Reason To Believe- Dashboard Confessional
Oh
sweet lungs don't fail me now
Your burning has turned into
fear
Drills me in my every step, i'm moving quick but you're
always on my heals
Just one more breath, i beg you please
Just
one more step, my knees are weak
My heart is sturdy but it needs
you to survive
My heart is sturdy but it needs you
Breathe,
don't you want to breathe
I know that you are strong enough to
handle what i need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to
feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you
carry me there one more time?
Steady lungs, don't fail me
now
I feel you bursting but you won't let me die
Fill me up
with every step
I'm feeling sick, but i'm leaving it behind
Just
one long breath i beg you please
Just one more step you are not
weak
My legs are sturdy but they need you to survive
My heart
is sturdy but i need you
Breathe, don't you want to
breathe
And know that you are strong enough to handle what i
need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My
body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there
once more?
I have reason to believe that i have victories to
taste
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest
I
can roll them on my tongue, they are more subtle than defeat
I
feel the tension in my lungs and every move is filled by my resolve
to
Breathe, don't you want to breathe
I know that you are
strong enough to handle what i need
My capillaries scream, there's
nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that
line
Will you carry me there one more time?
Peter smacked his cell phone closed. Needless to say, his frustration was mounting. Ned could not find much more on Nancy Baker after her suspected multiple murders. The only other information Ned had come up with was she had been treated in a mental institution before the murders she committed and she had vanished thereafter.
While waiting for Ned's information, a quick conversation with Betty confirmed she was apprehensive about Amber and felt uncomfortable when she visited her in the hospital but no solid details of Amber being behind Betty's attacker were discovered. Unfortunately, too much of the actual attack had been blacked out of Betty's mind.
Peter ran a hand through his hair with a heaving sigh. Could he really be stretching this idea? He barely knew Amber. Perhaps, he was just subconsciously mad at her for wrecking his relationship with MJ beyond repair. No. He blamed himself more than he blamed anyone else. If he had just been strong and stayed away from MJ the first time, she would have not gotten hurt again.
But damn it, MJ was relentless and would not give up! He appreciated that she did not seem to lose faith in him despite how hard he pushed she never gave up. She was stubborn all right, and she really had loved him. And he had kept pushing her away, disregarding her love and trying to save her from him, he had only hurt her and himself. He had certainly destroyed any chance of their love uniting them together.
Part of him hoped he would feel relief that MJ was out of his life. He would no longer have to worry if enemies would find the connection to Peter Parker being Spider-Man and MJ being in his life. He wouldn't have to deny himself the one thing he desired more than anything else, for it was no longer attainable. He wouldn't be tempted by her unyielding attempts to break through the barrier he put between them anymore.
But it wasn't true, at all. Not really. Sure, his brain told him this was exactly what he had been pushing to happen for the past few weeks. But his heart, well that was another story completely. He missed her already. He needed her help, desired her advice. What would she think of Amber being the Widow Maker? He knew she distrusted her but he always felt that was discolored by her own feelings for him. And after tonight, he couldn't blame her for feeling this.
"Oh God, MJ…" he sighed in exasperation. "What do I do…?"
There came no miracle answer to him. MJ did not appear at his door, or ring his cell ready to help him. The silence was driving him nuts! Nothing would come of him moping about or being undecided about his suspicions of Amber.
So he decided to rely on all he had left, Spider-Man. No matter what happened, there would always be Spider-Man. Yeah, he was a bit bitter about that fact. He stripped down to his costume under his clothes and spun around the room searching for his camera bag where his mask would be found.
His eyebrows shot up in surprise seeing a piece of his mask sticking out the Velcro flap of his bag. That was strange. He clearly remembered stuffing the mask at the bottom of his camera after the studio last night. He wondered if Amber had been snooping around whilst he was outside the apartment with MJ.
His suspicions were mounting and he told himself he would be foolish if he didn't at least look into Amber Dieson being Nancy Baker who now called herself the Widow Maker. He slipped on his mask and made a quick exit off the balcony.
