Dr. Light proved slightly more difficult to defeat then usual considering they were one member short that is until he mentioned it to the Titans. They were more pissed off then they had ever been, but no more so than Raven. Her two amethyst eyes went blood red and she grew tremendously in size. Black tendrils grew from her cloak and grabbed Dr. Light ripping apart his suit piece by piece and soon going for him. The other titans managed to snap raven back to normal before she did something she would have regretted the rest of her life.
After their fight with Dr. Light, Raven retreated to the confines of her room and the others continued to prepare for Beast Boy's ceremony. After a few days the other grew worried about Raven seeing as how they haven't seen her at all the last few days. They had decided that they would look at Beast Boy's gifts after his ceremony so they could focus more on what they were going to say about him. The ceremony was tomorrow and all the Titans were either prepared for it or getting readies to, but at Titans Tower it was a different story.
For the past couple of days Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire called all the honorary Titans to tell them of the terrible news and when the ceremony would be taking place. They had also prepared speeches about what they were going to say about their green friend. It was the day before the ceremony and everything was taken care of, but the mood could not have been more somber even if someone had tried. Robin was staring out their large window into the horizon trying to avoid the reality of tomorrow. Cyborg was playing on the gamestation in an attempt to cope over the loss of his friend. And Starfire simply stood in the kitchen making her home planets pudding of sadness. She had already enough batches to feed three armies and eventually stopped. She slowly walked into the Common Room to join Robin and Cyborg.
The only one that seemed to be still missing was Raven, but she hadn't left her room since the fight with Dr. Light and they did not think that was going to change anytime soon. "My friends, I am most worried about Raven. She has not left her room since the encounter with the Dr. Light," Starfire said with her high toned voice yet full of concern.
Robin turned around and walked over to his alien girlfriend and he took her over to the couch and they both sat down. He draped an arm around Starfire resting his hand on her shoulder. Starfire cuddled closer to him and rested her head on his chest. Robin then began to rub his hand up and down her arm in an effort to comfort her. "It's ok Starfire. I'm sure she is fine. She's probably still upset about what Dr. Light said about Beast Boy. Heck I'm still upset about it," Robin said with a caring and angry voice.
Ever since Beast Boy's death, Starfire and Robin have been closer than ever. They're trying to spend as much time together as possible in case something like this happens to them. Cyborg turned off his game and put the controller down. "I still can't believe he said that, and I can't believe how angry Raven got over it," Cyborg said with a sigh in his voice.
"Can you really blame her? If she hadn't done anything, then I would have," Robin said with slight anger in his voice. Starfire wrapped her arms around him in order to calm him down. His anger resided in him for a moment but soon subsided. "I'm just glad we were able to calm her down before she did something drastic."
Starfire lifted her head up from her boyfriend's chest and looked into his mask. "I am most glad Raven did not do the drastic. Will she be alright at Beast Boy's funeral," Starfire asked on the verge of tears.
Robin smiled at his girlfriend and leaned down to give a kiss on the lips. He pulled back and said, "I hope so Starfire, but we need to ask her first. Speaking of which did everyone write down what they are going to write down at Beast Boy's ceremony." The others nodded and then the room fell silent.
After a few moments of silence the Common Room doors swished open to reveal a dark empath. She was in her usual attire and the hood of her dark blue cloak was concealing most of her face. The other titans turned their heads to the door to see Raven standing there. She walked down the steps and went into the kitchen. She was making herself her usual cup of herbal tea. The other three titans left their couch and went into the kitchen to see their friend.
"Hey Raven, haven't seen you around lately," Robin said nervously. Raven just stood there with her back to her friends not talking or moving. And then an odd awkward moment of silence fell upon the room.
"Yeah, anyway we were talking about Beast Boy's ceremony and what we were…" Cyborg stopped when he saw that Raven was shaking a bit. "Uh Raven, you alright?"
Raven immediately stopped her shaking and turned to see Cyborg. "I'm fine," she said in her deadpan voice. Cyborg raised his eyebrow in question. She let out a sigh and said, "I actually need to talk to you guys about that. Just let me get my tea first." The others were shocked to say the least, but preceded back to the couch and waited for Raven.
