This ending sucks, and kills the story over all for me so its getting redone. I'll keep this here in case anyone actually liked this one.
Breaking the Sky: " Epilog "
Amity park hospital was surrounded by the time the Saturdays airship entered the area. Doc set the auto pilot for a wide orbit around the place waiting for his wife to get back with the jet. They'd founded it in what used to be the park, and they hadn't seen anything about where Zak might be or if their son was OK.
He calmly dialed his Cellphone trying to get though to the Fentons, but the service was still down. Drew didn't like Jack and Maddie but he knew from his college days that eccentric as they where only two people that ever got an A in Doctor Benton Quests physics class Solomon "boy genius" Saturday and Jack Fenton.
" Anything Doc? "
He jumped at the sound of his wife's voice.
" Oh, Drew, no all the lines are down, and everything else is being blocked by Global Justice. I tried calling Jack I can see that RV of his in the parking lot. "
She was way to calm, and that made him worry.
" Right now we are two parents looking for our kid, lets just walk in. If Beeman got to him before now we'll . . ."
Doc tried to sound re assuring.
" He is fine, Fiskerton is fine, we are going to go down there hug our son, and ground him until he's 18. "
They left the ship in the parking lot and walked past to girls playing with some kind of electronic racket ball tossing it against the side of a dumpster. It made an odd sound every time it hit.
" Ship! "
" And Julie you know the worst thing? It's not that he didn't notice when she was all over him in my body, it's that little Gwen shows up and he drops everything because she's asking! Do you ever get the feeling that he's only kissing you because Gwen's off limits? "
" Ship! "
" Umm Elena . .no and . . I wouldn't know. . . "
" Ship! "
Drew spoke while they walked.
" That is why we home school. "
" We home school because you said normal french teachers make students speak french like an American. "
She cracked a nervous smile and he relaxed a bit. Drew could be over protective, and he was worried she might snap. He was glad she was calming down a bit.
They got to the edge of the security line, and say Epsilon and Francis walked out.
" Doctors Saturday, greetings. Francis and I where just leaving, we have been ordered to turn over command to Providence. "
Drew was in the mans face before Doc could blink, " stupid " he though she was walking on his blind side the whole time.
" Where IS ZAK? "
" Francis? "
The boy spoke in that odd voice of his as he checked a PDA.
" He was not in the ER when I did my sweep, and their where not . . deaths. My information gathering indicates he will be in the area of room 22c Fenton D. Female age 12. "
Drew hung her head.
" The clone girl you did the gene scan on for Jack? "
Francis started typing and Drew made a face.
" Oops. Umm See you later I guess."
They moved on, and saw Max Tennyson screaming at someone in the lobby.
" You mean to tell me some one called child protective services about my grand kids? "
Doc's eyes met Drew's.
" Arthur? "
" Oh yea I'll call the lawyer when the phones are back on. "
Moving past the front desk they past a pair of red haired girls sitting on either side of a boy in a green jacket looking confused.
" You know Gwen this kind of thing could just be the stress or trauma. "
" No Jazz I don't think this normal. Ben try to remember. "
" Gwen what are talking about and where the heck am I? "
A pale thin girl with a large bandage over her right hand was talking to a kid in a red beret across the hall.
" Is the phone working yet Tucker? "
" No Sam, but I've got a weak internet signal I think someones got a satellite up link ion the parking lot or something. "
Doc raised an eye brow, as that was probably HIS up link and some kind was getting into it with an iphone.
" Good enough, remember when you guys tried to get me to play Dungeons and Dragons? Well give me that phone and watch me cast summon lawyer. "
He was about to say something when a white haired girl in a hospital gown flew through him like a ghost.
" NO NO NO NEEDLES I'M FINE REALLY ! "
Before he could talk another one a boy in a black jumpsuit came barrleing down the hall.
"Danni get back here now! "
He grabbed her by the hand and lead her back into a room. Doc picked up on his friends voice.
" HAHA a lot of spunk in that one! It's OK you get used to tetanus shots after a while ! "
They both picked up on Fiskerton's trademarked version of English in the same room.
" That's right Frenchmen it over quick and then your fine! "
Doc poked his head in and say Fisk sitting net to the girls bed as she was made to land back on it. He poked his head in and tried to be polite.
" That you in there Jack? "
Fenton stood up and waved like he was at the carnival.
" Solomon! Get in here you ! Come for the post fight round up! Frenchie here was telling me how well your boy did you should be proud! "
Drew closed her eyes and tried to forget the day they brought Fisk over the Fentons for the first time and Jack tried to tell his kids he was an adopted very hairy french kid.
" Fiskerton you have some explaining to do, but first where is your brother? "
He muttered something about being in the bathroom a while and Drew gave Doc a look he spoke first trying to keep her from going off.
