A/N: Wow! An update when promised! I'm rather proud of myself. I have so many great ideas pouring into my head right now, it's crazy. As of now I have two other stories in the planning stage, but I want to get this one at least half-done before I start another. There will be another update for this story... likely by the end of next week.
Also, short disclaimer: this chapter deals with some more mature material (namely attempted suicide). At this point I'm not going to up the rating just yet, however I may for safety's sake in the next few chapters.
Anyways, please be kind and review! I really appreciate all your comments!
-picimadár
When You Run Among Shadows
Chapter 2: Running
September A.C. 187, North Wales
Relena held her mother's hand tightly. People stared as the pair meandered past, taking their time on the unusually sunny afternoon.
"Mother, I don't want to go to this school. I don't understand why I can't just stay home with my friends," Relena voiced quietly. Although she was used to the lack of privacy that came with a famous father, she felt at ease in the large park. There were few other families out this early in the morning, and the large, sturdy trees were covered in immense amounts of foliage, blocking any potential spectators outside the grounds. All the same, habit kept her voice low; you never knew when someone was listening.
"Relena, your father and I agree that it would be good for you to spend some time exploring the world," her mother responded, "and it would definitely be good for you to spend some time out of~"
"~my father's shadow," Relena finished for her. "You want to make sure I'm not smothered at home with all the reporters around, is that it?" She stopped walking, bright blue eyes piercing with frustration as her mother knelt to look at her.
"Yes, Relena. That's just it. You're..," Mrs. Darlian smiled lovingly before continuing, "you're so special to us, Relena. You're so smart. We want you to be your own girl! We want you to have the opportunity to make your own choices. If you take some time here, you can have these opportunities for growth, without having to worry about what tabloid it will be on the cover of tomorrow.
"Is that fair?" the only mother the youngest Peacecraft had known pressed her hands to the girl's cheeks. "Are we being fair to you, Relena?"
Even at such a young age, Relena was perceptive. She could see the unwillingness to leave in her own mother's eyes, a mother's worry that she was making the wrong choices for her only child. Although she felt very alone as soon as she thought it, she knew her mother was right.
"Yes, mother. This is fair."
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September A.C. 191, Hong Kong
Her feet were propped on the desk when the Headmistress entered. "Ah, Miss Relena. I've heard much about you. It's truly a pleasure to finally meet you," she said with as much tact and grace as possible, extending a hand to the young child.
"I'm sure it would be if my father were here," Relena responded odiously, moving her feet off the oak furniture and ignoring the courteous greeting. Great, another one of these, she had thought, crossing her arms and looking away from the grey-haired woman.
The Headmistress sighed. It was just as the she had been forewarned; the girl would be trouble. "Well, that may be true, Miss Relena, but we are certainly happy to have you stay with us."
The child laughed, her golden curls bobbing around her shoulders. "You must not have read my "rap sheet" yet then, Headmistress?" Relena relaxed back into the large wingback chair, awaiting the punishment and backhanded insults that were the usual following once her file was opened.
"Actually, dear, I had taken the time to read your file over previous to your arrival here in China, and I have to say it is impressive." The woman picked up the rather weighty folder as we walked around her desk. "Public disturbances, food fights, protesting, terrorizing staff… You were never the only student involved, were you, Miss Relena?"
Relena clasped her hands together. "Those students chose to listen to me. They also chose to behave as they wished. Whether or not they happened to work together with any specific plan or goal has yet to be proven," she recited. Her father's lawyer had been very clear about this.
The Headmistress stood and looked at the girl, a look of mixed puzzlement and awe upon her face. "Well, it seems you have a gift for persuasion and leadership, doesn't it Miss Relena?"
The child said nothing, surprised at the lack of sarcasm or disdain in the woman's voice. She balled up her dark dress in her fists, eyes on the floor beneath her feet. Just like my father, she had thought. They send me away to become myself, and I just become more and more like them. It was a fact that had frustrated her to no end. As badly as she wanted to just melt into the background, her own impulsive refusal to be trampled on and ignored kept her in a unique sort of spotlight. Everywhere she went people knew her name, stopped to stare on the street or in the hallways. Every school she attended they had heard of her, heard of the trouble she had caused.
"Miss Relena?" The Headmistress queried, seeing the look of deep thought on her charge's face. Once Relena looked her back in the eye, the woman adjusted her suit jacket and sat down behind her desk. "I have a proposition for you. We have arranged for one of our students to be a sort of.. 'au pair' for you while you're staying at our school. Along with helping you adjust to our local culture and customs, he will also give you a tour of the campus, and it has been arranged that you two share most of your classes together. We believe that this will make your adjustment easier."
Relena simply stared in disbelief. "I don't need a babysitter, Headmistress," she uttered threateningly, her brow furrowing with irritation.
"I'm not suggesting that you do, Miss Relena. All I ask is that you meet this young man, and decide for yourself what to make of it. I can see your gift with people, child. Imagine what could happen if you used it for more than petty food-fights and pranks."
A solid knock sounded on the door, and the woman stood to open it.