Raven joined them with a cup of warm tea and then sat down between them all. "Ok Raven what did you need to talk to us about Beast Boy's funeral?" Robin asked questionably.
"I'm not going," Raven said bluntly. She didn't feel like beating around the bush. She wanted to get it out of the way the longer they talked about it the harder it would be. And ordinarily they would ask why, get their answer and leave her alone about it.
"WHAT?!?!," all three yelled
"What do you mean you're not going?" Robin asked startled by her statement.
"Yeah, this is Beast Boy's funeral we're talking about here," Cyborg yelled
"Please, why do you not wish to honor Beast Boy?" Starfire asked with her hands cupped together.
"We weren't even really friends. It would be an insult to him if I went, plus I'm not really one to say what I'm feeling," Raven answered.
"But Raven, Beast Boy would wish for you to be at his funeral more than anyone," Starfire said on the verge of tears.
"Starfire all we did was argue, we couldn't have been more different, and even if I did go, I could say anything about him. So I'm going to say it one last time I AM NOT GOING," Raven said emphasizing her last statement to everyone. "Now if you don't mind, I need to meditate."
"Raven was about to leave but Cyborg blocked her path. "What are you doing?" Raven asked annoyingly to her half-metal friend.
"We are not done talking about this. You're not telling us the whole truth Raven. There's something else isn't there," Cyborg pushed.
"No there isn't," Raven answered
"Yes there is. Robin I didn't notice it before, but ever since Beast Boy died, Raven has not once said his name," Cyborg stated.
"You know I think you're right. Raven hasn't said Beast Boy's name once now that I think about it," Robin agreed.
Raven simply looked at the floor. She was not able to face her friends. She wishes she could just disappear. She could but they would simply follow her and continue to pursue these questions. After a few moments of silence, Cyborg spoke up once more. "So Raven, why can't you say Beast Boy's name?"
"I can," was her reply.
"Oh really, then say it right now," Cyborg stated crossing his arms over his chest and raising his one eyebrow. Nothing but silence was evident through the entire room. After a moment Cyborg decided to try another tactic. "Ok Raven say "beast"."
"Beast," she stated dryly.
"Ok, now say "boy"," he stated.
"Boy," Raven repeated.
"Good, now say both words," he said with a slight demanding voice. Only silence was once again evident. "Jeez Raven, you can say "beast" and "boy" separately, but you can't say "Beast Boy!" Why can't you say his name?" he exclaimed.
"Please friend, are you upset with him?" Starfire asked innocently not knowing that that was far from it.
"Did you guys have a fight before the mission?" Robin asked seriously.
"What, do you hate him so much that your never gonna say his name again!" Cyborg yelled at her.
That last statement by Cyborg broke her. They could say anything else that she was upset with him, that they had a fight, that she was annoyed by him. But you could never say that she hated him. Without thinking her eyes went white and she threw Cyborg against a wall with her dark powers and held him there. "DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT I HATE HIM," Raven yelled so loud that it echoed throughout the Tower.
"Raven stop! You need to calm down," Robin exclaimed in an attempt to keep her calm.
"Please Raven, I am sure Cyborg did not mean by what he had said. He simply wished to know why you do not say our friend's name," Starfire said innocently to her angry dark friend.
Raven turned her head to Starfire, her eyes still holdings its bright whiteness and her teeth were gritted in an attempt not to yell at the top of her lungs. "You want to know why I don't say his name," she said angrily as white streaks went down her cheeks. It's because… because…," she never finished as she dropped to her knees. Her eyes returned to their normal amethyst color except they were watery and the white strips that went down her cheeks were tears flowing freely. "It's because I love him," Raven said quietly tears pouring out of her eyes.
She put her head in her hands and continued to sob out I the open. She hated herself right now. One for being weak and balling her eyes out, and two because she is doing it in front of her friends. When she fell to her knees her powers stopped and Cyborg dropped to the floor. He had heard what Raven had said and was now regretting it greatly for making that really outlandish accusation.
