Confession

Jacob and Renesmee came through the door at the Cullen home where a room full of smiles greeted them as they entered.

Bella was the first to hug her daughter, followed by Esme and then the others.

Seth greeted Jacob with one of those very manly-type hugs that involved a lot of patting on the back followed up by some sort of ritual looking hand bump. It was clearly unlike the mushy embraces that Renesmee was receiving from each family member, including Tara who gave her the biggest hug of all. She hugged her as though she hadn't seen her friend in a few years rather than only a couple weeks.

Jacob felt slightly left out of the affection circle so he decided to interrupt the endearing moment with his usual humor.

"Mom!" he teased holding his arms out to Bella for hug. His enormous grin quickly disappeared the second her fist hit his shoulder.

"OW! Hey, that hurt!"

"I told you never to call me that!" Though technically Bella was his mother-in-law, she was not ready to accept that title. She just wanted to be Bella to him - his old friend.

"That's gonna leave a mark you know!" he looked at his arm, the blood already started pooling to the area forming a bruise.

"You'll heal," she shrugged with a grin.

"Thanks." He rolled his eyes.

"Where's dad?" Renesmee asked, wondering why her father wasn't there to greet them.

"He's in the music room," Bella answered.

"Why didn't he come to welcome us home?"

Bella put her arm around her daughter's shoulder. "He's a bit anxious having a hard time dealing with you being all grown up so fast."

"Aren't you?"

"Yes…yes I am but at the same time, I'm really happy for you. I guess the two of us just see things differently. I also don't have to worry about accidently reading your mind either. I think he's afraid of what he will hear. He's your dad and he loves you. Why don't you go to him, hmm?"

Renesmee nodded. Seeing that Jacob was preoccupied talking to Seth, she headed down the hallway following the music that echoed through the house.

"So how were things while I was gone?" Jacob asked, not expecting to hear anything out of the ordinary.

"Um..Well not to ruin your return but we actually have a bit of a vampire problem."

"Really?" Jacob liked the sound of that even though for everyone else it was bad news. "What'd I miss?"

"This one's going to be real trouble. He attacked Tara while she was hunting. I tried to stop him but this is one has a really unique power."

"What's that?" Jacob asked curiously.

"He can block our phasing. I literally lost my ability to change when I was near him. So did the others. Apparently he can turn us all into normal humans...temporarily, but long enough that he could easily take us out. It works on the other vampires too."

"You serious?"

"Yeah."

"That really is a problem," Jacob said,

"I know. We need to come up with a plan to get rid of him. We discovered Bella is the only one who can repel his power and she can shield us. Without her we're sitting ducks though."

"That's bad news. We have to hunt together then."

"Yes. That's the idea."

"Well…I'm down for a vampire hunt. But…ah, I actually have some interesting news for you too."

Seth's eye brow rose as Jacob went on to explain his latest discovery of the Bear Tribes of Alaska.

As Renesmee approached the entryway of the music room, she filled her mind with every happy moment she ever had with her father that could think of.

Though Edward never looked up from the keys, a small smile came across his face when he read her thoughts. The memories warmed his un-beating heart.

She strolled in the room and stood by the piano for a moment listening to the melody. It was one of her favorites.

She sat down next to him, watching his fingers glide across the keys with each stroke. She lifted her hands and began to play long with him accenting each note that he struck. Their hands moved simultaneously as they played, perfectly hitting ever note together. When the tune ended, they both finished with a long note on their pinky, holding they key down until the tone faded to silence.

Edward dropped his hands into his lap and looked over at his daughter with one of his endearing smiles. "Welcome home," he said.

"I missed you daddy."

Edward never tired of her calling him that.

He smiled and chuckled to himself. "You know if I couldn't read your mind, I probably wouldn't buy that."

She giggled.

"How come you didn't come see me when I came home?" she frowned.

He sighed. "You know, I was just afraid you'd seem different in some way… all grown-up now…not my little girl anymore. But, I was wrong. You still look like exactly like my little Renesmee."

