put a hand over his on the table. "You do what you can and the people respect and love you for it. They don't expect you to stop every crime, you're still human."
Peter felt a rush of warmth at her touch. He sighed, wishing he could forget what he heard on the news and not feel like it was his fault. Not everyone felt as she said, but it was the ones that did that counted. Still, he knew he'd chew himself up for it worse than any other could.
"Tiger, there are bad, crazy people out there in this world, and even sometimes super-heroes are defenseless against them. You're not the one out there attacking people, you're helping. There's only so much even Spider-Man can do..." she squeezed his soft skin. "You can't be Spider-Man 24 hours a day. You need a place and family to call home and time that's yours alone too. You'll go insane if you don't. Think about that..." she paused, finding his sapphire eyes. "What good will you be if you're not happy and healthy? You'll be reckless and do something stupid and dangerous..." she paused, catching her voice. "There are people who ... care ... and ... love you and don't wanna see you get hurt or worse..."
He shrugged, giving just a bit. "I guess so ... but..."
"Anh ah. No buts. You know 'm right," she paused, mulling over whether to continue with what she thought. She found his eyes studying her for further wisdom so she cleared her throat and continued. "Which is why 'm glad you told me the truth. You need someone to share this with. You can't keep all these emotions bottled up inside you like that. You need to talk about your feelings and what happens out there. I don't know how you went this long without telling someone. And as much as you may wanna protect me from this, I wanna be here for you. I know you won't tell me everything, and I wish you would. I wish you would tell me what makes you feel so guilty all the time. What makes you so sad and so sure you'll lose me because of who you are. I wanna know so I can help. But, I'll understand and wait till you're ready, if ever, to tell me everything. Till then, I wanna help you as much as I can, help you feel less guilty and sad." She poured her heart out, after just promising her reflection scant minutes ago she'd never do it again. Her heart belonged to him whether he'd have her or not. There was no escaping it.
"I wanna be your fan club president..." she teased, bringing a small smile to both their faces. With a reassuring squeeze of his hand, she took a deep breath. "I'll stand by you, Tiger. No matter what."
Peter closed his eyes, waiting for the tears building in his eyes to subside. He didn't want to cry in front of her. He didn't want her to know how much she'd touched base on, how close she came to reaching inside his being and touching every part of himself that he buried in a dark hole. He wished once again, for the millionth time that he could change things. He wished he could tell her just how responsible he was for his own uncle's death, and how responsible he felt for Norman Osborn's death. Not to mention feeling the great weight of protecting Aunt May and her from danger. It would only maximize if she became his lover. At least as just a friend, there was a way to keep her safe.
He instantly felt guilty all over again at her show of support. After what had just happened earlier with his answering machine, he was amazed at how selfless she was acting. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been for telling her about Amber so detrimentally. He could've found a better way to tell her, a way that wouldn't make her assume the worst. If he could just tell her that it was she he loved, and there could never be anyone else for him...
He turned his palm over, taking the hand she cupped his with, into his grasp and his thumb traced her soft skin. He checked her wounds and saw they were healing quickly. They were just minor scrapes, thank the heavens. After attempting to sidestep her speech, distracting himself with her injures, he sighed softly, knowing he'd accept her proposal to be there for him. And while he couldn't tell her everything, the thought that she'd wait to hear them lent him some comfort.
He smiled as his eyes fell on her smaller hand entwined with his. It felt so right to be holding her hand. His fingers brushed her knuckles playfully. His grin grew wider when she giggled from his ministrations with his fingertips. He chuckled softly, realizing his prickly fingertips were sticking to her skin, causing a tickling sensation for her. "Sorry ... all these months and I still can't control my powers sometimes."
She examined his digits with curiosity, eyes wide with astonishment. "Does it hurt?"
"Nah, it feels more like shocks of static electricity when they stick..." he shook his head.
She grinned. "Cool..." her voice was filled with impressive enthusiasm.
He turned his hand over hers again, grasping it once more. "MJ..." he started, his voice left behind.
She met his eyes, awaiting ridicule or more rejection. Anything but what he had actually said.
"I'm glad..." he paused, searching his thoughts for the right words. He didn't wanna screw this up again. " ... glad I can share these things with you. I'm glad its you I can talk to about all this. Knowing I have someone I can share my thoughts and feelings with, my fears and doubts about myself with ... is gonna make what I do a lot easier..."
She stared at him, her emerald eyes filled with astonishment for him once again. She smiled brightly.
Suddenly, holding his hand wasn't enough for her and she needed so desperately to be closer to him. She slid around the counter, hand still gripped in his. "Tiger..." she whispered to him, looking up at him. That's all she said as she slipped her arms around his waist and planted her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent deeply. Her heart nearly burst when his arms came down around her and squeezed her to him. They'd grown one step closer to each other in that moment.
When she let go of him, she looked up searching his gorgeous eyes for the sign that this was ok, that they were ok. She tilted her head, wondering what the answer was.
