yaay! i'm back, and this story's just writing itself, i swear.
it's too much fun!
anyways, i went outside last night and there were these two GIANT spotted slugs on the sidewalk. They were five inches long! crap they were huge!!!
Also, i'm so mad at itunes!! they can have spanish music on there, but not korean or japanese? J-pop is some of the greatest sound around, and i can't get it on my ipod!!! noooooooooooooo!!! lately i've become obsessed with shinee and kara, both good groups.
Chapter Twenty Three:
The Not Psychotic Tyrannical Thing
Seren didn't realize that she was asleep until she woke up. "Wh-whoa!" She muttered, hair over her face. "Jeez! I wasn't supposed to fall ASLEEP!" She looked around. "Oh! Chompy!" The thing was sleeping- on her butt.
"Jeez! I guess you just like butts," Seren muttered. "You perverted little hollow thing."
Chompy didn't even bother grunting in response. Utterly guiltless.
"Whatever," she said. "You're getting off anyways, I need to get up." She rolled over, heartlessly tossing Chompy off, and went into the bathroom. She got dressed, put her hair up, and looked for the perfume Mila Rose had given her.
Seren sighed as she thought about Halibel's fraccion. She missed those three; she had been there, what, two nights? And yet, in that time, they had managed to find a place for themselves in her heart.
The door cracked. Seren spun around. "Who's there?" She grabbed her brush, prepared for an attack.
"I'm not Nnoitra," she heard a familiar voice say dryly.
"Oh. Ulquiorra." Seren turned back to the bathroom counter. Where was that perfume?
"You're going out today."
"Yeah."
"No. You're going outside Las Noches."
Seren froze. Her eyes widened.
"What?"
"I have received permission to take you outside of Las Noches for three hours. Your necklace is deactivated." Ulquiorra reported.
Seren blinked. 'Translation?' She thought. "So… I can go outside?"
"As long as you leave Fuerda behind and I watch you."
For a moment her mind blanked. What? Ulquiorra was doing something nice for her?! There must be some trick. "What did I do?"
"Did you do anything?"
"No."
"Well then." Ulquiorra turned around.
"… Uh, I'm ready to go?" Seren couldn't help the nagging suspicion that something was behind this. There had to be.
"Follow me." Ulquiorra walked to the wall.
"Um, Ulquiorra, that sure doesn't look like a door-"
He touched the wall, released his reiatsu, and the window widened and expanded from its spot in the corner of the wall to touch the floor. Seren's jaw dropped.
"That was cool."
"Are you coming or not?"
"Yes!" A smile broke out over her face as she realized that this wasn't a joke. She really was going outside! She grabbed Chompy.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, Ulquiorra!" She laughed and raced outside.
Ulquiorra blinked twice behind her, then followed.
Seren felt like a caged bird that had suddenly been let out. She sought to stretch her wings, taste the wind, make up for lost time.
She spun, danced, jumped, and ran around endlessly, just enjoying the bleak area of Hueco Mundo.
"C'mon, Chompy, let's go!" She picked her pet up and spun him. The thing only grunted. Seren laughed, with all the joy in her heart.
She was weightless, effortless, flawless. The sky wasn't too high for her to touch. Her heart could fly. Even the barren, broken trees that dotted the landscape were beautiful cherry blossom trees at their peak to her.
She spun, before falling and rolling down a large sand hill, laughing all the way down. She hit the bottom and flopped around playfully, as Chompy rolled down after her.
She looks like an idiot, Ulquiorra thought. How stupid. Was she really enjoying this, this blank landscape? It hadn't changed, and never would.
Yet she acted like it was a paradise.
Again, a tingling. He felt the corners of his mouth tug into a mournful smile. Somehow, seeing her happy brought him the merest bit of warmth.
He put his hands in his pockets, and let it heat through him. It was nice.
And yet, watching her play also brought him pain. It was like a spike, twisting in a half healed wound. Somewhere in him there was a wish to join her.
No.
The usual answer. He suppressed the idea viciously.
She was a prisoner, nothing more.
Nothing less.
Again, that voice in the back of his head nagged at him again.
'Do it again.'