Where to start searching for her was what he was trying to figure out.
Not more than a few hours later, his sweep of the city left him clueless. He web swung his way uptown to downtown and through every part of the city. He tried Amber's cell phone numerous times with no answer. He even stopped at the Bugle, donning his normal clothes to do some snooping. He snuck into the employee file room, where any information on the Bugle reporters was held. They even had file information stored on him here. As a freelance photographer, he was required to fill out the basic paperwork needed by the paper. This meant there would be some information on Amber here as well.
He looked around outside the door to make sure no one would see him sneak into the room. He got inside unnoticed and scanned the large filing cabinet against the wall. He stalked over to the cabinet and pulled on the handle to release the drawer labeled A-D. The drawer resisted, locked tight. Peter sighed, using his spider strength to pop the lock easily. The drawer creaked open and he dove into the files, looking for Amber's. There was nothing! He slammed the cabinet in a rage, denting it permanently. He groaned, making a quick exit to the rooftop before anyone found him.
His frustration was mounting and he needed clarity. There was too much going on in his head and he couldn't make heads or tails of what was going on. He searched everywhere he could think of for Amber. There was no place else he could go to find her. He would have to wait for her to come to him.
He stared out at the city below him from the Bugle rooftop. Cars whizzed by hundreds of feet below him and activity went on despite the looming disaster Peter knew of.
Night had fallen on the city and it was growing later. The Widow Maker would make her appearance soon. He would find her then. And he would end this madness tonight.
But, before he could do that, he needed to clear his head of the jumbled mess tumbling about within. He needed to go see MJ and clear the air. If nothing else, he needed to get out what he had to say so his mind could concentrate on the task at hand.
He leapt off the building freefalling into the frigid winter air as the bitter wind blew against the fabric of his thin costume. He was air bound and traveling swiftly towards MJ's hoping she would be there.
He reached her building in short time, but it didn't feel short at all. He didn't have much time now, but he would make the most of it. If she would even see him.
His feet hit her balcony heavily, wanting her to know he was here. The curtains were drawn and it was dark inside. He frowned, thinking she was not home. He reached out to knock on the glass door but the wind picked up and the door blew open and closed, banging against the frame, cracking open again.
He didn't need spider sense for the feeling of dread to overcome him. He pushed open the door, stepping into MJ's bedroom. A crackling sound came from the floor and he looked down, realizing he stepped on broken glass. He shifted away from the glass, seeing the bed lamp upon the floor next. The bulb was shattered, pieces of glass scattered about the floor.
His eyes left the floor to see the tousled bed sheets, ripped and torn. His heart went into a panicked pace he wasn't sure his body could tolerate for long. He wouldn't allow his mind to dare touch the thoughts of what could have happened to MJ. If someone touched her…
Everything went red and he balled his fists so tightly, the circulation cut off, causing his hands to go numb. The overwhelming fury churned inside so rapidly, he felt dizzy and his balance wavered momentarily. He closed his eyes in attempt to keep his emotion in check.
He opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings again. The room was otherwise untouched, the only signs of a struggle being the bed and lamp. He breathed deep, his chest heaving with each breath. He let out a breath, which nearly turned into a sob. Another breath came out with a rumble, and finally a roar resonated from his throat.
Amber.
She went after MJ to get revenge on him. Amber went after MJ because he rejected her. She knew MJ loved him and no matter how he tried to hide it, Amber knew he loved MJ too. There was no cloud of doubt in his mind now. Amber had to be the Widow Maker. There was no time to doubt himself and no time to be wrong. MJ's life was on the line and it was his fault. His worst nightmares were coming true.
He wasted no more time in self-pity. He jumped out the bedroom onto the balcony and right off the ledge.
