Hurt- Christina Aguilera
Seems
like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud
you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I
would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you
for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I
wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call
you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting
you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I
just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to
say goodbye when it comes to this
Would you tell me I was
wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon
me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To
have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you
looking back
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just
couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I
would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been
away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn
back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just
couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
MJ paced the floor of the airport, continuing to gaze outside into the night and watching planes land and take off. She glanced at her watch again, impatiently.
"For someone who wasn't ready to leave a few hours ago, you sure are impatient. Relax, its twenty to midnight. Besides, I should be nervous. Garrett isn't here yet. If he misses this after all the commotion he made about it, I'm going to kill him," Zoey crossed her arms defiantly as MJ paced by her.
"Why don't they just start boarding already?" MJ shook the energy from her hands, but couldn't help but continue to feel overanxious.
"It's New Year's Eve, MJ. Everyone takes a break at midnight. Relax, we'll be on our way soon enough. Nothing is going to change if we arrive a little later," Zoey chuckled.
MJ raised her brows unsure of that. What if she changed her mind? What if she got too scared and backed out? She groaned, plopping into the seat next to Zoey.
Truth was, she was wondering if Peter would come running up the aisle, screaming for her to stop and not get on the plane. He would shout, "I love you, MJ! Wait! Don't leave me! I need you!"
In reply, she would open her arms wide and shout," Peter, I love you too! I knew you needed me! I won't go!"
And they would kiss, passionately and longingly.
And she could keep dreaming. Even if Peter did find out she was leaving, he wouldn't stop her. It's what he wanted. Besides, she told May not to tell him. Peter was not going to stop her from leaving.
She set her chin defiantly. And she didn't want him to try.
"Zoey!" a male's voice called above the bustle of the terminal.
Zoey stood up. "Garrett!" she jumped up and down excitedly as the dark haired, dark eyes man ran up to her, enveloping her in his arms.
MJ groaned, leaning her head back. "Only me," she muttered aloud.
Peter beamed as the door to his Aunt's home opened. "Hey Aunt May! Surprise!"
"Peter, for land's sakes! It's nearly midnight. What are you doing here?" Aunt May put a hand over her heart.
Peter stepped in, still smiling. "I didn't want you to ring in the New Year without me. I'm sorry for getting here late. Traffic was backed up with everyone in Times Square. You know how packed it is there and traffic is just bumper to bumper." Lucky for him, Spider-Man had his own means of travel where traffic was never an issue. Well, except for the occasional flock of pigeons.
"Oh dear, you didn't have to come all this way just for me," May patted his shoulder after shutting the door. "I'm fine."
"Well," Peter took his coat off, still smiling at her. "Maybe I didn't want to be alone either, you know"
May smirked at the boy who was like a son to her. "Was I your only choice, hmm?" she stepped into the living and sat on the couch. She picked up her knitting needles and continued to knit the scarf she was making for her friend down the block.
Peter chuckled, surprised at her. "No, I just thought we both shouldn't be alone. We are family. So…" he sat beside her. "Here I am."
May smiled, patting her nephew's cheek. "Thanks sweetie." she picked up her needles again. "Always so thoughtful, Peter. It's why I love you so much."
"I love you too, Aunt May," Peter smiled, watching the TV play live coverage of Times Square.
"Big turn out this year, huh?" May watched the TV.
"Yeah, I think all of New York is squished in there," Peter chuckled. "I know Harry is down there, somewhere."
"Oh, how nice," MJ replied. She wondered if he was ever going to bring up MJ. She knew she shouldn't say anything, but she hated seeing her nephew pretend to be happy like this. She felt she should be loyal to MJ, but she had a loyalty to her nephew too. Besides, she never said she promised… She spoke up before she lost her cool. "I had a visitor before."
"Oh, really?" Peter continued to watch the TV. "Who stopped by?"
"Mary Jane," May answered simply.
Peter turned his head sharply. "MJ?"
"Yes," May grinned, knowing she caught his attention.
"What- What did MJ want?" Peter swallowed hard.
"Well, she wanted to share her good news," she paused, watching Peter practically squirm in his seat to keep from asking more. "She got an acting part."
