So my beta is nowhere to be found and I finished this about a week ago , I got off my lazy ass and did the beta-ing my self , if I could get someone who wants to beta everyonce In a while like when she cant id really appreciate it , thnx….let me know , review or pm me and hope you enjoy!

When you're gone….

I always needed time on my own,I never thought I'd, need you there when I cry

the days feel like years when I'm alone,And the bed where you lied,Is made up on your side.

As my vice lifted the wavering became more and more pronounced in terms of human hearing. I could feel the tears building up the tears I hardly ever let shed, never in front of a human. Never. It was a mistake to think that I was actually strong enough to sing this new song, I had never tried to sing it except for the one time that I wrote it, even then had been a disaster.

When you walk awayI count the steps that you takeDo you see how much I need you right now?

I tried reasoning saying that maybe they were here and maybe they could hear me, maybe they found me because they actually wanted me because I wasn't a fragile human anymore. Maybe… but no I couldn't think of that, it would only make things that much worse. I watched as he walked away, I watched as he told me his true feelings. Why would I even want him back? After al he has put me through you'd think that I had enough of him and his family.

When you're gone,The pieces of my heart are missing you!When you're gone,The face I came to know is missing too!When you're gone,All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...And make it OK...

I miss you.

I've never felt this way before,Everything that I do,Reminds me of the clothes you left,They lie on the floor,And they smell just like you,I love the things that you do!

But the fact was that I wasn't complete without him. I never would be. I would have given him everything and anything, killing anyone in my way for him…but would I still do that for h8im? Would it be worth it, the effort? The pain that I would endure for him? I could smell them, it was just my imagination but it was damn good. The reality of it. The way it was like they were right next to me…. it was frustrating to know if I opened my eyes that it wouldn't be them standing there but the humans that I was once looked at as.

When you walk awayI count the steps that you takeDo you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone,The pieces of my heart are missing you!When you're gone,The face I came to know is missing too!And when you're gone,The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...And make it OK...I miss you.

It wouldn't be those golden honey eyes I have dreamed of so long, wished were holding me close; fighting away the nightmares I still suffered from. I can barley restrain my self from opening my eyes to feel the pain and see, to prove to myself…what? That all I am is some sick twisted masochistic that just wants to feel the pain burning brighter? No. I couldn't be like that. I wouldn't, I cant…. but I am. And it hurts all the same. I noticed that I started to add new words and feelings into it , they weren't as angry anymore they were more saddened and more accepting of what was going on around me.

We were made for each other,Out here forever,I know we were,Yeah Yeah!All I ever wanted was for you to know,Everything I do I give my heart and soul,I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me...Yeah!

There was nothing that I could do about it now and I was just explaining what I feel looking back , not what I had felt then , I was telling my story , because it had a right to be told. People should know. My story deserved to be told. There was nothing else out there like it. It was unique I gave it all for him and yet I still wound up feeling like this. Not regretful but hurt by his rejection.

When you're gone,The pieces of my heart are missing you!When you're gone,The face I came to know is missing too!When you're gone,The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...And make it OK...I miss you!

There was no more feeling but pain and sadness , the loss of something that had just barley formed but filled me so completely that it has now ripped me apart….

there he stood in front of me one knee on the ground waiting for my answer...

"what the hell?! are you kidding me?" I shouted.

"what do you mean? Bella I love you , you know that , have I ever shown you otherwise? there is no one else out there for me , and I know that we have had our difficulties , I know we have had our ups and downs but have I ever not taken care of you?" I don't know why but I looked to Charlie , I looked to him as if he was supposed to actually do something....but why would he? the man has never been the father he should have been . Renée was right in keeping me away form Charlie for so long and only allowing the periodic visits. there was nothing he wouldn't let his daughter be raped and beaten , if not form him form her "boyfriend" , bring maniacal wemon to torture you.

a father was supposed to be there for you when the mean kids at school were picking on make the mean kid your boyfriend....he was supposed to keep the bad people out of your sight. Not bring them into your house. he was your night in shinning armor until you found "the one".if there was such I thing I would probably never see it. and he would make sure to that.

"look at me Bella..." mike demanded , there was what looked like...pity? maybe? on Charlie's face. I wouldn't know for sure , id never seen anything but the hard cold malice that kept his face a frozen nightmare.

I did the only thing I could think of , I did the only thing that my body would allow . it took up my being , filling me completely with a need I couldn't express. it was there and I knew it , but I didn't know how to make it come out. so I ran , I ran and ran as far and as fast as I could....

In case you didn't know the italics are either lyrics or a flash back , that goes for all or most of my stories… sorry guys for any grammar , my beta is now MIA so if you have any objections feel free to correct it and send it in ill replace it….lol , well , let me know...normal drill , questions? pm or review me with them and I will answer tot he best of my ability...hope fully this clears up one or two issues you may have , as far as the next chs will go pretty much the same , flash backs in italics as well as lyrics to songs....these belong to avril " when your gone" if you haven't heard it its a good -ways , hope you like it and let me know ur thoughts.

btw- check out a story for me if you can bitter sweet blood , not a twilight fanfic but an original by a friend of mine , its under twilight though , I tried getting her a fiction press but it didn't go through , so if you guys could take the time , maybe review if you like it , pm if you are interested... id like to know who has and hasn't read it , if any of you have.