A/N: Hello again! This is just another note to anyone scanning through that yes, I am indeed alive, and I'd advise anyone who's been following the story to re-read the prologue and chapter one, as they've been reworked (the prologue more-so). Other than that, I'm hoping for chapter 2 by the end of the week!

Thanks to everyone who's been sticking with this. Comments are what fuel my creativity :) With that, Enjoy!

-picimadár

Sorry it's a little confusing, but italics are thoughts as well as stresses.

When You Run Among Shadows

Chapter 1: The Need

September A.C. 200: Sanq Kingdom

Relena lay in her bed, body still, breathing light, and her eyes unfortunately open. I wish my mind would stop! She yelled to herself as she slowly sat up, looking over at her illuminated bedside table. Three o' clock? She cursed time itself as she gently and quietly stepped out of her king-sized bed, walking over to her vanity.

She looked around the room, examining all the glorious displays of what her fame had brought her."They're just… things!" She had argued with Milliardo, "it's not as though I'm ever homeanyways! What do I need this monstrosity of a bed for, if I'm never going to sleep in it!?" She laughed at the foreshadowing in those early conversations. I never do sleep in it, anymore.

"Former 'Queen of the World' indeed," Relena muttered as she examined herself in the large mirror atop her cherry-wood dresser. Dark circles lined her eyes and her cheekbones protruded unflatteringly, making her face appear too thin. The blonde's hair was lank and lackluster. She had cut it to just a few inches below her shoulders in a fit of rage one night, but she had since enjoyed how it felt and kept it that way. Over the years it had developed a little waviness and had lightened, but due to her lack of good health it only carried as much beauty as a messed up shag rug.

Turning away in disgust, Relena crossed her suite, looking out the double doors that led to her balcony. It was the one addition in her massive home she had been totally willing to pay for. Relena stole a quick glance over her shoulder before she turned the gold doorknob, achingly slowly, praying she didn't alert one of her cursed bodyguards who just always had to be awake! Finally the bolt moved out and she swung open the door, the July breeze coming off the ocean and into her room, bathing her in the scent of the sea and swaying the bottom of her nightgown around her ankles.

She stepped out onto the cold marble, the full moon cloaking her in its glow. Slowly walking over to the railing, she rested her elbows on the edge, having ensured it was just the right height for such things before she had even had it installed. Relena stared out at the ocean below, wishing she had been a floor lower so she could feel the spray.

Yet another thing that reminds me of him, she felt her brain commentate as she turned away from the roar, concentrating on a lovely spot on the floor below her. She felt her legs give out slowly. Why did she have to think of that? Of him? Immediately she felt her sanity slipping, her exhausted mind dragging her through the memories of her last few years of life… as if the first time hadn't been enough.

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­­­AC 198- Brussels

Relena stood in front of the entire senate, watching them as they watched her, the room babbling with the voices of all those gathered, including the local and worldwide media, bustling for the best shot of the young Vice Foreign Minister turned full Senate Advisor. Her bodyguards, courtesy of the Preventers, were also noticing exactly the same thing she was: a full senate assembly, and not one, single argument in progress. Practically a miracle, she quipped to herself, continuing the plastic smile as the announcer commended her to the crowd.

The new Foreign Minister and Advisor to the President looked over to her right quickly, catching a young Quatre Winner's eye as he too scanned the crowd. Looking just as uncomfortable as she herself felt, the eighteen year old man simply stood and waited, seemingly begging the powers that be for the practical coronation to end, hoping he could just return to normal life.

But that simply couldn't be, Relena conceded as she turned her eyes back to the President. Quatre's skills and honesty were just what the colonists needed to represent them, and he had never opposed the idea outright, even though he insisted that he was 'inadequate for the position'. Relena had to chuckle a little at that, remembering the way he had stuttered out a feeble refusal when she had approached him about the position. However, after Quatre had gotten over the initial shock, he seemed to have come around to the idea of being a member of the Parliament more and more, glad to fill a position that was desperately needed in order to ensure that the colonists received the fair treatment they deserved.

And so the two of them had both progressed quickly through the ranks of the ESUN parliament, now sitting at nearly equal positions, one Foreign Minister for the Earth and Advisor to the President, one Vice President Presiding for the Colonies. Although there were naysayers to the two very young persons holding such power, everyone who knew anything about them could see they were more than capable of using their power wisely.

Relena looked back to the people gathered by the lavish double doors, immediately recognizing a few faces. The woman kept her face calm, yet schooled as she was, it was difficult. She had immediately known something was wrong when Mingmei walked through the door, especially with her young child in tow. To anyone else they seemed just like the rest of the curious civilian observers, but Relena could see Wufei stiffen as he realized what she had. Something was terribly wrong.