Peter felt his heart soar with pride. He grinned, unable to contain how happy this news made him. "Really? That's outstanding!" he allowed himself one more deep smile, then he managed to control his emotions. "I bet she is happy."
"Of course she is. She's going to be on a soap opera. It's going to be a completely new experience for her. New job, new friends, new place to live…" May listed.
"She is moving out of the city?" Peter pretended not to care, as he continued to watch the TV no longer having any interest.
"Peter, she's gone to LA. She left for the airport from here not too long ago…" May revealed, unable to keep it in any longer.
Peter gripped his hands together so tightly, they went numb. He could feel the blood vessels in his head bulge and he swore they were going to pop any moment. "LA?"
"California… Hollywood. Yes," May frowned, watching him attempt to brush the knowledge of this off.
"Well…" he paused, watching the ball descend slowly. "That's good. LA is the perfect place for her."
"Yes, it is a good place for her career. I wish her all the success in the world…" May set aside her knitting and took Peter's hands in hers. She waited until his eyes met hers and she raised her brows. "What I don't understand is why you didn't know? What happened between you two Peter?"
"Nothing, Aunt May," Peter avoided her eyes. "She probably just didn't have time to come say goodbye. It's no big deal."
"So you are trying to tell me, she had time to say goodbye to this old lady, but not her best friend?" May couldn't believe him.
"Well, you do live next door to her parents," Peter shrugged, looking down at his aunt's fragile hands holding his. "It's okay, Aunt May."
"She also made me promise not to tell you," May smirked, catching him off guard. "I wonder why that was, hmm?"
"It's nothing, Aunt May. Don't worry about it," Peter shrugged, unsure of what else he could say. His eyes drifted back to the TV. Five minutes to midnight.
"I bet you it's not too late to catch her. The least you could do is see her off, Peter. Whatever has you two fighting, is it really worth losing your chance to say goodbye?" May pressured him.
Peter didn't answer. His heart was pounding heavily. Should he at least go say goodbye? No… They had done that last night. It was time to move on and stay away. She was off to a new life; any involvement from him could do more harm than good. Time ticked by slowly.
At the airport, MJ gave Zoey and Garrett some privacy. Well, as much as one could get in a busy terminal. However, it had slowed significantly since she last looked around. Everyone was on their way or watching the TV closely, counting down the minutes to the New Year.
MJ leaned against the cool glass of the window, watching them gas up the plane that would take her to LA. She pushed off the glass and went to the ticket booth. "Excuse me, how long until we board?"
The flight attendant turned to MJ with a strange look. "After midnight, ma'am. The plane is being prepared as we speak. We are a little behind schedule tonight, with the holiday and all. Please be patient. If you would just sit and enjoy your New Year celebration with your family, I assure you we will be boarding shortly thereafter."
MJ slinked away from the counter and went back to her spot by the window, away from the crowds.
"Three minutes now!" someone in the background shouted.
MJ groaned. "Hooray." she drawled.
"You know, Peter…" May started as the clock counted down to a minute and a half until the New Year. "We both know what it is like to not have a chance to say goodbye to someone we care for. We both know how silly it is to allow foolish pride to weigh our judgment. I would give anything to have one more chance to speak with your uncle and let him know that no matter what happens, I will always… love for him… care for him. If I had an opportunity like that, I wouldn't pass it up."
Peter listened to his aunt speak as he watched the ball in Times Square fall until it stopped and the entire crowd in Times Square erupted into cheers and screaming Happy New Year!
The house in Queens where he sat with his aunt was silent and not a word was spoken.
Mary Jane lifted her head from the glass as the cheers erupted around the terminal and everyone was embracing and kissing as the New Year was upon them. She looked out into the night, finding the Manhattan skyline. "Happy New Year Tiger," she fought back tears, refusing to start her new year reduced to sorrow.
Zoey rushed over moments later to hug her and celebrate.
MJ hugged her in return, wiping her own tears away.