"Miss Relena, let me introduce you to Chang Wufei."
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It was such a simple thing, Relena thought, her cheek pressed to her knee as she remained crouched and vulnerable on her balcony. She recalled all the class trips, her times in Brazil, China, Canada, her various school child exploits. Her vision slowly blurred with unshed tears as she realized that every step of the way, there had been a friend, a classmate, someone she knew and loved. Someone had always been there for her, to comfort her, to take the blame, to make the punishments pass more quickly.
The tears started their decent slowly, as they always did; her soul would cry long before her body ever did. Relena slowly collapsed to lay on the pale marble, vulnerable and alone. Her sobs filled the air, but no one heard her.
…I never meant for it to be… like this.
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Trowa sat in the darkened surveillance room, a few corridors away from the Foreign Minister's suite. In the past her guard routines had been much more rigorous, but lately few threats had been made against her person and so few attacks had been made against any other members of the ESUN that her security team had been reduced to a select few members who had requested to stay.
Trowa was one of these. He enjoyed the night shifts especially; the mansion was quiet this late at night, and he enjoyed the privacy and silence. Day shifts were rare for himself personally, but he enjoyed the presence and companionship he had in Relena, as well as the chance to travel.
Relena understood his need to wander, and she was not unlike him in many ways. She, too, preferred her privacy, so on nights such as tonight he tried to intrude as little as possible, watching the video screens and listening as little as necessary to ensure her safety.
Trowa shook his bangs aside casually as he turned back to the wall of monitors, their dim glow the only light in the room. He glanced at each one, noting no changes, until he came to that of the former princess' room. She's not in bed, he thought blandly, not overly concerned. Clicking a few buttons, he shifted the screen to an outdoor camera, and couldn't see her on the balcony.
Where is she? He momentarily panicked, not seeing her face or body above the railing. Shoving himself out of the chair, he picked up his gun and headed into the hall.
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Sobs wracked her small frame as she lay on the unforgiving, unyielding surface. Tears openly streamed down Relena's face as she wrapped her arms around herself, afraid she would burst. Why am I still hurting?! She screamed internally, feeling each ripple of hurt constrict her chest and leave her breathless. Why did you leave me all alone?
Slowly, she stood, looking out over the balcony again, her arms always tight around her. "Look at me," she whispered, staring out at the nothingness, the darkened sky over the ocean. "Look what I've turned into!" she shrieked, suddenly crouching and openly moaning with the pain in her chest, behind her eyes. I can't take this anymore, she admitted, with a surprisingly great sense of release. I can't be what everyone wants of me anymore. I'm doing the world a disservice. I'd be better off--
"I'm losing my mind!" she hissed, loosing her grip on herself and grabbing the railing.
Looking back, Relena couldn't decide if it was to steady herself, or to keep herself from crushing her own ribs. Either way, grabbing the rail gave her a sudden, irrational, and liberating idea, as she stared up at the full, glowing moon.
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Trowa lightly knocked. "Relena? Open the door," he stated simply, hoping she had simply been in the a moment, a dark, haunting thought he wished would disappear seeped into his thoughts, and he suddenly wished beyond all hope that she wasn't there after all.
Swinging open the door quickly, he raised his gun, entering the room with purpose and a practiced precision. Determining no one else was in the room, Trowa reached and flicked on the lights to both the expansive room and the balcony.
Training kept him from utter shock, as it had many times before. He launched himself for the terrace doors, Relena's silhouette outlined by the moonlight, her unlit figure standing atop the banister.
Even the loud wrenching of the doors and their slamming against the walls inside did not snap her from her reverie. Trowa slowly approached her, arms outstretched, afraid to scare her. A fall from her height into the ocean could kill her, he knew. Although she likely does as well. Standing to her right as she balanced atop the railing, he looked up at her face.
Eyes closed, breathing slow, and cheeks flushed, her pastel nightgown billowing around her in the ocean's breeze, Trowa realized she had not looked so beautiful in years. Relena, for the first time in too long, looked alive. How ironic, he considered, that she would try so hard to end what I try to protect.
Her voice broke his reverie. "Why are you not trying to stop me?" She murmured, turning to face him. Her eyes opened, and Trowa absorbed their blank, dull appearance, set in her tear-stained visage.
"I'm giving you the chance to stop this yourself, Minister," he stated clearly, offering her a hand to steady herself. She set her hand into it, as he examined her too-thin and pale skin, a sheen of feverish sweat on its surface. "You need help, Relena. You won't find that at the bottom of the sea."
She wrenched her arm away from him too quickly, gasping as she then waved her arms to steady herself. "I don't need anything!" Relena howled at him, backing away as quickly as she could. Trowa was too agile in comparison, and he quickly grabbed her arm again.
Jerking her around to face him, he took hold of her chin and twisted her face toward him. "Relena," Trowa's voice was steely, "you won't find him at the bottom either."
For a moment, she simply stared at him, unbreathing. He could see so many different emotions flash behind her eyes; anger, sadness, mourning, hatred, and then, one Trowa himself knew best. A deep, inconceivable emptiness.
