Many thanks to Silencian for this song!

A much meatier chapter this time, enjoy.


Koko Soko Asoko
Where are you my heart?
Koko Soko Asoko
Can't find you in the dark.

I started down the hill. Trying not to stumble while running down a sharp slope is incredibly hard. Eventually it became a kind of skid cum run down the hillside. Finally I reached Koyouen. Problem is, I couldn't actually enter the school grounds. Being dressed in North High uniform…they'd surely kick me out.

I'm looking for a friend who is lost in the dark.
Can you help me find him?
He has lost his heart.
When he looks at me, he tries to tell me where he is.
But I can't take this, please tell me now
What is it that I miss?

What the…Smiling Bastard? I waved to him, and he rose an eyebrow, but walked over. Dressed in Koyouen's uniform, he cut an even more…girl magnet-y aura. Which of course, pissed me off even more.

"Hey, Koizumi."

"Hey, do I kn—" Koizumi was suddenly attacked by what looked like a migraine. He then shook his head, and seemed to clear it. "Kyon. It's really hard to remember who I am, or who everyone else is anymore."

"Koizumi. Do you know what the hell is happening?"

"Hmm. Kyon. Did you see a clone of me running along somewhere?"

"Well, yeah…that's why I'm confused."

"Hm…" Even this development seemed to confound him.

"It is possible that Suzumiya-san's mental stability…may be called into question."

"You're saying she's going batshit crazy?"

"…Basically, yes. However, I believe the reasons there are two of us….perhaps she is trying to compare the two worlds: this one, and…the one I have in my memories."

"So you never went to North High in this world?"

"No."

"I see…"

None of this helped me in locating Haruhi.

Koko Soko Asoko
Where are you my heart?
Koko Soko Asoko
Can't find you in the dark.
Koko Soko Asoko
Please let me find you now
Koko Soko Asoko
Then I try with this sound

"Well, then, you know how dire the situation is. Where do you think she might be?"

For once, the Smiling Bastard genuinely smiled. I could tell because he guffawed; out of character for him, but seeing as the world was falling apart…

"Pffshaw, Kyon, my main man, I believe you would be the most qualified tah answer that question…"

"Why the hell are you speaking with a—never mind. Okay. I'll try and figure it out myself."

I started back up the hill. This was incredibly weird. The world was apparently falling apart, and everyone was being…really weird. I saw people walking oddly; some with body parts completely out of proportion; and some with personalities way out of wack. Mikuru for example was parading down the main street. If this wasn't odd enough, no one took any notice of her, instead salivating over some 80 year old grandma. The ground warped and shifted; my vision was unclear and clear at the same time; the sky was purple; buildings distorted, bulged and shrunk, stretched and compressed; and it was all happening around me.

La-di-da-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da-di-da
La-di-da-di-da

You're not serious, Haruhi. Come on. This is just a joke right? I began laughing hysterically. She's just PLAYING with me! That's all! Just like my little sister! There's NOTHING AT ALL TO BE WORRIED ABOUT. She's just playing with me! Like a little doll! Like the bitch she is! Like how everything's fucking falling apart around me! No WONDER she had no faith in me! Because I was just a goddamn puppet. That's why I couldn't stop Asakura; Yuki had to step in. That's why the espers, the time travellers, the aliens, all of them came; because I was just Haruhi's puppet. That despite everything I was just being used.

Being used…

Being fucking used…

By the one who I love.

Koko Soko Asoko
Where are you my heart?
Koko Soko Asoko
Can't find you in the dark.

It was during the concert.

"dakara watashi tsuiteiku yo
donna tsurai sekai no yami no naka de sae
kitto anata wa kagayaite
koeru mirai no hate
yowasa yue ni tamashii kowasarenu you ni
my way kasanaru yo
ima futari ni God bless..."

What the hell is that girl doing…

I have to admit though, she's pretty good.

The song ended. The audience cheered, and Haruhi grinned up there, in her chocolate coloured bunny suit.

"Yuki and I here, we're actually only the subs…"

I watched on, in amazement, as the girl I thought incapable of compassion and humility, displayed these very traits in front of me.

"Then, here we go! Lost my Music!"

The bass started up again, and even though Haruhi had only said the guitar was just for show, she started playing it expertly.

I tried not to seem impressed. But even I started tapping along with my finger. It was a catchy song…

"daisuki na hito ga tooi
toosugite nakitaku naru no
ashita me ga sametara
hora kibou ga umareru kamo Good night!"

[The person I love is far away,
So far that I'm almost crying.
When I open my eyes and wake up tomorrow,
A new hope will perhaps be born, Good night!]

Afterwards, she explained the whole story. About how she happened to overhear the conversation of the guitarist had tripped and sprained her wrist, and the vocalist had been hospitalised with tonsillitis.

"So you rolled up your sleeves and performed?"

"I wasn't even wearing sleeves then. Well, if I were them, I'd perform out of sheer will, voiceless or armless."

"No doubt…"

"But I felt they really were helpless…Don't you feel sad…for the members who couldn't perform?"

My mind started whizzing. I didn't know about this side of her…

"They practiced so hard for this day…"

She was actually considerate of other people. She had done the impossible.

I just watched her, and agreed with her. I thought about my opinions on her…

"Ah, visitors!"

"Who for?"

"Miss Suzumiya," Kunikida said, smiling.

She sat there for a moment. Then she grabbed my tie. "Come on, let's go."

"Woah, hang on—"

Then she talked with the real band members. They gushed about how their new songs wouldn't go to waste, and how great she was. She directed them over to Yuki too, since Yuki had also played…but then they uttered 2 words which I think had the greatest effect on Haruhi.

"Thank you."

Since then, Haruhi had worn a very complicated look. And when lunch came around, she quickly hurried out.

Searching for her, I found her under a tree in the courtyard, staring up at the sky.

"Hey."

She paused, before responding.

"What's up?"

I myself looked up where she was gazing. All I could see were clouds…

"I just wanted to make further preparations."

"That performance was amazing, being on the fly and all."

"Yeah…but there's a part of me wondering: was that enough? How do you put it…I felt like…I was actually doing something then."

I turned back around and looked at the SOS Brigade's clubroom. Yeah, I guess even she knows she's just wasting time there…

"I'm just so agitated, I wonder why?"

"Psh. Like I'd know." I once again moved to gaze at her, lying on the grass. She seemed…so peaceful, compared to the Haruhi I'd once known. I smiled. It's just because she's not used to being thanked for something she's done.

She caught me smiling. "Oi. What are you smiling about? Spit it out. I'm sure it's nothing though. Keeping quiet is bad for your mental health."

Oh. Well I guess there was still the old Haruhi in her. I shrugged, and squatted down beside her.

"It's nothing."

She got so worked up she pulled out some grass and tried to throw her handful at me, but the wind blew in her face at that moment and the grass hit her face instead, temporarily blinding her. She yelped, and then wiped her face. "Oh geez!"

I laughed. She seemed resentful for a moment, then thoughtful.

Then she got THAT gleam in her eye.

"Hey, play any instruments?"

I knew where she was now.

That one time…

That only time, where anyone outside of her little bubble gave any gratitude to her.

It was kind of obvious, when you thought about it.

I dashed back to North High.