Think, Parker. Where would she take her? Would she have already killed her? No, she would be baiting him as others had done already. Goblin… The bridge… MJ's fall… He closed his eyes, as the visions played out before him. Then his eyes popped open. He had to concentrate! He zip lined to a tall building, feet landing on the gravel turf of the rooftop. He stopped a moment searching the city skyline in hopes the answer to where Widow and MJ would appear. The hours were growing later and the morning would be here soon.
Peter whipped out his cell, desperate. He dialed Amber's number praying the psycho woman would answer his call this time. He waited and the phone rang and rang. When he thought no answer would come, the line finally clicked and a heavy breath answered.
"Amber?"
"We don't answer to that name," came the muffled reply.
We? he thought. Oh great, she is freaking loopy! "Widow…"
She chuckled with delight. "We were wondering when you would call us."
"What did you do with Mary Jane?" he growled with malice lacing his tone.
More laughter. "Come to where all the spiders play. See for yourself."
Peter growled with feral rage. "Answer me!"
"You made the game, now let's see you play along,"
Then there was a click.
The time of the call flashed on his phone and Peter howled with vexation. He has no idea what her riddles meant! He was too distracted by his fear for Mary Jane. Everything he fought to protect, everything he gave up to see this never happen again was useless! She was gone and he had no idea how to find her!
Where the spiders play… You made the game, now let us see you play along…
What did it mean? Think Peter! Remember, damn it!
It had to do with their mini battle the other night… It was the only time they had come face to face. Think… damn it, think hard! What had he said to her? Ugh! He could not concentrate! His fear of what could happen to MJ had his mind paralyzed. He would die if something happened to her. He had to clear his mind and think or he would never find her. He squeezed his eyes shut and battled to force the images away.
It came on him like lightning striking then.
When he had interrupted Widow Maker that night he had said, "So this is where the spiders gather to play?"
The alley where they fought.
It was so simple! If he hadn't been so panicked about Mary Jane being hurt, he would have thought of it sooner. They had to be there! Peter leapt off the building carelessly and swung into the overnight sky.
He arrived on the same rooftop he watched Widow from the other night. He immediately scanned the area looking for signs of MJ or Widow. The alley was empty. "Damn it!" he cursed, slamming his fist on the edge of the rooftop.
He wasn't going to give up so easily though. He leapt down into the alleyway and searched the area. His spider sense vibrated lightly in the back of his head. They were close by.
He looked around more closely. There was an apartment building on his left and the building he had leapt from was abandoned. He wasted no time, leaping into the air and breaking through the abandoned window feet first. The glass shattered all around him and he landed in the center of a dark room. His spider sense increased and he looked around hoping to find the trigger.
The room was empty. He looked for the doorway, which led to the next room. He zipped to the ceiling, crawled across to the doorway, and inspected the next room. There were papers trashed around the floor. Broken down generators and mechanical equipment lined the walls. Nothing here either. He crawled into the room and surveyed where he should search next.
An annoyed scream of "Let me go!" echoed through the abandoned building.
MJ's voice made Peter nearly loose his grip on the ceiling. She was alive! He quickly made his way to the direction he heard her voice come from. Another trashed room came into view. This one had broken furniture, cracked walls and a few more generators, but these hummed softly inside the room. A few florescent lights lined the ceiling in here, obviously powered by the generators in the room.
Peter inspected this all from the ceiling near the door. He sighed in relief at the sight of MJ, despite the trouble she was in. She was tied up to a pole on one of the generators and she struggled to break loose. She seemed unhurt and angry for being bound by her wrists and ankles.
The hum of his spider sense was still dull which told him Widow Maker was not present in the room yet. He wasted no time in his actions. He had to get MJ out of there while the timing was right. Any spike from his spider sense could mean Widow Maker would be nearby and in attack range. He reached out his arm and nailed a web line onto the ceiling of the room, inches from MJ's position on the ground.
He swung in a flash and the surprise on MJ's face barely registered by the time he landed on his feet in front of her. His heart leapt with joy as he was greeted with a surprised smile.