He noticed the questioning look she was giving in her eyes. He owed her an explanation about before, but he was afraid to ruin the moment. He pulled her at arms length and gripped her wrists in his hands gently. "MJ ... about before..."
She looked down, afraid of what she might here. "Look, Pete ... you don't owe me any more of an explanation than I owed you about what happened with Spider-Man..."
"'Cept I know what happened with Spidey. MJ, please just listen for a minute..." he asked more than demanded.
"It's ok Peter..." she shook his hands off, going to her eggs and bread. "Really..."
"Mary Jane..." he stalked over, and turned her into his arms again. Part of him screamed out, *Tell her she's the only one you could ever love! Tell her she's your everything! Tell her you want to be with her!* But of course, he settled for less. "It's not like what you think."
"And what do I think Pete?" she raised a brow.
"That Amber is more than a friend. That when I told you I couldn't be with you because of Spidey that it was just an excuse..."
"You really are smart Peter..." she tsked. Then she did it. She put on her actress face and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at him with defiance in her green eyes. "I don't care who you are interested in dating."
It was Peter's turn to raise his eyebrows at her. Whether she was being truthful or not, was hard to tell. He had a hunch she was full of it. He'd seen that expression on her face before. He'd seen it when she looked at Flash, or Harry, trying to pretend what they said to her deep down didn't matter, that it didn't hurt. "All the same..." he said softly. "I wanna explain. She's new and I wanted to help her out. You know how Jameson is, and she's a freelancer. Being one, I know where she's coming from. So, when Jameson got on her about her story, I cheered her up. That's all. I was being polite. I can't help whether or not she liked me. She asked me to lunch in a friendly manner..."
"Cutie?" she threw at him.
He blushed. "Well, having women attracted to me is all new for me, MJ. Remember, school nerd here?" he raised his hand as if he were back in high school answering a question. And of course he had always had the answers back then. "I was so worried about fighting with you that I kinda just answered 'uh huh' to all her questions."
MJ crossed her arms, seeming unconvinced.
"She's just a nice girl that's all! She asked me to lunch to read some of her work." He informed. "I told you. I can't be with anyone. Spider-Man's not allowed that luxury. It's too unfair and too dangerous."
"That all that's stopping you?" she asked, cracking open the eggs into the frying pan. "Sunny side up?"
"No ... nothing's stopping me. I mean, I don't wanna be anything more than friends with her...."
"How can you be sure? She's new you said?"
"Because I'm sure," *Because it's you I love. It's you I wanna be with.* "Yeah to the eggs."
"So what if you weren't Spider-Man?" she cracked open more eggs.
"Than you wouldn't be here with me right now, and I'd still be a geeky nerd with big glasses and I'd be working for Doc Connors and I'd never have met Amber. You'd never have fallen in love with Spider-Man or me and..." he trailed off. *Uncle Ben would still be alive.* Aside from MJ loving him, he'd trade it all in for Uncle Ben to be alive.
He'd also still be desperately in love with a woman he could never have.
That never changed.
How bitterly ironic.
"What about you? I'd bet you'd still be with Harry if it weren't for Spidey..." he grasped her arm, turning her attention away from cooking.
MJ snorted. "No ... one meeting with Norman Osborn is enough to kill you."
Peter shook his head. *How right you are.*
"Besides..." she whipped around out of his grasp, finding the toaster. "I still would've fallen in love with you. Eventually..." she replied sharply.
"You think so?"
"Don't you believe in fate, Peter?" she slipped the toast into the toaster.
"I've seen too much to believe in anything but making what you can of life and taking each decision as it comes to you. Not depending on fate..." he answered.
"So why do you depend on fate to bring us together now. Make the most of what you can, Tiger ... with me ... with us..." she pleaded.
He sighed, walking right into her trap. *Smarter than you think MJ.* "I am, MJ. You're my friend, we're friends. " he walked over to the coffee pot.
"Yeah ... yeah we are..." she answered, flipping the eggs. "Just like you and Amber."
He set the coffee pot down hard after pouring a mug full. "Ok, fine! Will it make you happy if you came with us? So you can see Amber's not interested in me? You can come along."
*Gee thanks Pete.* she muttered to herself. Then ... this could be just what she needed to get over that annoying girl's phone call or see if she was right about her. "Good, it'll be fun. I'll bring some of my modeling photos. We can all swap..." she teased.
"Mary Jane..."
"I mean it. I'd like to come... Hey you never know. We may just turn out to be friends," MJ winked flipping their eggs onto a plate.
Peter groaned, wondering what he'd gotten himself into.
"Breakfast is served, Tiger," she put a plate of eggs and toast in front of him.
He sighed, stomach rumbling. He decided to give up the argument. "A guy could get used to this ya know?" he lifted his mug to sip. But something warned him to pause.
Not spider sense but common sense.
"A gal would love to wake up every morning and get you used to this...and other things..." she flirted.
"MJ, you vixen you..." he put his cup down. "Didn't catch me this time."
"Next time Tiger ... there's always a next time." She warned.
*****