" Honey why don't you stay here with Fisk while I round up Zak? Maybe get some details? "
He knew he was going to sleep on the couch tonight, and he needed to remember he needed a foldout couch on the airship for times like these.
As he left he could hear the girl talking.
" You're Zak's Mom . . he saved my life . . ."
Doc kept moving in the direction of the bathrooms, and noticed they where right next to a staircase. Peeking in the bathroom and he saw a blond haired spitting blood into a sink with a girl standing behind him.
" Ron let the doctors take a look. "
" I'll be fine KP I don't worry about it! "
The kid passed out, and hit the floor. Doc stepped in.
" Need a hand with that? "
" Please, he's pretty used to head trauma but today I think he earned a concussion. "
Noticing the girl had a Global Justice interns badge on her jacket like it would help in the mess Doc took a stab in the dark. He pulled a scanner from his belt, and gave the kid a look.
" Your friend has . . had a cracked skull NOW he has a concussion. Let I'm not an expert in post human physiology but I'd say he needs some rest, and observation. "
" Thank you so much, he's . . always trying TO hard. I'm Kim. "
" Doctor Solomon Saturday. "
Doc picked the teen up like a baby, and walked him out to the nurses station.
" He passed out, it looks like a concussion. "
The nurses went to work, and Doc sat down with the Kim.
" Listen I'm trying to find my son in all this mess. About ye-ay tall star shaped white tuck of hair, have you seen him? "
Kim closed her eyes for a long minute before speaking.
" Yea I have, and listen. I'm here totally unprepared because GJ couldn't get anything else in fast enough, and then got covered in red tape between the Plumbers and Providence. I have to write a report on all of this and I have to put Zak's name in it as a . . .maybe future problem. He's upstairs right now with a guy name Levin, and he is not only the one that hurt Ron, but a grade A bad guy. He threatened my brothers and my Dad back home once. The local bad guys won't work with him because of it. If he's your son, go and get him away from Kevin. "
" Thank you. "
Doc held his breath as he walked up stairs. " That was a girl, 18 at most things are hardly ever that black and white. " he thought.
Reaching the top he heard something that made his heart stop.
" Greetings and bienvenue! "
Doc kicked the door in, and turned his battle glove up to full. Zak was standing at the edge of the roof with guy that looked like he was made of wood metal and stone.
" . . . totally just screwing with your head man! Oh I'm guessing thats your Dad?"
" Yea yea it is Sorry I guess my Argost Impression was a little TO good. "
Doc turned the glove down as he walked over.
" You stole my jet, you worried my wife, and dragged you brother a long for the ride. . . but I have it on good authority you saved lives today so I'm going to give you five minutes to explain once we get back to air ship. "
Kevin cleared his throat, and pulled out his plumbers badge.
" Ahem. If it matters at all Doctor Saturday I did personally see Zak save a girl from getting mauled today. "
The pulled out a business card, and handed it to Zak.
" I've got to check on a Plumber that took a big hit today. My boss is Max Tennyson if it matters at all. Email me if you need me kid. Later."
He left the roof, and Doc took a minute to think, Zak spoke.
" I know I must be in pretty deep now hu? "
Doc put his hand on his sons shoulder.
" On the airship lets go son. "
The walked down stairs, and Zak stopped.
" I know I'm in trouble right now, but I've got to ask before all this Kur business did it feel good being around the other Secret scientists? I mean most people would think what you do is crazy. "
" I guess whats this about Zak? "
" Dad I woke up one day and I was Kur here today no one cared. Kevin's half alien, and well remember Danny Fenton? He's got a part time job as a ghost fighting hero complete with powers. Another one has a gizmo that turns him into million different things, and he's sitting in the lobby missing a month of his memories because the guy that gave it to him deleted them like a bad mp3. I'm not a freak here Dad . . .I blend. "
Doc took a deep breath.
" Zak you are not a freak, you maybe different but that's all. Now lets get back to your mother. "
Post mortum.
Well that's a sequel in the can. First of The Saturdays are in this one because my original idea had Zak going along with Ben and Danny in the original. He kind of got replaced with Danielle so Danny would have more of a reason to be motivated. Shame because I had a nice scene in my head where Drew Saturday more or less kicks clockworks door down something that got a half mention with Gwen's grandma taking her place.
I don't think their will be a part three as this Crisis of infinite umm cartoons I watch I feel got less focused in the end.
All in all I think I got Ben's character right even if he got worse over the course of the story and didn't really learn anything because he forgets in the end. Something that I admit was put in just to have Gwen " run away when she was 16 " because she couldn't handle the idea of it nor really being Ben. I'll have to put that angst into something some time.
Well any and all comments good bad and ugly are welcome.
DD out.
