Scene: Spies' Penthouse: 6:30 PM

Alex: "Now that we are stuck with you for the time being, we may as well allow you to have the sofa for sleeping."

Peter: "Sweet! I get to be away from the family and I get the TV to myself at night! Could life get any better?

Sam: "Speaking of which, does your family know about your recent whereabouts and why you aren't going to be providing for them for the time being?"

Peter: "No sweat, I left a message on the answering machine! I'm sure my family will handle the news with dignity, I've got nothing to worry about!"

Cutaway

Chris (listening to message): "Mom, Dad is not going to be home for a few weeks! He has to stay in a penthouse with three hot teenage chicks until this case blows over!"

(Cut to shot of Griffin house, roof blows off and flips over, tornado with arms and legs sticking out explodes through door and causes destruction all over town)

Lois: "BLARGH, BLARGH, BLARGH!!!! MUST KILL PETER! WHERE IS PETER?"

Cue Bugs Bunny to present Tasmanian Lois with a "Peter" doll made up of a bomb and firecrackers dressed in Griffin clothing. The inevitable explosion occurs and nothing of Lois (until when needed next) is left except a pair of eyes surrounded by ashes.

End Cutaway

Clover: "OK, now let's lay down some ground rules for you, Mr. Griffin! We teenage girls have a social life that mostly consists of boys and shopping when we're not studying and saving the world!"

Sam: "That is especially true in your case, Clover!"

Clover: "Sammy, he's the one we're trying to set straight here!"

Alex: "Anyway, the point we are trying to make is, please don't wreck our good names and keep separate our business and personal lives!"

Peter: "Well, you girls provided me with shelter, the least I can do is treat you with the utmost respect!"

Scene: Beverly Hills Mall: 11:30 AM

(Three shrieks heard from a distance)

"Hey girls! What a surprise! I was pumping some iron at the gym today and now I feel slim and trim at a good-looking 287 lbs! Want to meet at the food court? I want to get my wife a get-well card and I'm looking for some recommendations!"

Peter put his supposedly fine-tuned chest on display (partially covered in a t-shirt saying, "I Worked Hard For This Body") for everyone to see at the mall. Three guys in the mall suddenly realized they were late for their dental appointments and had to cut their dates short.

Clover: "Are you trying to ruin my social life? It was bad enough that you teased me with a celebrity hottie!"

Cutaway

Clover opens up an envelope on her dresser claiming that it's from a secret admirer.

"My championship resume and my R-rated personality will be here to pick you up at 7:30!"

Outside, Peter is paying off the "blind date" for the payoff to his upcoming practical joke.

"So the bonus depends on how many hours she stays locked in her room?"

"Meh, what's $20/hr. when I'm going to upload this reaction video on YouTube?"

The door opens and Peter's accomplice is greeted by a blonde teenager dressed up like a Bratz doll; "Edge, I want to get to know you…WHO'S THIS?"

The sight of Naked Mideon standing behing your door would be enough to send any girl into a traumatic state.

End Cutaway

"And thanks for costing me $1,000 in bonus money! That made it almost not worth the thought I put into this!"

"What about all the thought you put into this?"

Cutaway

(Deal or No Deal set)

Howie Mandel: "Peter, you have got the banker hanging on the edge of the cliff! We are seeing history in the making! But the banker has got a unique offer for you!"

Peter: "Tell him he's wasting his breath because Peter Griffin goes for the gold…hello, what have we here?"

(Scene of Sam, Alex and Clover sharing a shower)

Howie: "That's not all, the offer also comes with an instalment, courtesy of The World Organization of Human Protection, that allows these three unsuspecting babes to be teleported from the showers to the studios if you accept this one-time offer! We'll also throw in $50,000."

Peter: "So let me get this straight, I can go for the million, or I get the chicks for free…wait a minute. Does this offer come with a swimming pool with appropriate filling and a request for some of that girl-on-girl action that average Joes like me find amusing?"

Howie: "I'll have to call the banker on that one…yes, that's fine with him. But this offer is one time only because the girls are about to turn off the taps any second now!"

Peter: "AAAHHH! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity Howie! I can't let this go to waste! From this point forward, my life will never be the same again!"

NO DEAL!!!!

End Cutaway

Alex: "And you had to select case #13 and you took home $500!"

Sam: "Which you spent on blizzard insurance for Southern California!"

Peter: "Well, if you think I'm being hard on your social life, check this out. A friend of mine knows all about house redecoration. I've arranged for him to spruce up your place so it will look like a true penthouse!"

Quagmire: "Giggity, giggity! What do you think? My refurbishing will attract people of all types to your penthouse! Check out all the new luxuries!"

With more built-in hide-a-beds than Easter Eggs in a DVD, it was safe to assume that someone had his own "hidden" agenda.

Scene: Spies' "Penthouse": 2:30 AM

The three girls returned home from working overtime at the malt shop. Tomorrow was not going to be the best day to get important things done, particularly cleaning up the penthouse, as there had never been a bigger mess since Post WWII Japan. Upstairs, some giggities and high-pitched squeals created a disturbing mystery the spies were none too anxious too solve.

(opening of Clover's door)

Quagmire: "Whoa! Hi! Uh...is it morning already because I've got some sunshine coming in!"

Mandy: "Sunshine? What are you talking about? You promised an all-night sexcapade...EEEEKKKK!!! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!"

Clover: "You're telling US to get out?!?!? What are you doing in my bed? I feel so violated!"

Sam: "Hey Mandy, I never knew you were into older men, check out this ID!"

Alex: "Yeah, this guy is old enough to be your grandfather!"

One glance at Quagmire's ID revealed indeed, that looks can be deceiving. Teenaged Mandy had just whored herself out to a 61-year-old man.

Mandy: "EWWWWW!!!! Get away from me! My life is so ruined!"

Mandy took off faster than the space shuttle while her female counterparts wondered how life could get any worse.