I'm back, and in little worse for wear. Speaking freely and enjoying life.

Btw, you guys remember Mousie, right? Well… another lost soul made its way to my doorstep… and I couldn't turn her away. This time it was a cat. Which my little Marble is not too happy about, but seems to be adjusting. I think the new cat, who mom identifies as Frida (as in Frida Kahlo) and I address by Beeper; was thrown out by her owners… so we will either find those who threw her out and give her back (if she actually ran away) or find her a new home without having to bother the nice animal shelter, who I'm sure is suffering right now… from the economy sucking.

Anyways, I got some suggestions on the next few bloopers. They include:

Prowl gives Bluestreak the 'talk'. :3 (you can already tell I'm going to have fun with this one)

Starscream and Megs doing something!

And… Swindle and Blitzwing doing something!

WINNERS!: Pharen Runningwind, Lucky Koi Jinnai Yamiyuki, Megatron001 and Decepticon05!

Ok onto the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, if I did, I'd make every religious person on the planet rip out their hair when they saw what I created…:3 like that would be a bad thing?


Soundwave sat in his cruiser, which was ironically going about the pace of an ancient piece of debris slowly wandering around a planet. Ravage was occupying his lap while his large servo graced her spines with tender, relaxing movements. They had another solar cycle to get back to Cybertron, so there was no real rush. To which Soundwave was very glad for once. No offence to Megatron, but he rarely got a break even before the war started. Most of his off time before meeting Blaster was spent reviewing documents at home, but after a fateful evening of his beloved coming to his doorstep, weakened and weary, Soundwave's life had a new purpose. He had a reason to come home to his sparklings and Blaster playing on the living room floor, energon ready for evening consumption which then gave way to cuddling together by the entertainment panel. Ahh… those were the halcyon days.

Their little crusier puttered along as the star systems flew by at a leisurely pace. Soundwave couldn't help but allow his thoughts to wander to his beloved again. Blaster was the only mech who had ever been able to stabilize his spark, and allow him the choice of creating sparkling rather than the little darlings just manifesting whenever they damn well felt like it. Soundwave longed for his mate, reassuring himself that throughout the stellar cycles of waiting and wandering, he had never felt the pain of losing a bondmate… even after losing several of his sparklings. Yes, he'd felt the pain of losing Frenzy and Reedman (1) but he'd also felt that every time they went offline they rejoined with his spark. So while he'd gotten use to the subtle pains of the young sparklings going offline, he'd never felt the icy cold sting that lingers when ones bondmate offlines.(2) So he knew in his spark, after hours of logically thinking about it, that Blaster must be alive out there… somewhere. With any luck, the red mech would find his way back to the blue satellite's arms one solar cycle. Soundwave welcomed that day, and prayed it would come soon… he doubted he could continue to recharge under such conditions. Missing ones bondmate was like missing a part of your spark, and recharge always came with the addition of numerous pillows and blankets wrapped around oneself while trying to mimic the warmth of the missing lover… and never fully replacing it.

Another star system passed by as they approached Cybertron. And Soundwave still had yet to realize the small, slightly red tinged spark that had huddled itself in the back corner of the cruiser's cables and circuit panels. The little spark was plotting something… but could not blow its cover yet… it had a job to do… revenge was a dish that burned like the pit when served cold.


Optimus was enjoying the first Cybertronian sunset (3) he'd seen since the beginning of the war. Rodimushadn't returned from his duties in Megatron's restoration effort. Rodimus had been working hard to create the same styles and building structures that had existed before the violent war had broken out.

Optimus, divested of all Autobot insignias, was actually quite humble when approached. He laughed about the same things Rodimus enjoyed, played the same entertainment platforms every other bot played, and drank the same energon every other bot drank. Particularly with the new addition of the solar powered energon producers, the need for energon could be harvested in such a way that it would not harm any other life form. This upheld the need for energon production while refusing to violate the sanction of the Cybertronian Primes- Never harm another living species in their quest for energon. Optimus was content that the new age of Cybertron was going to be built on such values… with bots creating new sparks around every corner. (4)

A quick pang of fear washed over Optimus as he wondered how Jolt, Sideswipe and Bumblebee were fairing at the servos of Shockwave. The mech was an enigma during the war, who knows how he'd treat his pets? Sideswipe could hold his own in the worst of times, but the younger bots were a concern. They knew very little of Cybertronian courtship, and he doubted anyone had ever given Bumblebee the 'talk'. This was mostly because Optimus believed he was a young temple guardian, and had never actually had time to interact with femmes or mechs of his own spark group. Therefore he must have also been rather constrained by the life of a temple guardian, because they were required to spend at least 3 stellar cycles guarding the temple with celibacy vows intact. These were usually confirmed by ritual checkups conducted by the elders of the temples. If one was found to be broken and not raped, it meant immediate termination of their position from the military forces and the temple services.