Zoey hadn't noticed her crying and was back in Garrett's arms, and celebrating with the other travelers in the terminal before MJ could blink. She stood in the middle of the circular terminal, filled with people celebrating and happy. She had never felt more alone.
Peter stared at the TV for so long, his eyes started to blur and everything became one glowing blur.
May was afraid to move, afraid to blink. She could see her nephew at battle with himself. It wasn't until he finally stood, that she drew breath.
"Happy New Year, Aunt May," he said.
She stood up beside him. "Happy New Year, dear."
He turned to her and gave her a hug. "I'll call you tomorrow." he gave her a tight smile. "I gotta fly."
"Good luck, Peter. Hurry now! The snow's started so they might delay the flight longer!" she shooed him out the door.
Peter gave her one final quick smile. He was doing this. He was really doing this. He wouldn't allow MJ to leave his life like this. Not without a proper goodbye. What that proper goodbye entailed, he wasn't sure. He wouldn't allow himself time to think that through for fear he would change his mind. He needed to get to MJ before it was too late. Then he would let whatever was meant to happen, happen. He was out the door in a blur.
"Peter! Your coat!" May called from the doorway, clutching the coat in her hands.
"I won't need it!" he called back over his shoulder, disappearing down the block. He pulled off his sweater once he was in the dark of night, and pulled on his mask, taking to the sky.
The airport grew even less crowded ten minutes later. Most everyone had already moved along his or her own way.
Her own flight was finally ready to begin boarding. MJ watched as Zoey said goodbye to Garrett. The back seats were filling in first, so they still had a bit of time before they could board.
MJ took a shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves. She fiddled with the strings of her scarf, needing something to keep her moving. She glanced at the clock for the millionth time in the past five minutes. It was twenty after midnight and they were supposed to take off in five minutes, but they had barely started boarding.
She needed to get out of here now. She was ready to start new. She was ready to make a change. It scared her to no end, and the longer she thought about it, the harder and scarier it seemed.
She hugged herself tightly, allowing herself to believe she would make it on her own and finally allow Mary Jane Watson to become what she always dared to be. An independent, successful, woman who was proud of herself. She stood up a bit straighter and took another deep breath. This one was steadier and she exhaled loudly, letting go of some negativity.
It also helped that the call for general boarding came at that time. She didn't waste a moment, gathering her carry on luggage and showing her ticket to a man in a uniform. She took a moment, looked back and scanned the terminal. Then she turned back and walked down the ramp to board the plane.
She found her seat quickly, stowing her bags in the overhead compartment. She sat in the window seat and crinkled the ticket stub in her hand as she took deep breaths.
This was it.
Peter rushed into the main terminal, looking at the scheduled flight times and after a long process of sorting through the screens and airlines, he finally found the flight to LA that MJ would be on. He rushed to the escalator taking him to the next half of the terminal. He showed his ID and went through the detectors quickly. He ran at full speed, maybe even a bit faster than he should, to the gate.
He looked around the circle of gates, trying to find the one he needed. Most of the area looked abandoned as if all flights came and went already. Peter's heart was racing, but it had nothing to do with his jog or mad dash to the airport. He was just too late. He took too long.
It had been difficult as hell to web sling here. There came a point when he realized he could web sling no further and he had given up and took a cab. Traffic was awful and he contemplated running alongside the expressway, but he figured the police wouldn't take too kindly to that. So, he took the cab as far as he could, then ran full speed the rest of the way.
All that and he still wasn't fast enough! He glanced at the world clocks in the middle of the terminal. It was nine minutes to one. He finally urged his feet to move again and he very ungracefully slammed into the counter of the airline flying MJ to LA. He gasped a breath. "Flight to LA?"
The woman glared at Peter with a look he hadn't see a woman give him since his days of being a high school nerd. She straightened some of the papers he had shaken loose. "Already boarded, sir. I'm sorry."
"Can you please let me on? If I miss this flight, it's the end of my life. Please, I beg you," Peter clasped his hands together as he begged the beautiful blonde to adhere to his wishes.