MJ didn't allow her heart to register the relief it felt at the sight of Peter any further than inside the confines of those battered walls. She would not allow herself to delve into the thoughts of what she would do without him. There was no time for such trivial matters at the moment. However, she could not help but allow the smile to reach her lips. Relief that she was not going to die and that despite their ruined friendship, Peter was still here to save her. "Boy am I glad to see you." she allowed.
Peter was in action immediately, untying her ankles first. Then he untied her hands that were bound behind her back around a piece of the generator. He was scant inches from her face as he looked at her through those opaque slots. "I thought you never wanted to see me again, Mary Jane." he said in a teasing, flirtatious tone. His relief over her safety allowed his witty side to take over.
She turned her head to look back at him and she had just a moment to feel indignation at his remark. She gave a half-felt wry grin at the dry humor of Spider-Man. How it ever went untainted! She had no remark in return for him; she only wanted freedom. Her wrists were starting to burn in pain from her trying to wriggle free. The heat radiating off the generator had made it quite uncomfortable too. She could feel small beads of sweat dripping down her forehead.
He pulled her bindings free. He searched the room, trying to find a quick way out. The room left no escape route except for through the door and to the room leading to where he broke in through the window. He turned back to MJ and gripped her by the shoulders. "Listen carefully. I want you to run as fast as you can through that doorway. In the next room there is a door leading to a room with a window to the outside. Get through and get out of here before she gets back."
"What about you?" MJ rubbed her wrists, wincing at the sensitive skin that caused the pain.
"I'm going to end this before anyone else gets hurt," Peter answered, feeling his spider sense grow stronger. "Hurry!"
MJ didn't move at first, staring at him, frustrated she couldn't see through to his real eyes behind the mask. She feared leaving him.
"MJ, go! Get out of here!" he demanded a bit more harshly than he realized.
MJ's face became a mask of frustrated anger and she gave him one final look displaying those emotions before she rushed off in the direction he told her.
Spider sense went off like a trip hammer in his head.
"Mary Jane!" Peter screamed loudly, seeing the black clad figure appear from out of nowhere and gripped MJ by her throat instantly as she neared the doorway.
Widow Maker laughed at Spider-Man's foolishness.
"Spider-Man!" MJ struggled to scream as Widow Maker's strong grasp crushed her throat.
"Let her go Widow!" Spider-Man demanded, his voice deep and laced with hate.
Widow chuckled as she spun the redhead in her arms, so she clutched her against herself, her arm wrapped around her neck and the needle-like nails from her other hand were pressed against the flesh of MJ's throat around her jugular. "Oh come on! We're all friends here, let's not be formal with names, right Peter?"
MJ struggled in her grasp, but stopped as she felt the pinch of her flesh breaking as some of the nails pierced her flesh. She flinched in pain and stopped her struggle. She could feel the trickle of blood travel down her neck and she squeezed her eyes shut to the pain.
"Right, Widow. Or would you prefer Amber?" Spidey growled, balling his fists at the sight of MJ's blood. Just scratches. The nails were not through her skin. "How about Nancy?" he hissed.
Widow seized movement and she stiffened at the name Spider-Man called her. Nancy… Weak, abused, raped and beaten Nancy Baker. A woman so broken and used no man would ever want her. Her hands began to shake and she was sure she would break down and scream in pain at the memories. But the darkness inside forced her on, forced her to be strong.
All the same, Spidey got her defenses down momentarily and he took advantage of that moment. He shot a web line at Widow's hand and forcefully snapped the line back, forcing her weapons away from MJ.
MJ collapsed to her knees. She quickly got to her feet and scurried away from Widow, bracing herself up against the wall. Her breaths came in whooshes of air as she attempted to control the fear inside her. A hand went instinctively to her neck and she felt the small scratches where her skin was punctured. A small amount of blood was on her fingertips but it seemed less serious than she had imagined it to be. She wasted no further concentration on her own condition as she saw the Widow Maker fly across the room into a wall at the end of the line Peter used to snap her into the shambled sheet rock.