Optimus worried about what his own life would bring him now. Here he was, standing in skimpy coverings (5) awaiting Rodimus's return, and wondering when he'd see his comrades again. He thought had he been asked if he'd dress like this prior to 3 weeks ago, he'd of shot the mech who asked him and declare him insane. And yet, here he stood, half naked and somewhat daydreaming of Rodimus in berth- clearly having gone mad himself.

Optimus was about to wander off on another tangent when he heard the doors slid open. He whipped around and took off for the front door. There stood Rodimus, looking exhausted and welcoming his bondmate with open arms.

"Hey there gorgeous, what has my favorite Prime been up to all day?" The red mech asked, kissing his mate solidly as he embraced him. Optimus returned the kiss and pressed his full body against his mate.

"Not much, the usual, played games, cooked, cleaned a little for some light exercise, played more games, and… daydreamed about you." He said with a smirk. His thoughts had little restraint over him these days, and most of his daydreams came to fruition in berth, so there was very little to complain about. Rodimus smiled at the last remark.

"Well then… I must help you with those day dreams; they can get rather dangerous when you try to repress them. May I inquire as to what they were about?" Rodimus said, kissing his lover passionately. Optimus smiled into the kiss.

"Well… let's see… we were together… and we were intimate… and… and…" Optimus trailed off, suddenly looking rather sad. Rodimus set his lover down and took his cheek in his servo. He looked into Optimus's optics questioningly.

"Love? What's wrong? You look so sad…" He took Optimus's servos in his own, holding them gently. Optimus looked into his and sighed gently.

"Rodimus… do you…. Do you think we will ever have a sparkling?" He asked, rather timidly. Rodimus looked taken back. Then he smiled, embracing Optimus in his strong arms.

"Of course love… of course… when would you like to conceive? Tonight? Tomorrow? Sooner?" Rodimus spoke. Optimus curled into his arms, resting his head underneath his lover's chin.

"Oh Rodimus… I love you… let's eat and get to berth. You look tired." Optimus said, finishing with a strong kiss. Rodimus returned the kiss, passionately running his hands along the other mech's sides. Rodimus moaned into the kiss, placing his lover back down on the floor.

"Any more trying questions my dear Optimus?" Rodimus asked, giving his lover another light kiss to the helm.

"Well… do you know if Bumblebee or Jolt have been treated well? Neither sparked against their will?" Optimus asked, entwining his arms around his lover's neck.

"Yes. They are being treated well. Their medical files are all in order, and Jolt is listed as being mated to one of Shockwave's guards as a gift from him. Apparently Sideswipe is not his pet, but Jolt's lover and guardian." the red mech said. Optimus sighed; at least the younglings were safe. Even if they weren't younglings by age standards anymore, he would always see them as younglings.

"Good… now… where were we last night?" The Prime smiled, pushing his lover back into the wall and forgetting about the energon on the table.

"Well… I think you and I were about to conceive and you started that cute moaning thing… leading me to come too soon." Rodimus said as he nuzzled his lover's neck. Optimus smiled as he engaged another passionate kiss and pulled away from the slightly younger mech (couldn't have been more than a few stellar cycles younger.) Optimus won the race upstairs, but Rodimus was right behind him, tackling him to the berth and letting the doors shut behind them. (no naughty for you tonight! XD no but seriously, drawing a massive blank here for you to fill in with your own thoughts).


Starscream sat with his larger lover, watching some program rerun from long before the war started. Virtually nothing had been made after the war started, mostly due to the fact that all available mechs and femmes were doing their best to choose sides and not get blown to pieces by the other side.

Starscream sighed as he snuggled into his new bondmate underneath the blanket. He couldn't leave the warmth of the blanket for too long under Hook's orders, not that he wanted to either. Every time he left the sanctity of the warm blanket, he suddenly felt very cold, so much that alarms would blare into his audio receptors within cycles. It was really quite annoying to hear. Beyond that, Megatron just wanted to rest for a few days after the repairs began, and neither one wanted to be too far away from the other for too long. Starscream had spent so many stellar cycles away from Megatron, fighting off every mech who wanted to replace Megatron in his spark, warding off loneliness with self servicing, and of course, keeping the Fallen one at bay- it was enough to make his spark sick. But now his love was here with him… resting and planning for the future with him…

"Starscream? Are you online?" That silvery voice hushed a question. Starscream had allowed his thoughts to go so far into his own helm, he forgot to keep his optics online. He opened them and smiled at his lover.

"Right here Megatron…" He pressed a kiss into the older mech's servo. Megatron smiled back at the younger mech and sat up. He then took the younger mech into his arms and pulled him off the sitting berth and turned off the entertainment system.

"You look exhausted dear." He said, wrapping the younger mech in the blanket and walking him to the shower.

"Get cleaned off and I'll get some energon for us. Then we can go to berth early tonight." He said pressing a kiss into the younger mech's helm. Starscream smiled.

"Absolutely love…but may I ask you something?" Megatron looked at his lover inquisitively. Starscream smiled at him, taking his master's servo in his own. He forgot how large these servos were over the years when he wasn't repairing them when the medics were hard to find during battles. He brushed his digit tips over the battle scared digits of his master.