"I'll always be you're little girl dad."

He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You know what I'd really like?" she said.

"What's that?"

"Some father-daughter time. You could take me on a hunt, just you and I?"
"I'd really like that too," Edward said.

"Jacob seems to be busy with some wolfy business right now anyways. He won't mind."

"Yes… yes he is actually." Edward became more serious as he remembered the most recent events that occurred. "I don't suppose you'd mind too much if your mother accompanied us though."

"Of course not. It will be a family hunt then? Just the three of us?"

"Just the three of us."

Renesmee sensed something was off about his mood. "Is everything ok dad?"

He patted her head like a little kid."Nothing you need to worry about sweetie."

When Edward turned to kiss the top of her head and he spotted Bella peeking in on them. She was leaning on the doorframe with her arms folded, smiling at the two most precious beings in her life right now.

Edward smiled back at her lovingly.

Jacob was eager to share his latest discovery with his father Billy first. He brought Renesmee with him so she could show him the events that took place while they were hunting.

Billy knew all the old stories. The ones about their neighboring tribes; the Makahs and the Hohs whom they had peaceful treaties with, but neither tribe wanted anything to do with the magic they possessed. Billy never knew there were others that also possessed the same magic and used it for the same purposes. He was both fascinated and excited by the news. He called a meeting for the tribe and Jacob shared their experience with them. Afterward, they discussed the recent event involving the new vampire and how they planned to deal with him.

While Seth took care of business, Tara was supposed to be waiting for him at home but decided to sneak out and handle some business of her own. It was something she'd been meaning to do once they returned from Seattle.

Keeping herself completely cloaked, she ran into town and headed for the large Catholic church down the street from Seth's auto shop. She usually heard the bells ring for Mass when she hung out at work with him.

Tara hadn't stepped into a church in over fifty years. She superstitiously wondered if the walls would collapse on her the moment she set foot through the doors but all was quiet as she entered. Nothing crumbled. The ground didn't open up and swallow her. It was a lot like she'd remembered as a child.

There was a small water basin just as you passed the lobby to enter the chapel, filled with holy water. Tara stood in front of it looking down at her reflection in the pool. She curiously reached out a finger and held it over the edge. Though she knew all the vampire myths from the movies were untrue, she still never tested the holy water theory. She dipped a finger into the water. Again, nothing happened. Then she stirred it around a bit making little waves with a grin on her face like a kid.

She had a sudden memory of being in Catholic school now. One day she let a bull frog loose in the water basin to get back at one of the girls who had always been mean to her. It earned he a paddling by one of the Nuns but it was all worth it to hear the girl's scream when the frog leaped out and bounced off her dress before hoping off to make its escape.

Tara giggled to herself thinking of the memory until she heard someone from behind her clearing their throat, waiting for her to move. She quickly made the sign of the cross and then headed into the chapel.

She searched for the confessional and waited for the person inside to step out and then she went in. All her old memories of catechism and the doctrines started returning to her. It was an eerie feeling sitting in confession after so many years but once she released her past and sought forgiveness, she felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

When she came out she lit two candles for her parents and then sat it the pew for a moment looking up at the beautifully carved statues and hand painted murals. They were nothing compared to St Peter's cathedral but they still reminded her of one of the things she enjoyed about coming to church. She admired the historical art and its beauty.

Tara sat quietly for a while with her eyes closed and tried to pray. Within a few moments however, she noticed someone had down beside her. She felt a little annoyed wondering why anyone would have to choose to sit right next to her when there were several empty pews available. Tara opened her eyes but when she did, the person sitting next to her was not who she expected. It was Edward. He'd followed her.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. Knowing he could read her mind, it was easy for him to find her, even though she couldn't be seen. She suddenly gave him a visual of herself knowing she probably couldn't get out of the conversation he was about to bombard her with..

"It would be extremely disruptive and rude for you to yell at me in a church you know," she said coldly.

"I'm not here to yell at you. I came to talk some sense into you."