The woman chuckled as if she found his plight hilarious. "I'm sorry, sir. The plane is already on the tarmac, waiting in line for take-off. There would be no way at all to stop the flight now." she paused. "We were already delayed a good half hour or so between the weather and the New Year. You should try arriving on time in the future." she began typing at her computer. "Our next flight to LA is seven am, but unfortunately it is booked solid. I would be happy to put you on stand by."
"You don't understand!" Peter gripped the edge of the counter tightly. "I don't want to fly to LA."
"Well, then.. I would be happy to arrange another flight for you-"
"No!" Peter shouted, then shrunk into his shoulders a bit, as he realized everyone left in the terminal had stopped to look at him. He smiled at the woman precariously. "I'm sorry…" he couldn't think. How could he stop the flight? "Listen…" he thought. "The woman I love is on that flight. I need to tell her, or I will lose her forever! Please, as a woman, you must understand." Peter pleaded, losing all hope. He wasn't even sure that's what he would say to MJ.
The woman seemed to grow a bit more sympathetic and her smile more genuine. "I am so sorry, sir. It sounds so romantic. I wish I could help you. But there is nothing I can do."
Peter sunk against the counter in defeat. "Please?"
She frowned, shaking her head. "Truly, sorry." then she walked off, leaving him alone.
Peter's heart was now at his feet and with every step he took, he trampled it a bit more. He collapsed into a seat facing the windows.
Outside the snow swirled lightly in the black sky, lit up by bright orange and white fluorescent, air traffic lights. He immediately found the line of planes waiting on the runway for take-off.
He quietly considered breaking out onto the tarmac and allowing Spider-Man to run down the plane and hop on, finding MJ. What the spectacle that would cause! That would certainly put Spider-Man in the spotlight with MJ. Definitely not the answer.
So what was the right answer? Would he just watch as she left his life? And quite possibly forever? He stood up, making his way to the window. His eyes found a handprint on the clean glass and he pressed his fingers against the smaller print, imagining they were hers. He leaned his head against the cool glass, watching as plane after plane sped off and up to the sky.
With all his powers, there was nothing he could do. He had no way to stop that plane and no way to keep MJ from going. He huffed as tears formed in his eyes. He had the power to stop her leaving all this time, and the worst part was it never required spider strength or any super human power to do that. All it required was for him to open his heart and trust in the love they had for one another. That could protect them. If only he had listened to her and trusted what she said. Now, it was too late for that.
But he just couldn't! He couldn't do it! He couldn't believe anything could keep her safe. Too much danger had found her since she became a bigger part of his life.
He lifted his head in time to see her plane in motion, circling for take-off.
Now she was gone. Off to LA to achieve her dreams and start something new. He had no idea what he would've said to her had he actually caught her. Maybe he would've told her how much he loved her. Maybe he would have said they'd always be friends and he would always be there for her, as he told her once before. Or maybe he would have remained so scared that he still would have still kept everything hidden. It would have been embarrassing and confusing and he would have only made things worse for her. He would never know though, because it was not going to happen. He was too late.
He sighed, shaking a bit. However it would have turned out, he just wished he hadn't missed his chance to see her off and say goodbye the right way. He had to let go of his Uncle Ben without saying goodbye, why should the only other person he ever dared to love as much be any different.
The plane was speeding down the runway and with each burst of speed; his heart clenched further knowing this was really it now. This was really the end. "Goodbye Mary Jane."
He watched as the plane lifted off the ground and into the snow speckled sky. He continued to watch until it disappeared from his sight and then he finally turned, head low and hands in his pockets as he walked away. He turned back once more scanning the terminal just in case she had stayed, maybe she sensed he'd come, sense that he really did need her. But, there was no sign of her. He continued on his way, ready to let go. And not because he was really prepared to, but because he had no other choice.
This was really the end.
THE END
Well folks, that's it! I have finally finished this story. I want to thank everyone, who has either been here since the beginning or just found this fic for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it. Please leave lots of feedback and let me know what you think! And don't worry! The sequel is already spinning in my head. I almost started it instead of adding these final chapters here on Now its complete and I can work on part 2! Hope you will stick around and see how things turn out. Thanks again and I just want to say, there is no better satisfaction thank completing something, seeing it through until the end.