He wanted her to hug him again. He wanted to embrace her and just stay there, happy. This warmth was pleasant, joyful- it was the only bit of happiness in all of Hueco Mundo for him. He wanted more.
It was like an addiction. One taste, and you needed more.
And more and more.
Until it destroyed you.
An hour later, Seren climbed back up the hill, exhausted. She sat down, panting. Chompy clambered up next to her, and sat down in her lap.
"Hey Chompy, my honey." Seren crooned at it. "I love you." She petted it, even though Chompy just wanted to rest and kept biting at her hand. "You're being a sassy boy today," she lectured. "Bad Chompy!"
She settled back on her back, and looked at the sky. Of course, in Hueco Mundo, it was eternal night. But that was how she liked it. The stars sparkled merrily at her.
A foot appeared by her face. She looked up.
"Ulquiorra!"
"Are you ready to leave yet?" He had his usual blank face on.
"Are you kidding? I have two hours out here yet, and I'm using every second of them!" Seren huffed.
"Hm." To her surprise, Ulquiorra didn't leave as usual.
"Oh, you're not being antisocial today!" She noted.
"I was not being antisocial. You're just annoying."
"Oh, and I'm not being annoying right now?"
"Yes, you are."
"Huh!" Seren said. "Well then."
A wind blew, ruffling their hair gently. Seren sighed contentedly.
"I love it here."
"It is a barren wasteland."
"Well, aren't you the regular killjoy."
"…"
Seren looked up at him. "Just lighten up," she smiled at him. "Try seeing it a different way."
"But it is a barren wasteland."
"But it can also be a haven, a home, or a beautiful desert. It all depends on you."
For a while the two of them just stayed there. The only sound was the occasional grumble from Chompy or whistle of wind.
The white sands blew, looking like diamonds in the starlight. The trees shook, rattling their branches gently. The clouds in the dark sky drifted lazily past; the moon was a great bright orb. The entire world was black and white: black trees, black sky; white moon, white stars, white sands.
"Ulquiorra?" Seren finally broke the silence.
Ulquiorra looked at her. "What?"
"Why don't you ever try addressing me by my name? Really. It's Seren. Say-REN."
"That is unimportant."
"Am I really that annoying?"
"You are rambunctious and noisy. Yes."
"Jerk. But, seriously, have you ever felt empty?"
"I don't know how you mean."
"I mean, like there is nothing there."
"Where?"
"In your heart."
"I keep trying to explain this to you. We have no hearts."
"That is subjective. Maybe not physically, but you could have one nonetheless, I'm sure."
"That is an impossibility."
"It's all relative. Like Hueco Mundo. I believe it is beautiful. You think it's a 'barren wasteland.' I think that we can have hearts. You do not. They can both be right."
"Wrong. It can only be one answer."
"That's where you're wrong, Ulquiorra. There are many possible answers for the same question. Except for things, like, 2 plus 2. Or wait, never mind. It's four, but you could say eight halves or a third of twelve. It's all how you look at it, see?"
"You need to think about something better."
"Nah nah," Seren stuck her tongue out at him. "I think it's plenty fine."
"I think that you should worry about improving your powers so you don't get yourself killed."
"That's also a good idea. But I don't need to worry about that. You're here to protect me." She looked up at him. Her silvery eyes looked into his green ones.
A breeze blew past them again.
"I can't always be there, Seren."
"Sure you can. I have faith in you. And if I can't handle myself, I'm sure Grimmjow would help me."
"Why would he do that?"
"Because we're friends. That's what friends do. They have each other's backs."
"Are you saying that makes us friends?"
"I don't know, Ulquoirra. Are we?"
A lonely breeze coasted between them, brushing through the sands.
"You say I'm empty?"
"Yes. There is the object of the hole in your chest, but I don't think that's it."
"What? My 'heart?'"
"No. You say you don't have one, so you don't. But don't you ever feel lonely?"
Again, that feeling nagged in the back of his head.
"No."
"Well, you wouldn't know better. Have you ever not been lonely?"
"I wouldn't know the difference."
"Ulquiorra?"
"What?"