"Well, I'm not changing my mind Edward. There's no point in wasting your time here." She paused. "…and you know, of all people I really expected you to understand."

"I do understand, that's why I came to talk to you."

"If you really understood, you'd help me." She folded her arms and frowned not looking at him.

"I want to help you understand how important your life is and to not throw it away," he replied.

Someone suddenly shushed them from the back of the room. Their voices had gotten louder than they expected. They switched to a less audible tone for human ears.

"I'm not throwing my life away Edward. I plan on spending a long and happy life with the man I love but when this life chooses a time for him to move on…I just want to go with him, if that's at all even possible. It's my hope though."

"And if you're wrong?" he asked.

"Wrong about what? An afterlife?"

"Yes, then what."

She shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it. But whatever I have to face in the end, it wouldn't be worse than spending an eternity without Seth."

"I get that part and I've felt the exact way you do before but you don't realize how much you'd be hurting the people around you that love you if you were to end you life like that. It's completely and utterly selfish!" Imagine what this would do to Esme and Carlisle and the rest of us … they were very upset with me when I plotted my death in Italy. I have never forgotten the thoughts in their minds when I returned home. How it made them feel to selfishly want to end my life without thinking about how it would affect them."

Edward's family gave him a brutal lecture when he returned. Esme was the most hurt by his actions.

"I'm sorry. It's not that I don't care for you all very much. You're my family and I love you but I how can you all expect me to spend the rest of my existence alone and in pain?"

"But you won't be alone."

"Yes I will. You'll get to go home to your Bella, and the others will go home to their spouses, but I'll spend every night alone without him. I can't bear it Edward. It's not fair of any of you to ask that of me. I understand if you don't want the burden of assisting me but don't guilt me for wanting to do this."

Edward saw the desperate look in her eyes. It was the same pain he saw in his own reflection when he thought Bella was dead.

"So there's no changing your mind. You're absolutely set on this decision?"

"Yes, it's what I want."

"Will you even discuss this with Seth?"

"No, of course not. He doesn't need to know any of this."

Edward exhaled deeply. He couldn't believe what he was about to say. "I don't want you to go to the other about this."

"But that's not fair! I have no one else to go to…"

Though Tara thought about asking the pack, there was no way of knowing if any of them would be around either.

Edward sunk back in the pew. "That won't be necessary. I'll be the one."

"What? Her eyebrows popped up. You...you will?"

"Yes. When the time comes for Seth to pass on from this life… I'll help you. I know you're stubborn and would just find some other way to go about it, but I won't want you to have to do that."

Edward knew Tara wasn't about to change her mind. Nor would he have and if Bella never stopped him he would have ended his life that day. He didn't want her to run off and find some other way to destroy her life. He also knew that she would even consider turning her life over to Derek or some other cruel rogue vampire in order to die. She knew that would not be a merciful death but she also wouldn't care at that point. Edward cared greatly however.

Tara suddenly smiled and leaped forward, hugging him tightly. "Oh, thank you Edward!"

"Tara!" Edward grouched.

Someone shushed them again, even louder this time.

She released him worried she'd been too loud and embarrassed him. "Oh sorry."

"No, it not that," he said, reading her mind and looking around to see if anyone was close by looking at them. "I just agreed to end your life and you're hugging me. It's just… weird."

She chuckled. Then she reached for his hand and squeezed it. Thank you, she thought.

Edward touched Tara's face in the same way he'd touch his own daughter Renesmee. "I'm hoping it will be a very, very long time before we have to face this. I don't look forward to it, but I understand everything you're feeling about Seth. Promise me you will say nothing to the others about our agreement. I don't want them to know. Someday I will have to try and explain it to Bella. I can only hope she will understand and forgive me."

Tara nodded.

Edward sighed. "Aright then, I better leave before the roof falls in on me," he joked.

Tara chuckled. "I'm done too. I'll walk out with you."

"Do you want a ride?" Edward asked. "At least let me escort you. You shouldn't be out here alone."

"Don't worry, no one can see me."

