Many thanks to my betas – Reamhar & KCerena.
I'd recommend reading my story "Winter of Love" before reading these outtakes.
Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight!
Chapter 23 – JPOV Outtake
JPOV
I felt like a jackass standing in the Cullens' gigantic tacky house, staring at the stairs and waiting for Alice to come down. The minute the front door opened and Esme, the ice queen, stared at me I'd regretted the decision to attempt entry through the front door. So much for Rose the know-it-all's advice. I mean – Jesus –flowers and front doors! The flowers that were fast wilting in my hand were a great analogy for the brilliance of Rose's advice
At least, thanks to Daddy Cullen, Bells and I were allowed to enter. I had yet to form a proper opinion about the dude. He looked ridiculous with the martini glass in his hand and a polo sweater wrapped around his shoulders. At least the he was friendly enough – gotta give him credit for that. He literally saved the day when he walked over to join his stuck-up wife at the door and proceeded to greet us as if they'd been expecting us.
I should've bought a box of chocolates; at least I could have eaten them once she kicked me out of here, I thought, when Alice finally pranced down the stairs.
"Hey. Are those for me? Thank you," Alice said, taking the god-awful flowers out of my hand and grabbing my elbow with her other hand. I followed her into the kitchen where she proceeded to put the flowers into a vase that looked way too fancy. I almost chuckled. I tried to distract myself from the flowers and the lunacy of the situation and focused my attention on the girl instead.
She wore a tight little black dress that hugged her body like a second skin. My jeans felt too tight all of a sudden and I realized that coming here had been a colossal mistake. I hadn't even figured out what to say to her and judging from the past week I most certainly wasn't going to get laid until I figured this clusterfuck out. Fuck. Me.
"Do you wanna take a walk outside?" Alice asked, interrupting my staring session.
"Sure." I followed her out of the kitchen door which lead into the yard. We walked in silence next to each other until we reached their pool. Pretentious fucking family. I was tired of the silence. It was more exhausting than talking.
"So Alice, can we just cut to the chase and figure this shit out? I don't know what you exactly expect, but I've tried. I admit I acted like an asshole. I've told you why, and I don't think this stuff between you and me scares me anymore. I like you a lot. I miss you. I miss us – and not just the sex. You have to know that. If you need me to fall down on my knees and beg for you to take me back – I will, okay?" I rushed my words out. I could feel sweat forming my forehead even though the weather was cold. My stomach churned, bile was rising and I it down swallowed hard, afraid that I might throw up right on their perfectly manicured lawn. I wanted to get this over with. I'd wasted enough time pussyfooting around the subject.
I knew I loved my girl. Almost the minute I laid eyes on her, even though she sometimes scared the shit out of me. I knew. And saying "I love you" almost felt like I was cheapening what we had because it reminded me of how easily Renee would say it to each of her new boytoys. Like it meant everything and nothing at the same time. But it meant plenty to me.
Alice sighed. "Why can't you just say it?" She raised her tiny hands, placed them on my chest and shoved me away. I almost stumbled.
"What, Alice?" I challenged her. "Tell you what? Tell you that I love you? I thought you knew that!"
"You're an ass, Jasper Swan because I deserve to hear that at least twice a day. I love you, Alice Cullen and I worship the ground you walk on." She cracked a smile as the last word left her mouth. "Say it!"
I laughed, but she raised one of her perfect eyebrows at me, which made me reconsider my response instantly.
I suppressed my laughter and gazed into her eyes. "I love you, Alice Cullen, and I worship the ground you walk on." I gave it my best effort. If she didn't take me back after this, I was done. Finito.
Thanks for reading!