Cyborg slowly walked over to Raven who was still sobbing like no tomorrow. He hesitantly placed his large metal hand on her shoulder. She gasped loudly and jumped slightly. She turned her head over her shoulder to see who it is. Cyborg looked at her tears drenched face and felt truly sorry for her. "Raven, I'm sorry about what I said. I really had no idea," Cyborg said solemnly.
Raven shut her eyes tightly as more tears streamed down her face. This pain in her heart was unbearable, and it was just getting worse. She wished that she could wish way her feelings. 'Feeling nothing at all, had to be better then what I'm feeling right now,' Raven thought. She began to stand up until she felt something grab her arm. It was Cyborg's hand; he then helped to her feet from her position on the floor.
He still had a slight grip on her arm, but he then took his other hand and placed it on the side of her stomach as they made their way for the couch. Cyborg let go of her and she sat back down and looked down into her lap. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and hugged herself in an attempt to comfort herself. She then felt two arms wrap around her shoulders, Raven looked to her right and saw Starfire hugging her comfortingly. Raven leaned into Starfire's hug and let her friend hold her. "Raven you have "the feelings" for Beast Boy?" Starfire asked while attempting to hold her dark friend. Raven shook her head slightly and this left Starfire confused.
Raven released herself from Starfire's grip and un-wrapped her arms from herself and cupped her hands together and placed them on top of her lap. "I didn't just get them; I've had feelings for him for a long time now. And now that he's gone, it kills me just to say his name since we never had a chance to…" she trailed off as fresh tears came rolling down her face.
Robin and Cyborg decided to join the girls on the couch and sat on the left side of Raven. "Raven is this why you haven't left your room for the last few days? You miss Beast Boy and you wanted to be left alone," Robin stated knowingly and yet comfortingly. Raven nodded slightly as she whipped her tears away. "Well you don't have to be alone. We all miss him and wish he was here," Robin said trying to console her. Raven did not move or waver as she continued to stare at her lap. Robin noticed this and decided to say one last thing. He placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "You now Beast Boy will be pretty upset if you don't show up at his ceremony. But I think he is more upset of seeing you so sad. There was one mission he told me he had yet to complete," Robin said. Raven grew interested and wanted to know what this one mission was.
"What was it," she spoke quietly and dryly from her crying.
Robin smiled and said, "He wanted you to be happy, but he wanted to be the one to cause it. That's why he always pestered you every day and continued to push. He wanted you to smile, to laugh, but he wanted to be the reason for it. He did it because he cares about you more than anyone I have ever seen. Much like how I care about Starfire."
Raven sighed and said, "Robin your wrong." He looked at her shocked and confused. She averted her eyes from the masked boy and looked to the horizon again. "He did succeed in that mission, everyday in fact. I was just afraid to show him because I might have hurt him. So I pretended to be annoyed by him."
The other Titans looked at her in disbelief; they knew that her powers were derived from her emotion, but when her father Trigon was defeated she told them that she could feel, but not to expect anything different from her. She did open up more, but still kept her stoic personality.
"That may be, but he still would have appreciated it though," Robin said full of concern in his voice. Raven looked away from the horizon and back to Robin. Her eyes were bloodshot red from all of her crying. "And I know he would appreciate it if u came."
Raven allowed a small smile to grace her lips, she was truly fortunate to have friends that cared so much about her. They truly were her new family and always would be no matter what. "Alright Robin, I'll go to his ceremony for him." Raven said finally giving in. The others sighed in relief they were now glad that Raven had decided to come to Beast Boy's ceremony.
"Well now that I am going I guess I should write something about Beast Boy," Raven stated dryly. Her throat was really starting to hurt her, but she was not surprised this was perhaps the most she had ever cried in her entire life. She stood up from her position on the couch and began to walk to the kitchen. She stopped short of the kitchen, turned around and said, "Guys thanks for talking to me, and thanks for dealing with all my crying. I know that's not usually me, but I guess if I didn't then something worse might have happen." The others smiled and nodded in appreciation. This was the first time Raven was really open with them and they were beyond happy. They had only wished this happened in a more pleasant mood. Raven turned around again and left the Common Room to go back to her own.