Just then, Seth received a text from Seth: "Where are you?"

"Crap!" she blurted out loudly.

Suddenly a priest was headed their way to put an end to their disruptive conversation and Edward picked up on his thoughts.

"Let's go." he said, rushing her out of there.

Seth was waiting for her at the Cullen's house. He'd called to look for her, but Alice told him she saw them at the church together but she had no idea what they were there for. Seth thought it very odd. He waited inside until they both pulled up in Edward's car and as soon as he heard them pulling in the drive, he came out the front door.

Seth looked extremely unhappy.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry," she apologized looking very guilty.

"Do you have any idea what went through my mind when I came home and you weren't there!" he asked angrily.

Tara glanced at Edward quickly and then the others who were looking out the front door at them.

"Uh, can we talk about this on the way home?" she suggested.

With a frown on his face, Seth nodded and then thanked the Cullens and walked over to his car. He opened the door for Tara but didn't look at her as she got in. He slammed the door shut and then got in the driver's seat, gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. He put his head down for a moment talking a deep breath. Then he exhaled before staring the car and sped off.

The silence was deafening until Seth finally spoke.

"I'm waiting…" he said in a flat tone.

"Can you please stop being so angry first," she asked.

"I'm really, really trying." He responded. "I just hope you have a good excuse for taking off into town like that. I mean…is something wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Not this, she thought.

I just had something to take care of," she said trying to think of an excuse she could give him.

"Something to take care of? Alice told me she saw you at a church. What's that all about?"

Ugh! Alice! Tara thought. She forgot Alice could see her when she's not with Seth.

Tara sighed. She knew she'd have to tell him.

"I…um…I wanted to go to confession."

"Confession?" His eye brows rose.

"Yes, I was raised Catholic."

"Okay yeah I know, but why…why now when there's a deranged vampire on the loose trying to kill you? What's so important that you had to do this …and what exactly did you confess to?"

"Uh, pretty much everything."

"Everything? Like…everything?" he gasped.

Tara nodded.

"What? Oh my God! Are you serious? How could you do that?" he said freaking out now.

"You really should use God's name in vein you know," she said calmly

"What? Never mind about that…So you told him about your past?"

"Yes. But don't' worry Seth, the priests are bound to their oaths. He'll never tell anyone. Trust me."

"Well…what exactly was his reaction?"

"Actually I think he might've thrown up."

Seth shook his head in total disbelief of what he was hearing. Panic started to set in. "And then? Did he say anything?"

"Yes…he told me I would be forgiven."

"Forgiven? Is that what this is all about? You want forgiveness?"

"Yes," she said looking into her lap. "I…I've just been thinking about some things and I wanna make sure that you know...my soul is secured in the afterlife."

"I just don't get it…why are you worrying about this now? Couldn't this have waited? I thought you guys all virtually live forever …don't you?"

Tara nodded silently looking away.

"Well, if anyone should be worrying about their soul then it should be me. I mean, I'm sure I'll be the first to go, not you. "

"Exactly," Tara said.

Seth didn't understand. He looked at her suspiciously. "You're not telling me something."

She still didn't look at him.

"Tara?" he said waiting for an answer.

She huffed. "I know you won't Seth, that's why I want to make things right with my maker…so I can have some peace about this. I wanna know that we can spend eternity forever."

He shook his head. "What are your talking about?"

Seth thought for a moment and then something clicked. He suddenly pulled the car off to the side of the road before he drove it into something.

"Tara…what are you saying. Are you planning on dying, when I die?

She said nothing.

Seth took that as a yes. "No! You can't do that. I mean ….how can you even do that?"

"I've made arrangements. Don't worry about it," she mumbled.

"Arrangements? What do you mean you made arrangements?" his voice became louder now.

Seth knew about the time Edward ran off to the Volturi when he thought Bella had plummeted to her death at the bottom of a cliff. He knew Edward had planned on having them destroy him, end his existence. But now that they were gone, he wondered who she could go to. Suddenly it clicked when he realized that's what she was talking to Edward about the last two times.