Pieces of the wall crumbled under the pressure of the force, burying the Widow Maker underneath.
It only slowed her momentarily as she got to her feet and laughed at Spider-Man insanely. "Your abuse pales in comparison to all we have survived. Just like every man that has hurt us before Peter Parker, you shall pay!" she ripped the webbing away with her claws. She glared at him with those black eyes under her mask. "You denied Amber love and now you are no longer able to escape our wrath. She tried to spare you, but you clear affection for the redhead will be your undoing. We told her to destroy you but she thought you could change her."
"It's not too late to change. You can fight this!" Spidey circled as Widow advanced on him. He blocked a few easy kicks as she snarled at him.
"There is nothing to fight! We are one! You cannot fight what you are. We have been gifted with the powers to destroy!" she growled, taking a few swings at him with her claws.
He dodged around them, not striking back. He was trying to get through to her. He was hoping somewhere inside Amber or Nancy would fight off what had become of her. "Why the venom?"
"It is what we are! We are the Black Widow Spider!" she answered in annoyance of repeat conversation.
"How did this happen to you?" his scientific mind yearned for answers and to keep her talking in hopes of distracting her.
She stopped and stood still. Her blood red smile glimmered in the fluorescent light. "Magic."
Peter didn't know whether to believe her or not. She was out of her mind and his science refused to believe such a thing was possible. Of course, if there were mutated spiders that could give him super human powers why couldn't there be some form of magic to give Widow her own powers. He ducked as she leapt at him. It didn't matter. All that mattered was how he was going to stop her.
She tumbled into the ground shoulder first. She relentlessly got back to her feet, stumbling a bit. She was getting tired and frustrated. "You can't stop me. All must pay for the hurt. Peter, you are bad. Just like them! You hurt! I thought you were different. How wrong…" she tsked, shaking her head.
"I didn't mean to hurt you… I am sorry you have been so hurt. You can stop this though. There is no resolution to revenge! Don't you see, Widow? How many have you killed; how many have paid for your taste for revenge? But the pain you feel doesn't go away, it doesn't get better! Revenge is not the answer."
"How noble," she answered in a raspy tone. She managed to get close enough to land a good thrust of her fist into his ribs. "But it still feels so good!" she chuckled as he writhed in pain. "There is no other way."
"Peter!" MJ cried in fear as Widow got the advantage on him and was sending a barrage of kicks and punches into him until he was on his back.
Widow turned at MJ's cry and laughed in delight. "Your pain is like power. Suffer!" she told the redhead with a possessed hatred.
Spidey kicked out his leg, catching both of hers and she went into the air, landing on her back. He leapt to his feet as Widow got to hers. There was no getting through to her. She was lost to whatever gave her this power and unquenched thirst for revenge. He knew she had suffered, but she had taken innocent lives along with the lives of the criminals she had killed along the way. She tried to kill Betty, tried to kill him and now she had attempted to do the one thing he would not tolerate more than an attempt on his own life; she threatened and tried to kill MJ. "Enough, Widow. Your terror is about to come to an end."
Widow caught his eyes and stared back at him as they stared each other down. "You survived my poison once Spider-Man. I won't make the same mistake again. I will fill your filthy body with so much poison; the venom will run from your lips! I will rip your flesh apart until there is nothing left but the strands of your being and then I will pump just enough venom into the redhead's heart to kill her slow enough to wallow in the remains of your battered corpse. You will learn it is not nice to hurt me!" she cried, leaping at him.
Peter knocked away her attack, and this time he attacked back as they exchanged powerful blows. He flinched as her claws tore through some of his costume into his flesh on his right bicep. He ignored the pain, continuing to trade blows. He landed a punch on her jaw, rattling the bones and her mask dropped to the ground. He stepped back, shaken by her grotesque and maimed face. The veins in her face pulsed green. The poison really was inside of her!