Finally the ceremony had ended, and she had done enough fake smiling and given enough compulsory handshakes that she could finally leave the Brussels Parliamentary Buildings without causing anyone to be piqued with her. She dearly wished to sprint out the door, giving Wufei a meaningful look as she caught up to Mingmei and a few others, who had wisely departed the main entrance and were waiting outside. Being the guard in charge, Wufei quickly told the others to give the Minister her space, assuring everyone that she was in no danger.

And in reality, what he said was totally true. Standing now among these three men and one woman, she was as safe if she'd been with the Gundam Pilots themselves. Almost, anyways.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Relena said furiously, although to any onlookers it would appear as though she were cordially greeting her old friends. Looking over her shoulder, she could see by the looks on her guards' faces that they were less than convinced of her safety.

"Jesus, Princess, nice to see you, too!" The tall blonde to her left had joked, the man to his left also snickering. Relena just stared at them crossly.

"Liam, shut up please," Mingmei said quietly, "And you too, Jesse," she said to the brunette, the two men quickly clamming up. "Nothing horrible has happened, we were mostly here to see the ceremony anyways." Ming said, trying to be as fluid as possible.

Relena quickly saw through her ruse. "You all live on the colonies. There is no reason to merit you coming all the way here to witness something already on the television."

"Oh, this is gonna be good," Liam said, nudging Jesse as they both watched Ming intently. The third, dark man remained silent.

"Look, Relena, we know that Quatre in office is a good thing for most people; after all, we did get him in," Ming nearly whispered, looking very grim, "but there are some colonies who are declaring their offers of 'independence or war' as we speak."

"Yeah," Liam threw in, "so you're not the only one who's on TV."

Relena's eyes grew wide in horror. "They're not serious…. This can't be happening. We haven't even tried to tell them anything about how we expect them to live! How can they be rejecting this idea?" Her cheeks flushed with pent-up fury as she glared at Ming, her eyes turning steely as they demanded answers.

"Relena, it's not like it's every single colony!" Jesse had said, sensing the deeper anger that lay beneath her relatively calm exterior.

"Well then how many!?" Relena was ready to shake someone, her outrage was so great. She had predicted this as a possibility, certainly, they all had. It never meant she wanted it.

"Right now, three," Ming responded calmly, trying to ease the trouble the reality of that statement would bring. "As of this hour, no others have made any move to add to their declarations, but there's something you should know…"

"Then just tell me and get it over with. This already looks suspicious and I do not need you to give the press another reason to hound me," Relena fumed, being much less controlled than she meant to be.

"Well, several of the colonies that have declared independence are those that still have the facilities to mass manufacture weapons," Ming said cautiously, watching Relena's face pale. "Relax," she added quickly, "none of them are active, and we'll know if they are, but we thought you should know now, so that we can all hopefully be prepared."

The group of men and women looked at Relena expectantly, but she quickly shook her head and backed away. "No, no, no. You are making assumptions." The blonde raised her hands in front of her as she continued walking backwards. "You are making assumptions. There is no 'us'. I will not ask you all to put yourselves in danger. We have the Preventers now," she continued, trying to justify herself. "You would be nothing more than some glorified messenger service."

The others now shook their heads. "Relena, that's not what we're asking. We're telling you that ever since we disbanded, things haven't been the same," Jesse said, walking over to her slowly. He lifted a hand and ran his fingers down her cheek. "Relena," he said, his voice low, "we don't know any other way to live. We need direction, we need to be together." He sounded as though he was pleading, but Relena would have none of it.

She pushed his hand aside, and, looking back at the others, said "There is nothing I can do for you. I will not bring back what is dead." With that she began quickly walking back to where Wufei and the others were waiting for her.

"Relena, we need you."

The small voice caused her to turn abruptly, looking at Jesse's forlorn face. She paused, as though something pressed on her heart, but having no other response to offer, she turned again and crossed the grassy lawn.

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They had seen it then, she thought dryly as she continued to stare blindly into the night. They had known what was coming, they wanted to be prepared, and I was foolish enough to stop them! Tears slowly began forming behind her lashes as she let the repressed waves of despair wash over her.

I could have stopped this… I could have kept him from… Relena refused to let herself finish the thought, picking herself up quickly but underestimating the kinks in her legs from sitting on the hard surface. How long was I sitting there? She thought as she felt her legs wobble and force her to sit again at the edge of the balcony. Relena put her head in her hands, feeling exhausted, as she was plagued by another memory…