"What has happened to Soundwave?" He said, stopping Megatron's approval. Megatron smiled with all of his razor sharp fangs.

"He's still looking for what he thought was Ravage on that organic planet." Megatron replied. Starscream frowned, Ravage had been destroyed in battle… there was no way she could have been signaling from Earth. Starscream felt a sudden wave of fear over take his entire frame.

"Are you sure? Perhaps it was just a blip from a extra cannon that was lost on Earth? I mean, Ravage was destroyed in battle…" Starscream hushed to his master. Megatron kissed his lover gently, not wanting to catch him off guard.

"If it wasn't Ravage, then Soundwave wouldn't bring whatever it was back. You know he has good judgment… and you are still feverish. Let's get you into a cool shower and to berth. I don't want you getting sick because you haven't rested well enough.(6)" Megatron gave his lover a light push with the talons that had claimed so many sparks over the last few millennia. Starscream obeyed, knowing that Megatron wouldn't mislead him. Ah he entered the shower, he waited for the water to cool and entered, hearing Megatron's pedfalls leaving the room.

'Hard to think that less than a few stellar cycles ago you wouldn't have dreamed of this night..' The seeker mused to himself as he washed, letting the hiss of the steam signify the heat being drawn out of his armor. He thought he heard Megatron drop something in the kitchen, but he ignored it as it was confirmed by the shouts and curses of his lover. That was his Megatron alright.


As the lone cruiser docked, the former Decepticon Communications Officer emerged from the door carrying his little Ravage in one arm. The little spark headed off on its own… towards the former barracks.

One could almost hear a dark chuckle echo through the hallway after it.


~BLOOPER!~

The Talk.

Prowl walked up to Bluestreak, who was sitting in the battle cruiser's lounge with Drift (7), playing Go. Prowl sighed as he approached with an obscure data pad in servo.

"Bluestreak" he said gruffly. Bluestreak and Drift turned slowly, slightly afraid of the older mech. Bluestreak saw the data pad in Prowl's servo and panicked.

"Ummm… oh boy… I can explain Prowl! Honest!" Prowl held up his servo in silence to Bluestreak. The youngling froze, and then cringed.

"Drift, I have to steal Bluestreak away from you. We need to have the 'talk'." Drift hid his laughter well as he excused himself from the room. Prowl took his seat beside the younger mech and looked at him sternly.

"Bluestreak, you are a young mech, and I was hoping that I wouldn't find a data pad like this in your room… but I guess that's normal for all mechs your age…" Bluestreak couldn't have sunk down any lower in his seat. Prowl continued his explanation.

"Now when a young mech starts having these feelings, his frame starts changing because of hormonal programming in his systems beginning to send out different programming codes to various parts of his frame," Prowl pulled up the data pad "And I take it you found this out when you used this scantily data pad sample to try to get rid of a hard cable?"

Poor Bluestreak must have been 100 degrees hotter than his recommended temperature ranges prescribed. He blushed so furiously that he couldn't get his optics to work. Prowl started to sigh again.

"Blue… it's ok. It's normal… but if you need to talk to me about your body, don't hesitate to. I'm here for you Bluestreak… And so is Jazz (8), whenever I find his ridiculously hot aft." Prowl got up took the data pad with him. Bluestreak looked after him as he turned around.

"Oh, and I'll add some of these data pads to your collection. I haven't used them in a while, and neither will you when you find the mech that's perfect for you." Prowl smiled and walked into a hallway full of laughing mechs.

Bluestreak just blushed insufferably.


1 Reedman's dead now. Why? I just don't want to work with him of Frenzy without Rumble. It's estranged to me.

2 It's like a freezing feeling compared to a gentle rubbing feeling.

3 umm… they are near a star, so they get a sunset. Why? It's romantic. Shush.

4…Bow chicka wow wow. You saw that coming, and you know it~

5 Optimus is now the smart, pretty, housewife. …In lingerie.

6 His repair systems aren't up yet, and he has to stay warm, but not too warm for them to run efficiently right now. Until they get back up to full speed, it's going to be a sick feeling for poor Starscream… not that Megatron won't prove to be a cuddler.

7 Drift is awesome. You know it. I know it. enjoy~

8 Would I go there? :3 you bet your ass I would.

POLL:

WHO SHOULD BE THE FIRST SPARK'S VICTIM?

Breakdown.

Longhaul

Mixmaster

Dirge

And I will throw in Thrust next chapter. But fair warning, I'm going to be pressed for time. I'm starting Calculus 1 on Monday. It scares me. But I'm taking it at NC A&T university. So we shall see how this goes… *fingers crossed*

I still take requests! Oh and Lucky Koi: good job, Starscream wanted to be Megatron's bondmate all along, so when it came to having to choose celibacy or lose it to someone, he choose celibacy cuz he wanted Megsy and no one else. *cyber cookiex2*

Beer Buttercream cake to anyone who reviews. REVIEW. Even just to say Hi.