"Edward!" He said angrily.

She remained silent.

He became even more angry now. "No Tara…no! I'm not even gonna listen to this. You want me to accept this plan? How can you ask me to do that?" His body trembled.

She finally burst out, shouting over him. "How can you ask me to go on living if you pass on Seth!"

"Tara… were talking about hundreds years from now…maybe even more, who knows. Why are you even so worried about this now?"

"A hundred years is nothing for me. I've been alive for over seventy and it passed by me quickly. Vampire years are not like human years. It's not the same for us."

Seth stewed in his seat.

"Please, please, don't be angry with me," she whispered.

She touched his arm hoping for some kind of loving reciprocation but his eyes were glossy and he gripped his steering wheel again tightly. He didn't respond to her touch. His body just shook as he tried to calm himself. She dropped her hand.

"Seth…you know that wolves, real wolves mate for life. When their partner dies, they usually don't survive long after that. They actually mourn for their partner and die of a broken heart. Except, I.. can't.. die. I'll just have to live in pain the rest of my existence. How can you expect me to do that? I can't bear the thought of losing you Seth. Please understand." Her voice softened to almost a whisper as she finished and her lip quivered. She crushed her eyelids and lips together trying not to sob and she put her hands to her face to cover her emotion.

Though vampires couldn't produce tears, the pain was there as is the willingness to cry. There was just no release for her pain. It stayed trapped inside, screaming to get out.

Seth's demeanor finally changed when he saw looked over at her. His expression softened and he felt guilty for being angry.

He reached over and touched her hand, "I'm sorry he whispered," then leaned toward her and touched her check to turn it to face him so he could see her eyes.

She dropped her hands.

"It's just …I don't know how to be okay with you committing suicide like that. It seems so wrong."

"I know. For you it is. To me it's seems so right though."

"Forgive me for being angry," he said.

"It's okay, I understand. I knew you would be. It's why I didn't want to tell you."

Seth sighed and swallowed, hesitating before speaking again. "Maybe… there's another way though," he said.

She leaned back, looking at him curiously. "What's that?"

"It's just a last resort kinda thing. I mean…only if I was on my death bed ya know."

She looked at him confused.

"You could… try to turn me." he mumbled.

She had no difficulty hearing him though. "Wha…? No..I can't bite you, you'd die!"

Seth shook his head. "The real truth is…we don't really know for sure. No one's ever tested the theory. I mean who'd wanna right? Some of us think it's just a legend or just a symbolic death. You know…like the story in the bible, where Eve bit the apple. God told her she'd die but she didn't really die, not physically. She just dies spiritually. Her innocence died and it gave her a new knowledge. It was a like a rebirth…or something." he said trying to recall the stories he'd heard as a kid.

She shook her head. Her face looked cold and dumbfounded. "I don't want this for you."

"But you want me? Forever…right?"

"Yes but not this way. You don't really want this….do you?

"No…not really. I like being human but if I can spend eternity with you….I don't care. It's worth a try. What's to lose? If I'm dying anyways….then we try it. If I still die…" he took a deep sigh "…then you can go ahead with plan B, as much as I hate the idea."

Tara just looked at him in shock.

"Well...say something," he said.

"I don't know what to say…..except that you're incredibly…"

"Stupid?" He tried to finish

"No, not stupid. In fact you're the farthest thing from it." She sighed shaking her head. "You're just more than I ever deserved. I can't help but love you more than anything."

He smiled and then kissed her. "I love you too."

"I don't know what strange forces thought it would be a good idea for us to be together but I won't complain. I'm just sorry you got the crappy end of the deal." She chuckled.

Seth chuckled too, knowing she was kidding but he also knew deep down she meant it. "I did not get the crappy end of the deal. I'm honored to have imprinted on you. I really don't think I was meant for a human girl. You're perfect for me. Everything about you. If I could go back and change things….I would not change one thing….okay?"

She took his hand in hers. "I won't let you down, not ever. I promise"