Widow took advantage of his stunned state and sent a spin kick into his groin.
He went down immediately and she towered over him once again as she had the other night.
Some of the venom dripped onto his costume from her claws. She raised both her hands, ready to strike. "You may have survived once but there is no way even your body can handle this much!" she dove at him ready to drive both sets of claws into his chest.
MJ appeared behind her, pulling at her shoulder. As her gruesome face came into view, MJ cocked her hand back and sent a full forced fist into Widow's previously rattled jaw. Her bones connected with her jaw and she felt a sting of pain on contact but it was enough to distract her from killing Peter.
Widow turned back to MJ after the force of her blow forced her face in the other direction. She tasted blood on her lips and it ignited her fury further. She batted MJ away with one strong swipe. She knocked her across the room and MJ's head bounced off the concrete.
Spidey got to his feet while Widow had been distracted and he gripped the woman by the arm after she threw MJ across the room. He threw his knee into her gut, and then landed a punch to her ribs.
Widow fought back and they struggled for control of the fight across the room. Her hands were trapped in his strong grasp and she pushed against him trying to break free. She slammed him into one of the generator's and he groaned in pain. She raised her hands higher; feeling the prime opportunity to ram her claws into his flesh was now.
Spidey let go of her wrists and his spider sense flared sharply like a firecracker exploding. He leapt into the air over her head and landed on the other side of her as she advanced forward. Her claws jammed right through the metal generator box and sparks immediately shot off. The lights flickered on and off as the juice running through the box was set free and shocked Widow's body with thousands of watts of electricity.
The sickening scream she let out as her body shook and smoked was terrible. Her screams became wails of pain and horror.
Peter watched in shock as her body finally fell limply to the ground as the lights fell dark and the power was finally drained. Her body was still and her eyes stared back up at him lifelessly. The smell of charred flesh reached his nose and he fought the urge to vomit. He frowned, wishing another life did not have to be lost. He was glad that it was finally over, but at such an expense? He did not want it to end like this. He wanted to help her.
"Peter?" MJ's meek voice filled the dark room.
He turned over his shoulder to find her lying on the floor still. He rushed over to her, Amber's body forgotten. He kneeled beside her, helping her sit up slowly. "Are you ok?"
She nodded gently, and then moaned in pain. "My head."
"We should get you to a hospital," he examined her closer, inspecting the small wounds at her neck.
"I'm ok. Just a few bumps, no need," MJ waved off the idea. "Is she dead?"
He nodded solemnly. "I tried to help her."
MJ felt tears well up at his voice. He was filled with such sorrow. A life had been lost, no matter how evil or confused she was, the loss of Amber's life left Peter wracked with guilt. "At least, she is not in pain anymore. And she can't hurt anyone else."
Peter nodded, feeling very little consolation from that. He pulled out his cell phone and called the police to report the Widow anonymously. He hung up once the information was passed on. "Police should be here soon." he informed as he sat back down beside her. He brushed back some of MJ's hair from her face. He wiped away a smudge of dirt from her cheek. "I'm glad you're ok. I would sooner die than see you hurt."
MJ felt the tears spill as his admission of his concern for her. She bowed her head and her shoulders shook as the tears came on more powerful now. She let out a sob and before she could contemplate it further, she threw herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck. She buried her face into his masked neck.
Peter was too shocked to do anything else but envelop her and held her as she cried. He squeezed her tightly; glad she was in his arms and away from danger. He held her a moment longer than realization dawned on him. She would always be in danger so long as she was a part of his life. He closed his eyes tightly and would allow himself a brief time for one more tight hug and one last scent of her perfumed hair. Then he pulled her at arm's length and prepared himself.
MJ studied him, unable to read his reaction with that damn mask on. She cocked her head to the side, sniffling, as he seemed to be staring at her. "Peter?"
"We need to get out of here." he helped her up as he could hear sirens in the faint background. He led her to the exit of the building and he lifted her into his arms, quickly leaping into the night.