"You are SO hard to talk to. I give up!" Seren picked herself up, dusted herself off, and grabbed Chompy. "Let's go, boy!" She laughed and picked him up, and raced off to roll down the hill again.
When Seren returned a long while later, she noticed that Ulquiorra was sleeping- standing up. "Didn't know that was possible," she muttered. "Well, this is Ulquiorra…" She poked him.
He didn't wake up.
"Well, stubborn, aren't we?" She shook his shoulder. "Ulquiorra? Ulquiorra! Wake up!"
His eyes flipped open. "What are you doing, woman?"
"Waking you up."
"I wasn't sleeping."
"Sure you weren't. Anyways, isn't it time to go?" Ulquiorra's eyes slowly rolled to look at the sky.
"Yes."
Seren looked up. It was still dark. Nothing had changed. "Uh, how can you tell? The sky hasn't changed. There's no day here or anything!"
"The stars have moved."
"Whoa! How can you tell? They look the same to me."
"I have good eyes." He turned around. "Where's your thing?"
"I told you, his name is CHOMPY!" Seren huffed. She looked around. "Chooooooooooooo-mmmmmmpyyyy!" She called. "Where is he?!"
"Over the next two hills," Ulquiorra said.
"Huh? Oh, you're not kidding. You do have good eyes."
She ran over the hills, leaving without another word, hair swishing behind her.
Seren found Chompy digging a hole under a tree. "Hey, what are you doing, you silly thing?" She picked him up. "Hey, buddy!"
Chompy grunted and struggled to get free. "Huh?" Seren asked, surprised. CHOMP. "YEOOWCH!" She shrieked as Chompy bit her hand, and she dropped him. "CHOMPY! BAD!" Chompy had scampered back into the hole, and refused to come out. "Don't be silly!" Seren huffed. She grabbed him and ran back to Ulquiorra before it could escape again.
"Sorry," she said. "He was being difficult!"
"Let's go." Ulquiorra turned on his heel and sonido'd away to Las Noches.
"What he said," Seren murmured, and ran after him.
It wasn't long before Chompy started whimpering. Seren stopped. "What's your problem, boy?" It only continued to whine and struggle to be let down. Seren pursed her lips. She knew what he wanted.
"What are you doing?" Ulquiorra asked. "We need to go."
Seren didn't say anything, only set Chompy down. Chompy immediately took his chance and scuttled away without further ado, waddling down the hill.
"Why did you do that?"
Seren straightened up. "Because it's what he wanted."
"But don't you want it to stay with you?"
"…Well, Ulquiorra, all I can say is, sometimes if you really love something, you have to let it go."
Ulquiorra didn't say another word, only led the way back to Las Noches.
When Ulquiorra left, he locked the door and warned Seren not to go out again. Seren almost asked why he wouldn't let her out, then decided against it. She was too tired to argue anyways.
She waited until his reiatsu faded away completely before slipped softly to the ground and crying.
Seren hadn't realized how lonely the room was with no one in it. Not even Chompy was there to bite her.
But she didn't want to hold him against his will. She knew how that felt. She would oppose that idea at all costs.
Not for the first time, she wondered why they couldn't just let her go. Really. Why couldn't Aizen just do the not-psychotic-tyrannical thing and just drop her a note when he needed her? She hadn't seen him for days, and she was wondering if she even had a purpose here.
She didn't.
Seren looked at her necklace. Immediately her slow-burning anger started smoking again. She hated the stupid thing! Trying to deceive her with its false charms to make her believe she actually liked it. Of course, Aizen had to have it his way and make it look pretty, when underneath it was actually a terrible thing. Like how he trapped her. He almost acted like a father, but he was far from it.
Deception was Aizen's game.
She viciously tugged at it, willing the string to break. It didn't. She pulled and pulled, and then bit at it. It shocked her. Seren whimpered, before giving up.
She looked at the window. Maybe, just maybe, it was still deactivated…?
She reached her fingers out to reach outside the window- it had no panes. She could smell the air outside, taste freedom. And yet-
A warm buzz warmed her fingers. It warned her not to do it.
Seren sighed and let her arm fall to her side.
It was useless, like everything else in this place.
